Beautiful Life
by LeighKelly
Summary: Three years after the emotionally tumultuous first year of their marriage (and of their unexpected daughter's life) Santana and Brittany have realized that with love, anything is possible. Watch as the two of them and their four year old daughter Annie take on their little corner of the world. Sequel to Finding the Way Back, but can be read on it's own. Santana's POV, canon to 4x17
1. Chapter 1-Under the Rainbow

**Author's Note: Well, ****_hello _****again everybody! As my mother tells me every time I see her, I should ****_really _****give people I chance to miss me before I show up again. But guess what, I haven't listened to her in a ****_long _****time, and I'm crazy excited to get this started. If you've read****_ Finding the Way Back, _****you know we left off at Annie's first birthday in June of 2020. Now, we're in August of 2023. Basically a lot of this chapter fills you in on what's happened to everyone in the three years that have passed, and sets a few things up for what's to come. If you ****_haven't _****read ****_FTWB_****, you can probably still follow what's going on, but if you have time, it might be fun (can I say that after all the angst that's written in that story?) to read. Anyway, this will ****_not _****have the angst of the first story, it will be a ****_much _****less heart wrenching continuation that the journey the Lopez-Pierce family began back then. So enjoy, review if you feel so inclined, I always appreciate it!**

* * *

Almost eight years ago, laying helpless in a hospital bed, I'd resigned myself to the idea that the rest of my life was going to be terrible. The worst had just happened to me, I felt completely alone, and the only thing I had for comfort was alcohol. Three years later, the only woman I'd ever loved came unexpectedly back into my life, her own tragedy still fresh, a baby neither of us expected on the way. Somehow, reconnected by unfortunate circumstances and bound forever by the deepest love, Brittany, my best friend, turned lover, and after her return, turned wife, myself, and the beautiful little girl she'd given birth to, the daughter I'd _never _expected in the darkest hours of my life, became a family. In creating that family, the family I'd long given up on having for myself, the terrible life I believed was meant for me quickly became something entirely different. With the help of my amazing wife, and the child so new to the world, I'd learned that just because horrible things happen, doesn't mean _everything _had to be that way, and somehow, by loving deeply and _being _loved, even the hardest things don't have to be so hard. Once I'd figured that out was when everything changed, when the three of us, so full of love for each other, began our journey towards something amazing, this imperfect, yet beautiful life that I never, in my wildest dreams, could have imagined.

_Tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap, tap-tap_. The strange dream I'd been having was interrupted by a soft tapping sound. When I finally came to my senses, I realized that I was no longer in the middle of a meadow that oddly resembled the one from _Bambi_, I was on a mattress on the floor in the middle of our Gramercy apartment. I could feel the warm weight of my wife's hand that had somehow flung itself across my chest as we slept, I could hear the cadence of her breathing, a tell-tale sign that she'd been woken up by the tapping sound as well. The noise got closer, then stopped, then started up again, and before I could open my eyes, I heard a giggled _oops_ and felt twenty-seven pounds of long limbs and blonde hair tumble down on top of me.

"Sorry, Mamí, I slipped." The little voice squeaked earnestly, and I opened my eyes to see tiny blue ones level with mine. I bit my lip, struggling to keep a grin from cracking across my face, knowing that the four year old who'd fallen on top of me was already sensitive about her clumsiness. Without looking, I could _feel _my wife fighting the laugher inside of her by the shaking of her palm against my skin, knowing that even though it embarrassed our daughter, _we _thought it was so adorably sweet.

"It's okay that you slipped, _mija_, but what's the rule about tap shoes in the morning?" I couldn't help but gather my daughter in my arms and hug her close to me, kissing her little forehead and rubbing our noses together.

"I didn't break the rule, _promise!_" She protested, and the woman beside me had given up pretending not to laugh, knowing how just one word from our Annalise could effect me so much, but still hadn't opened her eyes. "There _is _a seven on the kitchen clock, _look!"_

I pulled myself into a sitting position, still holding the small child in my lap. Squinting so I could see the clock in the distance, I shook my head when the red numbers revealed that it was 6:12, and _probably _had read 6:07 when my clever little girl decided to put her tap shoes on

"Remember, Annie, the seven has to be the _first _number. We don't want to wake up Mama when she needs to get her rest." I told her, using my fingers to comb her hair out of her face. Before the words had even left my lips, I heard a strangled snort come from the _not-_sleeping love of my life, knowing full well that _I _was the one who needed the sleep, and I grinned at Annie, an idea coming to mind. "_But, _I think that since today is a really special day, Mama should be woken up in a _really _special way. Are you ready?"

Annie nodded solemnly, as if being given a very important direction, and before my beautiful wife could react, the two of us began ticking her everywhere. Riotous laugher erupted throughout the apartment from all three of us (which I _knew _the neighbors would complain about, one of the _many _reasons we were laying on a mattress on the floor, _not _in an actual bed, we had completely outgrown the apartment that had held the three of us for just over four years), and at some point, my eyes caught Brittany's and we turned the tickling on our four year old bundle of energy.

"Mercy Mama! Mercy Mamí!" Annie cried out, and the two of us ceased our tickling and began to pepper her with kisses.

Once we'd finished our attack, Brittany pulled off Annie's tap shoes and hugged her close, smelling the lavender smell of the baby shampoo that we still used in her shoulder length blonde hair and savoring the feeling of a blissful Sunday morning in bed. As was typical, I couldn't help but feel a swell within my heart as I looked over at the two beautiful girls, the younger one nearly a clone of the woman who'd given birth to her, both of whom I loved with everything in me. With Annie snuggled against her Mama, the two of them having already giggled out their good mornings, Brittany's eyes caught mine again, and like she had since we were twelve years old, she knew every single thought that ran through my head. She knew that I was looking at them like they'd hung the moon, and I smiled, leaning over to finally kiss my wife good morning.

"Morning, babe." I told her before pulling my forehead away from hers.

"_Early _morning." She corrected, shaking her head with a chuckle.

"Every day." I squeezed Annie's foot, which had dug itself into my side, not actually minding being woken up by the same noises day in and day out.

"Hey, sunshine." Brittany murmured into blonde hair, but not breaking her eye contact with me. "Why don't you go put on the dress I laid out for you last night, and then bring your brush in here so Mamí can do your hair. We'll go have an early breakfast at Cosmo's Diner before everyone else gets here."

"Really, Mama?" Annie bounced up excitedly, running out of the room before either of us could say another world. I yawned and laid back down, knowing Britt's suggestion would buy us at least another ten minutes of rest.

"Still glad you bought her those tap shoes?" Brittany smirked, snuggling close to me and laying her head on my chest.

"You know Britt, even if we have to hear those things all day every day for the rest of our lives, I don't regret it. After she heard those tap dancers at your studio and said '_that's the most wonderfulest noise in the whole wide world,' _how could I not have bought her a pair?"

"Yeah, I know. If you hadn't stopped to pick them up, _I _would have on the way home. We're lucky she never asks for much, you know that, right?"

"I do. If she _did, _we'd probably have to move to an even _bigger _place." I laughed.

"I don't know, I think this one is big enough for a _long _time." Brittany looked up at me seriously, and then smiled. "Are you excited to move in today?"

"Really excited. It's weird too, I moved in here when I was twenty-two, it's where we rekindled our love, it's where we brought Annie home from the hospital, it's where the first four years of the rest our lives happened. But still, our new house is _so _awesome!"

"It is!" She leaned up to kiss me excitedly, and then furrowed her brows. "Do you think Annie is going to do okay with the move?"

The thing about Annie, amazing little girl that she is, was that she had some (despite my resistance towards labeling _anything_) special needs. Born at less than thirty weeks, she'd spent nearly two months in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit upon her unexpected arrival, and Brittany and I had spent a good deal of the first two years of her life anticipating what was to come. Just before her second birthday, we'd finally had her evaluated by an early intervention specialist, and from that, we learned of her struggle with transition (despite the turmoil that had occurred during the first year of Annie's life, we _always _kept things as consistent as possible for her), her occasional struggle with handing intense emotions (although Brittany joked that she'dsimply telepathically inherited that from me), and some delayed motor skill development (she'd been nearly one before she crawled, and when we'd gotten her evaluated, she'd hardly began walking). _On the bright side, _the evaluator had said, her language skills were above age level, and her auditory processing was right where it should be.

We didn't panic (proof that I _was _growing out of my aversion to intense emotions), especially after preparing ourselves for the worst and hoping for the best, instead we took her to physical and occupational therapy twice a week to help her catch up, and held her back from starting preschool for a year. The latter was something that Brittany insisted on even stronger than I had, having struggled herself throughout school, and I _completely _understood why she'd rather her keep her back a year than have her subjected to the same teasing that she'd suffered (and I'd physically harmed people for). We knew she'd be better off spending an extra year with us and her therapists, getting the one on one attention that would help her thrive. Despite her setbacks though, our Annalise was clever, funny, and gifted with seeing the world in her own special way. Sure, she'd probably never be a dancer like her Mama (_I _joked that she'd inherited her Uncle Finn's two left feet, we _had _to have a sense of humor about things) and she might need some extra help for a while, but our confidence that she'd succeed never wavered.

"I think she'll be okay, honestly. We've been there every day for two weeks watching the renovations finish and unpacking things, and she's _beyond _excited for her _Wizard of Oz _bedroom. I mean, we've done exactly what her OT told us to, and even if it takes her time to adjust, she _will_, she always does."

"You're right." She nuzzled my neck and I ran my hands through her hair. "I love you, San."

"And I love you, Britt. I guess we should _probably _get up before _someone _comes back in here ready to go get her waffles and hot chocolate. But I can't _wait _to christen our new bedroom tonight."

* * *

Once we'd come home from breakfast and packed the last of our things, I sat with Brittany and Annie on the floor reading our latest chapter of _Little House in the Big Woods _out loud. It was something we'd started once Annie was old enough to understand chapter books, reading a chapter before bed each night, or whenever the three of us were together and had nothing else that needed to be done. The _Little House _books had been Britt's idea, since _her _mom read them to her and her sister Lizzie when they were kids, and she was _shocked _that I'd never read them, but I was _thoroughly _enjoying the story so far, and Annie had become completely taken by it. Just when Laura and Mary finished making snow angels (and Annie wanted to count the days from August until snow) the doorbell rang and Annie jumped up and ran to the door.

"Who is it?" She cried out, bouncing up and down on her toes.

"Guess!" The deep voice behind the door called out, and a tiny laugh from the other side punctuated it.

"It's you, Uncle Finn, with Auntia Rachel and Brice! Mamí, open up the door for them!" I walked towards Annie, smiling that she _still _combined the English and Spanish words for _aunt, _and she stood back as I swung the door open for my best friends and their two and a half year old son.

"Good morning, my favorite little lady." Finn grinned as he set Brice down and Annie launched herself full force into his arms.

Immediately, Brice toddled over towards Brittany, having been completely in love with her since the day he was born. She picked him up, kissing his pudgy toddler belly, and carried him over to me so I could steal some kisses too. I _adored _that little boy, and had absolutely no hesitations admitting it, even though I _constantly _teased Finn for allowing Rachel to name him after her _Funny Girl _idol, Fanny Brice. He'd been born ten months after his parents were married, eighteen months after Annie, and though I _did _sometimes get nervous that he was nearly as big as my daughter and had a tendency toward throwing all of his weight into her with his hugs (his mom _was _Rachel Berry-Hudson and he _had _inherited her predilection for extreme emotional outbursts) he was my godson and the first child I'd ever loved besides my own.

"S'tana." He lisped, wrapping his chubby arms around my neck from Brittany's arms. "We moving today."

"Oh _chiquito, _you're not moving, just me, Aunt Brittany and Annie."

"Why?" He asked, his face turning into a frown. Rachel smiled at me, remembering how hard of a time I'd had figuring out the right things to say during Annie's _why? _phase.

"Well, I think Mommy and Daddy want you to stay with them."

"Hmmm." He put two of his fingers in his mouth, thinking. "They come too!"

"But what about your spaceship bed, Brice, and all of your toys?" Brittany cut in, knowing I'd probably start talking myself in circles. "I don't think we have room for all of that at our new house."

"Bricey!" Annie piped up from Finn's arms, another one who was good at diffusing situations. "You can come have a sleepover in my new room soon, right, Auntia Rachel?"

"Once you're all settled in and your moms say that it's okay, I think that's a great idea."

"Sounds good to me." I told Rachel, not even needing to confirm with Brittany. She was _always _more than willing to take on an extra kid for the weekend and I looked back at Brice. "Soon, okay?"

"Mmkay, soon!" He shrieked excitedly with an emphatic nod of his moppy dark head.

Kurt and Blaine, fresh off of their honeymoon in Naples, chose that exact moment to walk into through the still open door of the apartment, and I expected Kurt to immediately have something to say about _another _baby having me wrapped around their finger. Instead, he just told Annie how _absolutely fabulous _she looked, causing her to blush profusely and bury her head in Finn's chest, before snatching his nephew out of Brittany's arms.

"Guys." Blaine said, looking around the room. "You have like four boxes here and the old mattresses that need to go out to the curb. You're aware that really doesn't take six adults to move, right?"

"We know." I turned to him, rolling my eyes. "We're pretty much all moved in on Sullivan, we just kind of wanted you all here one last time since there are all kinds of memories in this apartment. Shut up, Kurt."

"I didn't even-" He started, a gleam in his eyes.

"I know, but you were going to."

Annie climbed down from Finn's arms and up into mine as they all started talking over each other about memories, both good and bad (I did _not _remember that I'd once threatened to throw Kurt off the fire escape, although, drunk or sober, it _does _sound believable that the old me would have said something like that), and Britt wrapped her arms around me from behind, her head resting on my shoulder. It was the beginning of yet another chapter in our lives, and there was something so bittersweet about the goodbye. Once Finn and Blaine carried our old mattresses down to the curb and we loaded our remaining boxes into the back of the Hudson's Range Rover, we told everyone we'd meet them at the new house in half an hour. One last time, we walked around the apartment that had been the first Lopez-Pierce home, Annie walking between us with Milky Way, her prized possession, the stuffed unicorn that had once been Brittany's, in her arms.

It was a strange sort of feeling, seeing the marks we'd made on the place over time. When Annie skipped (and stumbled over the door jam) into the kitchen, tap shoes clicking each time her feet touched the floor, Brittany squeezed my hand looking at the burn mark that had never quite faded on the stove after I'd left the pasta on for an hour the night I'd found out Ryan Davis was in jail. I turned away quickly, content to leave that one buried in the past. There were the scuffs Annie's highchair had left when we'd pushed it back against the wall, the patched up hole in the living room wall from where Brittany had put her foot through trying to show me that she could still kick as high she could as in high school, red crayon lines (washable my ass, I'd definitely spent an hour on the phone with Crayola after _that_) above where the couch used to be, pencil ticks in Annie's doorframe, marking her height every six months, dents our headboard had made in the window frame (I wonder _how _that could have happened) all signs for the next tenant of the people who'd come before. We'd lived in that apartment, all three of us nearly on top of each other, and we'd lived well. Grabbing Brittany's hand, we stood in the threshold, taking one final glance before Annie helped us to push the door closed on that past for one final time.

* * *

The three of us had taken a cab down to the Village, our car already parked in the new garage around the corner, and there was giddiness radiating off us as we stood on the sidewalk outside of the pale yellow townhouse that was _ours. _When it had gone up for sale, Brittany and I couldn't _believe _how cheap it was- until we went inside and saw the _insane _amount of work that needed to be done. We were pretty much enamored by the potential we saw in it, but it wasn't until we called our fathers (we'd make terrible feminists!) and asked them to come help us decide, that we knew it would be feasible to make it happen. So six months and a very significant chunk of our savings later (even _after _our parents managed to convince us to take the money they'd saved for our respective weddings, the money that we never used because all we'd wanted was a small ceremony with those closest to us, for the down payment) we were _finally _moving in to the beautiful house that we never even thought to dream of.

"_Mija_." I looked down at Annie who was bouncing excitedly on her toes, tap shoes slipping against the sidewalk. "Ready to help open up the door?"

"Course, Mamí." She scampered up the stairs and stood looking down at where the three of us had pressed our hands into the cement when it been freshly poured, mine and Brittany's on either side of Annie's. "C'mon, I'm all ready!"

Brittany and I looked each other and laughed before making our way over to our daughter. While I pulled the keys out of my purse, Annie pressed her hand down into the print she made and looked up at Brittany expectantly. My wife paused for a minute, counting to ten (we'd told Annie that covering her print on the stairs was what would magically make the keys to our house work) while I snapped a few pictures of the two of them with my phone.

"_Eight, nine, ten." _Brittany finished her counting and Annie beamed up at me. "Okay, Santana, try the keys now."

I turned the key and pushed the door open, feeling a flutter of excitement in my chest. Even though I'd walked through that door _so _many times while the work was being done and we were unpacking, it was different, it was now our _home _that we were entering! Annie ducked under my legs and ran inside while Brittany and I stood for just a moment in the threshold. Silently, I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her in for a deep kiss. Her hands tangled in my hair, pulling me even closer, but before I knew it, she backed away and I felt myself being lifted off the floor.

"Britt!" I cried out, laughing as her arm hooked behind my knees. "What are you doing?"

"I'm carrying you over the threshold, silly!" Her blue eyes sparkled with delight.

"Weren't we supposed to do this when we got married? And how did _you _decide that you got to carry _me?_"

"I was gigantic pregnant on our wedding day." She said simply. "And I thought of it first and picked you up before you had a shot."

I shrugged in her arms, figuring that logic was as good enough as any and grinned when still holding me, she leaned down to kiss me again once we were inside the entryway. _I love you so much_, I mumbled against Brittany's lips and she kept kissing me, leaving me a little dizzy when she finally unceremoniously dropped me to the floor and grabbed my hand, pulling me through the house to marvel in the fact that we _finally _lived there. _Four bedrooms! An office! A playroom! A piano! A tiny square of grass that counts as a backyard in New York City! _It was so much more than we ever could have asked for, and I was beside myself with delight.

While Brittany went upstairs to find Annie, I walked into the office that I'd so meticulously organized (although, I was fairly sure, knowing both Brittany and myself, that it wouldn't stay that way for very long). The need for an office was what had finally precipitated our hunt for a new place to live. Being cramped in our converted Gramercy one bedroom was _one _thing, being cramped with books, papers and _crap _was another. It seemed like since realizing my dream to use music simply to _help _people, there was just _so much _that had needed to get done. While I attempted to figure out how exactly my plan would work, I'd managed to complete an online social work certificate program through Hunter College (because even with so much _life _experience to connect with the people I wanted to work with, I felt like just a little education might help), and continued to write music for Columbia Records. It had been a whirlwind three years, combining those things with my own therapy sessions, weaning myself off of anti-anxiety medication, and coordinating Annie's schedule with Brittany, named by the _New York freaking Times_ as the top choreographer in New York, but we both knew that we'd sooner give up _everything _else than send her to day care or hire a nanny.

As I looked into the office, which was filled with LLC applications, grant funding requests, and the other trappings of starting a non-profit organization (hence why I continued to write for Columbia, my dream may have been capable of changing lives, but it _wasn't _going to bring in a ton of money) I felt like so much was going to start in our new house. My organization, called, until I could actually come up with a real name, the _make people sing about their feelings and shit _project, had the primary goal of being used as an alternative method to help high risk teens- gay, bullied, homeless, abused, etc.- find a positive outlet for their pain. People like _me, _people who'd been through the ringer and came out alive, would share their stories, musically or otherwise, and help connect the kids with counseling services or whatever other resources they needed, while providing them a safe space to talk. It was ambitious, and I _know _that the old me would have completely made fun of the idea, as I'm sure a lot of the teenagers still would, but if we could get some high schools (besides Finn's, since we'd already started a monthly pilot program there, which seemed to be working fairly well) to give us a shot, I was pretty sure we could actually make a difference.

"No working today." Britt came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist. It had been so long since a sudden appearance like that would have terrified me, and I smiled inwardly.

"Nope, absolutely not. Is everyone here?"

"Yeah, Annie is giving them the tour. Quinn just called from Ohio, she says she's sorry she couldn't be here today."

"Well, taking baby Eden to see Grandma Judy _definitely_ takes precedence over our silly moving ceremony." I smiled, thinking of Quinn and her husband Archie's six month old daughter, who they'd adopted from Vietnam. In perhaps the greatest irony of her life, our friend had lost her virginity and gotten pregnant at sixteen, but then had an _extreme_ amount of difficulty conceiving as an adult. Remembering how grateful she was (after she _stopped _going crazy) that Shelby Corcoran had given her daughter a better life, Quinn didn't want to go through the rigamarole of spending months or years going through fertility treatments when there were so many kids out there who needed homes. After an obscene amount of paperwork and a lot of international travel, Eden Hope Chapman had _finally _come home a month ago, and I had _never _seen her mother happier.

"It's not silly, it's cute." She tilted my head back and kissed me. "I like that I've turned you into a sucker for traditions. But c'mon, let's go in the living room, Annie is itching to start handing out keys."

I smiled at that, a true testament to how much I'd grown in the years since I'd first come to New York. Yes, Finn and Rachel had keys to our old apartment, but the only reason I'd given them a set was because I lived alone and Rachel _insisted _that someone be able to check on me (which _was _necessary on more than one occasion, including the night they'd forced Brittany back into my life). This time, we were giving them keys because I truly trusted them, truly knew they were the ones that I wouldn't blink an eye at if they randomly showed up in our kitchen at breakfast time (which they wouldn't, but still). They were our family, and I was no longer ashamed to admit that. Brittany walked back into the living room, checking over her shoulder that I was following, and Annie was standing there, in the middle of her aunt, uncles and Brice talking about how close her '_biggest, amazingest_' house was to the ice cream store on Houston Street.

"_Ven aqui, _Annalise." I told her. "Mama has the presents you want to give out."

"Yay!" She rushed excitedly to Brittany's side and held out her hands. In each, Brittany placed a key with a painstakingly tied yellow ribbon (we were working on shoe tying and Annie sat there for close to an hour, tying and re-tying the bows she _insisted _the keys have because they were gifts) and Annie solemnly placed one in Finn's hand and one in Kurt's. "These are for you, in case of a 'mergency. Even though you don't have any hand magic."

"Hand magic?" Kurt looked at Annie, biting back a laugh and quirking an eyebrow in mine and Brittany's direction.

"Yes, Uncle Kurtsy! Hand magic! Maybe you gotsta bring Auntia Rachel with you, because her hands are the same size as Mamí's."

"Are not." I whispered to Britt with a frown, and she kissed my fingers, knowing I was sensitive to my size being compared to my best friend's.

"It's not about the size, it's about what you do with them." Brittany whispered back, a smirk forming at the corners of her mouth.

"Annie." Finn, who'd heard our side conversation knelt down to Annie's height and couldn't control his chuckle. "Can you explain this magic to us?"

"You use your hands to get inside." She tried to explain, pouting a little at the fact that everyone had started to laugh, not understanding that it really wasn't at her.

"Do either of you care to enlighten us about _what _that means?" Rachel asked, looking between Brittany and me.

"The handprints at the door!" Brittany sputtered out and I buried my head against her chest to keep Annie from seeing how hard I was laughing at our friends' confusion and _beyond _inappropriate thought processes. "One of us needs to put our hand in them for the door to open, so no monsters can get inside. She's _four, _guys, can we _try_ to keep it PG rated around here?"

"This, from _Brittany._" Kurt snickered and I gave him a dirty look.

"Sorry for laughing, Annie." Finn said, easily swinging her into his arms. "We just didn't understand your special monster protection, we don't have that at our house."

"But what if the monsters eat Brice?" She asked, wide eyed.

"No monsters!" Brice screamed, gripping Rachel's legs.

"Don't worry,_ mija_, Aunt Rachel's singing keeps them away." I promised, earning a glare from Rachel and a pinch on my arm from Brittany.

"And your claws don't?" Rachel bit back and I laughed, giving that one to her. We may never have stopped going at each other, but over the years, our words had lost their old venom and simply turned into a way of expressing our love.

* * *

Five hours and four pizzas (I swear, sometimes I really believed that Britt and Annie were having a secret _who can eat the most pizza? _contest, they way they both managed to inhale their slices) later, we finally started kicking everyone out of the house. Brittany and I _both _knew that it was going to take _significantly _longer than usual to get our daughter to sleep in a new environment, and coupled with the ice cream cake Kurt and Blaine had brought, we could be in for a late night if we didn't start early. Bedtime was serious business in the Lopez-Pierce house, since we'd learned when Annie was still very young that lack of sleep turned our normally pleasant and agreeable child into Snix the second, so we didn't even _try _to mess with that

After marking her height on the new door frame with the words '_Move in Day, 8/9/2023' _beside it, and tucking her tap shoes in their place under the bed, we bathed Annie in her Emerald City themed bathroom (I blame Rachel for her goddaughter's full fledged _Wizard of Oz _obsession), she put her own pajamas on and Brittany lifted her up into her new full sized bed. Once both her Dr. Seuss quilt and the blue and white gingham comforter were pulled up around her and Milky Way, Britt and I climbed on either side, snuggling close as Britt read the next chapter of our book. There was something so incredible about the three of us lying there (in a bed where we all actually fit, a far cry from the toddler bed where one of us had to kneel at the side), under the glittering rainbow that had been painted on the wall, and Brittany and I shared a private smile as our daughter's eyes slipped closed. We waited a few minutes before trying to get up, but of course, the minute we moved, tiny blue eyes popped back open.

"Mamí." She mumbled sleepily. "You forgot t'sing me a song."

"What song do you want tonight, _corazóncita_?" I asked, even though I knew she asked for the same song every night.

"**_Mi_**_ cancion-" _A yawn stifled her words as she whispered in sleepy Spanish and let her eyes close again. _"Por favor._"

"Okay." I kissed her forehead and began to sing in almost a whisper, Brittany mouthing the words from her other side.

_Hey child, up and go,_

_Big world is out there waiting for us_

_To live in every day_

_Outside you will find_

_There is love all around you_

_Takes you, makes you wanna say_

_That it's a beautiful life _

_And it's a beautiful world_

_And it's a beautiful time_

_To be here, to be here, to be here_

"Night Milky Way. Night Mama and Mamí." The words were barely audible as she spoke them.

"_Buenos noches. Dulces sueños. Te amo con mi todo corazon._" I whispered, stroking Annie's wispy hair out of her face and kissing her one last time as her breathing fell into a soft, constant rhythm.

"Good night, sweet girl. I love you." Britt added with her own kiss before we got up and slipped out of the room.

* * *

Together, we walked down the hall, still feeling the giddiness that had pervaded our thoughts throughout the whole day. As we walked past the stairs, I clicked the baby gate closed (I still had some neurosis about some things, and Annie falling down a flight of stairs that she didn't remember were there in the middle of the night was one of those things) and looked into the empty room across from them. My wife and I exchanged a glance, knowing the use of the only empty room in the house was a conversation we both wanted to have, and _soon. _But it was a discussion for another night, not the night we were celebrating the _current _life change, and I pulled Brittany into our bedroom. Looking at me, and then at the king sized bed (a big step up from the double bed we'd slept in for the past four years) that we truly convinced each other we needed, despite the fact that we basically slept _on top _of each other every night anyway, Brittany gave me the biggest grin, her eyebrows raised in a silent question.

"You're sure she's sleeping, right?" I asked.

"Yes, one-hundred percent." She swore

"Okay, because if she's _not, _we're going to regret this for a _long _time."

"I know, but she's definitely asleep, come on." Britt nipped my bare shoulder and pressed herself against me, obviously willing to use any and all methods necessary to convince me, and knowing she'd win every single time. "We've been waiting to do this since that day in the store a _month _ago. If you're not going to do it with me, I'll just do it myself."

"Okay, okay. Let's do it." I grinned and my wife kissed me excitedly.

Looking like a kid on Christmas, Brittany climbed up so she was standing on the bed and held out her hand to pull me up. Since the minute we picked out that bed, the two of us, so _incredibly _mature for twenty-eight and twenty-nine, wanted nothing more than to jump up and down on it. Of course, given the fact that Brittany had broken her collar bone doing exactly _that_ in junior high, we had a _major 'No More Monkeys Jumping On the Bed' _rule in our house, and couldn't rightly do it while Annie was awake. Once she was down for the night though, there was _clearly _no stopping our urges, and we stood across from each other, unsteadily waiting for the other to start first. Finally, I grabbed both of her hands in mine, and we started bouncing up and down in tandem, more butterflies forming in my stomach each time I went airborne and each time Brittany stole a kiss from me.

"We have a house, Santana! An actual grown up house! And a huge bed!" Britt nearly shrieked, and giggles (seriously, I'd never giggled more in my life than on our moving day) bubbled out of my mouth.

"I know Britt!" I grabbed her face with both of my hands and kept jumping up and down. "It's like none of it was real until today, when we could actually _sleep _here!"

"I'm so happy right now, I can't even explain it!" She cried, kicking my legs out from under me so I fell into a sitting position on the bed. Before I could open my mouth to complain about her actions, she landed on top of me, straddling my lap and connecting our lips until she earned a loud gasp.

"We so earned this." I breathed against her mouth, and she knew what I meant. The house, the happiness, the life, all of it.

"We did." She smiled into another kiss, temporarily lifting herself up so she could slide both of our shorts off. "And we'll keep working hard every day to maintain that. But tonight, we have some _very _important business to take care of."

"The most important." I mumbled, moving my lips down her neck and forcing her to lift her arms so I could pull off her tank top.

"Even though I could live in a cardboard box with you and _still _be this happy, I love that this is real." She said seriously, as my shirt, the last article of clothing between us, was nearly torn off of me.

"Me too babe." I sighed, my words becoming less coherent as Brittany's fingers touching my bare skin, and the feeling of _her _skin under my fingers began to distract me. "Me. Freaking. Too."

* * *

**End Note: So there you go, new beginnings, new house, and a serious conversation that needs to happen ****_soon_****. The song Santana sings to Annie at bedtime (****_and _****where the title of the story comes from) is Fisher's ****_Beautiful Life._**

**Also, while I have the floor, I'm going to shamelessly plug ishlheard2day's one-shot that ****_totally _****put me in a great mood today! Check out ****_My Kind of Love_****, I ****_promise _****you won't regret it! Brittana forever, right everyone?**


	2. Chapter 2-Life is the Bubbles

**Author's Note: Just want to thank all of you for following and favoriting this story, and slbsp-33, ishlheard2day, Chuckleshan, blueashke, Ig4az, AlabamaMiles, naynay1963, TTalks, StephaniieC, mocblue and the guest reviewer for saying such lovely things! While we're talking about lovely things, I have faith in the Brittana fans to keep it real and spend their time supporting the writers who are still on the S.S. Brittana, because we ALL appreciate the support, rather than wasting time bashing the writers for the other ship, just not worth all the negative energy! There's enough of that out there right now, apparently. I love this fandom, seriously, and will always be glad to be a part of it. Brittana forever, no matter who tries to tell us otherwise! If you want my take on current canon Brittana, feel free to check out ****_Out of the Blue, Uninvited. _****And I promise, I'm putting the soapbox away for a good long time and just ****_writing. _**

* * *

It's funny how quick we adjust to new things. Even Annie, who'd ended up shouting out for Brittany or me in the middle of almost every night of the first few weeks in the new house, and had more than one bout of devastated tears when she couldn't find something because our house was _too big _(luckily, it really _wasn't _and we'd been able to find each and every missing item with relative ease)_,_ was more or less settled in by the last week of August. We'd found a new playground (with a _big, gigantic, super curly slide, _which Annie had insisted on immediately calling Brittany at work to tell her about-and which I followed up with probably a dozen pictures of her sliding down) on Thompson Street. Inevitably, the new playground _also_ came with new, uptight Manhattan moms, who (as I'd become accustomed to by the time the baby turned two) said things like _you're so good with her _and _her parents are so lucky_, before I quietly (so as not to cause a scene, since _I _may have been over what other people assumed, but I didn't want my daughter to hear) let them know that I was her _mother, _not her _nanny. _We found a new Starbucks, where another set of baristas got to have their day made by Annie skipping through the door in her tap shoes and ordering my coffee for me. And most importantly, we mapped a new route to Brittany's studio, and, right around the corner from there, the preschool Annie would be starting in September. Much to _all _of our delights, both places were _much _closer to home than they used to be.

With the last week of August came a much needed vacation for Brittany. Sometimes I felt like it was the month of the year we saw her the _least_, what with preparing for the upcoming semester and training whatever new teachers they'd found. The summer after Annie's first birthday, after big things started happening for her career, my wife made it a point to have her contract revised (seriously, some times I _still _felt such a swell of pride at how she'd come to New York totally unsure of herself, and made herself a _name_, and wasn't afraid to go head to head with Rick, her boss, about the things she wanted) to allow for time off during the weeks that were important to her. Even though Annie hadn't even been out of diapers back then, Brittany had already thought ahead to her childhood, to wanting that week as a family before the craziness of back to school began. Although I'd let a lot of paperwork pile up throughout the month, and although I'd be able to work through it so much quicker with an extra set of adult hands around the house full time, I'd shut the office door to start dinner on Brittany's last day of work, and had no intention of opening it until she went back. _Family first_, it had been a pact we'd made over Thai food back when Brittany had been offered an interim choreographer position when Annie was only months old, and it was a pact we never planned to break.

"Are we there yet?" Annie asked from the back seat of the car, and I glanced at her in the rearview mirror playing with her car seat straps and swinging her legs excitedly.

"Soon." Brittany smiled, answering the same question for the nineteenth time in forty-five minutes.

"If I'm going t'swim in the ocean, we should sing Ariel." She said, her eyebrows rising hopefully and Brittany and I looked at each other and laughed.

Television wasn't really a _thing _in our house, I mean, we _owned _one, we weren't _those _New Yorkers (apparently it was some kind of badge of honor in the city if you didn't have a TV, something I'd never really understood) but Britt and I didn't watch much (she always joked that I was an old lady who loved to talk about _back when TV didn't suck)_, and Annie almost _never _did. But, the last time we'd gone to the beach, over a year earlier, our daughter was _not _having it, the whole situation was entirely too overwhelming for her. We were there about an hour, with Annie clinging to Brittany for dear life at how afraid she was if the ocean in front of her, while I tried every trick we knew to calm her down. Needless to say, we'd left and hadn't been back since. One of our biggest things though, was trying to teach Annie to try new things, and we thought that since she was older this summer, and had matured incredibly, it was worth another shot. When Quinn had asked us if we wanted to go to Long Island with her and Eden for the day, Britt and I had hastily agreed, knowing it was the right time. That was where the TV came into play, I'd found an old Disney sing-along video online with the music from _The Little Mermaid_ (and _not _Ursula the sea witch, which probably would have caused Annie to pack her bags and move in with her grandparents in Ohio to be as far away from the ocean as possible) and the three of us watched together, and learned the songs, Britt and I convincing her that the beach was _awesome _because of mermaids.

"_That's where it's hotter, under the water." _Annie sang-shouted while Britt and I tried to keep up with the speed she was singing and the fact that she rapid-fire switched from song to song until we finally pulled into the parking lot at Jones Beach. "Is Auntia Quinn here yet?"

"Not yet, but her house is much further than ours." Britt explained, unbuckling her while I started dragging our beach bag, cooler, umbrella and eighty-seven different sand toys out of the trunk.

"Can I go on your shoulders, Mamí?" Annie asked, hopping from one foot to the other in anticipation.

"Why don't Mama and I swing you instead?" I asked her, thinking she might do better with both of us flanking her for her first sight of the ocean again.

"Okay!" She shouted and grabbed Brittany's hand while I slung the beach bag over my shoulder and the cooler over my wife's.

With the umbrella and bag of toys secured in our free hands and Annie swinging between us, we made the short walk through the parking lot. Once we'd reached the boardwalk, the ocean was visible, and neither Brittany or I took our eyes off our daughter as she took it in. Honestly, I could _completely _understand why it was so terrifying for someone so small, considering the size and the volume. Brittany and I caught a quick glance at each other and immediately starting singing Annie's favorite verse of the song;_ We've got no troubles, life is the bubbles, under the sea. _Although her eyes were wide, Annie didn't look totally horrified, she was just taking it in slowly, squeezing us both tightly.

"How are you doing, Annie girl?" I asked, keeping my voice low. Without exchanging words, Brittany and I both dropped the bags on the boardwalk and knelt down to her height.

"It's so _big._" She hardly even whispered, awe in her voice.

"Think of all the mermaid grottos they have to fit inside." Brittany told her simply, and I loved how she always just _knew _the answers without trying.

"D'you think we might see one?" Her voice was a little louder.

"You never know, baby. We're going to have to keep our eyes open extra-wide just in case there's another mermaid like Ariel who wants to be part of our world." _I love you_, I mouthed to Brittany after she said that and Annie opened her eyes even wider and tugging at my hand to start walking again.

We walked slowly down through the sand, Annie occasionally letting go of one of our hands to pick up a scallop or clam shell and toss it in to the beach bag. When we finally found a spot that was far enough away from the water and the other people, but close enough for Quinn to get to easily from her car with the baby, we laid out our sheet and towels, while Annie used her shovel to dig a hole for the umbrella, never straying more than three feet from one of us. By the time Annie (and Brittany) were covered in sunblock and I'd pulled my hair into a low ponytail over my right shoulder, my wife and daughter started jumping up and down waving excitedly while Quinn approached with Eden and even _more _stuff than we'd brought. Brittany had the sense to move to help her get situated, but I (very much my mother's daughter sometimes) immediately grabbed Eden from her arms and pressed a kiss to the smiling baby's head.

"You're getting so big, Edie, look at you." I cooed.

"Mamí, you're so silly!" Annie stood on her tiptoes so she could see the baby. "She's still just a _baby._"

"Come here, _mi amor, _sit on the sheet with me so you can see her closer." I held Eden to my chest with one hand while bracing myself to sit with the other, and Annie immediately curled up next to me, her face very close to the small girl in my arms. "When you were the same age as Eden, you were only half this size."

"_Half?_" She looked at me incredulously and I nodded. "That's so _tiny!"_

"Tiny you were." I kissed the top of her head and looked down at Eden who's eyes were glued on Annie. "She's watching you, Annalise, look."

Tentatively, she reached out to touch the baby's foot, and with one eye, I watched Quinn and Brittany stop putting together the sun canopy to look. Gently, as if she were touching glass, Annie moved her finger, tickling Eden and causing her to let out a tiny, squeal-like laugh. When Annie heard the laugh, she broke into a huge smile, then did it again and again until they were _both _laughing, and Britt, Quinn and I watched them with wonder. The two times we'd gone to Quinn's to see Eden, there had been so many strangers around and Annie was too shy around people she didn't know to go up and really see the baby. She had been too small when Brice was born to really show any interest in him, so this was the first time we'd ever seen our sweet, loving girl interact with a baby. It was so incredible to watch how she instinctively knew to be gentle with her. I looked at Brittany, silently saying as much, and the smile on her face made me smile even wider.

"I think she loves me, Auntia Quinn." Annie finally announced, as if it was the simplest thing in the world, and maybe it _was._

"Oh, Annie." Quinn's eyes were teary and I knew exactly how she was feeling. "I think so too."

"Good." She pushed herself up off the sheet and adjusted the yellow and white polka dotted sunglasses that covered half of her face before going to pick up her bucket. "Because I _know _that I love her too."

We spent most of the morning playing in the sand, avoiding the big ocean except when Brittany would suddenly point out that she _'thought she saw a mermaid' _and Annie would look quickly and shake her head with a laugh when she didn't. We built giant sand castles that she relished in stomping on, dug a hole, then when I least expected it, was thrown into it by my wife while she and Annie quickly tossed sand over me, trying to bury me before I could resist. Quinn watched the whole thing in hysterics, looking between us and her own daughter, for the first time in a long time having faith that she'd get to experience what we loved so much. When I'd finally dug myself out from under the sand that had covered me (and then attacked Britt and Annie like I was a sand monster), the three of us collapsed back on the sheet across from Quinn's umbrella chair and I handed out sandwiches. Annie sat dipping her peanut butter sandwich in hummus, and when she held it out to me, I took a bite without even questioning.

"Mmmm, delicious." I told her as Brittany took her bite. "You got a real good dip on that one."

"Is this what I have to look forward to?" Quinn asked.

"I'm _pretty _sure you licked baby vomit off of your arm five minutes ago." I teased her. "You should be looking forward to peanut butter and hummus sandwiches."

"You can have some if ya want." Annie offered and Quinn shook her head.

"It's okay, you share with your moms, they look like they're really enjoying it."

"You know, guys." Britt said when our daughter went back to her dipping. "It still makes me laugh that this is what the Unholy Trinity has become. You two are nice to each other, we are sitting with our kids on the beach, it's really nice."

"It is." I admitted. "You better not raise your kid to act like you used to though, Quinn, because she messes with my kid, it's all over."

"Didn't you hear, Santana, they already love each other." Quinn smirked. "Guess they learned how to do that a lot earlier than us."

"Well, you're lucky Annie got that from Britt, I guess. But I'll tell her the same thing I've told Brice, _hands off until you're thirty_, this Mamí doesn't discriminate against boys or girls coming to steal her baby away."

"And this is why it's lucky this _Mama _knows to distract her wife so the poor kids will stand a chance." Britt pecked my lips, stopping to lick the hummus left on my bottom lip. "_But, _I do agree, no more cross-Glee dating. It's kind of ridiculous how many of us intermarried. You're the only one in New York who didn't, Quinn."

"Yeah, and I'm glad for that." She ran her hand over her sleeping daughter's spiky black hair. "Could you imagine me married to _Puck?"_

"God, no." I almost yelled and Brittany laughed hysterically, pulling me between her legs and gently scratching below my belly button as we looked over at Annie who had moved to lay down on the blanket, sandwich triangle still in hand. "Even when I didn't like Archie, I still was glad you didn't marry Puck."

"May I remind you that you didn't _know _my husband not to like him?" Quinn shook her head with a smile playing at the corners of her mouth.

"Yeah, yeah, details. I like the old guy now."

"Stop calling him old."

"He _is _old, that's like saying not to call Brittany blonde, or you a _B-I-T-C-H." _I shrugged and Britt pinched my thigh, causing me to yelp.

"You deserved it." She ran her fingers over the spot and Quinn stuck out her tongue at me.

"It's also not so insulting when you have to _spell _it. Plus, we've decided the correct title for both of us now is _Recovered B-I-T-C-Hes."_

* * *

After Annie fell asleep and I gently pried her sandwich out from her hand, Quinn went to lay under the sun canopy she'd brought with Eden. I moved Annie to the center of the blanket, and Britt and I lay down on either side of her, our fingers linked above her head. It was those carefree moments that I savored so much, especially after coming out of years of _never _having one. Laying on the beach, with my two favorite girls, the sound of the ocean in front of us, the warmth of the sun on my skin made me forget about finding a loan company that would negotiate decent terms with me, about my nerves over Annie starting school, about the conversation I was _so _nervous to have with Brittany, despite her constant unspoken reminders that she was just as ready as I was, but the ball was in my court. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up, Annie was standing over me waiting for me to open my eyes, and Brittany was beaming from her side of the sheet.

"I'm ready to touch the water now." Annie told me, and I sat up quickly.

"Okay, _mija. _Did Mama put more sunblock on you?" I looked at Britt and she nodded.

"Course, Mamí. We're just waiting for you."

The three of us walked hand in hand down to the water, Annie stopping every few steps, and scrunching up her face, as if she was trying to talk herself into it. When we finally were just a few four-year-old sized steps away, she curled her toes and I squeezed her hand tightly in mine, knowing Britt was doing the same on her other side, reassuring her. She closed her eyes and closed the gap between herself and the edge of the ocean, trusting that neither of her mothers would ever let her go. I felt goosebumps run up my arms, not from my own feet touching the water, but from watching Annie take such a big step without second guessing herself.

"What do you think, sweetheart?" Brittany asked.

"I think." She scrunched up her face again. "I think I'm glad I'm not a mermaid, because the water is too cold."

"It won't be so bad once we get used to it, if you want to stay in." I reassured her, giving her an option either way,

"Okay. I'll try it. Just like when I tried _arroz con pollo _with _'Buela _and now it's my favorite." She decided. Sometimes I just couldn't believe how wise she was, but then I'd look at the woman who was usually holding her other hand and remember.

We'd ended up just standing at the edge for close to an hour, the water never coming above our ankles. It didn't matter, honestly, once our daughter dipped her first toe into the ocean, it was as good as her ducking her head under. When she was finally bored with splashing with her feet, kicking water at mine and Brittany's ankles, Annie reached up her arms for me to pick her up. I cradled her close to me, feeling such overwhelming pride, such overwhelming _hope _that she could take on anything. Maybe that was crazy, it was just toes in the ocean, but I don't think anyone who's never witnessed something like that could even come close to understanding. Brittany wrapped her arms around both of us, and we stood there showering our daughter with so many words of praise.

* * *

It was close to six when we finally packed up, Annie giving Eden a sweet little kiss on her head and telling her that she couldn't wait until she was big so she would have a _girl _to play with. After we'd stopped at Friendly's and had dinner and ice cream, we were on our way back to the city, Brittany and I silent with out own thoughts as Annie sang to herself in the back seat before finally falling asleep. She was still half asleep when we got her into the house and bathed her, carefully scrubbing every last bit of sand out of her hair. It wasn't until we'd tucked her and Milky Way into bed and we watched her sleeping for a few minutes when I knew I was finally ready to talk to Brittany.

"Want to take a bath with me?" I asked her, knowing that for some strange reason, I always had such an easier time with life altering conversations in the bathroom.

"Of course." She wrapped her arms around my neck and I let myself melt into her.

While Brittany ran the bath, dumping a lot of our favorite lavender bubble bath into the tub that was so much bigger than we were used to, I went downstairs and brought up two cups of tea. Britt slipped in first, playfully patting the water between her legs. I placed the two mugs on the bathtub ledge and undressed, fitting myself between my wife's legs and letting her wrap her arms around me, her hands again resting below my belly button. Again, she was silently telling me that she was ready when I was, and I loved that she never pushed me to talk, even when we both knew it was an _exciting _conversation.

"_Wouldn't you think I'm the girl, the girl who has everything?" _I sang to Brittany, smiling that I still had _The Little Mermaid _stuck in my head.

"I think we both are." She pressed her lips against the back of my neck.

"Except one thing." I told her softly, and Brittany pulled me closer to her, anticipating my next words. "I'm ready."

"Are you sure, Santana?" She asked me, always knowing that she could coax my fears out of me.

"Yeah, I'm so positive. I've known for a while, Britt, but I think today, watching Annie with Edie, pushed me to finally be able to say it out loud."

A _baby_, it was the thing we hadn't spoken about in over two years, not since we'd started preparing for an IVF procedure, Brittany giving me shots every night before bed, me going as far as quitting caffeine and taking prenatal vitamins. It was hardly even a discussion about the fact that I'd be the one to carry our second baby. Watching the woman I loved almost _die _of the complications she'd had was only one reason, honestly. The way our kids came into the world didn't matter much to me (I'm sure that's pretty obvious, considering the circumstances of Annie's conception), but there was something I'd probably always felt, this total _desire _to feel a child that Britt and I had created moving underneath my heart.

When I'd brought it up a few months before Annie turned two (I'd read some internet article about two and a half years being the perfect gap between siblings), I'd made arrangements for Annie to spend the night with Quinn and cooked an elaborate dinner, wanting the conversation to be something special. Things had settled down so much in our lives, and I felt like the timing made as much sense as any. Of course, we'd made it through about three bites of spinach and walnut salad before I'd blurted out _let's have another baby_, and Britt jumped into my arms excitedly, kissing me all over and dragging me into the bedroom, showing me how she'd get me pregnant if she could. We'd made an appointment with Dr. Singh, the OBGYN who'd delivered Annie, the woman who I trusted with everything in me after she'd saved the lives of the two most important people in the world for the next few weeks, and I felt like I was on top of the world.

Then, after having my eggs extracted, and just about completing the first hormone cycle, my body completely prepared to carry a child and my head a swirl of crazy hormonal feelings, we'd met with the Early Intervention specialists about Annie and I'd completely _panicked _about the idea of having another baby. In a matter of a few moments, I'd gone from the woman who was ready to take on everything all at once, to the woman who wanted to drop everything and just spend every moment I had making things better for the daughter I already _had_. I _never _lost it over finding out that Annie would need extra help, but the thought of making such a major life change at the same time sent me into a tailspin. After two sob filled nights, on both mine and Brittany's part, and her constant reassurance that we'd do whatever I felt comfortable with, we cancelled the implantation appointment, choosing to freeze the embryos and discuss it again when it seemed like a feasible option.

Once we bought the house, Brittany and I never really had a discussion about the third bedroom on the second floor, we just silently left it empty, both knowing that Annie was doing well, she was starting school, and despite the fact that I was working diligently toward getting my organization up and running, I could do _that _while carrying the baby that we so desperately wanted. Even if we hadn't discussed it, the thought was always there, in the glances we'd exchanged every time we saw a baby, or every time someone asked when we were going to have another, the thought about when it would finally be a _feasible option _to complete our family.

"Honey." I could hear the happy tears in her eyes as she buried her head in my neck from behind. "I love you so much."

"I know. I love you too." I sighed into her touch.

"Are you scared?"

"Terrified, Britt." I admitted. "But not in a bad way, I don't even know how to explain it. The thought of having _our _baby growing inside of me, having another kid to love so much, a brother or sister for Annie, is like the most exciting thing I can think of. But it's also scary, the trying, the waiting, you know? But I'm not going to freak out this time."

"San, you had every right to freak out last time. _I _was freaking out, and I was so _relieved _when you made the decision that you did. I think we _thought _we were ready last time, and we really weren't, even before everything happened with Annie. But this feels different, even this conversation, like so much more natural, more _us._"

"Of course." I let out a small laugh as she ran her hands over my belly, picturing, I knew, what it would be like when there was something growing inside. "It's because we're in the damn bathroom. Looks like we're keeping the tradition, even in the new house."

"Yeah, well, we've been doing it since we were sixteen, why would it be any different now?"

I rested my hands over Brittany's where they'd fallen and was just so content to lie with her. It felt like a weight was lifted off of me, like by just talking, without even _doing _anything, we were setting something major in motion. I closed my eyes and we didn't move for a while, didn't even say anything. We'd discuss the logistics later, make an appointment later, but we were _doing it_, the fact that we'd spoken the words made it official, even before the shots and the implantation, the waiting for pregnancy test results. I couldn't imagine a happier feeling, being in my wife's arms, after a day where we'd watched our daughter accomplish something so small for some people, but so big for _her_, and knowing that sometime soon, we were going to have _another _baby, which, as impossible as it felt, knowing the extent of the love we felt for Annie, we would love just as much.

* * *

**End Note: Lots more of just Brittana next chapter, but I needed lots and lots of Annie to make me smile, hope she makes you all smile too! The two songs are ****_Under the Sea _****and ****_Part of Your World, _****from ****_The Little Mermaid._**


	3. Chapter 3-Wardrobe Malfunctions

**Author's Note: Thank you rain, for giving me absolutely nothing to do today besides sit and write a new chapter. Yay-ish? Anyway, thanks for the follows and favorites, and thanks to Chucklesan, ishlheard2day, Ig4az, AlabamaMiles, ruby-may89, mocblue, naynay1963 and StephaniieC for your reviews. **

* * *

Like it always did, Brittany's vacation went _entirely _too fast. I was glad that we'd decided not to visit our parents in Lima, only for the reason that with all we had to do to prepare Annie to start school, it just would have been too much. Instead, we took day trips to the Bronx Zoo (Annie was in _love _with the Butterfly Garden and the fact that they _always _landed on her blonde head and the brightly colored dresses we'd put her in), to picnic in Central Park, to Jane's Carousel in Brooklyn with the Hudsons (where she and Brice shrieked with joy each time they picked a new horse to ride), and to anywhere we could soak up the last bits of summer sun. In between all of that, the three of us walked past Annie's school every single morning, went shopping for new clothes (as small as she was, she _always _seemed to be growing out of things) and a unicorn backpack, and read every book from _The Kissing Hand _to _I Am Absolutely Too Small For School_ to get her excited.

On the morning of the big day, I wasn't sure _who _was more nervous, but I was doing my absolute best to just keep myself together. Following the advice that Brittany and I had extensively read on the internet, I sat on our bed tucking three photos in her backpack, one of Britt and me kissing her cheeks with popsicle sticky lips in the Pierce's backyard on the Fourth of July, a copy of the first picture that had ever been taken of the three of us, back in the NICU, that was framed on the nightstand in both of our rooms, and one of Milky Way sitting on Annie's bed wearing her tap shoes, waiting for her to come home, which Brittany had taken the day before. We'd also each drawn a picture for her, with the words we'd taught her to recognize in print very young, Britt's saying _I love you, _and mine saying _Te amo. _That way, if she felt scared or homesick, she could easily see reminders of us and calm herself down. Apparently it had been helpful for a lot of kids, so we were willing to give it a shot. As I finished zipping up the bag with every piece of emergency contact information that the school could ever need, including our parents addresses and phone numbers back in Ohio (despite the fact that the school _definitely _had all of that information on file already), Britt walked into the room with Annie clinging to her leg, wearing her tights and shoes but no dress.

"What happened to your dress, _mija?_" I asked, looking at the tears welling up in her little blue eyes.

"It got toothpaste on it." She covered her face with her hands and I slid off the bed to kneel down in front of her, gently pulling back her hands so she'd look at me.

"_Cálmate_, Annalise. It's okay." I soothed, squeezing her hands to try to keep her from getting hysterical. "We can go pick out another new dress."

"But I wanted t'wear that one, Mamí." She cried, wrapping her arms around me and burying her face in my chest. I hugged her close to me and looked up at Brittany, who looked like _she _was going to cry and tried to think of some kind of solution. We both knew it wasn't _really _about the dress, but hopefully if we could fix _one _situation, she wouldn't be overwhelmed by the other _bigger _situation.

"Wait. I might have an idea." Brittany brightened, and walked over to our dresser, digging through the drawers, trying to find something. It took her a few minutes, and I rubbed Annie's back, singing softly into her ear, _some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you're born, the loveliest of all was the unicorn,_ until my wife came back to us holding one of her winter hats. I raised an eyebrow at her, trying to figure out _how _exactly that was going to help, but had full faith that she had a plan. When she started unpinning the white flower that was attached, I wanted to jump up and kiss her for thwarting disaster. Once she'd pinned it over the stain on the blue dress, she knelt down beside us and rested her hand over Annie's French braids. "Sweetheart, look."

"Mama." She sniffled, still hugging me with one arm, but reaching out to touch the flower with the other. "You _fixed _my beautiful dress. And now it's even _more _beautiful."

Once the crisis had passed and she'd wiped her face on my shirt and re-dressed, Brittany helped her slip her backpack up over our shoulders. While she climbed up on her bed to kiss Milky Way goodbye one last time, I wrapped my arm around Britt and rested my head on her shoulder. She squeezed me, trying as hard as I was to keep herself from getting emotional and leaned down to quickly catch my lips with hers. Annie got back down off the bed and smiled brightly at us, opening her arms for hugs. After a few more minutes in the house and some final words of reassurance, we walked to school, Annie swinging between us with her brave face on. She wanted _so _badly not to feel afraid, and she was trying to let her excitement overtake the fear.

* * *

Standing outside of the school, we watched some of the other kids walk in, before our daughter looked between us, silently saying that she was ready too. Her class, the Green Mallards, had their space in the back of the first floor and I could see Annie fighting with herself not to hide behind us among the throng of people in the small space. At the door, her teacher, Miss Callie, the woman Annie had met twice over the summer, stood with a big smile on her face. We'd done our research well, knowing that _this _was the best place for Annie, knowing that her _teacher _was the best, and I smiled as Callie got down to our daughter's level. Brittany and I had met with her on our own as well, filling her in on some of Annie's challenges, and she'd _promised _us that she'd experienced them before and was confident that she could help make this an easy transition for our baby.

"Good morning, Annie. I love your dress." Callie said softly, making sure to keep enough distance so as not to make her nervous. Annie hesitated a moment, a blush creeping to her cheeks, before she gave her teacher a tentative smile.

"Thank you." She said in almost a whisper. "Mamí picked it out, and Mama gave me this flower."

"That's very special. Do you want to come inside and see where your cubby is?" Annie looked up at both of us, and Britt and I were both nodding our encouragement.

"Okay." She squeezed our hands tighter and Callie stood up to lead us in.

Inside the classroom, I looked around, unconsciously rechecking that it was up to my standards. The walls of the green room were adorned with pictures of all the kids in the class, including the one we'd sent of Annie eating ice cream on Rachel's stoop, and fall leaves hung from the ceiling. There were blocks, crayons, dress up clothes, books, and even a play kitchen in one corner. It looked clean, safe and happy, and there was _nothing _I could nitpick about. When we reached the cubbies, Annie's teacher backed away to give us some space to say goodbye, and I couldn't _believe _how hard this was becoming for me. Carefully, I hung up her backpack and sweater while Brittany smoothed her dress and tickled her belly, causing her to release a nervous giggle.

"I wish _I _could go to school here." Brittany told Annie as I knelt down beside them.

"It's extra _super_ colorful." She looked around the room. "Like a big rainbow."

"That it is." Britt nodded, beaming at her. "Are you ready to go sit on the rug?"

"I dunno." She chewed on her bottom lip nervously, reaching out to me with the hand that wasn't clinging to Brittany's shirt.

"_Tu vas a hacer genial." _I promised, kissing her palm, just like in _The Kissing Hand._ "_Te lo prometo, cariña."_

"Will you come back?" Annie held tight to my arm, eyes fearful.

"Oh, baby." Brittany spoke, seeing that I was struggling to keep the tears from welling up in my eyes. "Of course we'll come back, as soon as school is over."

"Okay." She whispered, nodding slowly. "I can go sit now."

Brittany and I both wrapped our daughter in a hug, kissing her all over her face and telling her over and over again how much we loved her and how proud we were of her. When we stood up, she slowly began to make her way over to the circle that was forming on the rug. After making it halfway there, she turned around and came back to us, needing another hug before she could do it. I picked her up, using my thumb to brush the tears from under her eyes, and holding her tightly before handing her over to Britt. Once she was set back down on the floor, she smoothed her dress on her own, and looked at us one last time. Brittany and I touched our hands to our hearts, and our daughter followed suit, the silent promise we always made, _even when we're apart, I'm still holding you in here._

As Annie settled herself on the rug, finding the space right next to Callie, the only person in the room who was nota _complete_ stranger, we started to back out of the classroom. Through the glass windows, next to other parents (and unfortunately, a disproportionate number of nannies, I just couldn't imagine being so busy that you couldn't take your child to the _first day of school_), we watched our baby girl for a few more moments, my heart both soaring and clenching at the same time as a small smile graced her face. At that, I let a few tears slip out of my eyes before quickly wiping them away. By the time we made it out of the building and out onto the sidewalk, all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around Brittany. Before I could make the move, she did, her own tears still in her eyes, and we stood there, hugging tightly.

"She did really great." I could hear the emotion in my wife's voice as I pressed my lips against her neck, where my head was buried.

"I'm _so _proud of her. And so glad that _you _averted the potential dress disaster this morning." I mumbled into Brittany's hair, still not letting go. "I'll walk you to work."

"I'm not going in today." She told me, lifting up my chin so I was looking in her eyes. "I told Rick that I wasn't sure how it was going to go, and I figured _someone _might need me more."

"Well." I scrunched up my nose and then let a smile come to my lips. "I'll be honest, I probably would have spent all day _not _working and worrying about her, so while I'm _always _thrilled to spend the day with you, I'm _extra _thrilled today."

"Good, because I was hoping I could take my beautiful wife out on a date this morning." Her fingers brushed over my stomach before she entwined them with mine. "Spend some time just the two of us, before we have someone else to share the time with."

"Of course I'll go on a date with you." I grinned, playing with the fingers of her free hand. "And let's get the baby in here first before they're already out and spending time with us."

"I can't wait. You're going to be the hottest pregnant lady ever."

"I'm not sure about _that, _B. I _do _have some pretty stiff competition." I thought back to when _she _was pregnant and I didn't even want to keep my hands off of her.

"That's true, Rachel was_ crazy_ hot when she was pregnant." Britt winked.

"Oh yeah, so super hot. The pregnancy acne and her nose swollen to twice it's normal size _definitely _gave me tingles in my lady parts." I rolled my eyes playfully and gave her a quick kiss.

"Don't worry, even if your whole _body _swells to twice it's size and you turn green, I'll _still _think you're the hottest, and I'll _still _get tingles in _my _lady parts for you."

"Well _that _thought is comforting, sort of, I guess. Only for our kids would I sacrifice my supreme hotness and actually be _happy _about it."

"One of the _many _reasons I love you so much more all the time."

After finally removing ourselves from our weird stakeout-esque position across from Annie's school, Brittany led me to the diner on Waverly where we'd had so many impromptu breakfast dates over the years. I smiled like a huge dork as she opened the door for me and pulled out my chair at our usual table in the back, loving that even after years of marriage, she still liked to make a big deal about even the simplest of dates. When she sat down across from me, she immediately hooked her ankle with mine and made an exaggerated kiss blowing gesture.

"You're so good to me." I told her, as both of us put our phones down on the table where we could see them, just in case. "Thank you for staying with me today. I swear, I feel like I'm just one big ball of emotions."

"Well, your mini sidekick left you for the first time, but don't forget who was your _original _sidekick."

"Oh trust me, _that _I could never forget."

"Remember our first day of high school?" She asked, and I closed my eyes, thinking back so many years.

* * *

_The rain hadn't stopped in the week leading up to my first week at McKinley. Because Sue Sylvester was insane and made the Cheerios practice four hours a day for half the month of August, outside, regardless of the weather, I felt like the wetness had soaked into my bones. But I didn't care, as I sat in my mom's car while she drove me to school, I was so _**_excited _**_(which I'd never admit to anyone) to be wearing my brand new red and white uniform. I'd probably ironed it seventeen times, waiting for the day that I could finally put it on and feel like I was on top of the world. That's what had mattered to me, more than anything, during those days, turning heads, impressing people with my _**_status._**

_It didn't take long once I walked through the doors, covering myself with the gigantic umbrella I'd snatched out of my father's office closet, before I found Brittany. She was standing at her locker, the one she'd chosen at Freshman Orientation to be close to mine, with soaking wet hair and an even wetter uniform. Her eyes looked conflicted as they met mine, and I felt this strange sadness that I'd never felt when thinking about someone else. Immediately, I went over to her, trying to play it cool as my eyes shifted to the people around me who were looking at her and I for two completely different reasons. When I was standing across from her, she stuck out her bottom lip, and I reached out, against my best judgement, to wipe a strand of hair out of her face._

_"Hey Britt-Britt." I said quietly, shooting daggers with my eyes at anyone who looked us, letting them know that our uniforms made us _**_untouchable. _**_"What's wrong?"_

_"I didn't really think this through." She gestured down to her uniform. "I'm all wet."_

_"What happened to your umbrella?" _

_"I didn't bring it. I don't want them to make fun of me again, San." She looked down, her pout getting bigger, and I shifted my weight from foot to foot, feeling uncomfortable with the emotions I was feeling._

_"Come with me, B." I linked my pinky with hers and dragged her into the Cheerios locker room._

_While Brittany sat down on the bench, I dug through my backpack until I found a safety pin. I was pretty sure Britt wasn't going to like what I was about to do, but I didn't really care, I knew she'd be happy with the end result. Once I'd twisted the pin, she watched me closely as I walked over to the locked uniform closet, pulled the handle roughly towards me and stuck the pin into the lock, fiddling with it until it had loosened up. I twisted hard, pulled again and felt the lock pop open. With a satisfied smirk on my face, flipped through the uniforms that were hanging there until I found one that was the right size. When I turned around with it in my hands, Brittany was shaking her head but smiling at the same time._

_"Here, change into this. And give me the one you're wearing so I can hide it. Sue will _**_kill _**_us if we get caught."_

_"She still wants to kill us from _**_two years ago._**_" She let out a small laugh._

_"That one was _**_all _**_you. C'mon, hurry up so we can fix your hair before Spanish class. I hear the teacher is a _**_major _**_tool."_

_I wasn't sure, back then, why I felt the need to swallow thickly as Britt stripped down to her polka dotted bra and panties, the muscles in her abdomen rippling as she laughed at the jokes I was trying to make to keep from feeling uncomfortable. We'd changed in front of each other a million times, so it didn't really make sense that it suddenly felt weird. I quickly crossed my legs, trying to look away without making the entire situation awkward. When she finally was dressed (it felt like _**_forever_**_), she sat back down on the bench next to me and I stood quickly, grabbing some paper towels and trying her hair. While trying to touch as little of her as possible, I quickly pulled her hair back up into a high pony. When I was finished, I silently started digging through my backpack before I pulled out a box and awkwardly handed it to Brittany._

_"I got you something." I mumbled._

_"What is it?" She asked excitedly._

_"Why don't you open it and find out?" I laughed, glad that some of the awkwardness was leaving my body as Brittany bounced up and down on the bench._

_When she finally pulled the lid off the box, I felt another weird pull in my stomach as her face lit up and she pulled out the two silver bracelets that were inside. Holding them up, she showed all of her teeth with how wide her smile was and she leaned over and pulled me into a tight hug, causing my body to heat right back up again._

_"These are so super awesome, Santana!" She beamed. "But why did you get me two of the same bracelet?"_

_"Well, I, um, thought we could both wear one, you know? Since we're like the two hottest bitches in this place."_

_"You want to match with me?" Her smile got even wider, which I didn't think was possible._

_"Yeah, of course I do, B. You're my best friend. And then you don't have to worry that _**_anyone _**_will mess with you, because they'll know if they so much as _**_try_**_, they'll become intimately acquainted with the razor blades in my hair."_

_"You're the best!" She jumped up and started clasping the bracelet onto her wrist. "I love you!"_

_"I love you too." I told her, but even though we'd said it to each other thousands of times before, that was the first time it felt different to me, and I couldn't quite figure out why._

_"Wait, just one thing. I don't want to, like, get arrested or anything for possessing stolen goods..." She trailed off._

_"Don't worry, I didn't steal them. Well, I used my dad's credit card, so maybe sort of, but he won't care."_

_She kissed my cheek with another laugh, and dragged me up off the bench by my pinky. With them linked together, we walked out of the locker room and back into the hallways of McKinley. I brushed aside the funny feeling in my stomach and gave a cocky smirk to anyone who looked at us, letting them know that Brittany was my girl (although I had _**_no _**_idea then how the meaning of that would change) and that it may have been our first day, but we were going to _**_own _**_that place._

* * *

"I guess wardrobe malfunctions on the first day of school are shaping up to be a family tradition." Britt covered her hand with mine on the table and I gave her a loving look.

"That's the first thing I thought of when I saw Annie's face about her dress this morning. It was like looking right at you that day."

"She's going to be okay, you know."

"I know. She's our little unicorn baby. Even if I worry about her, I'll never stop believing that she'll do amazing things, just like _you._"

"Like _us_." She corrected with a soft smile.

"But we can still have ice cream for breakfast, right?"

"_You _are asking _me_ that question?" Brittany laughed. "Of course we can, it's totally allowed. As long as we eat it on waffles, it still counts as breakfast."

We sat there in relative silence, just savoring each others' company and occasionally sharing bites of our breakfast, her waffles with strawberry ice cream, and mine with vanilla. When we finished and Brittany grabbed the check off the table (which I always thought was so cute, because our money was all the same anyway), we walked out of the diner hand in hand. She led me towards Washington Square Park, and we walked around in circles, stopping occasionally just to look at each other. Finally, we picked a bench in a quiet corner and sat down together, both of our hands resting on Brittany's thigh.

"Want to call Dr. Singh?" I asked, having decided the night we'd first discussed Baby L-P number two that we would wait until after we got Annie off to her first day of school before we started worrying about doctor's appointments.

"Do you even have to ask?" Britt chirped excitedly. "Of course I do."

"Okay." I took a deep breath, calming the butterflies in my stomach before dialing the phone.

Brittany pressed her head up against mine as I held the phone in between our ears, flipping through our synced calendar on her iPhone. While the receptionist put us on hold to check appointment dates, I gripped Britt's free hand tightly, letting her pull it to rest over her heart. When the chipper woman on the other end finally came back on the line, offering us a 9:30am appointment on September 16th, the following Wednesday and Brittany nodded confirmation to me, I could hardly find my voice as I accepted the appointment. There was something so breathtaking about knowing that we were starting this again, that this time, no matter how much time it took, we'd end with another baby. When I hung up, my wife squealed a little bit and kissed me hard on the mouth, letting our excitement mingle together.

"We have like two hours." She breathed into my ear. "Want to go home?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

It took us about three minutes to get from the park to our house at the speed we ended up walking, as if it had been months without having sex instead of half a day. It was the first time that we'd been alone in the new house, and as soon as Brittany pulled me through the door, she pushed me up against the coat closet and attacked me with her kisses. I pulled back, grabbing the hem of her shirt and pulling it over her head and running my hands over her bare skin. She rested her hands on the back of my thighs and lifted me up so I'd wrap my legs around her waist and she kissed my chest over the cloth of the dress I was wearing.

"Bedroom." I told her, breathing heavily and she shook her head.

"We've christened that room a million times already." She said as she slid her hands under my dress. "Office."

While she carried me into the office, I dropped my head to kiss the top of her breasts that peeked out from her bra. Removing one of the hands that clung to the back of her neck, I flicked the front clasp open and nipped my way down before taking her right nipple in my mouth and massaging the other with my free hand. Brittany's low moan vibrated against me and she arched back. Just as I was about to pull my lips away to tell her to put me down before we fell, she dropped me down on the office desk. I could feel her fingers working the ties of my panties, quickly ripping them away from my body before hiking my dress up so I was exposed to her. Slowly, she scratched her nails up the inside of my thighs and I switched breasts, silently willing her to touch me more.

"I love you." I whispered against her skin, and she pulled back slightly, tilting my head up so she could kiss me again.

Before I could do anything else, she dropped down into the desk chair, sliding it forward so her head was between my knees. She gave me a satisfied smirk before kissing the inside of my thighs, starting just above my knees. As she moved further up, the light kisses turned harder until she was sucking and biting the skin, leaving what I knew would be a trail of bruises in her wake. At one particularly hard bite, I pulled Brittany's hairband out, wanting to lace my fingers in her long blonde hair. She looked up at me again and I smiled down at her, knowing that watching her between my legs was my favorite sight in the world.

"Fuck. Britt." I gasped out as she spread my legs further and placed the softest of kisses between my thighs.

Once her lips made the first contact, she wasted no time diving in completely, licking and sucking until I was a shuddering, shaking mess above her. I knew I was close, and my hands involuntarily pushed her further into me. My thighs clenched and Brittany lifted her head, replacing her mouth with her fingers as she dragged me down to straddle her on the chair. She knew that I loved nothing more than to be held as I came, and she pressed her lips against mine as her fingers curled inside of me.

"You look so beautiful like this." She spoke into the kiss, her voice rough, and a flick of her thumb sent me over the edge in a cloud of stars.

"Oh. God." I sighed, not breaking our kiss as I came back down.

Taking only a moment to regain my composure, I hardly lifted my body that was heaving against hers, but still managed to get her sweatpants down past her knees. Her heat, so much more intense now that nothing separated us, radiated up into me, and I felt another twinge of arousal shoot through me. My left hand snaked in between our bodies, feeling how wet she was, how ready, and I let out my own moan at the feeling. My forehead rested against hers, our eyes level as I worked her up quickly, wanting nothing more than to see my _second _favorite sight, her sapphire eyes as she came. With Brittany's bare chest pressed against mine that was still clothed, her heartbeat thumped in time with mine, both getting faster and faster by the moment. Her hips bucked up, forcing my fingers further inside of her and my back into the desk. My name fell from her lips, almost like a reverent prayer, and I kissed her, still not breaking our eye contact as her fingers gripped my back, her final moan escaping and her head falling back on the headrest of the chair.

"Ugh. I love this office." She sighed out, wrapping her arms back around my neck and pulling my head to rest in the crook of her neck.

"I love _this._" I replied to her, and she knew what I meant, that amazing, post-orgasmic haze, where I felt like our bodies just melted together.

"Yeah babe, me too."

* * *

After showering (separately, because honestly, I felt like the excitement of scheduling a baby making appointment made it impossible for me to keep my hands off of Brittany) we both got re-dressed and ready to leave to pick up Annie at school. Thinking she may need him to calm whatever residual stress she had from school, I tucked Milky Way into my purse and Brittany and I started our walk back over to the school. We waited outside until 12:45 (we _may _have been there a half hour early) when the doors opened, and Britt smiled and touched my arm so I didn't start pushing through the other parents to get to our daughter quicker. When we got to the classroom, Annie was standing quietly on her tiptoes, definitely the shortest in the class by several inches and when she saw our faces, she lit up like the sun. She ran toward us, not sure who to hug first, and Brittany scooped her up, bringing her close to me so she could wrap her arms around both of us.

"Hi, _mi amor_." I said softly, breathing in her smell and she was silent, just hugging us tightly.

"How was your day, baby girl?" Britt asked as she waved goodbye to Callie and I smiled politely at some of the other parents.

"It was okay, Mama." She whispered, and I could hear her voice break slightly. "I colored pictures and played with PlayDoh."

"That's so great, sweetheart. Did you like it?"

She didn't answer, just shrugged against us. Brittany silently transferred her into my arms as she knelt down to take her backpack and sweater out from her cubby. Annie buried my head in my neck and I rocked her gently as Britt ushered us out to the street. When we reached the corner of Greenwich Avenue, Annie finally lifted her head up and looked into my eyes. I swallowed hard, hating to see her look so conflicted, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead.

"Mamí." She sighed. "I think I want to stay home with you, 'stead of going back to school."

"Oh, _mija, _I know. I missed having you home with me today too. But tomorrow, we get to spend the whole day together, and then we'll try again on Wednesday."

"But why do I have to go?" She asked, her eyes glistening with the tears she was trying not to shed.

"Annie." Britt stopped walking and took her small hand between hers. "I know school feels scary at first, but I _promise _you, you're going to have so much fun."

"But how d'you know, Mama?"

"I know, because school was scary for me too. But do you know what? Someone very, _very _smart made me realize how much fun it was."

"Who?" She asked, and Britt caught my eye, giving me a soft smile.

"Your Mamí. She gave me a present once, so I'd know that she was always protecting me, even when she couldn't be near me." Britt kissed the inside of Annie's palm and reached into her bag without looking, pulling out one of the bracelets that had been safely tucked in our jewelry box. "I think it's your turn to have her special present."

Carefully, Brittany clasped the bracelet on Annie's arm, connecting it through one of the lower links, rather than the original hook so it wouldn't slip off. My own eyes filled with tears as our daughter looked down at the charm bracelet that now adorned her wrist, gently touching the unicorn horn and the lizard that hung down. A bigger smile than I'd seen all day appeared on her face as she looked between the two of us. I could feel her heartbeat start to slow down against my chest, and I squeezed Brittany's hand that rested over Annie's.

"Mamí has one just like it, and since you have mine, whenever you feel sad or scared, you can look at it and know that one of us is always thinking about you and protecting you."

"I promise you, my Annie, that you're going to love school too." I swallowed all of the overwhelming emotions I felt at Brittany giving our daughter her bracelet, at the emotions I felt over the entire idea that she'd even started school. "School is where I realized I loved Mama, where we both met your aunts and uncles. And you'll meet people who will be very special to you too."

"It's just like the ocean." Britt added. "It takes just a little time to get used to, but once you do, it will be _so _much fun."

"Okay." Annie said, after staring down at her new bracelet for a few minutes. "I can try again."

"That's great." I rubbed my nose against hers. "Now why don't we go have a special lunch at Max Brenner, and you can tell us all of the things you _did _like about school?"

Annie nodded excitedly, glad we were taking her to her _favorite _place in the world, and I felt Brittany's hand rest on the small of my back as we started walking up there. It was going to take her time, we knew that, but I was so grateful she was only going three days a week, and even _more _grateful that Brittany _may _have come up with her most genius idea yet. Our daughter didn't stop touching her bracelet as she snuggled close to me, and I couldn't stop looking over at my wife. My wife, the amazing woman who always made sense of things that I couldn't, the woman who I loved with my whole heart, and who I was going to have another amazing baby with.


	4. Chapter 4-Happy is Bigger Than Scared

**Author's Note: Some of this chapter has existed in my head since right after Annie was born, and I'm ****_extremely _****excited to finally be able to write it down! Hope you all enjoy! And thank you much to naynay1963, Brittana4Life3, ishlhead2day, ruby-may89, AlabamaMiles, Chuckleshan, Blueskkies, mocblue, SnixBr, StephaniieC, lg4az, pictureofsuccess and the Anonymous reviewer.**

**To answer two questions, yes, there will definitely be some more high school flashbacks as time goes on, and a lot of what I write comes from things I've experienced in one way or another.**

* * *

Sitting in the office on Friday morning, attempting to finish the last pages of my latest grant proposal, I couldn't have been happier that the weekend was finally upon us. Brittany and I had dropped Annie off at school for the third day, each morning getting just a_ little _bit easier than the last, and I'd walked my wife to work before slowly making my way back home. The quiet in the house was the _strangest _thing for me to get used to, especially because even when I was alone in our old apartment (which was very rare), there was the noise of our neighbors. Before I was able to sit down and actually get any work done, I'd plugged my iPod into our sound system (seriously, having music wired through our entire house was probably the _best _decision we could have made) so I could vacuum, clean the bathrooms and make up both the bed in the guest room and the Murphy bed in the office. While I got the house prepared for company (both of our mothers were coming from Ohio, their special treat to Annie for making it through her first week of school), I danced around and sang to a cheesy old Kelly Clarkson album, physically releasing the tension that my pesky mother's instinct had been causing me the entire week.

Once all of that was done, and I finally felt like I could remember my own _name _again, I had the time for two hours of solid, uninterrupted work. I knew that having that was a temporary luxury, especially since I had _no _idea how long it would take me to get pregnant (the reason we'd decided on IVF was that the odds were the highest on the first attempt, but still) and once I _was, _there was no telling how I'd feel for the duration of it. Time wasn't a luxury I could squander, not if I wanted the still unnamed project to be up and running, with other volunteers who could tell their stories, and accepted into schools before I had _another _more important project on my hands. It seemed like I'd hardly sat down at the computer before the doorbell was ringing and I was closing the laptop again, tucking the two remaining application pages into their file folder. My mother and Susan both threw their arms around me the moment I opened the door (it was _still _slightly strange to me that my mother had become a hugger, but I guess the same could be said about me), immediately marveling over finally seeing the house in it's finished form. I savored their embrace, always so glad when they made the trip, and especially glad that my daughter, who'd had such a challenging week, was beside herself with excitement over her Grammy and her _'Buela _coming with me to pick her up at school.

"I'm so glad you're here." I told them both when we'd finally broken apart and made it out of the foyer and into the living room.

"Sweetheart, we wouldn't miss spoiling Annie this weekend for the world. Right Mari?" Susan smiled at my mother and I shook my head as I looked down at their suitcases, sure that _at least _one was filled entirely with gifts for Annie.

"No use, _mija._" My mother laughed. " A head shake is not going to keep either of us out of the toy store. Or your fathers."

"Still worth a shot. Come on, leave everything here and we'll head over to school now. Neither Britt _or _Annie will forgive me if I give you the tour without them."

* * *

While the three of us walked together toward the school, I filled them in on how Annie was doing. One of the most interesting things about my daughter, at least to me, was that she literally oozed personality, but only if you really knew her. She tried, so hard, to take to strangers, but she was timid in her own way, finding it so difficult to contain the emotions that bubbled up with in her that she ended up shutting down completely. I think that she actually _did _like school, at least the activities there, but being around so many other kids overwhelmed her. Callie had spoken to Brittany and I on the phone for a fairly long time after the second day, letting us know that intellectually, she surpassed the others in her class, but that she'd yet to speak to any of the other children. Instead, she was content to color, flip through books (she could already sight-read several dozen words) and sing along to the songs they did during circle time. When I walked into the classroom, my mom and Susan following a few steps behind, Annie was sitting on the rug, legs folded beneath her, the bounce of her knees giving away her impatience as she waited for me to pick her up.

"Mamí!" Annie cried out, tearing off of the rug and jumping up into my arms the moment she saw me.

"Hi, _mija._" I hugged her tightly. "Look who's here."

"Grammy! _'Buela_!" She reached out her little hands to grab theirs, but didn't unwrap her legs from around my waist. "You came!"

"Of course we did." Susan kissed her forehead. "You have so many new things to show us, a new house, a new school, a new park. We couldn't wait any longer."

"Annie." I whispered, gently reminding her of her manners. "Why don't you go give Grammy and _'Buela _their big _thanks for coming to New York _hugs. and show them around your classroom before we go wait for Mama at the park."

"Okay." She rested her head on my shoulder for another moment of closeness and I kissed her nose before putting her down.

With a spring in her step, Annie hugged each of her grandmothers in turn before grabbing a big hand with each of her little ones and leading them over to the vast array of books in one corner. As I moved over to take Annie's things out of the cubby, I kept my eyes on the three of them, smiling as my daughter's internal sunshine lit up her face while she pointed out her picture on the wall and spelled the name underneath it, _A-N-N-I-E, _and the two women who meant the world to her praised her profusely. I pulled the stack of drawings out of the bin on top of her cubby, each one marked with the same shaky letters that she'd just recited out loud, and I flipped through, glad we had an attic in the house, since I didn't think I could ever bear to throw out _anything _she made. There were pictures of Annie with me and Britt, hands drawn over each other, a four year old's best depiction of a hand hold, one of our yellow house, several of Dorothy in her ruby slippers, and my favorite, one of a dark haired boy and a blonde girl, so obviously Annie and her _Bricey_, lying in the grass. I made a mental note to take a picture of it to send to Rachel later, and turned around to see Callie standing behind me, the rest of the parents having already cleared out of the room.

"Hey, Callie. How was today?" I asked, eyebrows raised hopefully.

"A little better. She was building blocks right beside two of the boys who were making a castle together. When one of them was looking for a triangle block, she reached right out and handed one to him. Annie _wants _to play with the other kids, she's just not ready to take that step yet."

"Is there anything specific we should be doing to encourage that?"

"Honestly, I wouldn't push anything." Callie glanced down at the picture at the top of the pile in my hands. "That's Brice, right?"

"She told you about him?" I asked and Callie nodded. I was glad to hear that, so glad that she was at least speaking to her teacher. "He's basically her cousin, my best friends' son."

"This is what I'd suggest, let's give things some more time, see if Annie is talking about any of the other kids at home, and if she isn't, I'll tell you who she seems to be gravitating towards. Then, you should set up a time with their parents to be at the park, and I'd suggest bringing Brice along with you too, if you can. Having another child there that she's comfortable with might allow her to open up a little bit to someone else."

"Okay. I like that idea."

"And Santana?" Callie started, and I nodded. "I know you're worried, but she's going to be just fine."

"I know." I said, not really sure if what I was about to say was even appropriate to get into with my daughter's teacher, but I knew Brittany had made a similar offhand comment about herself. "I just...I didn't have a lot of friends when I was younger, I kind of kept to myself until Brittany...forget it, I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I'm glad you said it. Don't get offended by this, okay?" I resisted the urge to stiffen my spine, the instinct that I still hadn't quite shaken when I thought someone was going to say something I didn't want to hear. "As parents, we want things to be easier for our kids, and what happens as a result of that is that we let our own insecurities rise up. Brittany was teased in school, so she's afraid of Annie being teased. You didn't make friends, so you're afraid Annie being the same way. If either of those things happen, we will _absolutely _deal with it, but until then, remember that your daughter is her own person. Her struggles may look similar, if not amplified, but you could end up finding out that they're very different."

"Thanks." I averted my eyes sheepishly, knowing that Callie was absolutely right. "And you didn't offend me, I needed to hear that. I'll tell Britt, too. She's just our first baby, you know? We don't want to mess this up."

"You love your daughter, you'd do anything for her, and you want the best the world can offer. I think you're a long way from messing up."

I felt my skin warm at the compliment, like it always did, but before I could say anything back, Annie came dragging my mom and Susan over to her cubby. The two of them were practically glowing at watching their tiny pride and joy, and I couldn't help but feel the same way.

"Hi, I'm Maribel Lopez." My mother introduced herself before I had the chance.

"Susan Pierce."

"Grammy, _'Buela._" Annie looked up at them, her voice getting quieter as she reached out to hold my hand. "This is my new teacher, Miss Callie."

"Thank you for introducing me, Annie." Callie smiled warmly and Annie squeezed my hand tighter as her teacher reached out to shake hands with the two older women. "It's lovely to meet you both. I'm so lucky to have such a special girl in my class."

"Thank you, Miss Callie." She said shyly, her cheeks reddening while she fought the urge to hide her face and I fought _my _urge to immediately pick her up and hold her close to me.

* * *

While Mamí and Susan spoke to (or possibly grilled, they _were _as fiercely protective of Annie as the rest of us were) Callie, I knelt down beside Annie and let her tell me about the pictures that I was starting to tuck into her bag. She spoke so animatedly about them that the other three women actually stopped their conversation to listen. I was glad she didn't notice though, because she wouldn't have continued on, she was speaking the way she only felt comfortable doing in front of Brittany and I, all emotions bared because she was in a safe space. When we finally were able to bid Callie a good weekend, we quickly stopped for pizza and then headed over to the park. I sat down on the bench, just watching my daughter and the two women who loved her so much (so much so that my fifty-eight year old _mother _was actually swinging beside Annie as Susan pushed her, all three of them laughing harder than I'd ever seen). We'd been there close to two hours when Brittany appeared in front of me, grinning before dropping down on the bench beside me. I kissed her quickly, and took her hand in mine before pointing over to the swings.

"Grammy, push me _higher!_" Annie's shrieks rang out. "_'Buela _is going to _win!_"

"Never thought you'd see the day when Maribel Lopez was having a _swinging contest_, did you?" I laughed, and Brittany just shook her head.

"You Lopez women are the biggest suckers for babies." Britt smirked. "It's actually the cutest thing ever."

"And the _Pierce _women aren't?" I countered.

"Oh, we are, we've just never tried to hide that fact."

"Okay, point taken." We sat there with silent smiles for a few minutes, just watching the happenings on the swings, none of them noticing that Brittany had arrived, before I spoke again. "Hey Britt?"

"Mmhm." She turned to look at me and squeezed my hand.

"I think...I mean...I know last time, we didn't tell anyone when we started on the IVF procedure, and it's a good thing we didn't, considering, but I don't know, I was just thinking that we could tell our moms. I just, I don't know, I'd kind of like to be able to talk to my mom and stuff, you know? Only if it's okay with you too though." I sputtered through the words and Brittany gave me one of her looks, the one that said _you don't have to be nervous when you're trying to tell me something important to you._

"Honey, I think that's a great idea, I'm totally on board with it. We can even do it tonight, after the baby is in bed if you want." She rubbed circles with her thumb on the back of my hand and I leaned over to give her another quick kiss.

"Yeah, okay. Good. Sorry I'm being weird."

"You're not, you're just nervous about everything, I get it. Plus, I think you're extra cute when you get all sputtery and awkward. _And_, I love that you want to be able to talk to your mom. I think that's really important."

"It is. I mean you know how I got last time, and not just because I was petrified of those gigantic needles you had to jam into me. I'll just be glad to have someone else to talk to, since I'll probably drive you crazy with all my irrational fears."

"San, you'll never drive me crazy. I love how protective you are of our currently non-existent baby, how protective you are of our daughter. That's where your fears come from, you know that. But I agree, it's always good to have another person, and I'm sure _my _mom will be glad to talk to you too."

"Yeah, I'm glad we have them both."

"Mama!" Annie's shouts interrupted us as she ran, catching herself before tripping, into Brittany's arms. "I didn't know you got here!"

"Well, you were having such a good time with Grammy and _'Buela _that I didn't want to interrupt you." Britt hugged our daughter tightly and I knew I had my usual goofy smile on my face watching them. "I missed you, baby girl."

"I missed you too. I'm glad you're here now. Did you see how high I swinged? Even higher than _'Buela!"_

"I did see, sweetheart." She gave Annie a butterfly kiss before shifting her onto her hip to stand up and hug our moms. "I'm so happy to see you both."

"So are we." My mother's arms were tight around Brittany, like they always were when she saw my wife, as if she couldn't thank her enough for giving me the life we had together.

"Who wants to head back to the house and give us the tour?" Susan asked, and Britt and Annie both jumped to attention, talking over each other excitedly about what they wanted to show first.

Once we'd made it back to the house, and went through the entire tour (ninety percent of which involved looked at every tiny crevice of Annie's bedroom, she was just _so _excited to share it with her grandmothers) Britt sprawled out on the couch with her head in my lap while my mother insisted on cooking dinner. From our place in the living room, we watched as Mamí sat Annie up on the counter beside her, the same place she always sat when I was the one cooking, just as she'd sat _me _when I was small, and Susan sat sipping her coffee at the table, talking to the two of them. Once Annie has stirred, tasted and approved her favorite meal, and helped Susan set the table, the five of us sat together, and I felt the same sense of warmth that always came to me when the three generations of women sat at the same table.

"_'Buela, esto es muy sabrosa." _Annie gushed, and my mother beamed as she always did when her _nieta _spoke in Spanish.

"_Gracias, Annalisita, y gracias por tu ayudó."_

"It _is _very delicious, and you did a great job helping _Abuela_, _mija._" I said, translating for Susan, and for Britt if she needed it, although she'd picked up so much listening to me speak to Annie over the years that she usually didn't.

"Mamí, can you play me the piano after dinner? And everyone can sing together?"

"After your bath, I'll play, and you can help me. It will be a a nice thank you to Grammy." I looked over at Susan and once again tried to express my gratitude for the early birthday gift she and Stephen had sent me. "Remember, it was a gift from her and Poppy."

"Okay! And thank you Grammy, even if it was a present for Mamí, I still think the music she makes means it's a present for _everyone._"

"I agree with you very much." Susan nodded solemnly to Annie. "She does make the prettiest music."

"And Mama's the prettiest dancer." Annie added, always careful to make sure everyone was included.

"Thank you baby." Brittany leaned over from Annie's right side to kiss the top of her head, and caught my eyes from her left as she pulled back up, sharing a silent moment together. "And you're just the prettiest of all."

* * *

After we finished dinner and my mother and Susan _insisted _on cleaning up so we could give Annie her bath (they knew it was important that even when they were visiting, we tried to keep most of our routine as constant as possible for her). Like she always did when I played the piano, my daughter sat at my side, her eyes wide as my fingers danced across the keys. Brittany leaned on the opposite side of the piano, her feet moving to the music of their own accord, and our moms joined in the singing (three times) of _Follow the Yellow Brick Road_. As I watched Annie's eyes begin to droop, and she dropped her head to rest on my side, I switched to a down tempo version of _Somewhere Over the Rainbow. _While I finished playing, Brittany moved to gather Annie into her arms, letting her mumble a sleepy _good night _and _I love you _to her grandmothers. When the song was finished, we took Annalise upstairs, both lying with her for a few minutes once she was tucked in. Pressing my lips against her forehead, I told my sleeping girl how much she meant to me, how proud I was of her, and how big of a deal it was that she'd done so well during her first week of school, before Britt followed suit and we turned off the lights, slipping back downstairs to our moms.

The two of them were on the couch sipping tea (I'd told them we'd get wine if they wanted it, but respectfully, everyone still refused to drink in our house, no matter how much time had passed or how okay with it I was), and Brittany and I settled into our oversized chair, my leg draped over hers and her arm around my waist. It was funny how everyone always watched us, I wasn't sure if it was in awe or disbelief, but neither of them said anything for several minutes as the two of us snuggled into each other, completely comfortable in each other's arms. Finally, it was Brittany who gently nudged my side, telling me to begin if I wanted, or that she would if that was easier for me. Our eyes met, and I silently told her that I was good to start, but I still gripped her hand tightly, not even sure why I was so _nervous _to tell the two women who tried to subtly (which they failed greatly at) ask us on a regular basis when they were getting more grandchildren.

"So...um." I started, and Brittany nodded to me, urging me on. "We have something to talk to you about, but we _really _need you not to shout and wake up Annie, okay?"

"Oh _dios mio._" My mother nearly cried out, looking at Susan who had the same excited expression on her face.

"No, no. Don't get ahead of yourselves. I know what you're thinking, but we aren't pregnant...yet." I couldn't help the smile that came to my lips at the word _yet._

"But." Brittany continued, her hand somehow coming to rest on my stomach as she cut off anything the older women were going to say. "We are about to start trying, and we wanted to tell you."

"When?" My mother demanded.

"How?" Susan asked at the same time.

"My first appointment with Dr. Singh is on Wednesday." I seriously couldn't keep the grin off my face as I thought about it, even if I still couldn't tamp the butterflies in my stomach. "We are going to do it in vitro, we did a lot of research back-" I cut myself off, realizing they didn't know.

"We started going through the process two years ago." Britt said quietly, rubbing my arm as she spoke. "But we kind of stopped in the middle, after we realized we needed to focus on just Annie for a little while. We have frozen embryos that we're going to use, and yeah...I mean that's pretty much it."

"Yeah, now we just wait until I'm knocked up." I smirked, trying to hide how emotional I felt over telling our moms something so important.

"Hold on." My mother said, standing up from the couch. "I'll be right back."

"Me too." Susan said, following her out of the room leaving Brittany and I completely stunned.

"Are they just going to _not _saying anything?" I couldn't help but laugh at their completely unexpected reaction.

"I have _no _idea." Brittany pulled my feet up into her lap and snuggled closer to me. "The same women who have _both _made their hopeful messages at Thanksgiving for the past three years _a bigger family_ just _ran _out of the room when we told them we were trying to give them what they want."

"I really have no words."

After about a minute, I started to feel nervous about the fact that they didn't come back right away, and Britt stroked my hair to soothe my anxiety. When they _finally _walked back in the room, my mother was wearing a self satisfied look and carrying a shopping bag, while Susan had a soft smile and a brown paper wrapped package in her hands. Britt looked over at me, and I shook my head in disbelief that they _somehow _already had gifts for an un-conceived child.

"Susan had to give me fifty dollars." My mother said as an explanation for their absence. "I bet her that you two were _finally _giving us another grandchild, and that you'd tell us on this trip."

"I'm _still _not sure it counts, since you _did _bet that Santana was pregnant." Susan rolled her eyes jokingly at Mamí. "But I'm so excited, that I don't even care, I'd give you a thousand dollars."

"Ma!" I half-shouted before remembering to keep my voice down. "Give Susan back that money right now, you cannot place bets on our kids!"

"It's okay, Santana." Susan said. "The rule on our bets is that the money has to be spent on Annie, or now, I guess, future baby Lopez-Pierce."

"Mom." It was Brittany's turn to chastise, her blue eyes sparking. "That doesn't make it any better. And what's with the packages? Do you just walk around with baby gifts in your suitcase?"

"Oh, no. They aren't baby gifts, that's bad luck." Mamí told us, and I gave her a look that said _and betting on this isn't? _"We have things for _you_."

Honestly, maybe it was the fact that I'd been with Brittany for so long, or maybe it was just the sheer ridiculous of the preceding five minutes, but when my mother said they had things for us, my mind somehow shifted to the _completely _inappropriate. Brittany shook her head at me, immediately knowing what I was thinking, and burst out laughing. To keep me from spontaneously combusting at the thought of something like that, she reached out her hand to take the package from her mom, and set my hand down on her thigh as she started to unwrap. Luckily, it was _not _something weird and _so _creepy, had it been a gift from my mother in law, instead, it was just weird and _hideous_, this terrible pair of bright 1960's style baby booties.

"Um. Mom, I thought the gifts weren't for the baby. I know Santana has tiny feet, but they _definitely _won't fit into these."

"No!" Susan chuckled. "They're not for Santana _or _the baby. Please, _no one _should be wearing these, ever. They're horrible. But there's a legend behind them, they're supposed to help conceive babies. Your grandmother made them before she got pregnant with me, her sisters used them, their kids used them. They were even in my suitcase in France when I got pregnant with you on my honeymoon, and in my nightstand when I got pregnant with Lizzie. Now it's your turn to try."

"Wow. Thanks Susan." I looked at the ugly shoes, trying not to feel slightly disgusted that _a lot _of people had sex around them. "They're great."

"They've been washed." My mother-in-law said, apparently noticing the look on my face. "And no one actually had sex _near _them."

"Still _kind of _weird." Brittany laughed and kissed me softly. "But seriously, thanks. We'll put the magic booties to good use."

"Okay Mamí." I said, still kind of overwhelmed by the magic fertility shoes. "What do you have, the matching hat?"

"_Cállate, mija._" My mother swatted my hand as I reached out to grab the bag. "You should take these things more seriously."

"Says the woman who bet on our baby." I looked at Britt and we shared a laugh. "Fine, Ma, I'm serious. What have _you _been carrying around with you in anticipation of this?"

My mother squeezed my hand as she handed over the bag to me, and I actually was surprised that I was _surprised _about what was inside. Like my mother found for just about _everything, _there was a statue of a saint inside, a woman holding a baby, and I resisted the urge to roll my eyes, knowing how important these things were to her. Even if I didn't fully _get _her religion, I _did _appreciate the meaning behind the things I'd grown up knowing.

"It's Saint Anne." She told me. "The Patron Saint of pregnancy and motherhood."

"Thanks, Mamí." I said softly, never sure how exactly to respond to things like this.

"I know it's not your thing, Santanita, but this statue has been up in the attic since you were born. Your father and I used to pray each night together to _Santa Anna _while we were trying, and then for your safe arrival while I was pregnant with you. Your father kept praying after..." I knew it was hard for my mother to speak about the circumstances of my birth, so I stood up and hugged her tightly.

"_Santa Anna._" Brittany repeated. "Is that where Santana's name came from?"

"It is." Mamí affirmed. "Javier named her, two days after she was born. _Mi amor, _when you were in the NICU and I didn't come to see you, your Papí thought that calling you that would be it's own kind of prayer, like it would save both of us, and I guess it worked."

"Wow." I said, blinking back the tears that had formed in my eyes. "I didn't know that."

"I know. You know your father, he wouldn't be the one to tell you about holding his tiny baby girl and crying for help with his wife, even though he knows you've done the same thing. But yeah, that's why Saint Anne is important to us, your namesake."

"We'll keep the statue in the house." I looked at Britt for approval, and she nodded vigorously, even though _she _had been raised in the Methodist church and didn't have _any _idea about saints, except that my mom and Rosa invoked them for just about everything.

"I also brought these." She reached into the pocket of her jeans and pulled out a small jewelry box, opening it to reveal the medals inside, one in white gold and one in yellow, both of the same saint. "They're long enough that they'll hide under your clothes, if you wanted to wear them...I'm not trying to push it on you though..."

"I know, Mamí." My voice was nearly a whisper, thick with emotion. "You never have. But I _will _wear one, I _do _like the story behind it, and I know that_ you_ will be praying to her for the next however many months on our behalf."

"I'd like to wear the other." Brittany smiled, wrapping her arms around my mother and I, urging Susan to join in. "That's a really cool story. How did I get my name, Mom?"

"Well. After your story Mari, this is going to sound so ridiculous and lame. But baby girl, your father and I spent most of our honeymoon in Brittany."

"Mom." Brittany groaned. "I did _not _want to know that."

"Really Brittany Sue?" Susan shook her head. "Consider that _one _sentence payback for everything I've heard."

"I can't believe you're one of those people who named their kid for where they were conceived." She complained, and I couldn't help but think that it sounded _exactly _like something my in-laws would do, and I kind of loved it.

"That's sweet, Britt." I told her, as we began to break up our group hug.

"Babe." My wife took the necklaces from my mom and fastened mine on behind the other I wore with Annie's initials before putting on her own and pulling me into a sweet embrace. "Just so you know, we are _not _naming our child _Doctor's Office._"

"Well that's something I can _definitely _agree to." I wrapped my arms around her neck and pulled her close to me for a kiss, so overwhelmingly happy at our mothers' excitement, and so filled with anticipation over putting the good luck tokens they'd given us to use.

"Girls." Susan gently interrupted our moment. "I seriously couldn't be happier that you're ready for this."

"Me either." My mom affirmed, tears welling up on her eyes, obviously at the thought of her _own _baby pregnant. "Another grandbaby..."

"Just do us a favor, okay?" Britt spoke softly as her hand absently caressed my stomach (I couldn't imagine what she'd be like when I was _actually _pregnant). "You can tell our fathers, because I know if you told me not to tell Santana something, I would anyway, but we don't want anyone else to know, not until things are official, and even then, not for a while."

* * *

When we'd finally gone to bed that night, after hours more of talking about just about everything, I'd snuggled into Brittany, silently counting the hours until we were at the doctor's office. Her fingers played with the new chain around my neck, and whether I believed in baby booties and saints of not, I _really _found myself hoping that they would work. So badly, so much more than I'd ever thought, the closer the appointment got, I wanted to have our baby inside of me, to bring the little life that would complete our family into the world. It felt like I'd hardly slept, the intensity of my own thoughts keeping me awake, when a tiny knock rapped against the door and I felt Britt slip away from me and let our tiny girl inside. By the time I opened my eyes, she was already settled onto the bed between us with her eyes watching me, waiting for me to be awake.

"Mamí, you look _very _sleepy." Annie informed me, before I sat up and pulled her on to my lap.

"I'm never too sleepy for you, _mija. _And I'm _definitely _not too sleepy to go to CMA today." I promised, watching my daughter's face light up at the mention of the Children's Museum of Art, _the absolute bestest museum ever._

"Did you _hear _that Mama?" She bounced in my lap excitedly and looked at Brittany. "Are Grammy and _'Buela _coming too?"

"Of course they are." Britt assured her. "They were the ones who asked us where we'd thought you'd like to go today."

"Oh! I can't wait to show them _everything! _We need to get ready!"

She started to wriggle out of my arms to go get dressed, but I stilled her motions, reminding her that it was _still _very early. She reminded me so much of Brittany sometimes that I couldn't help but laugh about it. While my wife had changed so much with motherhood, she'd never let that excitement she felt about the smallest things die, and I _loved _seeing it all over again in my daughter's eyes. Finally, calmed by the brushing motions of my hands against her arms, Annie slipped under the covers and lie there quietly for a few moments, just looking up at the ceiling.

"What are you thinking about, Little Bean?" Britt asked, calling her by her very first nickname, the one she occasionally slipped back into using when the three of us were having a quiet moment together.

"I feel very happy today." Annie said quietly, and my heart clenched.

"What about all the other days?" Brittany had her head propped on her hand and was staring down into the blue eyes that mirrored her own. "You don't feel happy then too?"

"Oh no, Mama, I _always _feel happy. But sometimes I feel happy _and _scared. Today it's just happy."

"It's okay to feel both." I told her. "Because you know what? I learned something very important on the day you were born."

"You learned lots of 'mportant things on my birthday, right?" She asked, and I couldn't help but laugh at just how true that statement was.

"I did. But the most important thing I learned that day was that happy always wins."

"It's true." Brittany confirmed. "And that's why we have to enjoy the days that are _all _happy the very most. It gives it a bigger place in your heart."

"I want it to have the _biggest _place, the _whole _thing."

"Oh, _corazoncita,_ that's all I want for you too." I kissed her nose as she played with the bracelet on her wrist. "You really did a great job this week going to school, but we don't have to think about it all weekend if you don't want."

"S'okay, Mamí. I _do _like thinking about school. I like it there a lot. I'm just trying to make the happy bigger than the scared."

"You will, baby girl." Brittany promised. "Mamí and I both know you will."


	5. Chapter 5-Living Happily Ever After

**Author's Note: Thank you guys, as always for your follows and favorites. Thank you to Blueskkies, SnixBr, naynay1963, blueashke, lg4az, AlabamaMiles, Chuckleshan, ishlheard2day, TTalks, mocblue, StephaniieC and the guest reviewer for all of your reviews! The timing on this chapter actually kind of unintentionally worked out how I wanted it to, so that was awesome. Anyway, enjoy! Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

On the morning of our first appointment with Dr. Singh, I woke up feeling like I was gong to throw up. It was ridiculous, I was well aware of that fact, especially because it wasn't like I was going to walk out of her office all _implanted _or anything, it was just going to be a sonogram, a blood test (although _that _was enough to make me nauseous in its own right, damn needles), prescriptions (for more damn needles, seriously, the twenty-first century was nearly a quarter over, you'd think they'd have come up with a better solution by this point), and a plan. But it was in my nature to freak out over just about everything, so I guess it was only natural, at least by _my _standards, to be on the verge of an explosion of nerves on such an important day.

After dropping Annie off at school for day five (and I'd downed as many cups of coffee, knowing that I'd promised myself I'd give it up immediately after the appointment-better to do it early than to give myself the caffeine withdrawal stress once the procedure was actually finished), Brittany and I took a cab up to Gramercy. She held my hand tightly, frequently brushing her fingers up and down my thigh, calming me with each touch. Had it been anyone else, they probably would have mistaken my anxiety for dread, but my wife knew me better than that. She knew that I took everything seriously, so seriously that sometimes I got myself to the point where I was like a rubberband waiting to snap. No, I wasn't _dreading _the appointment, I was so unbelievably excited about it, but the gravity of the entire thing just made my insides turn to jelly. Over the fabric of my dress, I felt for the medal that lay between my breasts and I sent a silent message to my mother, figuring she was _probably _lighting candles somewhere (the only thing she loved more than praying to saints was lighting candles). We were really doing this, we were really trying to have another baby.

"I love you, San." Brittany said softly, pressing her lips to the back of the hand she held with her own.

"And I love you more." I smiled back to her as I climbed out out the cab.

"Totally not even possible."

We made our way into the elevator, and my heart thumped faster against my ribs with each floor that we passed. It was a different office than the one Brittany, in a panicked frenzy, found inside Beth Israel hospital four and a half years earlier, but I was so glad for how things had worked out for the doctor we cared so deeply about. In the time that had passed since Annie's birth, Dr. Singh had taken her talents to the new birthing center that she'd helped to create. Although I once would have scoffed at the idea of natural childbirth and what the publicity for the center claimed was a _spiritual experience_, I found myself strangely drawn to the idea. Brittany and I, alone in the room, laboring together until our baby was ready to come out was so vastly different than the terror that came along with Annie's traumatic birth via emergency C-Section, and I think _one _experience like that is enough for a lifetime. Should nothing go wrong (which I'd pray and cross all of my fingers every day for), Future Baby Lopez-Pierce (already affectionately dubbed FBLP by Brittany) would both enter and exit my body in some soft, warm hued room, with Enya playing (maybe I'm lying about that, it just seems kind of appropriate for the scene), no drugs (which, given my history, was the _most_ important to me), and both of their mothers holding on to each other, waiting. Thinking about _that _managed to relax me slightly as we walked up to the reception desk and Brittany did all the talking for me.

Once we'd given the receptionist our updated insurance card (thank you, New York State for making insurance companies pay for fertility treatments for same sex couples!) and a copy of my last physical (as a doctor's daughter, I was _really _good about remembering to get one every six months, even if I _was _slightly terrified of those visits), we were immediately escorted back to one of the exam rooms. Brittany watched me with my favorite look on her face, that one of unadulterated adoration, as pulled my dress over my head and handed it to her to hang for me. Tossing my bra and panties in her direction (the least sexy strip tease ever, and I'd seen some pretty awful ones as a former stripper) I shrugged on the insanely soft cotton gown and shifted my weight from one foot to the other. Before I could say anything to her, she dropped the underwear she was folding onto the chair and came up to me, pulling me into the tightest hug. Her fingers ran gently through my hair, calming me immensely and I pressed a soft kiss on her lips. We stood there, locked in an embrace, so much passing silently between us, until there was a knock at the door and Dr. Singh walked in the room. Reluctantly disentangling myself from Brittany's arms, I lay down on the examination table and she took the seat beside me, immediately linking her fingers with mine again,

"Morning, Dr. Singh." I found my words for the first time since we walked through the doors to the building.

"Good morning ladies." She spoke in her soft sing-song voice. "It's so good to see you both again."

"It's great to see you too." Brittany chirped.

"How are you two? And how is little miss Annalise?"

"We're really good." I told her, my confidence returning at just how true that was. "Annie started school last week."

"That's wonderful." Dr. Singh said earnestly. She knew just how difficult it had been for Brittany and I when we sat in the chairs opposite her office desk, me a weepy hormonal mess from the tail end of the fertility drugs, Brittany trying to hold it together for both of us, telling her that we needed to postpone what we'd started. "So let's talk, you're ready to start this process again?"

"We are." Brittany smiled in my direction, and I nodded my affirmation.

"Excellent." She sat on the stool at the foot of the table and began to flip through my file. "So you have five fertilized embryos frozen, most likely, only two to three will have survived the preservation process."

While she talked about implanting the remaining embryos, I listened intently, glad I already knew so much about what we were about to undergo. Two years earlier, I'd nearly had a heart attack when Dr. Singh told us that it was common procedure to use up to three, to increase the odds of one taking. I _may _have quoted _Friends _and told her _my vagina is not a gumball machine_, before I actually calmed myself down enough to listen to what she was saying. It was moments like that, when I realized that the old _react first, think after _Santana still _did _exist deep inside of me, even if I _had _improved significantly. But this time, I wasn't scared hearing the doctor repeat those words, I just let myself feel Brittany's thumb rubbing my hand while I hoped so hard that we'd have one take, hoped so hard that one of my microscopic eggs that had been fertilized with the sperm of some tall, blonde, blue eyed dancer (it was kind of crazy the disproportionate number of performance artists there were in the creepy sperm catalogue, but I guess the term _starving artist _proves true) would grow into a baby.

"Well, Santana, let's start this off with some _great _news."

"Already?" I asked skeptically, since she hadn't even begun to examine me.

"Yes, already." Dr. Singh laughed. "This time, you only have to do three weeks worth of estrogen shots, and only every three days."

"Okay, that's the best news _ever._" Brittany nearly shouted, and squeezed my hand. The needles may have pierced my skin, but my wonderful, patient wife absolutely bore the brunt of my trypanophobia. Really thinking about it, it was actually _hilarious_, considering how many fears I'd overcome, that a tiny needle could still terrify me.

"I'm not that bad."

"Honey, I love you dearly, but you _are _that bad."

"Well, I think it's some kind of psychological torture that all of you smart doctor people use to keep the rest of us at bay." I frowned slightly, looking at a highly amused Dr. Singh. "Don't mess with the doctors, they'll jab a sharp object under your skin."

"Your father is a doctor Santana, and I know for a fact that he never threatened you with needles." Brittany gave me a playful smile, and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Anyway, ladies." The doctor interjected our banter with a smile. "Speaking of needles, we're going to start by taking some blood."

Although I knew it was coming, I still let out an exaggerated groan at the actual prospect of it. Doctor Singh prepared dozens of vials (okay, maybe closer to six) and warned me to close my eyes before she took the needle out of the package. While the band was wrapped around my arm, Brittany's mouth was up against my ear, softly whispering familiar words inside. At the teasing lilt of her voice as she spoke the words _I would dial the numbers just to listen to your breath_, I couldn't help the upturn of my lips and the small laugh that escaped. I was so lost in memories, the changes that had made my life turn from scary and terrible to absolutely incredible, that I didn't feel the pinch of cool metal in the crook of my elbow, didn't notice the vials filling with my blood, I was just filled with my wife's voice, the smell of her hair, the beautiful energy that flowed from her to me, the feelings of _love, security, bliss._

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Dr. Singh asked, and I thought of Dr. Kellen, Annie's pediatrician speaking the same words to her, and the brave face she'd put on every single time, the brave face _I'd _put in on front of her so she wouldn't get more scared.

"You want a lollipop?" Brittany teased, and I flicked her on the arm.

"I _was _brave you know, I _should _get one."

"I'll make it worth your while later." She breathed, and I felt the blush creeping up my neck, hoping Dr. Singh didn't overhear.

"Alright." The doctor spoke, her voice not revealing whether or not she had. "Let's do an ultrasound, make sure everything still seems to be in good working order, and then we'll discuss the next few weeks."

Slipping my bare feet into the stirrups, I dropped my head back onto the pillow behind me, bracing myself for the cold intrusion between my legs. When the inside of my uterus appeared on the screen, I stared into the picture, scrutinizing as if I had _any _idea what I was looking at. Mostly, it just looked like emptiness, so I gave up even trying after a minute or so and turned to look at Britt instead. She wasn't watching the screen, she was just watching _me_. When she caught me looking up at her, she grinned, and I tapped my lips, asking for a kiss. After a quick peck and a few moments of intense eye contact, Dr. Singh was done scribbling notes into my file and she cleared her throat, breaking us from the trance we'd fallen into.

"Okay." Dr. Singh announced, flipping the switch to turn off the ultrasound machine. "Everything looks healthy, and once your blood work is finished at the lab in a few hours, I'll be able to confirm with you that we can start preparing your body immediately."

"Wow." I breathed, and I didn't have to look back at Brittany to _feel _the smile radiating off of her face. "So by immediately, you mean like tonight?"

"I do." She nodded. "Once we have the results, I'll call you and let you know, then we'll call everything in to the pharmacy."

"Define _everything_." I tried to laugh, hating that I was so hypersensitive about anything medical.

"It's okay, Santana, you're not going to clear out the pharmacy. I'm just putting you on three weeks of birth control, to reset your system, the estrogen shots, and an antibiotic that I want you to take for the ten days before the embryo transfer."

"And that's in three weeks?" Brittany asked.

"Three weeks." Dr. Singh affirmed. "Do you have any other questions for me?"

"I don't think so." I pursed my lips and Brittany shook her head. "But you've dealt with us before, I'm _sure _I'll think of a hundred things the minute we walk out of this office and have to call."

"I know." She chuckled softly, knowing that I might not even make it to the waiting room without remembering something I needed to ask.

"San, do you think she should call me, since you're going to be with Finn all afternoon? That way I can go fill the prescriptions?" Britt asked, reminding me that I was going to be pretty unavailable for the rest of the day.

"Yeah, I didn't even think of that, actually. You can do that, right Dr. Singh?"

"Absolutely, I do remember that the first thing you insisted was that your wife have full access to all of your medical information. Brittany, I will call you this afternoon. And if all goes according to plan, I'll see you back here in a few weeks."

"Thank you." My hand reached out to grab Dr. Singh's arm, almost of it's own accord. "Seriously, thank you so much."

"Don't thank me yet, save it for the day I get to hand the two of you your new baby." From anyone else, I would have rolled my eyes at the confidence, mistaking it for cockiness, but not from Dr. Singh. She was excellent at what she did, and of all the doctors I'd met in my life, I believed in her the most. How could I not, after all she'd already done for our family?

Quickly, once Dr. Singh left us in the room, I got myself dressed. Brittany pulled me back into her for a quick moment before she carefully fixed my hair that had been messed up by lying on the table. Noticing the lollipops on the reception desk, Britt snatched two of them and smiled sweetly before unwrapping them both, handing one to me and sticking the other in her mouth. We waved a quick goodbye before linking our hands together again and starting our walk back downtown. It was the break I needed between the first emotional portion of the day, and the second that was to come. When we reached the garage where our car was parked, I sank into Brittany's arms one last time, always remembering what had given me the strength to do what I was about to do. We said our goodbyes before I got in the car and started my forty-five minute drive to Finn's school in the southwest corner of Brooklyn.

* * *

It was the third September since I'd made the decision to share my story with other people, and the third that Finn had asked me to come to talk to his classes. The annual assembly that his PFLAG chapter planned had become something of a hit (although, that was _probably _because they all got to skip their afternoon classes and hang out in the auditorium), but I knew on some level, the kids were impacted by the words that it had taken me years to be able to speak. On top of that, it _did _let them all know about the _sing about your feelings and shit _program that was starting in November, and I'd take any kind of opportunity to promote it that I could get. I didn't care if a hundred people came to _my _monthly meetings, or just one (although the more kids that came, the better chance I had of getting it started at other schools), I honest and truly just wanted to be able to help _anyone _I could have an easier time than I had. My mind was still buzzing with the excitement of being in Dr. Singh's office as I parked the car, signed into the building and made my way to the auditorium where Finn was waiting for me.

I was running later than I would have liked, so I only had a quick minute to hug Finn and take my seat in the front row. There were probably seventy-something kids sitting behind me, the students that _hadn't _taken the assembly as a free afternoon (which I'm _sure _I would have done when I was their age). The ones that had come though were listening to Finn, for the most part, attention rapt at his words about acceptance and tolerance. He was an extremely well liked teacher, and I appreciated the way he candidly spoke to them about his own high school experience, about the earliest part of the journey that had led him to the stage, to his insistence on all of his students treating each other, and most importantly themselves, with respect. He spoke about Lima, how it wasn't exactly a town that welcomed differences with open arms, about slushies, about his own wife being borderline tortured for her dreams, about the Glee club, about struggling to accept sharing a room with his gay stepbrother, about the prejudices he'd held within himself, about how he hadn't realized how much those things hurt others, and about the terrified girl he'd outed in the hallway at school so many years earlier. He was so open in his speech that I felt the tears spring to my eyes, and he hadn't even told them about the second time our stories intersected, he was leaving that to me.

"Okay guys, now I want to introduce someone who is really important to me. This woman and I have seen each other at our worst, and have grown together into our best. I want you all to listen closely to her story, to hear what it really means to overcome. My very, very dear friend, Santana Lopez-Pierce." He smiled in my direction, and I quickly wiped my eyes before making my way up to the stage and taking the microphone from his hands.

"Hey everyone." I gave a small awkward wave, never very good at beginning these things. "One of the hardest things I've ever learned how to do was to tell my story, but three years ago, I came to the conclusion that it _needed _to be told, that I needed to show people who struggle like I have that there _is _an end somewhere out there, and to show people who are like the people I've struggled _against _that behind every judgement and hateful slur, there is a _person _who feels each of those things like a thousand tiny knives."

I took a long sip of the water bottle that was on the table beside me, and drew in a deep breath.

"I'm not going to censor myself with all of you, because I'm not your mother or your teacher, so I don't have to, and to do that would take away from the story. Like Mr. Hudson, I'm from Lima, Ohio, the land of _it's not okay to be different. _When I was in high school, I fell in love with my best friend. The problem was, my best friend was a _girl, _and I _hated _myself every single day for the way I felt. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't push those feelings away, the only thing I could do was become more and more of a raging bitch every single day. I couldn't stop myself from sleeping with her, I was just _drawn _to her in a ridiculous way. I lashed out on everyone who crossed my path, and even when I _finally _admitted to her that I was in love with her, it didn't get easier. Instead, I was more and more afraid, I threatened to out a guy on the football team if he didn't pretend to date me, I made fun of Mr. Hudson's stepbrother every single day because he was so proud to be gay. I thought because I was different too, I had the right to say horrible things to other people like me, like someone had given me some kind of free pass to say the horrible things I thought about myself to anyone else I could take them out on. Somehow, I'm my twisted seventeen year old head, all of that made sense."

I scanned my audience for a second, taking gulps of water. Finn caught me eye and he gave me a small nod, knowing that I was struggling with the hardest parts of the story that was to come. This was the biggest reason why I was working on my music program, because it was so much easier to say the words that way. But this was something I'd insisted upon doing _without _it, because sometimes I just _had _to say the words.

"I started dating Brittany, officially, at the very beginning of my senior year of high school. She understood me better than I understood myself, and because she loved me as much as I loved her, we kept it a secret. I wasn't ready for the ignorant people of Lima to cast their judgement on me for the way I was born. Then, I got into a verbal altercation with your teacher in the hallway over something so _ridiculous, _over our rival singing groups. But that was the problem, _everything _set me off on a tirade, I had absolutely no control over my own emotions because I was so fucking _scared _of the best thing that ever happened to me. Anyway, the argument ended in a way I never would have imagined, with Finn Hudson outing me in front of half of the school, and, because of a ridiculous political campaign, it led to my face being plastered all over an anti-gay campaign ad."

Again, I paused for the gasps that always came when the students realized _I _was the girl that their teacher had outed. For a few moments, I let myself catch my breath before telling the _worst _part.

"I _hated _the boy who'd done something so unforgivable, but I wouldn't let anyone see how much it destroyed me, not after I already showed my vulnerability by jumping off a stage and slapping him across the face. I hid it really well, even after we'd graduated high school and I ended up living with his stepbrother and future wife. I was polite enough to him, but that hate hadn't died. Then, almost eight years ago, I was walking to the subway from my job in the middle of the night, when a man dragged me into an alley and slit my throat to try to _teach me a lesson _for being who I'd finally accepted."

I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, the scars that were still prominent illuminated by the bright lights of the stage. Again, there were gasps, and that was the reason why doing this had become so important to me. Sometimes, actually hearing a person who'd gone through the worst speak, seeing the scars that marred another body, could work in a way that nothing else could. In front of me were kids at the age where shock factor had the biggest impact, and I would use that to the advantage of the cause I was promoting.

"While I was bleeding out on the pavement, sliced open like I was completely worthless, for something I couldn't change, even if I wanted to, Mr. Hudson was searching for me, and he was the one who found me all but dead. When I woke up in the hospital, by some ridiculous miracle, I was angrier than I'd ever been, more terrified than I'd ever been, and I'd just about given up the will to fight. Instead, I made the worst possible decision for myself, I started drinking heavily. It was all I would do from the moment I woke up until I finally passed out at night, I'd drink tequila, or wine, vodka, anything it could get my hands on at any given time. The man who had tried to kill me almost succeeded in a completely different way than he'd intended, and I was allowing it to happen."

It was strange to me that my story didn't make me cry anymore, it was no longer about feeling self pity. It was _over_, had been over for so many years, and even if I _did _still feel an occasional bout of panic, it had become so rare that it hardly impacted my daily life. Instead, it was all a lesson, a lesson for me, for the people I wanted to help, and some day, for my own children. It wasn't the cliche _it gets better _that people always try to spew, no, it was the _you can overcome the worst things in the world if you get the help you need._

"I wanted to die, probably more than anything, because I wanted the fear and heartache to go away. But I wouldn't kill myself, at least not directly, I just shunned the help of _anyone _who came to my aid, until one day, the person I could never truly shake from my veins appeared back in my life after six years apart. Brittany was probably the only person who could get through to me, and that's not to say everyone else didn't try. Mr. Hudson, his now wife, his stepbrother and his now husband, my parents, they tried everything, but I was stubborn as all hell. But Brittany didn't take my shit, she never did, and I didn't want to lose her again, so I got help. It didn't take long before I realized that I couldn't just be doing it for the woman I loved, it had to be for _me. _I struggled, like you wouldn't believe, to overcome what I'd been through, but I learned to love _myself _for the first time in my life. I know, that if someone had spewed some bullshit about loving myself in high school, I probably would have told them to go to hell, so I'm sure half of you are internally rolling your eyes at me right now. Still, take it from someone who has been through hell and came back out again, someone who sat in a courtroom and heard the man who tried to kill me say that my life was never worth living. Loving another person is absolutely incredible, but until you love yourself, until you _take care _of yourself, you can't have any of that."

I let them mull on all of that for a moment, taking another breather and just watching. Looking again in Finn's direction, I summoned him up on the stage with me. When he reached my side, I grabbed hold of his hand and was able to start speaking again.

"So everyone always wants to hear the happily ever after, in any story. I can't stand up here and tell you the end, because honestly, I'm _living _my happily after every single day. That doesn't mean things won't be hard again in the future, because I just don't _know, _life isn't some kind of romantic comedy where it all ends in a wedding and a ride off into the sunset. _But, _I'll tell you all this." I stopped, kind of grinning like an idiot. "Brittany and I _did _get married, we have an absolutely amazing four year old daughter, we have the best friends, and a wonderful family. Had you asked me when I was sixteen how I saw my life playing out, I _never _would have said this, I _never _would have let myself even hope for this. I had to let myself stop being so goddamn scared before any of this could ever happen. When I was in high school, I felt like I had no one I could talk to, no one who understood me. I'm not saying that I know everything, but I'm saying that I do know _some _things. I'm happy to listen if you want to talk, I'm not a guidance counselor- and maybe that's a good thing. I'm just a person who can listen, who can hopefully help find you someone that can help if you want it. I don't care if you're gay, straight, an addict, or if you just don't feel like you fit in anywhere. Send me an e-mail, and even if it takes me a few hours to get back to you- I _do _have a very active daughter- I'll help you in any way I can. If you think that's weird, which I probably would have, but you still want some kind of place where you can talk, come at the beginning of November, when I'm here. You can sing, dance, draw a picture, read a poem, whatever you want, to express how you're feeling. I'm not usually great about talking, I sing about things when it feels too hard, so maybe you'll find a way that helps you deal too. Anyway, thank you all for not falling asleep or throwing shit at me, Mr. Hudson will give any of you who want it my e-mail address, and we'll chat."

"Thank you, Santana." Finn took the microphone back from me. "Guys, let's give her some applause, please."

At the sound of their applause, I always felt my heart start to race. It was so completely different than what I'd expected to feel back when my only dream was to be famous, it was so much _better. _The sound of people responding to something _real _meant infinitely more than a response to a cheesy pop song, it was the sound of an impact, not the sound of blind fandom. When Finn's students settled down, he opened the floor for questions to both of us. Together, we answered them, him talking about growing out of his high school stupidity, about wanting to teach his own students not to behave the way he did so they wouldn't run the risk of turning into someone like Ryan Davis, about what had gone through his head after finding me that night, how the two of us ended up friends again, while I talked about the fate of my attacker, about therapy, medication, AA meetings, neither of us holding anything back. After they were dismissed for the day, Finn packed up his things and walked me out to my car.

"Could you imagine someone getting up on a stage and saying those things back home?" I asked him.

"No, I really can't." He chuckled. "It would have been a good thing though."

"Yeah, it would have been. You know, the only adult I was ever cool with talking to about things was Holly Holliday, and she was gone as quickly as she came."

"She was pretty cool. I mean she _did _convince the one and only Santana Lopez to talk about her big scary feelings."

"Yeah, if it wasn't for her, I would have been hiding a lot longer than I was. Do you think any of your kids will reach out to me?"

"If they don't reach out to you, they won't reach out to anyone. You're _really _good at this, Santana, and I'm not just saying that because you're my best friend. Talking to them like that, letting them know that good things can still happen even if it seems like the world is ending, I know it makes a difference."

"I really, really hope so, Finn. No one should have to go through it alone. Thank you, for letting me do this."

"Any time, seriously. Thank _you _for being open with them. I'm still so proud of you when I watch you speak."

"Thanks, Dad." I joked and finally gave him a real hug. "I'll see you over the weekend, okay?"

"Of course." He grinned. "Brice hasn't stopped talking about seeing _S'tana, Brinny and MyAnnie._"

"We can't wait either. Hey, Finn, I know I don't say it a lot, but I kind of love you or whatever."

"I love you or whatever too."

* * *

It was almost six o'clock by the time I made it home, already feeling completely exhausted from how much emotion I'd felt throughout the day. When I walked through the door, I kicked my heels off into the hall closet and dropped my sweater down on the couch. I could smell _something _cooking, something good, and heard Brittany and Annie laughing hysterically in the kitchen. Crossing the threshold into the room, I watched Brittany turning French Toast in a pan on the stove and Annie sitting beside her on the counter, powdered sugar streaked across her face. When she saw me, she lit up, and when Britt turned around, her face matched our daughters.

"Mamí!" Annie cried out, wriggling in place. "We're making your favorite food _ever!_"

"What are you making?" I played along, walking over to my daughter and kissing her forehead, carefully wiping the sugar off of her face.

"French Toast! With special apple bread!" She bounced up and down and I picked her up, not wanting her to bounce right off of the counter. "Me and Mama took the number one train to Zabar's!"

"You did? Well that sounds like a _very _special afternoon. I'm sad I missed it."

"S'okay, you had to go to school with Uncle Finn, and we bought you a present!"

"It's in the living room, sweetheart." Brittany told her, and Annie immediately wriggled out of my arms, running into the living room.

"Hi." Brittany smiled brightly, putting the spatula down on the stove and stealing a kiss. I licked her bottom lip, tasting the sugar that was on it and leaned into her. "How was it?"

"It was good. Tough, you know, but so good. Finn thinks I'll get some e-mails, and that I really can make a difference."

"I know you can, Santana. You've made so much of a difference in your _own _life, that I know just hearing you speak can change other people's."

"I really hope so. Did Dr. Singh-"

Before I could finish asking the question, Annie came tearing back in the room, a misshapen package wrapped in the comic section of the newspaper. There was a lopsided purple bow tied around it, and the excited little blonde hopped up and down, trying to shove it into my hands. I laughed, pressing another kiss to the top of her head and making a big show of carefully unwrapping the paper. When I saw what was inside, I looked back over at my grinning wife, knowing that she'd answered my question without needing to speak the words.

"Mama said this is your _favorite _special coffee in the world, and that's why we went _all _the way uptown."

"It _is_ my favorite coffee, _mija_. Thank you for helping her pick it out for me." Annie threw her arms around my neck and I held her closely, my eyes not leaving Brittany's as I ran my thumb over the most important word on the package, _decaffeinated. _

"_Thanks, Britt._" I mouthed, feeling another overwhelming bout of emotion as she set the French Toast on three plates and carried them over to the table.

"What happened t'your arm?" Annie asked, noticing the bandaid in the crook of my elbow, never, ever missing a trick.

"I had to get a shot today." I told her, her fingers tracing the edges of the bandage.

"School _and _a shot?" Annie's eyes widened. "You were _extra _brave today, Mamí."

"She was, baby girl." Brittany smiled, helping her up into her chair. "That's why we brought her a present and made breakfast for dinner."

"Well I'm happy you were brave! Breakfast for dinner is my _favorite!_" Annie cheered, and I smiled, loving that _so many _things were her favorite.

* * *

Because I'd been gone for the entire afternoon, it took us much longer than usual to settle our daughter down for bed. In addition to our typical routine, Annie also added in singing the new Taxi Song she'd learned in school probably fifteen times, showing me the pictures she'd drawn, and then a bout of hyperactive energy where she went tearing through the house in just her pajama bottoms before Brittany finally caught her in her arms and settled her down between us in her bed. We ended up reading three chapters of _Little House on the Prairie _(we'd finished _Little House in the Big Woods _a few days earlier) and finally, halfway through my _third _time singing _Tomorrow_, Annie's eye's finally closed. Neither of us moved for close to a half hour, me feeling too tired, and Brittany, probably fearful that moving too soon would result in another shrieking jog around the house. Finally, after we were sure she was asleep, we gave her final good night kisses and retreated to our own bedroom.

While I went to _finally _take a shower (I _hated _that I hadn't had time to do it in between the doctor's office and going to Finn's school) Brittany went downstairs to get our first vial out of the spot in the back of the refrigerator where she'd carefully hidden them. When I came back into the bedroom, I was feeling all kinds of jittery excited about the fact that everything was in place, and all kinds of jittery _nervous _about the size of the needle that I knew Britt was hiding from me. She had changed into her pajamas, and was sitting on the bed, bouncing anxiously up and down as she scrolled through her e-mails. After swallowing one of the pills that Britt had left on the dresser, I quickly dried my hair, and pulled on a long t-shirt, forgoing anything on the bottom.

"Can I take your picture?" Brittany asked, staring adoringly at me.

"Yeah." I smiled, not caring that my hair was all over the place and I'd washed all of my makeup off. "But then take one of the two of us together."

"Okay!" She quickly snapped the picture, and then I sat down beside her, pressing my face close to hers while she took another. "Are you ready for this?"

"For the needle? Never. To start making a baby, absolutely."

"I'll be fast, I promise."

"I know you will." I gave her a half-smile and she kissed me deeply, sighing into me.

"Lay on your stomach, don't look."

I listened to her, burying my face in her pillow as she shuffled around, humming as she ripped open the package with the needle. She sat down on the back of my knees, placing several kisses down my spine before holding them in the spot on the right side of my lower back. I reached around, placing my own hand on the other side so she could hold it. Once I felt her lift her head back up and the cool swipe of the alcohol pad in the same spot, I squeezed my eyes shut, even though my face was surrounded by the darkness of the pillow. Her left hand rested over mine and I breathed deeply, anticipating.

"One, Two."

"Fuck! Britt that wasn't three!" I cried out as she quickly jabbed into my skin and I felt the deep burn of the serum creeping into the muscle there.

"You always tense up on three." She placed the empty syringe down on the night stand, covered the spot with another bandage and kissed the burning skin around it.

"Well now I'm going to tense up on _two._"

"I guess I'll have to change it up then." She said simply, and I couldn't control the smile as it came to my face and I untucked my head so I could see her, still sitting on my legs, out of the corner of my eye. "I just want to kiss you all over."

"You know I'll never say no to that. But will you lay with me for a little while first?"

"_I'll _never say no to _that." _Brittany crawled off of my legs and immediately to my side, pulling me into her arms and kissing everywhere on my face. "God, I love you so much."

"Britt, you know I'm never the one to get my hopes up before things are a guarantee, but I already have my hopes up, like _so _much about this. Is that bad?"

"No, babe, hope is a good thing. Even if it doesn't happen in three weeks, it's _going _to happen. We're gonna have a tiny little Santana in the world to go with our little me, and I can't _wait._"

"A tiny little me." I smiled a little bit, burying my face in her neck. "That's kind of a scary thing, you know."

"No, you're amazing, and FBLP is going to amazing too."

We didn't say much else, we didn't have to. My eyes hardly felt like they could stay open, between a doctor visit, needles, sharing my story with a new class of kids at Finn's school, and so much excitement about what was to come, but I wasn't ready to sleep. Instead, I kept trading kisses with my wife, letting my bare legs rub against the soft fabric of her sweatpants, feeling her heartbeat against my chest, feeling her fingers trace over the spot on my back where I knew angry bruises were already blooming, and just thinking about what I'd said to the kids in the auditorium earlier in the day. That I was still right in the middle of my happy ending, and it was the best feeling in the entire world.


	6. Chapter 6-Hold On To The Future

**Author's Note: Just a thanks to SnixBr, Chuckleshan, lg4az, ruby-may89, AlabamaMiles, Blueskkies, ishlheard2day, mocblue, naynay1963, snixx-tana & Gleeahokic for your reviews. I'm ****_hoping _****to get two more chapters out before I leave for Jamaica next week, but we shall see! As always, I look forward to hearing what you all think!**

* * *

In our family, both biological and the one we'd created with the ones who meant the most to us, big events never passed without a ridiculous amount of pomp and circumstance, it was just the way that we all did things. There was one day though that was an exception, one infinitely important day, that _wasn't _marked with any of the usual fanfare. September 19th, the day that had at one time defined my entire existence, had faded into one of silent remembrance, only commemorated with the simplest utterance of _I love you's_ murmured by those I held dear to me. When I woke up just after dawn on that morning, the morning of another year passed, my body was in it's usual position, legs entwined with my wife's, our bodies almost completely one with each other. It was Brittany's unconscious motions that had given me such an important reminder, as her whole hand covered the softball sized bruise on my lower back and just the smallest tip of her pinky finger rested just above my left breast; _we need to hold onto the future so much tighter than we hold onto the past_.

Carefully, so as not to wake Brittany, I slipped out of her embrace and down the hall to where our beautiful little girl slept. When I crept into the room, trying not to wake the _other _blonde in my life, I was immediately greeted by blue eyes that blinked slowly open and a bright, if not sleepy, smile. She was always so acutely aware of our presence, even in her sleep, and I returned her smile with my own soft one. Climbing up into her bed and under the covers with her, I wrapped my arms around Annie and she snuggled close to me. I savored those sleepy moments, the moments just after the sun came up where there were no obligations beyond taking time to think about how important the smallest things in life are.

"_Te amo, mi bebé dulce._" I whispered into her little blonde head, feeling her warm breath against my neck.

"_Te amo también, Mamí._" She said softly, her voice still edged with sleep and her fingers tugging at the ends of my hair. "S'it time to get up now?

"We don't have to, it's very early and Mama is still asleep."

"Mmmkay." She murmured, her eyes closing again as she lay against my chest, the same way she used to fall asleep as a tiny baby. "I'm going to sleep again too."

I hadn't realized that I'd fallen back to sleep with Annie, the soft sounds of her breathing lulling me. It wasn't until I felt the dip of the bed, and the touch of long fingers running through my hair that I woke up again. Brittany was lying beside us already dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt, smiling contentedly at the sight of Annie and I curled up together. She leaned over, pressing her lips against mine and I reached up to cup her cheek with the hand that wasn't resting on our daughter's back. When she pulled away, feeling the stir of a no longer soundly sleeping four year old, I looked over to the nightstand when I smelled the cup of coffee she'd placed there for me. Beside it was a paper wrapped bouquet of sterling roses and daisies, Britt's own silent way of reminding me how loved I was.

"Morning, Mama." Annie grinned, not lifting her ear from where it rested against my heart, but reaching out to hold Brittany's hand. "How come everybody wants to lay in _my _bed today?"

"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Did you want us to leave you be?"

"Course not." She moved off of my body and wrapped her arms around Britt while I reached for my coffee, humming happily into the first sip. "I like when we get to snuggle."

"So does Mamí." Brittany stage-whispered. "But don't tell anyone."

"S'okay, I don't think she's very good at keeping that secret anyway." Annie bounced up and down in Brittany's arms, both of them smiling in my direction.

"You're right." I laughed, ticking Annie's belly before squeezing Britt's hand. "I'm not. But that's okay, only two people in the whole world are lucky enough to get some of my _awesome _cuddles."

* * *

By the time we finally got up out of Annie's bed (after playing several dozen games of I Spy, reading two chapters of our book and listening to Annie talk endlessly about school-something I would _never _ask her to stop), it was much later than I would have liked to start our morning. We seemed to be moving slowly and lazily throughout the day, but I couldn't even complain, some days were just made for slow and lazy. The three of us made the long walk over to Whole Foods, Annie standing on the end of the cart and Brittany pushing, with me quickly working through the list when we finally got there. We fought through the ridiculous crowds of people (seriously, it was like everyone in the city felt the need to grocery shop at _exactly _the same time), and once we were home and the groceries were put away, Annie and Brittany settled themselves on the floor of the playroom with Legos. Tearing myself away, I went into the office, using the slight twinge of anxiety I felt to fuel me towards _finally _finishing the one remaining page in the manilla folder.

It was over an hour before I'd signed my name, proofread everything I'd written and sealed the pages in a large envelope, ready to be sent off first thing Monday morning. There was something symbolic about it for me, finishing the grant application that could possibly make my dream a reality on the same day that I once thought all of my dreams had shriveled up and died. Feeling a slight pounding in my head (day three of withdrawal from _anything _was the worst- although, considering the other things I'd withdrawn from, caffeine was easy, it wasn't completely void of consequence), I pinched the bridge of my nose and leaned back in the chair with my eyes closed. Without opening them, I felt Brittany's presence in the room as she came over and sat down on my lap, softly pressing her lips between my eyes, using her touch to soothe the ache there.

"Are you okay, San?" She asked, concern thick in her voice.

"Just a little bit of a headache." I told her, still not opening my eyes as she placed soft kisses on each lid. "But I finished the application, I can send it out on Monday."

"That's awesome!" She bounced a little bit in my lap and I opened my eyes with a smile, catching her lips with mine.

"I know. Sorry I spend part of our Saturday shut up in here, I just felt like I needed today to be the day that I finished it, you know?"

"Absolutely. And now that the paperwork is out of the way, you can really work on the things that you want to."

"Yeah, I mean I'll have a ton more paperwork to do eventually, but I can't really do much else without knowing whether or not I'm going to get the money to even officially start. I mean, Finn's school has been great, and I'm so excited about my first session next month, but I'm just ready for it to be _bigger. _I could really use the help of someone who actually knows what they're doing, you know?"

"You're going to get the money. It's such a great thing that you're trying to do, and there's really nothing else like it out there. Obviously, having objective counseling sessions doesn't work for so many kids, they need someone in the trenches with them, and _you _can do that."

"Let's just hope they see it like that. I think that the people that run these grant programs like to see things that are tried and true. Maybe something novel isn't what they're looking for." I sighed, my biggest fear about the entire project being that I would never get the money I needed to actually get it going somewhere, never get the accreditation so other schools just gave me a chance.

"I really believe that there are people out there who will take a chance on you. Everyone's had their own struggles, and I think there are a lot of people who have seen that the traditional ways of dealing with things just don't always work. And more than I believe in them, I believe in _you_, Santana, I know that you can make anything happen." She rested her forehead against mine, repeating the words that she'd said to me twice before. "And you've still got two tricks up your sleeve if you need to use them."

"I guess. I mean, I know that Rachel and Mercedes both told me they'd use their celebrity status to help, but it's just something I really, _really _want to do on my own."

"I know honey, but it's still you, even if you do ask for their help. But for now, let's just keep believing that those old guys who review the grants are going to send you a big, fat check." She smiled into another kiss, and I felt myself smiling back.

"Thanks, Britt. I needed to hear that. Where's Annie?"

"She fell asleep basically in a pile of Legos while we were building our zoo. I brought her up to bed, figuring I'd let her sleep, since she'll probably be up late with Brice sleeping here. Are you ready to practice having two kids overnight?"

"I am." I laughed. "But I _think_, if Annie's still sleeping, you and I should get some rest too."

"I love that idea. And maybe your head will feel a little better after you take a nap."

"Yeah, just a few more days and this damn caffeine withdrawal will go away."

"You know I appreciate you giving up your last vice for this, right?" Brittany stood up from my lap and took both of my hands, pulling me up with her.

"Oh no. I still have one last vice." I winked. "And _you_ are one that I'll _never _give up."

* * *

After we were able to nap for over an hour and I took a hot shower to take the final edge off of my headache, Annie was bouncing around the house, _so _excited about her sleepover with Brice. When I came downstairs, dressed in just sweatpants and one of Brittany's long t-shirts (I loved that I felt _no_ need to get dressed up for Finn and Rachel), I scooped her up in my arms and carried her into the kitchen with me. Just as I'd settled her up on the counter to help me start making dinner, the doorbell rang, and she nearly jumped off, itching to be the first one to get to the door. After setting her back on the floor, she ran to Brittany, who'd just finished her own shower, and hopped up and down, waiting for her Mama to open up the door. I stood in the doorway of the kitchen, smiling as Finn scooped her up in the arm he wasn't holding Brice with.

"Hi Bricey!" She shrieked, kissing his cheeks in the same way that Brittany and I did. "Hi Uncle Finn! Hi Auntia Rachel!"

"Hey there Annie. Someone's excited tonight!" Finn chuckled.

"I missed you _so _much!" She hugged Finn tightly as Brittany took Brice from his arms.

"Oh sweet boy, look how big you're getting." Britt carried Brice over to me and I wrapped my arms around both of them.

"Brinny, S'tana, I gets to sleepover today!"

"We're very excited to have you sleep over Brice. I hope you're ready for all kinds of crazy Lopez-Pierce fun." I blew a raspberry on his chubby hand and he laughed hysterically.

"C'mon!" Annie called, hopping down from Finn's arms and dragging him toward us. "Let's go play!"

Once Finn brought the kids into the playroom, looking like a giant sitting in one of Annie's small chairs, Brittany, Rachel and I went back into the kitchen. Before I could stop her, Rachel engulfed me in a hug, not saying anything, and I hugged her back, just as hard as she was hugging me. She knew better than to make a big deal, but I wasn't going to stop her from expressing her emotions toward me. After she finally pulled away, I awkwardly shuffled over to the refrigerator to take out the raw chicken, while Brittany pulled the breadcrumbs out of the cabinet. Rachel sat down at the counter across from us, and Britt and I worked in sync, breading the chicken for dinner.

"Thank you both so much for taking Brice for the night, it's been awhile since Finn and I have had any _alone time._"

"We are always glad to take him." Brittany said earnestly, but my meddling mind was trying to figure out what exactly Rachel meant when she said _alone time_.

"Time out, what exactly do you mean by _alone time?_" I asked, cutting off the rambling she began about still being grossed out by raw meat, even though she'd given up her vegan status when she was pregnant with _the carnivore baby _and craved hamburgers all day, every day.

"You know..." She trailed off, her face reddening.

"Okay, you're not sixteen anymore, you're married with a kid, we're all aware you have S-E-X." I spelled out, teasing her. "No need for euphemisms."

"How long is a long time?" Brittany asked, before I had a chance to.

"Well, you know, Brice keeps me really busy." She sighed.

"Answer the question, Berry. Are we talking less than once a week here?" My eyes widened at the thought and Rachel covered her face with her hands.

"Oh my God, San." Brittany gasped. "She _is._"

"I don't really want to discuss the specifics of my intimacy with my husband with two people who I'm almost positive are all over each other _much _more than what is considered normal."

"Hey, we've had dry spells before." I argued, and Brittany elbowed me in the ribs with a smirk. Okay, _true_, four days was _probably _not considered a dry spell.

"What, three hours?" Rachel laughed and I rolled my eyes at her.

"No, seriously. We want to help, how long has it been?" Brittany asked again, giving her that magic Brittany look that made anyone do what she asked of them.

"It'sbeenfiveweeks." Rachel mumbled, dropping her head to the counter.

"You haven't had sex in _five weeks?" _Brittany shrieked, and Rachel looked like she wanted to disappear. "Man, your water bill has to be _crazy _high with all the time Finn must spend in the shower!"

"Rachel Barbra Berry-Hudson, take your husband and get out of our house right now!" I yelled, not even able to control my laugher, as hard as I tried.

"You can't kick me out of your house!" She protested.

"Oh yes I can." I quickly ran my chicken coated hands under the sink and moved over to the cabinet, throwing a box of Luna Bars in her direction. "You've been uninvited to dinner. Eat these in the car on the way home. I'm not going to let you sit here and eat chicken cutlets with us, when you have much more important things you should be _doing._"

"I can't help that I'm tired all the time, Santana. And I'm afraid Brice is going to wake up at night and need me."

"Rachel." Brittany said softly, catching my eyes and telling me that she probably didn't need us to make her feel bad about something she was clearly embarrassed about. "We're tired a lot too, and we're not saying you need to have sex every day, but there are some things in your marriage that are really important. For Brice's sake, and your own, you can't just let things get in the way of that. A happy marriage takes work, and I'm not saying you're not happy _now, _but sex is a _big _part of that. Sometimes it's hard for us too, to make time, but it's important that you do. There are some things that you can only share with Finn, and it's not fair to either of you to let that fall to the side."

"It's just hard, and it's not like I don't want to." There were tears in her eyes, and I actually felt bad about teasing her. "I'm just not great about balancing everything."

"Listen, Rach. What I'm about to tell you doesn't leave this kitchen, okay?" I looked at her expectantly and she nodded. "I had a really hard time at first, with the idea of locking our bedroom door, of not being completely at Annie's beck and call, especially when she was really small and sick, but you know Britt has always been able to get me to open up and talk about things. The first time the baby made noise over the monitor while we were having sex, I couldn't have jumped out of bed any faster, right in the middle of going-"

"Um, can you please skip _that _part?" Rachel asked and Brittany giggled.

"Okay, fine. Anyway, I left Brittany totally high and dry all because the baby had the hiccups in her sleep. She never even woke up, I was just that neurotic. We ended up having a really long talk about it, and Britt had already done all kinds of research because she _knew _how crazy I get about things. The point is, if Brice really needs you, that's _totally _fine, but he'll be _three _in January, you can't _think _he needs you with every single whimper, and you can't put aside your own needs and the ones you share with Finn. And I'm not kidding about you being uninvited to dinner. Your son is out of the house for the night, it's a good opportunity for the two of you to talk about this, and an even _better _opportunity for you to do more than talk."

"Well what am I supposed to do, go in there and drag Finn home so we can have sex?" She furrowed her brows and I raised my eyebrow in her direction.

"Why not?" Brittany grinned. "If Santana did that, I'd think it was totally hot."

"Santana _has _done that." Rachel laughed, the red finally fading from her cheeks. "Neither of you are ever very sneaky."

"My point, exactly." Brittany nodded sagely. "No shame necessary around here."

It took another five minutes of coaxing before Rachel worked up the courage to go tell Finn that they were leaving, and another ten of her ridiculously long (as if I had any right to say that, considering) goodbye to Brice. Once they were finally out the door and the kids were situated back in the playroom, Brittany and I went back to the kitchen to finish cooking dinner. Before I could turn on the skillet to cook the chicken, Britt pushed me up against the sink, pressing her body against mine and kissing me deeply. I stood up on my tiptoes, winding my fingers through her hair and pulling her impossibly closer to me. When we finally broke apart, she burst out laughing and I followed suit.

"Seriously." I could hardly get the words out, I was laughing so hard. "The next time Kurt makes some comment about lesbian bed death, I'm telling him that the name has been changed to _heterosexual I had a baby almost three years ago bed death. _Seriously, there's no worry of _that _around here."

"San." Brittany tried to scold, but she was nearly doubled over, hiccups escaping her throat. "How did _we_, who formerly had the biggest mess of a relationship, become everyone's advice givers?"

"I don't know, but after all we've taught Finn and Rachel, there should be a whole album's worth of songs dedicated to us at their fiftieth wedding anniversary."

"Be careful what you wish for, babe. Our's comes first, and unless you want the whole night to be the Rachel Show, you might want to keep those thoughts to yourself."

* * *

After feeding the kids dinner, neither of us could get them to calm down. Rather than continue to try, we sat back and watched the two of them whooping through the house, playing (the completely politically incorrect) Cowboys and Indians. I was pretty sure that Brice had _no _idea what was going on, besides trying to keep away from Annie, who was pretending to ride a horse in her efforts to capture him. But still, he _absolutely _adored playing with her, and when she finally caught him (seriously, I'd never seen a baby run as fast as he could) the two of them collapsed on the floor in hysterics, Annie tickling him and his laughter spurring her on. It was one of those things I loved to see, _needed _to see, my daughter interacting with her best friend in such an uninhibited manner. I knew that she was still struggling at school with making friends, and I'd been keeping Callie's suggestion in the back of my head. As they crawled around (having switched to playing Cats and Dogs), I was one hundred percent sure that Finn and Rachel's son _was _the ticket to helping her feel comfortable. Even if I wasn't supposed to be projecting my own life onto her, I thought it _was _relevant that I'd had Brittany to do the same thing for me. If it hadn't been for my wife, I _never _would have even spoken to any of the people who were now my closest friends, never would have come out of my own bitch masked form of shyness.

"Mamí!" Annie cried out, breaking me from my thought process. I looked down and saw Brittany crawling on the floor with the two kids. "Come play with us! Mama's a cat with Bricey and you can be a dog with me."

"Meow!" Brice cried out, and I dropped to my knees on the floor beside Annie.

"Okay, _mija_, how does the game work?"

"We gotta catch the cats!" She shouted, and then dropped her voice to a whisper. "'Cept we're not gonna eat them, we just wanna be their friends. They don't know that yet though."

"Do we have a strategy?" I asked, knowing Annie's games were usually pretty well planned out.

"Nope, not this time. We just gotta figure it out as we go along." I felt the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth, not sure if I was taking Annie's words for more than what they meant or not. "Kay?" She asked, and I nodded. "Ready! Set! Go!"

Brittany and Brice took off, and Annie and I followed them, with my daughter always looking back every time she got ahead to make sure that I was still following. We took turns with which of the other two we caught, before Brittany (who cried out that cat's are much sneakier than dogs) turned the tables and decided to pursue us instead. After nearly forty-five minutes of the game, the four of us had collapsed in a pile on the throw rug in the middle on the living room. Britt's head was on my shoulder and she had a very sleepy looking Annie tucked under her arm. On my chest, Brice was still wriggling, a never ending ball of energy, and I rubbed his back softly before he hopped up and was off and running again.

"Bath time!" Brittany called out, standing up and shifting our barely awake daughter onto her hip.

"C'mon Brice! You heard Aunt Britt, let's go get you in Annie's big bathtub!" He stopped for a moment, looked at me and shook his head.

"No bath, play!"

"Nope, _chiquito_, it's getting late." I moved slowly toward him, knowing if I ran, he would too. "We'll go play in the tub, and then it's bedtime."

"Why?" He whined, and I shook my head to let him know he wasn't going to fool me with that game before quickly capturing him in my arms. He probably had about ten pounds on Annie, even if he was still a good two inches shorter than her, and I struggled against his wriggling body.

"Annie's coming in with you, buddy." Brittany soothed, seeing how difficult it was for me to hold him.

"MyAnnie comes too?" He pursed his lips, trying to decide if that was a fair trade off. "Hmmm. Okay,"

We managed to get the two of them in the tub, Brice splashing everywhere and Annie getting riled up again by his excitement. When we finally pulled them out (both of them wrapped snugly in Annie's bright gold towels, Brice in Brittany's arms, Annie in mine) we had them dressed in their pajamas and settled down into bed. Immediately, Annie wrapped her arms around her friend, and he snuggled into her. Taking our usual spots on either side of the bed, Britt smiled over at me, both of us enamored by just how sweet they looked tucked in together. After reading _One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish _(which Annie had chosen because it was Brice's favorite), they both had fallen asleep and we both kissed them good night. Quietly, we retreated to our bedroom, but we weren't in there two minutes before Brice's little voice came over the monitor.

"You wake?" He asked in a two year old's best version of a whisper. "MyAnnie, you wake?"

"Shhh, Bricey, it's sleeping time. No poking." She answered him, her sleepy mumbles barely coherent.

"Not tired. We play?"

"Tomorrow. S'bedtime now."

"Should we go in there?" Britt asked and I nodded, both of us smiling at how sweet they sounded.

"Kid might look like Finn, but he's _all _Rachel, completely relentless."

Making our way back down the hall, we opened the door to see Brice still poking at Annie, who had covered her face with Milky Way and was desperately trying to sleep. When he saw the two of us walk in the room, his face lit up and he scooted over to the edge of the bed, bouncing slightly.

"G'morning!" He cried out, and I couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm. "Lights on!"

"Still nighttime." I told him. "You haven't gone to sleep yet."

"Mommy's here?"

"No, Mommy's home, just me and Aunt Britt."

"Oh." His face fell and I realized he was nervous about being separated from Rachel. As tears sprung to his eyes, Brittany moved over to the bed and picked him up, cradling him close to her.

"It's okay, buddy. You have all of us here with you. We'll see Mommy and Daddy in the morning." She whispered to him.

"Sing a song?" He asked, and I looked over to Annie who'd drifted back to sleep.

"Let's bring him downstairs, Britt. I'll sing him a few songs and then he'll be out."

Carefully tucking Annie back under the covers and giving her another soft kiss on her forehead, I followed Brittany out of the room and down the stairs. As it turned out, a few songs did _not _put Brice to sleep. His tired eyes stayed wide open except when he occasionally cried into Brittany's chest for Rachel (a far cry from the boy who wanted to move in with us just a month earlier), as Britt sat beside me on the piano bench holding him closely. When I was just about to pull my hair out, and possibly get in the car to take Brice home so he wouldn't be so upset (although I _really _didn't want to walk in to whatever was going on out in Brooklyn), an idea struck me. He _was _Rachel's son, and when all else failed to calm _her _hysterics down, there was always the final solution. As soon as my fingers began to play the first few notes, I saw the smile play on Brittany's face as Brice visibly relaxed.

"_Mem'ries, light the corners of my mind. Misty water colored memories of the way we were._" I sang, and tried _not _to laugh at the song I was singing to get Rachel's son to sleep, tried not to laugh that it was actually probably the most depressing song of all time_. _Everyone always thought _Don't Rain on My Parade _was her favorite song, but after knowing her as long as I had, I'd learned that _The Way We Were _was her _actual _favorite, and it didn't surprise me in the least that she'd probably been singing it to Brice since he was in utero."_Mem'ries, may be beautiful and yet what's too painful to remember, we simply choose to forget. So it's the laughter we'll remember, whenever we remember the way we were._"

* * *

By the time I'd finished the song, he'd finally fallen asleep, his deep breathing indicating that he was out for the night. While Brittany carried him up the stairs again, I made a quick pitstop in the kitchen for a bottle of water and a godawful vial from the refrigerator. Finally making it into our bedroom, I set the vial on the dresser and quickly swallowed a pill before collapsing on the bed, completely exhausted in spite of the mid afternoon nap I'd taken. When Brittany came into the room, I hardly lifted my head up from the pillow.

"Shit, Brittany, Rachel isn't kidding when she says Brice is exhausting! I love that kid, but I don't know _what _they're putting in his Cheerios in the morning."

"I know. It's almost ten o'clock and we _just _got him to bed. How tired are you?" She asked and I lifted my head, noticing that she was standing at the foot wearing just her tank top.

"Not too tired to notice that you aren't wearing any pants. And _definitely _not too tired to do something about that."

"Good." She gave me a playful smile. "That's what I was hoping. But you know what we have to do first. You can consider _this _your reward if you behave."

"Ugh, I'll try. But maybe you should take your shirt off too, you know, for some extra incentive."

Grinning, Brittany pulled her shirt up over her head and grabbed the syringe from the dresser, sitting completely naked on my thighs. Quickly, she swabbed the spot on my lower abdomen (I _hated _that we had to do it in a different spot on my midsection each time, by the end of the three weeks, I was going to look worse than I had after I thought I could take on Lauren Zizes) and held my hand over my eyes with her own while quickly jabbing the needle into the skin. As was expected, I let out a small yelp, but I didn't complain _too much _once she covered up the spot and made quick work of tossing my pants on top of her shirt on the floor. Without bothering to remove mine, she covered my body with hers, and before I knew it, she was pressing featherlight kisses against my throat. It had been a long time since she felt the need to pay special attention to that spot, but on the night it was, she just needed to take her own moment of silent remembrance.

There was no teasing, no long buildup, just the two of us physically pouring our love into each other's bodies. At some point, my shirt came off, and with Brittany on top of me, I could feel the trembling heat of her skin everywhere. Our eyes locked and our lips fused together as we picked up a rhythm, our bodies knowing each other's so intimately that we no longer had to even _try _to come at the same time. As soon as Brittany was close, my own body responded to that without my control, and I crashed over the edge with her, each of us swallowing each other's desperate cries. Falling on top of me, pinning my body beneath hers, I felt so completely covered and safe, our panting breaths mingling together as we worked to find words again. I wasn't sure how long had passed, but my arms had locked tight around Brittany's lower back and she pressed a sweet kiss to my forehead, her hair forming a curtain around us.

"I know that we don't make a big deal out of today." She whispered, cutting through the darkness of the room. "But I just want to make sure that you're okay."

"I am, I'm more than okay, actually. Eight years ago, I was in the deepest, darkest hole I could imagine, but I've been out of that hole for so long now and I feel like I'm climbing some kind of beautiful mountain, this one where you can just keep getting higher and higher forever- you know, if the idea of climbing a mountain didn't make me want to put on sweatpants and lay on the couch." I let out a small laugh and she shook her head against me, her smile lighting up her face. "Seriously though, all this day has become is a reminder that once you make it through the worst, everything else feels so, _so _much better."

"Good. I'm still so proud of you Santana."

"Thanks, Britt. I love you, so much. And I wouldn't want anyone else to be beside me on this climb to the top."

"And I wouldn't want to be anywhere else." She promised, and our lips met again. "I love you."


	7. Chapter 7-Maybe Baby

**Author's Note: Once again, a HUGE thank you for following and favoriting this story. And an even bigger thanks to Blueskkies, pictureofsuccess, Chuckleshan, Anonymous, AlabamaMiles, lg4az, ishlheard2day and mocblue for your always lovely reviews! **

* * *

They say time flies when you're having fun. Turns out, time _also _flies (and thankfully so) when you're having gigantic needles full of burning liquid jammed under your skin every three days. It seemed like we'd hardly blinked an eye and we were already sitting back in Dr. Singh's office, waiting (not so) patiently for her to come in with the defrosted (I'm _sure _that wasn't the actual word for it, since it basically sounded like I was taking a steak out of the freezer, but I wasn't sure of what the fancy scientific word for it was) embryos. I'd suffered the last week on the hormones, as I'd expected, considering my _wonderfully _cooperative body just _loves _to freak out on itself at any given opportunity, and I lay there on the table feeling slightly achy, and _extremely _glad that the air conditioner was still on in the room, since I'd spent eight days feeling like my body was on fire. I wasn't complaining though, honestly, and Brittany knew that as she sat beside me, one hand clasped with mine over the medal on my chest, the other holding on to her own. I knew the orange baby booties were tucked into the side pocket of my wife's purse, and she'd kissed just above my belly button (and above where the ugly bruising stopped) _four times_ for good luck. So, so badly (especially since I'd developed the unfortunate habit of reading about other people's repeated failed IVF attempts on the internet) we wanted this to take, wanted the last member of our family to be safely growing inside of me, as soon as humanly possible.

I closed my eyes, sighing softly as I rested my free hand on my stomach, practicing the visualization techniques that I'd learned so many years earlier. It wasn't that I believed in it entirely, but I didn't really believe in praying to dead saints or magic shoes either, I was just hedging every single bet we had. Brittany and I both knew the odds were good, I appeared to be pretty fertile, I was barely twenty-nine (my birthday had passed a week earlier with a quiet dinner with our friends, beautiful pictures that Brittany had done of Annie, and the stunning rose gold solitaire diamond bracelet that adorned my wrist-my wife _knew _that more than I loved bling, I loved her beautifully unique taste in jewelry), and this was _going _to happen. As the door to the room opened, I felt Britt give me one last soft kiss, and I felt her smile, felt her own positive thoughts begin to course through my body.

"Good morning ladies." Dr. Singh announced her presence, sounding even more enthusiastic than she normally was, and I managed to open up my eyes. "Who's ready to make a baby?"

"Oh, we both _definitely _are." Brittany chirped, and I tapped my fingers against the back of the hand that was still holding mine, a silent agreement to her words.

"Excellent! So, here's what's going on, after your embryos were thawed, it looks like we have only one that appears to be developing properly."

"Well." I tried to laugh off my nervousness, but sounded kind of like I was choking. "I guess that means we know we won't be having twins then."

"Never say never." Dr. Singh smiled. "But since there are no identical twins in your family or the donor's, I'd say your odds are pretty low."

"Okay." I said quietly, and Brittany soothingly massaged the palm of my hand with her thumb. "I mean, we've done a lot of research, and doesn't this decrease the odds like, a lot."

"Honestly, considering your age, and that this is your first cycle, not all that much. What's more important is that your body is prepared, and that you do exactly what you're supposed to do for the next few weeks. When you leave this office, I want you to act like you're already pregnant. Get a lot of rest, eat well, no heavy lifting, minimal stress." Brittany caught my eye and she gave a slight nod, ready to ask the question we'd been debating for days.

"What about Annie? She weighs twenty-seven pounds, and we _do _both still pick her up. I'm concerned about that, concerned about Santana doing anything that might be dangerous for her." Britt asked the doctor, and received a soft smile in return.

"Listen, I've had women in here who have two year olds as big as your daughter is, and I tell them all the same thing. Women have been having babies for as long as humankind has existed. Carrying around your kids is an inevitability, and your body will tell you when you can't do it anymore. If you leave here today and the embryo takes, eight months from now, you'll probably feel like you can't. But until then, you're fine to continue most of your normal everyday activities." She assured us, and I smiled gratefully. We had every intention of waiting a decent amount of time before telling Annie what was happening, until the risk of miscarrying reduced significantly, and I _really _hadn't wanted to abruptly take something important away from her without explanation. Maybe she was getting too old to be carried around (Kurt, much to my ire, called her Suri Cruise _all the time_), but physical closeness comforted her, and I was so glad it could continue.

"Perfect." The relief was evident in my voice and I could hear Brittany exhale her own.

"What other questions do you have for me?"

"Can I-" Brittany stopped, her face reddening, and it was my turn to reassure her, knowing that this was something that was really important to her, and not sure why she was so embarrassed by it. "Can I see the embryo, you know, before you do the transfer?"

"Of course you can. I mean, it's not really much to see, but it's actually a pretty common request. Let's go take a look."

Brittany squeezed my hand again and I released it, urging her to go check out the weird mass of cells that were growing in some kind of vial. Before she did anything else though, she took out her phone and snapped a picture of me, hair spread out behind me, trying to hide my grin for the camera. We were obsessive about documenting things, I was well aware of that, but this could potentially be a _huge _day, and she wasn't going to miss a photo opportunity for the world. Putting her phone back in her pocket, she gave me a quick kiss on the forehead before going over to join Dr. Singh. While I lay there with my legs spread, ready to just get this whole thing going, Britt stood over the doctor's shoulder, a gigantic smile on her face like she'd just seen the sun for the first time as she stared down at cells that looked like absolutely nothing, cells that could grow to be another _everything._

"Hey there." She said, her voice almost a whisper. It didn't matter what the internet said about not getting too attached, for Britt, talking to an embryo as if it was already a live baby was something she _needed _to do, something I'd never take away from her. I could feel the pricking behind my eyes, knowing the tears were coming at how beautiful she looked standing there so sincere and full of love for the _idea_ of another baby. "I know you're like, not a real person yet, but to me, to _us_, you're already so real. I want, so badly, to be your Mama, and if I am, that means you have to listen to me, right? I promise you that your Mamí will keep you safe inside of her, I mean honestly, I wish I could be inside of her all the-"

"Brittany!" I gasped, horror showing on my face. I heard a small chuckle escape from Dr. Singh's mouth as she busied herself with washing her hands again and putting gloves on. "You can't say that to the maybe baby!"

"Oh my God! I didn't mean it like that San, I swear! I meant like my whole body curled up inside of you because you're so warm and snuggly and safe. You know what I _mean!" _The whine was evident in her voice as she got frustrated by her inability to say what she meant.

"Okay, I'm sorry, I _do _know what you mean. And it's really beautiful what you're saying, I'm sorry I interrupted."

"_A-ny-way._" She enunciated, playfully shaking her head at me and looking back into the vial. "As I was saying, before I was _rudely _interrupted by the woman who's head needs to be removed from the gutter, she may be silly, but she'll keep you safe, and I promise I'll do everything to help her with that, and I also promise that if you grow, you'll get to come home to the best place in the entire world. You'll have two moms who will do anything for you, and you'll have a sister who is basically the greatest little girl ever, and she'll love you _so _much. Even if you're a really long way from having ears, I hope you can somehow understand what I'm saying, and I hope that convinces you to do whatever it is you have to do to become a part of our family."

When Brittany blew a kiss, I realized I was weeping openly, goddamn hormones, I swear. Looking around awkwardly, she cleared her throat and returned to her place at my side. All I wanted to do was kiss her face, thank her for saying the words that ran through my head, but that I didn't know how to say. It was true, all of it, and although part of me was so _terrified _by how much hope I felt, the other part knew how to do nothing else. I settled for holding the back of her hand against my lips, both in gratitude and as a balm for the intensity of my emotions, I vaguely registered Dr. Singh talking as I stared at Brittany, both of us so lost in thought that I knew _she _had no idea what was being said either. Luckily for us, the doctor _knew _that we had a tendency to get lost in our own world, and when it was _her _turn to clear her throat, I snapped out of the trance I'd fallen into.

"Everything else is ready, Santana. Are _you?_"

"I am." I nodded, the conviction in my voice covering up the sound of a million butterflies in my stomach, my chest, basically my entire body.

"I love you, honey." Britt whispered in my ear, both of her hands engulfing my folded ones as Dr. Singh inserted the catheter. Only my wife could manage to make something so clinical feel so _intimate_.

"I love you too." I murmured back, kissing her shoulder, the closest part of her body to my face.

"Okay, you might feel a little cramping right now, but that's completely normal." Dr. Singh assured me, and I didn't try to look down to see what was happening. Instead, I focused on Britt's eyes, pretended that _she _was the one getting me pregnant with only the sheer power of the love she had for me, the love that was always so evident on her face, especially when she knew I was at my most vulnerable. I _did _feel the cramping, but I controlled my wince and waited until I felt the catheter being removed before I sighed out my relief.

"Is that it?" I asked, surprised at how quickly it was done.

"That's it." She confirmed, sliding a pillow underneath my hips. "I want you to lie here for the next half hour, and then I recommend staying off of your feet as much as possible for the rest of the day."

I listened intently while Dr. Singh continued to talk about what we needed to do. No sex for three days (although, she claimed I probably wouldn't feel like it anyway), _six weeks _of progesterone shots (I knew _that_ was coming, but it didn't make it _any _better), and a home pregnancy test in twelve days. She then put us down for an appointment in two weeks, either way, her own belief in positive energy stopping her from discussing contingency plans if this try failed. When she finally left the room, I felt _exhausted _from all the information we'd been given, and so antsy at the same time. _Twelve days_, in twelve days we'd know if our lives were going to change forever. Silently, Britt placed another kiss on my stomach, _more _good luck, before coming back up to my head and working her hands through my hair, massaging my scalp each time she reached the roots.

"Are you feeling okay?" She asked.

"Yeah, I'm good." I breathed, a strange giggle escaping with it. "Just _weird _that it's done and now we just have to wait."

"Patience really isn't either of our strong suits, huh?"

"No, it definitely isn't. I was seriously just trying to calculate how many hours away twelve days was."

"Two hundred eighty eight." She said quickly, and I raised my eyebrow, making her laugh. "What? Multiplication is my super secret talent."

* * *

When we left the doctor's office, we took a cab back home (and Dr. Singh had to remind Brittany that she'd recommended I'd stay off my feet, not go on complete bed rest, and that there was absolutely _no _need to carry me out to the cab), and Britt insisted on making me lunch before going to the pharmacy and then to pick up Annie at school. I protested for about thirty seconds, claiming that I could still make lunch for myself while _taking it easy, _but Brittany knew (even if I _still _refused to admit it) that I secretly loved being fussed over. While I lay down on the couch (with the pillows Britt had brought down from our bedroom) she made grilled cheese sandwiches and then curled up beside me to eat before she had to leave. I hated that I couldn't go with her to get Annie, but I _was _exhausted from the previous night's anxiety filled insomnia, and I _was _planning on following even the slightest suggestions from the doctor. If she thought I should stay off my feet for a day, I would, and I _knew _Britt would make sure of that anyway.

So Brittany left me with my iPad, the TV remote, a glass of organic pear juice and a prenatal vitamin (I'd already been taking them for three weeks, another of Dr. Singh's suggestions), tucked under an afghan (because Susan Pierce _may _have been the only person left in the world who still crocheted seasonal afghans, and was constantly sending us new ones), and sort of feeling like the Queen of Sheba. I decided to distract myself from the obsessive baby thoughts that I knew I'd be having until we had an answer, and focused on checking my e-mail. There were two new ones from students of Finn's (which made five all together!), one from a girl named Andrea, simply letting me know that she'd be at my meeting the week after next, and one from a boy named Jacob, who was struggling with coming out to his strict Orthodox parents. I'd responded back to him that I'd be happy to set up a time to chat, to help him figure things out, and then started to feel overcome by exhaustion. I knew Britt was planning to bring Annie to the park, more so than anything because she thought I should take a nap, and I'd hardly closed my eyes before falling into a deep sleep.

Halfway through a weird dream, where I was running by myself through a field full of obscenely colored animals (and I hadn't watched _Alice in Wonderland _since high school), the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. After checking the caller ID, I tossed it back on the table and had almost fallen back to sleep when it rang again. After repeating that cycle thrice more, I _finally _answered the thing, feeling more than a little bit frustrated.

_"Dios mio, Mamí. ¿Què te pasa?" _I groaned. "This is the fifth time you're calling me. I'm trying to take a nap over here."

_"Lo siento, mija. I just wanted to see how today went and how you're feeling."_

"We won't know how today went for two weeks, Ma, I told you that when I talked to you _this morning. _At 6:15. The last time I was trying to sleep. Listen, if this is going to be one of those _call Santana every hour _situations, I'm changing my number."

_"I'm just excited, Santanita. I spoke to Susan and she hadn't heard from Brittany either so-"_

"Because we were going to call you both _later. _After I got some rest, and got to spend some time with my daughter. I love you, Mamí, and I'm so happy that you're excited, but remember how crazy the incessant phone calls drove me when Britt was pregnant? I'm not even _pregnant _yet and I can tell it's going to drive me significantly _more _crazy."

_"Okay."_ She said, sounding dejected, and I suddenly felt bad for overreacting on her._"I'll talk to you later then?"_

"No, Ma, I'm sorry. You know how I am when I get woken up. We can talk now, hold on." I pushed myself up into a sitting position and took a sip from the juice on the table. "Okay. Let's start over. _Hola, Mamí, _how are you?"

_"I'm well, Santana. How are you?" _She laughed at my use of a Brittany _do-over, _something my wife insisted upon whenever we got off to a rough start on something.

"I'm exhausted, I was nervous and didn't sleep well last night. But everything went fine at the doctor's office. It's in there now, hopefully attaching in my thickened uterine wall, which all of these lovely shots are responsible for."

_"Well good, I'm very glad to hear that. I lit candles for you and Brittany this morning."_

"Thanks." I snuggled back under the blanket, returning to my lying down position after I'd finished my juice. "Listen, I do want to talk to you, Mamí, but I also want to at least get a _little _bit of sleep before Britt gets home with Annie. We'll call you later though, after Annie is asleep and we can talk."

_"Alright mi amor, I'm sorry I woke you from your nap, but I'm glad today want well. I love you."_

"_Te amo." _I murmured, ending the call and tossing the phone back on the table, knowing that it was going to be a _long _year, but also knowing that secretly, I was _so _glad to have my mom calling to check on me, so glad for how close we'd grown.

* * *

Thankfully, there were no more phone calls (seriously, one of the many reasons we'd only told our moms about Operation Baby, they were bad enough) and I managed to get an hour of semi-restful sleep. When I heard the front door lock click (I _was _a ridiculously light sleeper), I opened my eyes slowly, and when they walked in the door, I could hear Annie crying softly and Brittany whispering to her. Alarm shot through me, like it always did at the sound of tears that were _usually _easily solved, and I sat up quickly. Before I could get up to meet them in the foyer, they appeared in the room, Annie's face buried against Brittany's chest.

"Is she okay?" I asked, keeping my voice calm so I wouldn't startle our daughter.

"She is." Britt nodded. "We just had a little bit of a fall. And I _promise _you, it looks worse than it is. You know how much my nose used to bleed."

"Mamí, I'm bleeding." Annie cried, and when she picked up her head, I was _extremely _glad that Brittany had semi-prepared me for the sight. Partially dried blood was mixed with tears coating her cheeks, and both her's and Britt's shirts were speckled with the remnants of it.

"Oh, _mija_, what happened?" I sighed, we were no strangers to small injuries, but it still sort of broke my heart every single time.

"Here baby girl, go to Mamí while I get you something for your face, okay?" Brittany kissed the top of her head before releasing Annie into my open arms. She wrapped her arms around my neck, and I held tightly to her for a few minutes before she looked up into my eyes, her small ones still glistening with tears.

"I broke a rule." She said quietly, a small pout on her lips.

"What rule did you break?" I asked, rubbing circles over her back and carefully wiping away her tears with my free hand.

"I was running on the subway grates." She hiccuped out a sob, and I held her closer to me. There wasn't even anything I could say about her breaking the rule, she'd _obviously _had her fair share of punishment in the injury to her face.

"Annalisita." I whispered, brushing my lips against her temple as I spoke. "That's why we have that rule, it's _very _dangerous to run like that, and it makes Mama and I so sad to see you get hurt."

Brittany came back into the room carrying a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a dish towel and a wet washcloth. Having been a dancer for her whole life, she knew that frozen vegetables worked _significantly _better than those ridiculous, overpriced kiddie ice packs that stayed cold for about forty-eight seconds before being completely useless. She _also _knew a real injury when she saw it, so whenever she told me that Annie was okay, I believed her (and she'd saved me from embarrassing myself _dozens _of times when I'd wanted to go to the emergency room over small bumps). I was so, so grateful, basically all the time, that she was the level headed one while I had the natural inclination to panic first and think after. I watched adoringly as Annie kept one arm wrapped around my neck while Britt held the back of her head, wiping the blood, checking for the beginning signs of bruising, and then cradling her head in the crook of her elbow as she pressed the makeshift ice pack against her swollen face. She winced at first, the cold causing a chill to run through her body, and I tucked the afghan that had been over me around her. Gradually, sated by the soft caresses of her Mama's hand on her cheek, Annie's whimpering stopped, and she fell asleep in both of our arms.

"Hey." Brittany smiled at me, noticing that I hadn't stopped staring at her. "Enjoying the view?"

"Always. Especially when you're all calm, cool and collected and in superhero Mama mode. It's actually really sexy."

"Oh yeah, that's me, the new Superwoman. My secret weapon? Frozen peas. It's _crazy _sexy, blood covered shirt and all."

"Stop, you're making me sound like such a creep." I laughed, careful not to disturb Annie's nap.

"You _are _a creep, San. But you're _my _creep." She twisted her body just enough so she could kiss me. "How are you feeling? Did you get to nap?"

"I'm fine, don't worry WonderBritt-Wonder Woman is _way _hotter than Superwoman, and I don't even know _anything _about comic books. I did get some sleep, after I finally put an end to the nonstop calling of my crazy mother. You know she's probably been on the phone with _your _mother half the day, right? I swear, it's like they feed off of each other."

"They absolutely do. I actually spoke to both of them, my mom said to give you a hug for her, since she didn't want to call after Maribel said you threatened to change your number."

"_Five _times, babe. She called me five times in a span of twelve minutes. And I _was _nice to her after I calmed down a little bit. It's just-" I bit my lip, debating whether or not to say what had been haunting my mind all day, still, despite an infinite amount of growth, uncomfortable with my own silly insecurities, but I'd _promised _Britt that I'd talk to her about anything that was bothering me throughout this whole process, and if I was struggling, we'd go right back to the couple's therapy that we'd _finally _stopped a year earlier. Brittany placed her hand over mine and nodded, urging me to continue. "I know that we told them so we'd have them to talk to, but this tiny mass of cells has been living in my body for only a few hours, and I'm already starting to freak out, like there are all these expectations on me, and I don't want to let anyone down."

"Santana." Britt ran her pointer down the side of my cheek and cocked her head to the side, considering her words. "I know that you're a control freak, and I know that more often than not, you carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders, like you have the power to just _will _things your way. It's really, really cute and endearing so much of the time, but when you start beating yourself up over things you can't control, over things you don't even _know_ the outcome of, I worry, a lot. Can I ask you something?"

"Of course." I breathed, and she looked down to check that Annie hadn't stirred.

"If it was me, would you be sitting around thinking that I was going to let everyone down if I didn't get pregnant?"

"No." I admitted quietly, seeing where she was going,

"Sometimes you hold yourself to these impossibly high standards, ones that you'd never hold anyone else to, and ones that no one else holds _you_ to. San, honey, you're going to make your head explode one day with all the overthinking. This is the way I see it." She fully cupped my cheek and I looked deep into her eyes. "If we have a baby nine months from now, this is the baby we were meant to have. If it takes however many more shots you want to give it, then _that _is the one we were meant to have. And if we _never _have another one, then we're just meant to have Annie. The only expectation I, or our mothers, or anyone else has for you is that you take care if yourself. I know that you can't always control your anxiety, but when it starts to get to you, can you just try to remember what I just said?"

"Yeah, Britt." I dropped my head to rest on my shoulder. "I'll try, I just get really tripped up by my own mind sometimes."

"I know. But can I just tell you something else? I _love _that you just opened right up and told me this. I _love _that I don't have to pry the thoughts out of your beautiful head anymore."

"Listen, I wish I could promise that I wouldn't need your reassurance throughout all of this, but I know that I'm going to. I swear, these hormones make my mind that _already _fixates on things even more fixat-_ey."_

"_Fuck you, _**_hormones_**_." _Brittany whispered, even though Annie was most definitely still asleep, quoting _Knocked Up_, and I felt some of the tension release from my chest with a genuine laugh. "Seriously though, we can reassure each other. I know that there are things that you have a total grasp on that I might freak out about. We're a _really _good team you know."

"I do know." I titled my head back, asking her to kiss me, and she met my request.

"Also, just so you know, Annie was _really _excited to tell you something, before her fall on the sidewalk. But I can't tell you what it is, because it will _totally _ruin it for her."

* * *

I tried, for the next hour, to get Annie's big news out of Britt, but she wouldn't budge. Honestly, if I'd thought that she _would, _I probably wouldn't have tried. Hearing our daughter tell us something that excited her was the _best _thing in the world, and the twinkle in Brittany's eyes told me it was something that I'd be really thrilled about. When my wife stood to go make us some tea, and I shifted back into a lying down position, resting Annie completely on my chest, I thought she would wake up and I'd get to hear, but instead, she only stirred slightly and then let out a tiny snore, indicating that she was still in a deep sleep. After Brittany had changed her shirt and we'd finished our tea, we were discussing the dancer she'd been working with for six months, and who she'd recommended to Mike Chang to bring on the Britney Spears Comeback Tour (for her what, twenty fifth comeback?). Mike had offered it to Britt, like he had for many tours, repeatedly over the years, but what had once been her dream held absolutely no allure to her anymore. Truth be told, as the respected choreographer that she was, being a tour dancer was a _major _step down, and even if it _wasn't_, her life was in New York, Annie and I were here (even if I _had _insisted, every time, that we'd make it work somehow if she wanted to tour), and she wasn't uprooting any of that for long grueling hours with a washed up celebrity (Britt's words about her former idol, _not _mine).

"Mama." Annie spoke against my neck where she'd buried her head, breaking our conversation. "You weren't s'pposed to let me sleep 'til after I told Mamí what happened at school today."

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Brittany bit her lip to keep from laughing at how sweet she sounded. "But the Sandman must have been close by, because you fell asleep before I even had a chance to stop you."

"Uh oh, Annie, you better tell me quick, in case he's still close by." I warned playfully, and she lifted her head quickly.

"You're silly, Mamí. He can't be close by because I'm _very _awake now. But _guess what _happened at school today?"

"What happened?" I asked, and Annie looked to Brittany, both sets of blue eyes shining with so much excitement.

"Miss Callie, she said we were going t'learn a new song, and then she asked if anyone already knew it. And guess what song it was?" Her smile was gigantic and she didn't even wait for me to respond. "The _Mister Sun _song, your _favorite _song. And guess what _else? _My hand forgot how to stay down, and it raised up so Miss Callie could see that I already _knew _that song. And guess one more thing, really guess it Mamí!"

"I have no idea, _mija._" I felt like I wanted to bounce up and down with her at all the excitement. "Tell me."

"Miss Callie asked me if I wanted t'come sit next to her while she played her guitar and sang it, and I _did. _And I even sang very, very quietly in front of _everybody!_"

Emotion choked the words away from me, and I wrapped Annie in a hug, rocking her back and forth to show her just how excited I was. Honestly, if I wasn't in an incredibly happy marriage, and if Callie wasn't totally straight, I would have wanted to find her and kiss her in that moment. My sweet, wonderful baby girl, the girl who was too shy to even smile at a stranger at the playground, had let her entire class watch her sing a _song_. Part of me wanted to video tape this, to tell people that music really _did _work, and the other part wanted me to call her teacher at home and thank her for _getting _it. But the biggest part won out, the part of me that wanted to just hold her, hold Brittany and revel in what anyone else may have seen as the smallest of accomplishments, but that was really so _huge._

"I'm sure you sounded absolutely _beautiful, _Annalise." I told her, once I'd finally found my words again. I didn't even _care _that she'd been in school for a month and hadn't spoken to anyone else, she was doing things on her own terms, and that was perfectly _okay._

"I think maybe, just _maybe _we should celebrate tonight." Brittany looked at me, and I nodded vigorously, feeling like so much of my earlier anxiety had faded with our daughter's amazing news.

"How are we going to celebrate?" Annie asked, as Britt pulled her back onto her lap, wanting another hug.

"Well, since we're all already laying on the couch together, I think we should order dinner from wherever you wherever you want, and we'll put on a movie, and then make ice cream sundaes."

"Oh, Mama! That's your most genius idea _ever!"_

"I may just have to agree with you on that." I laughed, resting my hand on my wife and daughter's that were clasped together.

After we'd ordered from Uncle Ted's (the oddly American sounding Chinese restaurant that we _loved, _even if I did sometimes complain that _nothing _beat Happy Palace where I'd ordered from for six years in our old neighborhood), we turned on _Toy Story _(which I always pretended not to cry during), and Brittany lay down behind me on the couch, Annie snuggled up with Milky Way in front of me. Occasionally, I felt Britt absently stroke my stomach, and I'd managed to resume my positive thoughts about what was to come. When Annie fell asleep right around the time Woody and Buzz made their great escape from Sid's house, I thumbed carefully over the light purple circles under her eyes thatv had formed from the fall, and stroked her little blonde head. I could feel Brittany watching me, and knew that we were both remembering how every single day of her life, she made _me_ believe in miracles. Because of that, I couldn't help but hope that just be being pressed up against my stomach as she was, she'd somehow encourage _another _miracle to take root.


	8. Chapter 8-The P-Word

**Author's Note: So, I ****_did _****manage to get another update out before I left for my trip. Yay? Thank you much to Brittana4Life3, snixx-tana, naynay1963, Chuckleshan, lg4az, ruby-may89, AlabamaMiles, Puff614, mocblue, ishlheard2day and StephaniieC for your reviews. You guys are awesome! :)**

* * *

According to Brittany (and the rest of the world); the October weather was completely unpredictable, unseasonably warm one day and unseasonably _freezing _the next. For my body though, pumped up on even more hormones, there was only one temperature, the face of the sun (and yet that _didn't _mean that I didn't sometimes experience completely unnecessary episodes of chills). I felt like if I could walk around naked all the time, I would have, but in an effort to act as normally as possible, I _attempted_ to dress for the weather, even if it meant on the colder days that I was stripping off my jacket by the time I made it halfway down our block. I left Britt to the task of picking out Annie's clothes, after I'd dressed her on the third day after the embryo transfer in a sundress and sandals, and it was fifty-nine degrees outside. Honestly, the whole process of being on those shots was _kind of _a mind fuck. My boobs hurt, I had headaches, I felt a little nauseous, and for all intents and purposes, I felt completely _pregnant. _But I knew it was the drugs, _knew _that I couldn't let myself believe it until the four different tests (four was Brittany's lucky number, four was how many people would be in our family when we had another baby, so we were doing everything we could in _fours_) that we'd stashed in our bathroom confirmed it. It was a major waiting game, and (encouraged by my terrible mood swings), I felt like I was just about ready to climb the walls.

Just like they did every October, Rachel and Kurt planned their annual excursion out to farm country (or, what used to be farm country on Long Island, before hotels, outlet malls and tourist traps slowly began to encroach on it). If I thought it was absurd _before _Rachel had Brice (I did), then it had escalated into full on ridiculousness in the time since. But truth be told though, I absolutely _loved _it, loved that Annie (and this year, Brice, since I think he was finally old enough to get it) could run screaming through open fields, loved that they could marvel in wonder at pumpkins and apples growing right in front of them, loved that we could all partake in the silly seasonal traditions at the farm, I just loved _all _of it. Before we started the drive out, Britt picked out _my _clothes (we both knew that the neighborhood busy bodies who'd planned the thing would question even the smallest inconsistency in my dress, and I'd get flustered by that) and insisted on driving while I nearly disrobed beside her, unbuttoning my jeans, ripping off my sweater and essentially pressing my entire body up against the air conditioner vents. Occasionally, Britt would send me an adoring look, or pat my thigh lovingly, and I'd feel like I could melt, but not from the heat. Thankfully, Annie was oblivious to the whole scene, alternating between singing along to the radio and chatting happily about seeing Brice and Baby Eden.

While we pulled into the parking lot and Brittany and Annie raced to see who could spy any of the others first, I pulled the burnt orange cashmere sweater (which Brittany _may _have spent an obscene amount of money on, considering I'd probably only wear it one day a year, but she knew that the thought of wearing wool made my skin crawl, and it was basically in the rules of the day that we had to dress _fall festive_) back over my head and slipped the shoes that I'd semi-violently kicked off somewhere around the Queens/Nassau County border back on. We'd found a spot right beside the Hummels (I'll admit, all of us were shocked when they'd chosen Kurt's name-and _I _was supposed to have stopped stereotyping-but it actually made complete sense, Blaine's dad kind of sucked and Burt did _not_, so they may as well carry on the better name, or whatever) and after I took Annie, wearing a candy corn printed dress, leggings and high top orange Converse, out of her carseat, she launched herself at her uncles, getting quickly scooped up by Blaine as she laughed at his bow tie that inadvertently matched her dress. Brittany came up behind me, smiling at the scene in front us as she wrapped an arm around my waist and I leaned into her touch.

"We're really lucky." I said, a lump forming in my throat with too much emotion. "Goddamn it, seriously Britt, I feel like I'm about to cry over Warbler and Annie matching. And _not_ in the way that would have made me want to cry a few years ago."

"We _are _really lucky." She tilted my head so she could give me a kiss, knowing that it was always the best way to calm me down. "Quick, say something sarcastic and you'll feel better."

"I can't even _think _of anything sarcastic. I love all these weirdos way too much." I laughed, shaking away the tears that threatened to form.

"Yeah, so do I-" She started, and then noticed Rachel and Finn walking toward us with Brice dressed in a full-on pumpkin suit, and she burst out laughing. "Okay, you have anything _now_?"

"Rachel Barbra Berry-Hudson!" I called out. "Are _you_ trying to outdo _me _in the how cute your kid is dressed contest? Because I special-ordered Annie's shoes on the Internet for today!"

"So super badass, San." Brittany whispered, her teasing laugh tickling my ear as I swatted her playfully.

"Bricey!" Annie cried out, wriggling out of Blaine's arms and struggling to wrap her arms around the puffy pumpkin suit.

"I think it may possibly be a tie." Rachel smiled, and I shook my head, despite knowing that she was absolutely right. Together, they were even cuter than either one of them could ever be alone.

"Pickin' punkins today, MyAnnie." Brice giggled when Annie finally got her arms around him, attempting (without success) to lift him up, and Britt pulled her phone out of her back pocket to get some pictures of them.

"Mama, Mamí!" Annie cried out. "Look! I already got the bestest pumpkin in the whole farm!"

"Well." Britt grinned, squatting down to their level. "He _is _very cute, and _very _big for a pumpkin, but I think we _might _have trouble getting him to stay on our porch, and he _probably _wouldn't like being turned into a Jack-o-lantern, would you Brice?"

"Not Jack Lantern, Brinny. Me Brice Chris'opher Hu'son." He beamed proudly at the use of his whole name.

"Oh that's right." Brittany played along, and I put my hand on my hip, discreetly letting my fingers tap against my stomach, passing on, for the thousandth time, that silent hope. God, watching my wife with the kids never failed to make me love her a thousand times more. "Well Annie, looks like the search is still on for the perfect pumpkin. This one just won't do at all."

While Annie and Brice ran around between the six of us, we all exchanged hugs and greetings while we waited for Quinn and Archie to arrive. It was the first year they'd be joining us, and I was glad Britt was finally able to convince her best friend to come. I assumed it had been hard for her, to be around the kids in all their Halloween glory, when she was trying so desperately for one of her own, but with Eden finally filling that void inside of her, I _knew _my wife would be able to cajole her into our crazy family day. When they finally pulled into the parking lot, I immediately grabbed Eden, dressed in a black cat printed sleep-and-play and a matching hat (complete with ears!), from her carseat and cuddled her against my chest. I caught Brittany looking at me the same way I'd been looking at her moments earlier, and I shrugged sheepishly at her wide smile.

"Auntia Quinn!" Annie ran over to us. "Can Eden come with us to find the most perfect pumpkin?"

"That sounds like a _very _serious job for a girl as small as Eden." Quinn smiled, bending down to pick Annie up for a hug. "Do you think she can do it?"

"Course she can! Me and Brice can help her."

"Alright then, Miss Annie, that sounds like a plan. I'll just have to steal her back from your Mamí so we can get going."

I reluctantly released Eden back to Quinn, who buckled her into the carrier on her hip. Annie quickly grabbed my hand, dragging me toward Brittany. I was so incredibly distracted, despite how much effort I was putting into staying present, but I kept trying to shake my thoughts away, kept trying to focus on what was already right in front of me. Of course, Brittany noticed, and while Finn and Kurt led the kids toward the bouncy house that was set up right at the entrance to the pumpkin patch, she took my hand, and led me toward the bathroom beside it. Once we were locked inside the handicapped stall, she gave me a few quick pecks on the lips and immediately began digging through her purse.

"Do you want to do it right now?" She asked, resting her hand against my cheek and pressing the box in the other. "I know you said you wanted to wait until tonight, but I brought one just in case you changed your mind."

"Ugh. Britt. I don't know. I feel like my brain is all over the place, and I just want to focus on _today. _Everyone is so excited and I just keep thinking about _this._" I told her, pressing her hand flat against my stomach. "Tell me what to do."

"I can't, Santana. This is totally your call. But I will tell you this, because I know you, if you take that test now and it's negative, you're not going to be able to enjoy the rest of the day _at all_."

"Okay. Okay. You're right." I scrunched my eyes closed tight for a moment, and Brittany tightly wrapped her arms around me. "I'm done freaking out. I can't take it right now, I just need to go back out there and get my shit together. And I'm still really fucking hot."

"Oh, I know you are." She winked and I rolled my eyes as she pulled my sweater up over my head and cracked one of those disposable icepacks, that she'd miraculously procured from her purse, before running it over my shoulders and chest.

"What did you rob a pharmacy or something?" I laughed, peering into her bag and noticing two more ice packs and some anti-nausea drops. "What's next, some iodine? Condoms?"

"I don't think condoms are of any use to us, babe."

"Oh good God!" I heard from outside the door and my eyes widened. "Are you two seriously having sex in here right now?"

"Go away, Quinn." I whined, Brittany biting her lip to keep from bursting out laughing as she rubbed the ice pack over my stomach and lower back. "We're just talking."

"In a bathroom stall, right." I could hear the annoyance in her voice, and I quickly thrust the pregnancy test into Britt's bag and put my sweater back on before opening the door. "Honestly, you couldn't go a few hours without getting it on?"

"Please don't say _getting it on_, Marvin Gaye. _No one _says that."

"Regardless. The only time I ever had to sneak off into a bathroom to have sex was when I was trying to get pregnant and we got stuck one of the many _never ending _Judy Fabray charity benefits _right _when I was ovulating." Quinn sucked her teeth and I felt my cheeks turn red at the one word in the sentence that I had latched onto. _Shit._

"Quinn, _please _shut up." I was shocked that the words came from Brittany and not from me, but I hadn't really been able to formulate a coherent thought since Quinn said the _p-word._ "You know we haven't snuck off to have sex in _years, _not since we've had a _child._"

"Okay, fine." She conceded, and then looked at me with her forehead scrunched. "Are you okay, Santana? You look a little sick, and really flushed. Oh my God, are you-"

"Keep your voice _down!_" I yelped, before she could say the word and Brittany pulled me into her, soothingly rubbing circles up and down my arms as I buried my head in her chest. I'd thought Patti and Barbra were the ones who'd piece things together first, but Quinn had managed to do it with hardly _anything _to give it away. Seriously, sometimes she was better than _me._

"We don't know yet. She could be." Brittany said quietly, knowing that there was no point in lying after my reaction. "But we weren't really planning on telling anyone that we're trying, so if you could just-"

"You guys." Quinn's face softened as she cut Britt off. "You know I've been there, and I _know _that the most annoying thing in the world is for everyone to keep asking you how it's going. I won't say a word, and when we walk out of here, I'll act like I don't know this until you're ready to tell everyone, either way."

"Thanks." I told her, the word muffled by Brittany's shirt. "I didn't want to have to shove you again."

"Yeah, let's maybe _not _relive _that _awesome day." Quinn shook her head. "Besides, you wouldn't dare with me holding my baby."

"Psht." I looked up at Britt and she giggled. "I _knew _inventing baby immunity would come back to bite me in the ass eventually."

* * *

After Quinn left us alone in the bathroom, I quickly got myself together, Brittany adjusting my sweater while I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and splashed cold water on my face. I'd resolved to push all other thoughts aside, resolved to go back outside and just act like a normal _person _for a few hours. We'd only been gone fifteen minutes, but the minute we walked out of the door, our hands clasped tightly, Annie bounded in our direction, her hair coming lose from one of her braids and her cheeks red from bouncing up and down.

"You're finally back!" She threw her arms around my legs, and I knelt down beside her, quickly re-braiding her hair and kissing her flushed cheeks. "Come _on! _Uncle Finn's gonna pull us in the wagon!"

"He's going to pull _me _in the wagon?" I joked and Annie looked at me very seriously.

"Well, Mamí." She considered it. "If you wanted to take a turn in the wagon with Bricey, maybe Mama could carry me 'nstead."

"I was just teasing, _mija._" I smiled and her eyes lit up, glad she didn't actually have to give up her spot, despite her offer. "Go jump in."

Finn pulled the wagon deep into the pumpkin patch, where Rachel _insisted _there were better pumpkins. While the kids shrieked with every bump they hit (and Eden echoed them) the rest of us fell into the easy rhythm of conversation. Finn was far up ahead of us with the kids, Archie and Blaine had somehow fallen behind, lost in a horribly boring conversation about stock portfolios (Blaine dabbled in day trading, and the Chapmans had a pretty serious portfolio themselves- I kind of always knew Quinn would end up being the wealthiest of all of us. Even if it meant basically trading the M.A in Psychology that she'd so wanted for the M.R.S. that her mother sent her to school for, _I _totally wasn't judging) and Kurt and Rachel were having a heated discussion about who should play Elphaba in the upcoming _Wicked _movie, the role Rachel had turned down because she was _strictly a stage actress._

"I still say that Anna Kendrick would be absolutely stunning, not as stunning, of course, as Idina Menzel was, or I would be, but a solid choice, nonetheless"

"Absolutely _not, _Rachel. She was _okay _ten years ago, but never as good as you make her out to be." Kurt argued.

"Seriously." I interjected, usually content to stay out of their musical theater arguments. "I mean even when she went through that blonde phase, she still did _nothing _for me. And I have a thing for blondes, one, in particular."

"Thanks, baby." Britt stole a kiss and swung our hands between us.

"Your girl-crush on her baffles me, Rach. She looks like a weird bird lady or something."

"Wait, time out." Kurt turned around to face me, hands on his hips. "Are you now recycling old insults, old _Sue Sylvester _insults, and applying them to new people?"

"It's appropriate. Shut up, Hummel Doll."

"Oooh, _that's _an original one." He chided. "Sassy."

"It's _kind of _my career path to _not _act like a super bitch all the time, you know." I huffed. "And I can't help it that I have taken some kind of strange liking to all of you in this weird band of misfits over the years."

"Says our Sapphic Queen herself." Rachel smirked and Kurt let out a snarky laugh.

"Do you see why I feel the need to make fun of everyone?" I asked Britt, and she squeezed my hand. "It's eat or be eaten around here."

"Well personally, I'd prefer if they all left the _eating _to me." Brittany quipped, effectively shutting Kurt up as he gave both of us a dirty look.

"And you _wonder _why I think the things I think." Quinn muttered under her breath and I jokingly elbowed her in the arm, knowing she wouldn't touch me back.

"Anyway, my choice is Samantha Barks." Kurt said to Rachel, and the two of them went on listing the merits of their respective choices, and I tuned them out, catching up to Finn and high-fiving both Annie and Brice in the wagon.

When we finally reached an area that was deemed appropriate (the pumpkins literally all looked exactly the same to me, but at least there weren't swarms of other people around so far out), Finn stopped the wagon, and he and Brittany pulled the kids out. In spite of Dr. Singh's insistence that I'd be perfectly fine lifting Annie, Britt was quick to make the first move when she could, and I let her, knowing that I'd be doing the exact same thing if our roles were reversed. After piling the kids up on pumpkins (Annie grasping on to Eden for dear life, terrified to drop her, when Quinn asked if she wanted to hold her) for pictures, Finn swung Brice up on his shoulders and we all kind of split off into our own familial groups. Following Annie's lead, the three of us traipsed off in search of this elusive pumpkin that she had in her mind. With our daughter skipping through the uneven dirt, it was inevitable that she would trip, but before she could hit the ground, replacing the bruises that had just faded with new ones, Britt instinctively caught her.

"Not a day goes by where I don't think about the irony of her name." I laughed.

"Thanks Mama!" Annie threw her arms around Britt gratefully and looked down at the half-rotten gourd that she'd tripped over. "That pumpkin got in my way, and it is _not _my perfect pumpkin."

"We'll find it sweetheart, don't worry." She promised and set Annie back down on the ground.

"Where did she even _get _this idea?" I asked, and Brittany shrugged.

"Read a book about it in school, Mamí." Annie answered my question, looking back over her shoulder.

While Annie continued her search, Britt and I picked out a few small pumpkins that she stashed in the reusable bag she'd pulled out of her purse (I swear, she was like _Mary-freaking-Poppins_ with that thing). After close to a half-hour, I sank down onto a pumpkin, and Britt stood behind me, hands resting on my shoulders, as we watched our daughter get increasingly more frustrated on her quest. Finally, after she'd kicked the ground several times irritation, we silently made the decision to put an end to the game that was _clearly _no longer fun for her.

"_Mi amor, ven aqui, por favor." _I called out to her and she put her hands on her hips, shaking her head sadly.

"I can't, I _need _to find a pumpkin." She yelled back to me, and I stood up, Brittany walking in stride with me as we closed the gap between us.

"Maybe we can help you find it, Annie." Brittany told her, removing a hand from her hip and taking it between her own. "Can you tell us what you're looking for?"

"I don't _know._" Annie stomped her feet, chewed on her bottom lip and sighed. "I just know it needs to be _perfect._ I cannot find the one that I want here!"

"Well do you have any idea what it looks like?" Britt tried again, while Annie shook her head violently and I could see the beginnings of tears in her eyes from the frustration of not being able to express what she wanted.

"Okay." I sat down on another pumpkin and pulled Annie onto my lap. "Mama, pull up a pumpkin, we're going to have a little chat about the _p-word_."

Britt laughed a little, knowing it was not the only _p-word _that was pervading the thoughts of a Lopez-Pierce, and rolled another pumpkin up right beside us. She pulled Annie's feet up into her lap, not caring about the dirt from the bottom of her little shoes getting on her jeans, and rested her hand on my thigh, probably knowing _exactly _where I was going with this.

"Once upon a time, in New York City." I started.

"Like the song!" Annie interjected.

"Well, sort of. Anyway, once upon a time, in New York City, there lived a woman who'd spent most of her life believing that she needed to be perfect. All of the things she tried to do with her life were just so everybody _else _thought that she was worthy. But the woman, she was very, very far from perfect, and that scared her very much."

"Did she get a spell to become perfect?" Annie asked, and I realized that she was using the word without fully knowing the meaning.

"Do you know what perfect means, _mija?_"

"It means the best in the whole wide world." She said, raising her eyebrows in hopes that her answer was right.

"Not really. But that's what the girl in the story thought too. What she didn't realize, was that there's no such thing as perfect. Everybody, every_thing _has bumps and bruises, maybe a pumpkin has a teeny, tiny hole in the top, or it's not the same shade of orange as all the rest."

"So what happened to the girl?"

"Well, after six years of living in New York City, trying to be something she could never be, the girl found another girl who she loved very much, one that she thought she'd lost forever." I said, completely skipping the entire middle of the story, the story Annie would hear when she's much older. "And it was then that she learned those magic words, _perfect doesn't matter_, her girl, the one she was so lucky to find again, told her that, and for the first time in her life, she really believed it. You don't love someone, or in this case, some_thing_, because they're perfect, you just love them because they're right for you."

"But what about you, Mamí? You're perfect."

"Oh, Annalise, I am _far _from perfect. In fact, I'm the girl from the story, and the other girl, the one who knew the magic words, that's your Mama. And as much as we love each other, as much as we love _you_, we know that when we say the word perfect, we really mean _perfect for me._ Does that make sense?"

"I think so. So, if I want to get a pumpkin that is a funny shape, or has green spots, that's okay, if I love it most?"

"Baby girl." Brittany said, her eyes shining as she looked at the two of us. "You could get any pumpkin you want, and we'd be happy with it if you are."

Annie scampered off again, her steps significantly lighter after ridding herself of the strange specifications that she had for her pumpkin. Brittany rested her hands on my hips, resting her forehead against mine with a smile, and I stood on my toes to sneak a kiss.

"You're the best shade of orange." She laughed.

"Shut up, that was the most disjointed and bizarre story I've ever told our daughter."

"No, it was really sweet, comparing yourself to a pumpkin. I love it, and I love you, _pumpkin._"

Within ten minutes, Annie had found the pumpkin she wanted to take home, one so big that I thought Brittany was going to pull out her back carrying it to the wagon, but with one side slightly flat and brown from the way it had grown. We'd both praised it, telling Annie how absolutely beautiful it was, and she beamed at her _not perfect _pumpkin. With all the pumpkins inside, there was no room for Annie and Brice anymore, so Finn kept his son on his shoulders, and our daughter walked part of the way, and took turns being carried by Britt and Rachel for the rest. Halfway through the walk, I finally pulled off my sweater, having become so overheated in the sun that I didn't even care that I was wearing a tank-top in mid-October. Before anyone noticed, Quinn unzipped her jacket as well, and I shot her a grateful look, actually kind of glad that she was in on our little secret. Rachel may have been my best friend, but sometimes Quinn just _got _me on a different level. I knew that she wouldn't call and ask us about the pregnancy test (and truthfully, Rachel probably wouldn't either, but I knew there'd be a silent expectation on her end) and she wouldn't harp on things. It would _definitely _be a welcome change from my _mother_, who was trying _extremely _hard not to be pervasive, but I knew she couldn't help it.

* * *

As it turned out, we couldn't go into the apple orchard because there was a gigantic hornet's nest right in the entryway, but that didn't stop any of us from spending a ridiculous amount of money at the farmer's market just outside. Brittany and I, in particular, may have gone a little crazy, since it was our first fall owning a house, and we just wanted _everything _to decorate it. After Finn loaded six potted mums, two arrangements of cornstalks, a scarecrow (so _totally _necessary in Manhattan), a basket full of miniature pumpkins (which Annie loved more than _any _of the pumpkins in the patch), fresh produce, pies, and the pumpkins we'd picked into our car, we said our goodbyes and started our drive back to the city. I hadn't realized how exhausted I was until Britt was gently shaking me awake as she pulled up in front of the house. She made quick work of unloading, only letting me carry the smallest things inside, and while I got Annie ready for her bath, she went to drop the car off at the garage and then quickly jumped in the shower.

Kneeling at the tub, I bathed our overtired, overstimulated, and _very _oversugared (which I would be _sure _to repay Kurt and Blaine for when _they _had kids. Freaking sugar cookies, a candy apple _and _an apple cider donut? _Probably _not necessary) daughter, knowing what was coming as soon as she was down for the night. I was both anticipating and dreading it all at the same time, and I lied down on Annie's bed practicing my breathing while Britt helped her get into her pajamas. I couldn't change it, whatever it was, whether I was pregnant or not, but somehow, it felt like _knowing _would suddenly cause a shift in everything I'd been holding onto for three weeks. When my daughter snuggled up beside me, gripping at my tank-top, I inhaled deeply, reminding myself of how lucky I was to already have so much. My voice barely above a whisper, I began to sing the song she'd mentioned earlier in the day, the song that Brittany had taught _me, _and on the first line, Britt had already joined in.

_Now it's always once upon a time_

_In New York City_

_It's a big old, bad old, tough old town, it's true_

_But beginnings are contagious there_

_They're always setting stages there_

_They're always turning pages there for you_

As we sang, our daughter fought to stay awake, one arm flung over my chest, the other wrapped around Brittany's arm, Milky Way tucked in the crook of her arm. I smiled to myself, loving the reminder that in the two laying next to me, I'd really found everything in my life. It may not have been _perfect, _but it was damn sure as close as there was to get.

_Keep your dream alive_

_Dreaming is still how the strong survive_

_Once upon a time in New York City_

_And it's always once upon a time_

_In New York City_

"Love you, Mamí." Annie mumbled, her eyelids heavy with sleep.

"I love you too, _corazoncita, _more than words can ever say."

"I love you Mama, too. Thanks for teaching Mamí her 'mportant lesson so she could tell me."

"You're welcome, baby." She whispered as Annie shifted so she was hugging her tightly and closed her eyes. "There are plenty of lessons I've learned from her that you'll learn someday too. But tonight, my girl, have the sweetest of dreams."

* * *

While Brittany lied with Annie for a few more minutes, making sure she was fully asleep, I carefully slipped out of her bed. I wanted to take a shower, to just feel the water rush over my body for a few minutes before the big news came. When I finished, I took my time drying off, and slipped just a camisole over my head before piling my hair up in a messy bun, brushing my teeth, putting moisturizer on my face, and _finally_, peeking through the cracked door to the bedroom where Brittany was sitting on the chaise reading (or more likely, pretending to read) something on her phone. Before I could say a word, she just smiled at me, giving me the look that told me that I meant the world to her, even when I was my trembly, nervous, fresh from the shower with no makeup on, messy haired self.

"Are you ready?" I asked softly, afraid that saying it any louder would break some kind of spell. She nodded and walked towards me, grabbing both of my shaking hands in hers.

"Come here first." She whispered, apparently feeling the same thing I was feeling, about the spell, and I tucked my head into her neck, letting myself listen to her heartbeat. "Remember what we talked about, whatever happens right now, it's what's meant to be, okay? Promise me that you're not going to beat yourself up if it doesn't go the way we hope."

"I promise you." I said, looking up and into her eyes and then kissing her, really absorbing everything in her mind for an instant, before I felt that tickling _now or never _feeling.

Together, we moved into the center of the bathroom, slowly removing the four tests from their boxes. While I sat on the toilet, Britt handed me one after the next, cautiously placing each one down on the counter. Once they were all prepared (the _only _thing ever that you _prepare _by peeing on), Brittany set the timer on her phone, the _longest _four minutes of the waiting game, and I closed the lid on the toilet, sitting on there, still without pants on. Neither of us said anything, I _couldn't_, and she knew that there was nothing she could say that would work to calm me down. I pressed my hand against her chest as she stood over me, and I could feel her heart racing, feel how nervous she was too. _Please, please, please_, I begged silently, my eyes squeezed shut. It wasn't going to be the end of the world, not even close, if the results weren't what we hoped for, we already _had _the most amazing world, but it still didn't stop be from hoping so hard for another amazing thing. When the timer finally went off, I inhaled sharply, feeling my breath catch in my throat.

"Are you ready?" It was Brittany's turn to ask, and my turn to nod, still not opening up my eyes.

"I can't look. Can you?"

"Yeah." She breathed, and I could hear the quiver in her voice as she kissed each of my closed eyes before gently moving away from me.

When I heard Brittany start to cry, I felt the hope I'd held in my chest smolder, and I couldn't even force myself to look at her. It was okay, we were going to be okay. It was the _first _attempt, but I couldn't help but feel, every single time I heard my wife cry (and it had really been so, so long, something I was _so _grateful for) that the color drained from all the rainbows in the world. I buried my face in my hands, feeling my own tears bubbling up inside, and before I knew it, Britt was straddling my lap, trying to push my hands away from my face.

"I'm sorry, Britt." I could hardly get the words out.

"Oh no, no, no. San, honey." She pulled her hands off of my face and I could see the brightest smile she'd ever worn. "I'm not crying because I'm sad. God, I'm sorry! I'm crying because I'm so happy."

"What?" I gasped as she kissed me fiercely. "I'm-"

"They're positive, all of them are positive Santana!" She reached over to grab all four tests and held them up right in front of my face. "You're _pregnant_. We're having another baby!"

"Pregnant!" I nearly shrieked, laughing and crying all at once, and pulling Brittany's face to mine for another deep kiss as she dropped the handful of tests on the floor and cupped my cheeks, both of us smiling so wide that we could hardly keep our lips together. "You scared the _shit _out of me, Brittany!"

"I know. I didn't mean to. I just, I didn't even know what to do! I saw all these plus signs and I couldn't _not _cry. Our _baby _is inside of you!" She dragged my hands down to my stomach and then dropped to her knees, kissing every inch of skin on my stomach. "I love you, so incredibly much Santana Marie."

"And I love _you_, Brittany Susan." I teased her for the use of my middle name, and hugged her head where it rested against my stomach. "I can't even _believe _this!"

"I can! I _knew _our baby was going to listen to me, and I _knew _they were going to want to snuggle up inside the world's best cuddler."

"Well, the world's best cuddler wants to get her cuddle on with her wife, because I'm _tired._ Come lay with me."

"Anything for you, my beautiful _pregnant _wife." Her grin split her face and she kissed me _again, _her giggles vibrating against me.

Hand in hand, we nearly skipped over to the bed, and Britt quickly stuck me with the needle, and it was the first time I didn't flinch. The moment she lied down with me, she rested one hand beside mine on my stomach, the other over my heart. Our legs tangled together, and my other hand held on to the back of her neck. I didn't feel hot, I didn't feel nauseous or achy, I just felt so unbelievably _happy_. I thought back to the morning we'd gone to Dr. Singh's, and Brittany said she wanted to be inside of me, all the time, and that's how I felt in that instant. I loved her, unbelievably so, she'd already given me our incredible daughter who slept down the hall, and now here we were, another baby _really _on the way. Brittany, _my_ Brittany had helped so many of my dreams come true, and if I could curl up inside her for just a few moments, I absolutely would. In the morning, we'd call our parents, eventually, we'd tell our friends, and when the time was right, we'd tell our daughter, but for a few short hours, it was the two of us, alone with each other and the beautiful, amazing, life changing news.

* * *

**End Note: So, I leave you all with a positive pregnancy test! See you next week, when I'm done getting my tan on! And the song is ****_Once Upon a Time in New York City, _****from ****_Oliver and Company_****, totally the most underrated Disney movie of all time!**


	9. Chapter 9-Just In Case

**Author's Note: I'm back from the land of jumping off cliffs, baking in the sun, and overindulging in pretty much everything! But yay for seven hours of flight time, because I have a pretty fluffy update for you all that is pretty much part two of the last chapter. I know you're all scared I'm going to throw angst at you in this story, but I promise I won't! There will be some small drama (because life is life, right?) but trust me when I say NO MORE ANGST! Santana and Brittany had enough of that for one lifetime! Anyway thank you much to Brittana4Life3, naynay1963, lg4az, ruby-may89, Chuckleshan, AlabamaMiles, Blueskkies, ishlheard2day, pictureofsuccess, SnixBr, snixx-tana, mocblue, TTalks and the guest reviewer.**

* * *

Having known me for more than half of our lives, Brittany was _well _aware that I tended to think more often than I should about the _just in case. _Finding out about my pregnancy was absolutely no different. Although we'd originally planned to call our parents the morning after those _beautiful _plus signs had sent us over the moon with happiness, when we'd woken up the next morning, Britt had noticed my brow furrowed in concern. I _knew _it was ridiculous, I wasn't a complete nut case, home pregnancy tests _very _rarely gave a false positive (although it didn't help when you actually _knew _someone in that rare group), especially when you take _four_, but I needed Dr. Singh to confirm it, needed a _medical professional _to tell me I wasn't going to wake up from an incredible dream, before I felt like I was capable of letting anyone else in on the secret I shared with just my wife. Luckily for me, Brittany was, about ninety-nine-and-a-half percent of the time, one step ahead of my brain, and had told our parents that we wouldn't be able to tell until the Monday _after _I'd taken the tests, the day we had our first _real, I'm actually pregnant _appointment with the doctor.

On the morning of the appointment, Brittany woke up to me standing in front of our mirror with my tank top pulled up to my chest, staring at my flat stomach. I wasn't _exactly _sure how pregnancy time worked (honestly, even after we'd gone through Brittany's pregnancy, and I'd researched excessively, there was so much that still didn't make sense to me), but I _did_ know, that even though the embryo had only been implanted two weeks earlier, I was technically four weeks pregnant. It had something to do with the date of my last period, I guess, not that it actually _mattered _the reason. But my mind worked better when it could latch onto tangible facts, not the worries that by some extremely ironic glitch at the EPT factory, their tests had all become the furthest thing from _error proof. _I saw Britt behind me in the mirror before I heard her (with all her dancer's grace, she could sneak up on a panther, I _swear_), and she moved quickly to me, fitting her body behind mine. As I sank into her warmth (no matter how overheated I felt, I _still _couldn't get enough of her's), she ghosted her fingers over the deep purple patches on my lower abdomen, careful not to apply any pressure, and kissed me just behind my right ear.

"Tell me I'm being ridiculous." I requested, and I watched her smile slowly in the mirror.

"I can't tell you that, because you're _not _being ridiculous, you're just being _you_, and I understand it. Once we tell anyone else, this exists in a completely different realm that just between you and I, just in our safe space. I totally get why you want to hear Dr. Singh tell us that it's real first."

"You're not just appeasing me?"

"Santana." Brittany put her fingers under my chin and tipped it up so I was looking at her eyes in the mirror. "You _know_ I've never been the one to tell you things just because you want to hear them. If you wanted to go get a second opinion after the appointment today, I'd tell you you were being _insane. _But no, wanting a doctor, rather than some weird magic _stick _from the same drugstore where a homeless guy _peed _next to me while I was buying toothpaste the other week to confirm this just seems like good planning."

"Yeah, we're really not going to that Duane Reade anymore." I laughed, feeling some of the tension break up. "I know that I'm pregnant Britt, I can _feel_ it in my heart, or something lame like that, but I need to hear it, you know-"

"Just in case." She finished for me, and I turned in her arms to plant a sweet kiss on her lips.

"I'm awake!" We heard, accompanied by the shuffle of a tap shoe, from outside the closed bedroom door. Brittany pulled down my shirt back down, brushing her lips against my forehead, before she turned to get dressed (I couldn't, with Annie in the room, lest she notice that I looked like I'd been run over by a truck) and I moved to open the door for our daughter.

"Good morning, _mija._" I smiled as I picked her up for a hug and carried her over to sit on the chaise in the corner with me. "How did you sleep?"

"Super awesome, I was _very _tired from our beautiful decorating yesterday."

The three of us had spent our Sunday making use of our purchases at the pumpkin farm (and quite a few more that we'd driven to the Target in Brooklyn for) and decorating the house both inside and out. Scary Halloween would never be something we'd get into, it was bad enough that had to cross the street so not to walk in front of the house four doors down from ours (seriously, it was _wholly _unnecessary to have a mannequin with a knife through the heart and motion activated _Psycho _music, in addition to strewn fake body parts and blood, have some _class _people). But, as I'd discovered when we were designing the house for the renovations, Brittany had a _serious_ hidden flair for design (which Kurt nearly lost his shit over with sheer _joy_), and she'd come up with the beautiful, could have been straight out of _Rachel Ray Magazine_, harvest theme. It had taken most of the day (me, mostly watching, making hot chocolate and simply enjoying how completely taken my wife and daughter were as they ran around in a flurry of excitement), but the end result was _totally _worth it.

"You did a _very _beautiful job, my _favorite _part is the scarecrow wearing Mama's old ballet shoes." I told Annie, and she beamed at my compliment of _her _idea.

"Thank you, Mamí. He looked like he might want to dance, so he _needed_ the shoes."

"I agree." I nodded in faux seriousness, tickling her belly in the process.

"Good morning, baby girl." Brittany came over to us, her hair already pulled up and her dance clothes on, and sat down.

"Morning Mama!" She chirped and climbed over my legs to hug Britt.

"What do you say we go to your room and get dressed quickly? Maybe Mamí will take us out to breakfast before school if we hurry." She winked in my direction and I pretended to think on that.

"Hmm, I don't know. We'll have to see just how fast you can be ready." I teased, and both Annie and Britt scrambled up from beside me.

"You have to get ready too!" Annie called over her shoulder to me as she skipped back out the door. "Can't wear pajamas to breakfast!"

Still laughing, I pulled on low cut skinny jeans (actually grateful for the day I wouldn't be able to wear them anymore) and a long sleeved t-shirt. By the time I'd thrown my hair into a purposely messy ponytail and brushed my teeth, Annie had come back in the room, loving to stand beside me and watch me put on makeup. Once I'd assured her that she was ready fast enough, since she'd beat me, she ran back into her room to kiss Milky Way goodbye, and we hurried out of the house so we would have time to sit for breakfast. Each day, dropping Annie off at school became significantly less heart wrenching for me, and she hugged and kissed us each goodbye before making her way to what had become _her _spot on the rug beside Callie. Britt squeezed my hand as our daughter waved shyly across the circle to a dark haired boy, and I made a mental note to ask for his name, since I knew we were getting close to the point where we'd _have _to try this play date arrangement situation.

* * *

I was surprised that I wasn't a _complete_ nervous wreck when Britt and I got to Dr. Singh's office. Instead, I calmly (well, calmly for me still might be frenzied for most other people) changed into my gown and lay down on the table, jiggling my leg a little impatiently, even though we'd never before waited any longer than five minutes in that office. Brittany worked her fingers through my hair, and it was seriously like some kind of spell came over me whenever she did that. In high school, she had always joked that I was like Lord Tubbington, immediately distracted from everything else in the world at the exact moment she rubbed a specific spot behind my ears while stroking my hair. When the doctor came into the room, I had my eyes closed, but immediately popped them open the instant I heard the click of the closing door.

"Good morning ladies!" She said warmly, and then looked down at my chart and smiled widely. "Four positive pregnancy tests? Well _that _is exciting news."

"We are _thrilled_." Britt's eyes shone as she trailed her fingers over my stomach. "But obviously, we want you to confirm it. Our friend Rachel was one of those freak point-one, or whatever, percent of people who once had a positive home pregnancy test and wasn't actually pregnant."

"Of course, we'll take some blood and double check anyway, sorry Santana."

"Oh, I'll willingly give you my arm for _this_." I felt a slight smirk play at the corners of my mouth.

"Great." She laughed, knowing that I'd probably _still _complain about the needle at some point, although Britt would attest to the fact that my fear had improved _significantly _after getting them every night, _and _working on (mostly naked) reward system. "And then we'll chat, and see if we can possibly get a glimpse of someone on the ultrasound. It's not a guarantee, this early, but a lot of the time it _is _possible to see the egg sac."

"Whoa." Brittany breathed, and I kissed the inside of her wrist, barely daring to hope for something that cool so soon, something we hadn't even _considered _to be a real possibility.

As the doctor drew blood, Britt rested her hand on my upper arm and I still had to look away from the needle. She went off into the other room (thank all that is good in the world for rapid result blood tests) with a nurse to wait for results, and we talked about Brittany's job, the fact that they were kicking into high gear to prepare for their big winter showcase, and the fact that Rick, as much as he loved Brittany, was kind of a moron, and she had to argue with him _every _year about something or another that was related to that night (and she, as the one who could actually _dance_, not sit in an office doing who knows what all day, _always _ended up winning, so I'm not sure why he bothered to start with her). Just as we started talking about what music she was working with (although she _still _kept her own number a surprise, even from me, maybe _especially _from me, since she knew I got so affected by her dancing and basically ripped her clothes of the second we were alone together), Dr. Singh walked back in, results in hand and a big smile on her face.

"Well moms, I can officially congratulate you on the impending arrival of the newest little Lopez-Pierce. You are most definitely pregnant, Santana."

My hands immediately dropped to my stomach (I _swore _to myself that I wasn't going to be one of those pregnant ladies who walked around all day holding their non-existent baby bumps when they were, like, five minutes pregnant, but in private, I just _needed _to do it, needed to feel that someone was inside me already) and Brittany followed suit. I could really believe it now, and it felt like that weird unnecessary anxiety had been lifted from my chest. A few tears spilled from my eyes, and Britt quickly wiped them away with her soft kisses on my cheeks, a huge smile gracing her face in the process. Dr. Singh gave us a moment to mouth our _I love you's _and just take in how _official _the news was before we both looked back over at her, writing down notes in my chart, and she was ready to continue the discussion.

"So, I'm going to project your due date as June twenty-seventh, but because this is your first pregnancy, there's always a good possibility that the baby can come slightly later than that." I appreciated _two _things about that statement. The first being that she referred to this as my first _pregnancy_, not my first baby, she knew that place would always belong to Annalise. The second being that she didn't mention premature birth, she knew that we knew_ all_ about that possibility, and even though it would probably be somewhere in the back of our minds the entire time, we were going into this with the positive, _lightening doesn't strike twice _mentality.

"Another June baby." Brittany marveled, and while you'd think that the control freak in me would have already calculated my due date, I actually hadn't.

"Annie will _love _that." She'd be _five _when our new little one came, it was _so _hard to believe how much time had passed, how much she had grown up, how much _we _had grown up.

We discussed how I was feeling (not great, but not terrible) and Dr. Singh told me that there was a good possibility that I'd get a small reprieve in between the time I stopped the progesterone shots (three and a half more weeks!) and the time the pregnancy symptoms began to kick in. The thing was though, I'd bitched _a lot _about how shitty I felt (both to Britt and in my head) before we'd taken the test, but knowing that everything I was feeling was for an actual purpose made me feel less of an urge to complain. I silently told Brittany as much with my slight shrug, and she responded with a small peck to my right temple. We _both _knew that I wouldn't be held to that, but it felt good to feel that way for as long as it would last.

"Okay, let's take a look inside your uterus, check if there's anything to see yet."

"If there's not, _don't _panic." Brittany whispered so only I could hear her, knowing that I might need to hear it. "Our baby is like the size of a poppy seed, I'm sure that's hard to find."

"I won't," I grinned, positive that it was absolutely true. I trusted Dr. Singh so much, and once she'd said the words _you are most definitely pregnant, _my doubts completely dissipated.

The two of us watched the screen for a sign of the baby while Dr. Singh prodded around inside of me (I _would _be grateful when the time for internal sonograms was over, and she could just rub some some weird blue gel on my swollen stomach and see our baby that way). My heart raced in anticipation, and I reached over to cover Britt's with my hand, the three of us somehow connected that way. She was so excited that she'd nearly climbed onto the table with me, and I felt such a swell of love for her as she softly pressed her lips to the top of my head and an excited giggle escaped from her lips and ticked me there. When Dr. Singh pushed the screen closer to us, I knew she'd found what she was looking for, and if I didn't know better, I'd swear my heart skipped a beat.

"That, right there." She said pointing to something that looked vaguely like a cross between a tadpole and Slimer from _Ghostbusters. _"Is your baby."

"_Dios mio._" I whispered, switching to Spanish like I so often did when I was overcome with emotion as tears began to fall down my cheeks (again). "_Eres real, bebé"_

"This beautiful little tadpole is ours." Brittany wrapped her arms tightly around me, despite the awkward angle I was laying at, and I could feel the wetness in _her_ eyes against my cheek. "Your Mamí is going to take such good care of you until I get my turn to hold you too baby."

"And I'm pretty sure your Mama will be taking care of _me _enough for the both of us until then." I smiled adoringly at Britt and she kissed my nose and then my lips, knowing that was absolutely true.

Dr. Singh let us look at the monitor for several more minutes, and I just felt it so hard to believe, so _strange _that this nearly microscopic cluster of cells, a cluster of cells that would become an actual _person, _would become our _child_, had created a home inside my uterus where they'd live for the next eight months. I couldn't really describe the feeling, but I knew Britt understood without me saying a word, and _I _understood the awe _she _was feeling (although in a slightly different sense, considering it took me a little time to be on board with _her _pregnancy) about the one person you love so much suddenly becoming _two. _It was overwhelming, to say the least, on both of our ends, but overwhelming in the absolute best possible way. When Dr. Singh turned off the monitor, she handed a picture of the tadpole-blob baby to each of us, and I fought the urge to be _totally _weird and hug it to my chest. Seriously, with every passing day of my life, I was turning into a bigger pile of mush, and seeing the words _Baby Lopez-Pierce, Four Weeks _typed above that picture, knowing I was for real growing an actual tiny human made me feel mushier than ever.

"Well, I'm _very _glad to have been able to find this little one on there today. Do you have questions for me?"

"I don't think so." I told her, feeling too overcome to even formulate a coherent thought. . "Britt?"

"Not that I can think of right now, but we're coming back after Santana is done with the shots, right?

"Yeah, I'd like to see you then, and you remember the drill for after that, once a month for the next few months and then closer together as we get closer to June. If anything bothers you in the slightest, call me and we'll get you right in to check things out."

* * *

We made the appointment for two weeks before Thanksgiving and took the 6 train back downtown (where I shook my head playfully at Brittany after she almost hip-checked a guy to block him from pushing in front of her to grab the seat she was trying to grab for me). When we got back to the house (with an hour and a half to kill before I had to go pick Annie up at school and Britt had to go into work for the afternoon) I curled up in the overstuffed armchair and Brittany grabbed her phone from her purse before joining me. I looked at the sonogram picture again, knowing that we _needed _to call our parents before Mamí and Susan exploded, and quite possibly got in the car and showed up on our doorstep demanding answers.

"Ready?" Britt asked, her legs kicked up over the armrest and her arm tucked around my waist as my head rested on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I actually am. Although honestly, we may have _both _sets of our parents moving in with us after they blow through their life savings spending money on _two _kids."

"They really are ridiculous. I guarantee our moms will be at the mall together by the end of the week, getting ready to load up our car when we go home for Thanksgiving."

"Oh, without a doubt." I laughed. "But that's fine, as long as they don't try to argue about doing things any differently than we did them while you were pregnant, no baby shower, no getting all kinds of crazy. Just because the circumstances are different, I really want nothing else to be, Britt."

"I know, and they get that." She worried her thumb over the inside of my wrist and I smiled up at her. It really wasn't something we ever talked about, wasn't something we ever _needed _to talk about, Annie had been mine since the moment I cried after hearing her heart beat for the first time. It was actually so incredibly _rare _that I thought about the moments that had led up to that day, but it _had _been occupying my mind, since I refused to let _anyone _think things were any different because this had been a _planned _pregnancy. From the day I watched my daughter take her first unsure breaths, I knew I couldn't have loved her any more if I'd given birth to her, and having this new, tiny life inside of me, one that I _would _give birth to, only served to reaffirm that.

"Okay, should I go get the earplugs?" I teased, and Britt started dialing a conference call, knowing our mothers were probably waiting with bated breaths in Ohio for our phone call.

_"Hey, sweetheart." _Susan answered breathlessly on the first ring.

_"Hi Brittany."_ My mother came on an instant later, trying to conceal the sound of the excitement in her voice, even though she kind of knew that was would _not _have called if we didn't have good news.

"It's both of us." I told them, actually feeling a little bit giddy at their thinly veiled impatience.

_"Hold on." _Susan said, and then yelled without covering up the mouthpiece of the phone. _"Stephen, pick up the other phone! It's Brittany and Santana!"_

_"Javier! Come in the office! I'm putting the girls on speaker phone!"_

"Nice that we get a _how are you _or something before they start shouting into our ears." Brittany laughed, and neither of our mothers even responded. It took a few minutes before everyone was settled (and our fathers actually _did _ask how we were, while our mothers sounded vaguely annoyed that they had to wait fifteen more seconds before hearing the words that they probably already _knew _we were going to say).

"Okay." I breathed, and Britt held my palm to her lips, encouraging me to tell them. "So, I'm _pretty _sure you've continued to place bets on our lives, no matter _what _we had to say about it. So which of you is owed money for a June baby?"

There was a deafening roar from all four of them (I half believed that we could hear it in New York even without the phones) and Britt smiled so proudly, as if they could see her, before gently rolling me on top of her so she could kiss me fully. I couldn't help but laugh into her kiss while we waited for _any _of our parents to settle down enough for us to speak again. Not surprisingly, I could hear Papí and Stephen begin to shush their wives sometime after my mother began praising _Santa Anna _and Susan was speaking so fast that I had _no _idea what was coming out of her mouth.

"Is everyone done yelling for a minute?" Britt tried to feign seriousness, but failed miserably.

_"Yes!" _Mamí and Susan said (or rather, shouted) at the same time.

_"Tell us everything." _My mother demanded. _"How are you feeling, Santanita? Are you taking vitamins? Are you getting enough rest?"_

_"Are you eating properly? Is the medication bothering you?" _Susan added.

"They're worse than Rachel and Kurt." I told Britt, ignoring their questions until they finally stopped talking over one another. "I'm feeling okay, the hormone shots make me hot and achy and kind of irritable, but it's _all _worth it now. I'm taking vitamins, I'm resting, I'm eating properly, Britt is making _sure _of it."

"And you know we stopped eating takeout for dinner every night like _two _years ago." Brittany added, although we probably still _did _eat it more than our mothers would have liked to hear, but we were New Yorkers, it would be strange if we _didn't._

"Girls, I'm so _happy _for you." Mamí gushed. "Susan, we're really having another grandbaby."

"Nice that they leave us out, Javi." Stephen quipped.

"Dad, they've basically left _us _out." Britt shook her head at me while saying it, and I buried my face in her neck laughing. "Do you maybe want to talk to _each other _and call us back later?"

"Oh, hush, Brittany, and you too Stephen." Susan scolded.

We listened to the four of them (or mainly, the two of them) go back and forth with each other for a while longer, until they offered us another set of congratulations and we finally hung up the phone. Britt and I didn't say much, I honestly felt kind of tired and just wanted to lay with her until we had to force ourselves off the couch. We were snuggled tightly together when the phone rang again, and Brittany held it up to me, showing me my mother's face on her FaceTime caller ID as I rolled my eyes. Mamí knew me so well, knew that my wife was _so _much more likely to answer the phone than I was. I nodded my approval for Britt to answer as I untangled myself from her embrace and leaned my back up against the opposite armrest, my feet still playing with hers.

"_Hola, habichuela."_ Mamí said to Britt, using the nickname she'd given to her years earlier.

"_Hey again baby girl!_" Susan's voice came out of nowhere, and Brittany turned the phone so I could see them both, sitting on the couch in the Pierce's living room.

"Ma, for real?" I shook my head, and the two of them were grinning like crazy at me. "Did you just _drive _over to the Pierce's in the _ten minutes _since you hung up the phone with us?"

"_We wanted to see you, Santanita. Don't be rude._"

"I'm not being _rude_, crazy women! I look exactly the same as when you saw me last month." Britt leaned back over towards me so both of our faces were in the camera and pulled one of my hands into her lap.

"Well I think you look extra beautiful, honey." Britt whispered in my ear, and I felt a blush creeping up my neck. "Should we show them the picture?"

"_You have pictures already?_" Susan shrieked, sounding so much like Brittany when she was excited that I couldn't help but laugh.

"If we show you, can I go back to laying down with my hot pregnant wife? You know, you _were _just telling her that she needs to rest."

"_Can we see your stomach too?_" Mamí asked excitedly, and I groaned, not really wanting anyone to see it. I wasn't like Brittany, totally comfortable with my body, and honesty, there was nothing to see other than the bruises that I was _sure _my mother would list eight-hundred different home remedies for. I tapped on the back of Britt's hand and we exchanged a glance before she spoke up on my behalf.

"There's nothing to see yet. We want to give it a little time until there's something to see before Santana starts disrobing for the camera." I moved closer to Britt, grateful for her saving me, knowing that _she _could say things and make them sound so much nicer than if I did, and she put her arm around my waist again, tapping my stomach, knowing that she'd probably be the only one I was ever fully comfortable with touching me there.

"Okay, fair enough." My mother conceded, and Brittany reached for her purse to take out the picture.

As she held it up to the screen, I had to look again, amidst the tears that were happening on the other end of the video call. After promising to e-mail them a copy, and insisting that I really needed time to rest (although time had dwindled down to fifteen minutes, considering the chatter on both the phone and FaceTime), we were finally able to get rid of them. I knew it was useless to lay back down, so I forced myself up, making sandwiches to bring to school with me so my daughter was ready for her Mamí-Annie afternoon (which I still adored how she thought it was a special treat, even if it was mainly how _all _afternoons went, one of the _greatest _perks of being a work-from-home mom). When I was finished, Britt handed me an extra sweater for Annie (the temperature was dropping consistently lower every day, and since the sun was barely out, Brittany figured she'd need it) and a scarf for me, and we walked over to Sixth Avenue together.

* * *

We both knew it was harder if Britt came with me to pick Annie up before going to work-both because she felt like she'd been missing out on something all morning, and because she'd cry that her Mama had to leave her- so we parted ways on Tenth Street, and I kissed her goodbye, knowing she'd be home later than normal as the days started to tick away until the big night. As usual, Annie ran directly into my arms when I walked into her classroom, hugging me like I'd been gone for months instead of hours, and I squeezed my little girl tightly against my chest, hoping a day would never come where she wouldn't be so happy to see me. I held onto her hand tightly (I _was _trying to not carry her everywhere if she didn't need to be, as much as I would have liked to hold her like a baby until she was full grown) and we walked the eight blocks together to her Occupational Therapist's office like we did each Monday afternoon.

"Mamí?" Annie looked over at me from her tiny chair (okay, maybe I fit into the kid's chairs in the waiting room too, but I didn't admit that to _anyone_) with her big blue eyes. "How come you don't live with _'Buela _and _'Buelo _in Ohio?"

"Well, _mija." _I started, not really sure how to even explain to a four year old about growing up and moving away, especially to a four year old who was especially attached to her mothers. "What made you think of that?"

"Just wondering." She shrugged. "They're your Mamí and Papí, and I live with my Mamí and Mama, and Bricey and Eden live with their mommies and daddies."

"Hmm." It was incredibly hard, given how bright and rational she was. "Well, what about Grammy and Poppy. What if Mama had to live them? How could we all live together?"

"That's a very good question." Annie burst out into laughter, and it wasn't long before I joined in. "Can I live with you forever and ever?"

"_Bebé_, Mama and I want you to live with us for as long as you want. If that's forever, then yes, you can live with us forever."

"So I don't have to have a wife?" She pursed her lips, seriously considering her very, very distant future.

"No, if you don't want to, you don't have to have a wife, or a husband, or anyone. But you have a long time before you have to figure that out, and you definitely don't have to decide now. You never know, not so long ago, I didn't think I'd have a wife either."

"I'm glad you do Mamí. Can I ask you another question?"

"You can always ask me all the questions you want." I promised, unable to help myself from scooping her into my arms.

"Do you think Bricey would be sad if I wanted to have another friend? Since he's my very best friend?"

"Oh, _mi amor, _he wouldn't be sad at all. Look at all the friends Mama and I have, it's okay to have as many friends as you want. Is there someone else who's friend you want to be?"

"Not yet, but maybe soon, since I might not be so scared to talk anymore."

My heart caught in my throat, and I was glad that Aaron, Annie's therapist, came out to get her before I needed to speak again. This beautiful child, this amazing creature who bypassed the emotional intelligence of people ten times her age, yet struggled so hard, because sometimes I truly believed she just felt _too much_ was trying so hard, and seemed to be wanting in more than ever. While she was in the room, I tried my hardest to work on sending out some e-mails, but I was completely distracted (the _hardest _part of being a work-from-home mom) by Annie's seemingly disconnected questions that actually had so much in common. She was still trying to understand how to love people beyond the ones she'd always known, and it actually made _so _much sense to me. Instead of working, I shot a quick message to Callie, knowing that what I'd assumed earlier in the day, about the time being close to give my daughter a small push in the right direction, was absolutely correct.

* * *

It was much later that night, after Annie and I had dinner together (grilled cheese night, whenever Brittany had to work extremely late) and I'd bathed her, after Britt came home in the middle of her getting dressed for bed, just in time for stories and bedtime (she'd missed it only twice in Annie's entire life, it was _not _something that my wife took lightly), that my wife and I lay in our bed together, my head resting on her stomach as she massaged my neck. I closed my eyes, still wide awake, but thinking about the entirety of my day, thinking about how totally and completely lucky I was to be laying with the woman I was. She sensed I was thinking hard, and stopped to rub the worry lines from my forehead, and to massage my temples.

"What are you thinking about, San?" She asked, her voice low and soothing.

"Us, just the you and me part of the expanding _us._"

"What about us?"

"Just the improbability of it all. You know how I get sometimes, all contemplative and stuff. It's just like, honestly, do you know how amazing you are, Britt?"

"I'm just _me_, you think I'm amazing because you love me, I'm just a regular person."

"No, you're so much more than that. Today Annie told me she was glad that I have a wife, and it just got me thinking about you. I'm _so _glad I have a wife, but I wouldn't have wanted one if it wasn't you. Sometimes I swear, I think you're superhuman. Just today, you helped me feel like I wasn't crazy when you were only out of bed for five minutes, I got to hold on to you while we were seeing our new baby for the first time, I got to laugh with you at our crazy moms, you knew the right thing to say when they needed to _calm down_, you went to work, where you _always _kick ass, and then you made it home for our daughter's bedtime and to just lay here in our bed with me. I am so lucky to have you."

"Well if I'm superhuman, then so are you. Today you took Annie and me to breakfast and had both of us in hysterics with the silly impressions you did of a squirrel, then I got to see you be so brave when I knew you were scared at Dr. Singh's, I found out _for sure _that you're carrying our baby, you were nice to our moms, even though I know you were really tired this afternoon, you did your awesome supermom thing all afternoon, you got Callie to give you information on this kid that you managed to figure out that Annie probably wants to be friends with, you made me my _favorite _grilled cheese and then you've been giving me some awesome sweet lady kisses for the past hour. I'm pretty lucky too, babe."

"Can you promise me something?" I asked, lifting my head so I could see her eyes. "I'm scared, Britt, that I'm gonna get all hormonal and start acting like the old scary me, but I want you to promise that you'll never forget that I love you more than anything in the world."

"I'll never forget that, Santana. And promise me, that no matter how hectic our lives get, with work, kids, and everything else in between, that we'll always find time for just me and you, talking like this, letting each other in, all of the things we've built our life on."

"Always, you're stuck with me until we're old and wrinkled and the only thing I remember is the beautiful girl with the blue eyes who stole my heart."

"Oh, God." She giggled, and I silenced her with my lips before she pulled away with a smirk. "Let's not relive your weird _Notebook _obsession of 2011."

"No, no reliving _The Notebook _obsession, our story is _way _better. And there's no way I'd ever forget you, not even in a million years." I crawled up so most of my body was touching Brittany's and grabbed her cheeks before pulling her in for a deep kiss. "I love you."

"And I love you, even if you go all crazy pregnant lady on me. I know who you are in here." She tapped her fingers against my heart, and I let myself melt into her body, knowing that the feeling was totally mutual.

* * *

**End Note: Perhaps you'll get Halloween ON Halloween? We'll see what I can make happen this week :) **


	10. Chapter 10-The Great Pumpkin

**Author's Note: Happy (early) Halloween! It's actually funny that the timeline of this story worked out perfectly, right? Enjoy! And as always, thanks to Blueskkies, holip, AlabamaMiles, Chuckleshan, mocblue, lg4az, ishlheard2day, and naynay1963 for your lovely reviews. Stay safe if you're celebrating tomorrow!**

**Updated 10/31 so you no longer want to gouge your eyes out from the parenthesis fest! Never edit when you're tired, everyone!**

* * *

Three days before Halloween, the morning sickness I'd been waiting for kicked in. I knew Brittany was afraid I'd start freaking out if I continued to spend so much time reading _The Bump_, but I _wasn't, _actually, I was just being a control freak, just trying to be the best pregnant lady I possibly could, and I couldn't do that without completely understanding what was happening inside of my body at any given second. I'd been in Starbucks, waiting fifteen freaking minutes for an iced passion tea lemonade. As much as I'd always sort of hated people who felt the need to order something fancy instead of drinking coffee like a normal person, but those ridiculous pink drinks were my secret obsession (one that only Britt was privy to) even before I gave up caffeine. It was the smell of a godforsaken pumpkin spice latte that sent me shoving an old man out of the way to get into the bathroom before I puked all over a basket of Kind Bars. I was in there about fifteen seconds when I lost my breakfast, and probably my dinner from the night before, then _possibly _left Brittany a hysterical voicemail (so I was extra emotional and kind of a huge baby when I didn't feel well, it's not like I could help it) and attempted to compose myself before sprinting out of the store and away from that smell._  
_

By the time Brittany had called me back, five minutes later and breathless from dancing, I was completely fine, drinking Watermelon juice from the bodega (I really like pink drinks, okay?), and insisting that I had just been overreacting and that she really didn't need to leave work. I'd managed to convince her of that when I was able to joke about how fitting it was that my first trigger was pumpkin, _pumpkin, _in the fall, in a world where everyone was _obsessed _with it (myself, formerly included) and you literally could not walk five feet without seeing something flavored by it. I swear, I'd once seen pumpkin massage oil, _that _would kill the mood for me, even before it became first on the list of _Things That Make Santana Vomit. _Things were going to get interesting, _that _was for sure, and I had quickly taken to cursing the person who'd named it _morning sickness, _not _puke any time you damn well feel like it sickness. _

When Halloween came, Britt took Annie to school before spending a few hours in the studio, and, after waking up in the middle of the night to be sick, I decided to stay in bed. We were going to get out of The Village as fast as humanly possible when they came home, planning to head to Finn and Rachel's before every drunken idiot in a two-hundred mile radius showed up for the shitfest known as the Halloween Parade, and I knew we had a long night ahead of us that I needed to prepare myself for. Rachel and Britt had decided on a 90's Television theme for costumes, and Annie, not caring about the theme, had chosen an even _better_ costume for herself (and by extension, Brice), and I wanted to feel as good as I possibly could so I didn't take away from my daughter's excitement. Before she left, Brittany bought me my laptop and some ginger ale and crackers (which mostly just tasted like _sick _to me), and I attempted to get some actual work done. I had six days left until my first session of the year at Finn's school, a session I felt wholly unprepared for, and I _needed _to get myself ready. Unfortunately, my body apparently had other plans, and I'd fallen into a pretty deep sleep about forty-five minutes in.

"Mamí!" Annie cried out, scrambling up on the bed, poking at my face and waking me from my midday slumber. Brittany was gently shushing our daughter, and gave me an apologetic look that I shook my head at her for, she was excited, they _both _were excited, and I wasn't going to let a little nausea take away from that. "Why are you sleeping in the day? And on Halloween?"

"I was just getting some extra rest, _mija." _I tried to control my laughter at the sound of sheer horror in Annie's voice, thinking about me missing _any _of the holiday. I snuggled close to her, kissing her forehead, while she wriggled against me excitedly. "We have a big, long, exciting day today."

"That is true." Brittany grinned and gave me a wink from the doorway. "Are you sure you don't want to lay down and rest with Mamí for a little while, sweetheart?"

"No way!" She shouted, nearly rolling off the bed as she attempted to prove how awake she was, and I held tight to her arm to keep her from taking a tumble. "Then we'll be _late!"_

"Well we can't have that, then Brice will have to go trick-or-treating without us." I said teasingly and Annie's eyes widened.

"I need to get dressed!" She shrieked, and Brittany lifted her up off of the bed, sitting down in her place.

"Why don't you go put on the turtleneck that's on your bed and then we'll help you get dressed after I finish waking up lazy bones?" Before Britt had even finished her sentence, Annie ran out of the room. I shuffled myself into a sitting position, and Brittany pulled me over to her, kissing my temple and scratching her nails gently at the small of my back. "How are you feeling?"

"Much better than I was a few hours ago. I didn't actually mean to fall asleep, but I guess it helped."

"Good." She smiled, and I turned my head toward her so she could kiss me properly. "Do you need anything?"

"Just you." I joked, pecking her lips again.

"You've already got me, dork." She giggled. "Annie is seriously going to explode before we get to Brooklyn. She was so upset that she couldn't wear her costume to school."

"Well, it _is _like that in the beginning, but wearing that damn thing every day for hundreds of days gets old pretty fast." At some point, Annie had developed a little bit of an obsession with looking at old pictures of me, Britt, and our friends in high school, and she thought our Cheerios uniforms were the coolest things ever. She'd begged to dress like us for Halloween, and as much as I'd been adamant about her _never _being a part of that world, I really couldn't bring myself to say no to her, and it was only for one night.

"Oh, you _loved _it." She pulled my hair up off my face with the hair band she took from her wrist and beamed at me, glad I'd _finally _approved (and spent an insane amount of money on) Annie's choice of costume.

"Not as much as I loved _you _in it." I raised my eyebrows suggestively. "Kind of not fair that I'm the only one of the two of us who's dressing as a cheerleader tonight."

"Well we had to go with the theme, babe." I didn't point out that she'd probably _purposely _picked the theme, since she was the one who'd chosen our costumes before we'd even made it home from Finn and Rachel's that day. "And it's only fitting for you to go as the bitchy brunette head cheerleader and me to go as the eccentric blonde who talks to her magical cat."

"You always seem to have some kind of logic where you get to win Halloween. I mean, c'mon, last year we totally went as Calzona just so you could see me get my Callie Torres dance on in my underwear when we came home."

"Hmm." She sucked her teeth, clearly remembering just how much she'd loved _that_, and how she'd definitely proven as much to me afterwards_. _"I'm pretty sure you always end up as the one who _wins _Halloween, if you recall properly."

That was probably true, but before I could say anything else, or more likely, _do _anything else, Brittany hopped up off of the bed with a smirk and went to our closet to take out the costumes. I got up slowly, not wanting to unsettle my sensitive stomach, and pulled on the pantyhose that she tossed in my direction. It was actually a geniusidea, especially considering I'd always told her, while watching reruns of _Sabrina the Teenage Witch_, that I found it hard to believe that there was never anything going on between ditsy Sabrina Spellman and her arch-rival Libby Chessler. While Britt pulled on a sinfully sexy electric blue dress and topped it off with a black hat (because without it, she'd reasoned, she would just be a hot girl in a tight dress), she stared shamelessly at me while I dressed in a green and white cheer uniform. It was definitely far less sexy than our old uniforms, although honestly, it was probably for the best, since there was definitely something wrong with a woman as close to thirty as I was traipsing around exposed to the world, but I was still happy with what I saw in the mirror.

"You're still a crazy hot cheerleader." Brittany grinned, tossing me my matching pompoms and I purposely dropped them, bending over to shake my ass (which, of course, she felt the need to smack) for her.

"And you're just crazy hot." I said just before Annie ran back into the room half dressed.

"Hurry! Hurry!" She cried out, bouncing up and down on her toes. "I want to wear my costume now!"

After Brittany helped her wriggle into her tiny uniform and white sneakers, I gathered her hair up into the signature Cheerios high pony, which Britt still swore I did it better than she did (her excuse for having me do hers for the majority of the four years we'd been on the team together), and slid her arms into the matching red sweater. Annie stood back proudly, showing herself off, and I was glad that you really can order _anything_ on the internet if you look hard enough, even if Sue Sylvester was probably fumingsomewhere that someone she never approved of was wearing a real WMHS top. As I fixed my own ponytail, I caught Britt slipping my toothbrush and a bag of ginger chews (so gross, but they really helped) into her purse. I sent her a grateful smile before she grabbed her stuffed black cat prop and swung Annie up into her arms so we could make our way out to the car.

* * *

I was content to keep my eyes closed and listen to Annie's non-stop chatter from the backseat all the way over the Manhattan Bridge. She was too young to really remember the holiday from the previous years, but Britt had insisted that we all watch _It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown _(when it actually aired, of course, not on DVD, because that was cheating, she claimed every single year) and she couldn't wait to see what trick-or-treating meant in real life. We'd found parking right outside Finn and Rachel's brownstone, a very rare feat in that obnoxious neighborhood, Annie scampered up the stoop and started knocking on the door as hard as her little fists could, while Britt pulled me in for a quick hug and popped a candy into my mouth.

"I'm fine, I promise." I swallowed, and kissed her to prove it.

"I know you are." She told me, pressing her hand on my stomach between our bodies. "But it's still my job to take care of you."

"Do I look like Quinn right now?" I laughed, and she flicked my ear.

"That's mean, San. I'm actually really glad none of our friends know, because I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be able to keep a pregnant cheerleader joke from coming out of your mouth at some point."

"Well it's kind of an easy one, I bet even _Rachel _could come up with it."

"Come up with what?" Rachel asked, appearing in the doorway with Brice on her hip.

I grinned like an idiot as Annie shrieked at the sight of Brice in his red and white jersey with the number five emblazoned on the front and _Hudson _on the back. Rachel had loved the idea of Annie dressing as a Cheerio, and insisted that the two kids go as a pair, even if a _pair _in our world actually meant two cheerleaders or a football player and a musical theater nerd. She'd _definitely _gone even more all out than we had (although there was no surprise there), even ordering a tiny letterman jacket and helmet to complete the look. Since we always kept our costumes a secret from one another, I had no idea who Rachel was going as, in overalls, braids and a bandana, until Finn appeared at the door wearing a grey sweater vest, khakis, and his hair all dopey looking and freaking blonde._  
_

"Why am I not at all surprised that you two are dressed as the most cliche couple of all time? Joey and Dawson, _really?_" I scoffed, deflecting Rachel's question and laughing against Brittany's chest.

"Not my idea." Finn shrugged. "I'm just glad this dye will wash out tonight."

"You hope." I shook my head, I wouldn't put it past Rachel to use real hair color if she thought it would look more authentic.

"Joey and Dawson had a beautiful, timeless love." Rachel argued, putting Brice down beside Annie and crossing her arms over her chest, offended. "Even if the show screwed it all up and had her pick _Pacey_, I'm going to keep on believing that they really did end up together in the end."

"Whatever you say, Rach, whatever you say."

With Brittany pulling me behind her, we made our way up the stairs to take pictures of the kids. Of course, that proved to be a near impossibility, because they could not stop running around for a second, and theyhadn't even had any sugar yet, but still, we had to try. Honestly, it was probably one of the cutest things I'd ever seen, Annie twirling around in her skirt (because obviously, they were _made _for twirling) and Brice throwing his tiny football up in the air and missing the catch every single time. It wasn't long before Quinn arrived with Archie and Eden, dressed as Doug Funnie, Patti Mayonnaise and the baby as Pork Chop the dog (_obviously _they were totally going to have the best costumes, I mean, Archie was an actual person in the nineties, not in diapers like the rest of us, who only jumped on the bandwagon with Netflix ten years later). I'd had Annie settled on my lap for all of two minutes, when they came in, but seeing the baby set her off on another four laps around the house.

"Okay!" Brittany finally called out, knowing it was time to get out of the house before something (or some_one) _got broken. "Who's ready for some awesome trick-or-treating fun?"

"Me!" Annie cried out, running full force into her Mama, who quickly scooped her up. "Mamí, you're coming too, right?"

"Of course I am, _mi amor. _As long as you promise to share your candy with me."

"I'll always share with you, and with Mama too." She promised.

"MyAnnie, we doing tricks!" Brice jumped up and down at Brittany's feet excitedly. "I do a tumble and you do a car-wheel."

"Come here little guy." Finn lifted his son high up in the air, causing an eruption of giggles to escape from both him and Annie. "No real tricks tonight, just lots and lots of candy!"

"Candy! Candy! Candy!" The two kids began chanting together, and I was probably laughing harder than anyone as I tossed my phone in Brittany's purse and threw it over my shoulder while she carried Annie out to the sidewalk.

* * *

Once Annie and Brice were settled into his little red wagon, covered with an old fleece McKinley blanket, that I was _incredibly _impressed Rachel had found among the piles of crap in her attic, we set off among the other Park Slope parents. Apparently it was ridiculously cold for Halloween, but I could have done completely without the green sweater I had on, but I was still trying to keep everyone from thinking something was up with me. We made it a point to start early, knowing that both kids (and probably still me, a little bit) would get easily spooked if we took them out in the madness that happened after dusk. They'd still get their chance to trick-or-treat, which I figured wouldn't actually be exciting for them for all that long, but then be back settled safely in the Hudson house in time for Kurt and Blaine to join us for dinner.

"I love seeing her like this." Brittany said, coming up beside me and wrapping her arm around my waist. "Just excited and so uninhibited, none of her little fears even trying to creep past all of that."

"I know." I sighed, dropping my head to rest on her shoulder as we fell behind the others. "She's just so freaking special Britt. You know, when I finally let myself think about having kids with you, I always pictured them in tiny cheerleading uniforms, confident, insanely talented, like us, I guess. But Annie, God, I swear, she's so, _so _much better than any of that. It's weird, when I close my eyes at night and picture our little tadpole, I can't even imagine what they'll be like, and I'm totally fine with that."

"Well, I'm pretty sure you're cooking up another good one in there." Brittany whispered into my hair. "And I'm sure they'll surprise us in a million ways too."

"Mama! Mamí!" Annie yelled, standing on the sidewalk with her hands on her hips, after Finn had taken her out of the wagon. "You're so far away! And it's _time!_"

We quickly closed the gap between ourselves and the others. I really tried not to look directly at Quinn, because I knew that she _knew_, it was fairly obvious considering she was aware it was a possibility, and was trying to pretend she didn't. Annie immediately sidled up to me and squeezed Brittany's hand tightly. The three of us trailed a few steps behind the others, and I watched my daughter's nervousness come back to her as we slowly approached the open door. She'd nearly glued herself to my side, one arm curled around my leg, and I carefully bent down to lift her up. With Annie's legs wrapped around my waist, one heel digging into a particularly sensitive bruise on my lower back, but I didn't even let myself be bothered by the ache, Britt held her from behind, supporting most of her weight.

"Are you okay, Little Bean?" Britt asked softly, running her fingers through Annie's ponytail.

"Mmhmm." She nodded into my chest, and I rested my chin on the top of her head, making sure I was holding her as tight as I could.

"We'll be right here with you, Annalise." I promised, finding her pinky to link with mine. It wasn't a surprise to me (or, I knew, to Britt) that our daughter was already having second thoughts. So often, her excitement was an unconscious cover for her nerves, but when the actual time to do something came, her mind sort of overloaded.

"MyAnnie, you coming?" Brice called from the stoop, and Annie looked up into my eyes with her wet blue ones.

"Finn, you guys go ahead and knock." I called out to him, and he nodded in understanding. "_Mija, _we can just eat the candy that Aunt Rachel bought, we don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"No, Mamí, I _do. _I really, really do." She said desperately, and I felt Britt's arms wrap tighter around the two of us.

"Do you want to wear my magic hat?" Brittany asked, concern filling her eyes as they met mine, both of us hoping it might do the trick.

"How's it magic?"

"Well, I'm not supposed to tell this secret." She lowered her voice to below a whisper, pretending to look around to make sure that no one was listening (which was seriously even more heartwarming because Annie couldn't even _see _her face). "But my hat _only _works on Halloween, and it makes you extra, super brave."

"But you're already the most brave." Annie said, furrowing her brow in thought.

"I know, and that's a good thing, isn't it? That means I don't need to wear this old magic hat, and I can lend it to a little girl who I love very, _very _much, and who might need to borrow just a little bit of the hat's bravery today."

"Okay, Mama. That's a very good idea." Annie smiled again as Britt placed the hat on her head. "Thank you."

"Take good care of it, sweetheart." Brittany lifted Annie from my arms, and hugged her completely before taking my hand in her free one and leading us slowly to the door.

It took most of the block before Annie got the hang of it, choosing to remain in Britt's arms in between houses (which led Brice to demand to stay in Rachel's) instead of getting back in the wagon. Without fail, at each door, I'd make my voice high and squeaky and say _trick-or-treat, _pretending to be Annie, causing her to giggle and look up from hiding against Britt. Trying to make our daughter more comfortable, since all of her knowledge of the subject _did _come from Charlie Brown_, _Britt would look in the plastic pumpkin after each house and sadly say _I got a rock. _A half-hour in, she finally was willing to walk with Brice, holding his hand for dear life, and repeatedly looking over her shoulder to make sure we hadn't moved out of her arm's length. When the sun started to sink lower, Eden was getting fussy, the older two were getting tired, and I was starting to feel sick again from how hungry I was, so we headed back to the house. When we got inside, Kurt and Blaine were already there, thankfully bearing Chinese food. I was too hungry to even really notice what they were wearing, and I took the plate Brittany had made me, impatiently waiting (I, sometimes unfortunately, had good manners) for everyone else to situate themselves around the table.

Once we'd eaten and had all taken to the living room while Brice and Annie ran between there and his bedroom, I was leaning back against the couch cushions, feeling extremely full, with my legs tucked into Brittany's lap. I'd finally taken a good luck at Kurt and Blaine's costumes, Kurt with a center part, a flannel shirt and looser jeans than he'd probably ever even _looked _at, and Blaine with his hair gelled curly, tight to his head and wearing one of those weird 90's stripy sweaters, and even _I _had to give them massive credit. Although I loved Brittany dearly, she'd most definitely given all of us a challenge, since 90's television wasn't exactly gay-friendly, and the epic bromance of Cory and Shawn from _Boy Meets World _was kind of a genius idea from the boy gays. While they all sipped wine (except Brittany, who, despite occasionally having a glass with our friends, decided against it because she didn't want me to have to drive home if I wasn't feeling up to it), I was relatively quiet, paying more attention to the soft stroking of Britt's fingers on my legs than to the never ending banter of our friends.

"Jeeze, Santana, what planet are you on right now?" Kurt snipped, breaking me from my thoughts.

"Excuse me?" I jerked my head up from the back of the couch and glared at him.

"I've been talking about you for a good five minutes and you didn't even respond to me."

"Oh, what, do you only say things to see my _reaction?_"

"Mostly." He snickered and I reached over and threw a mini Snickers bar at his face. "I was saying how seeing you in a cheerleading uniform again should bring fear into my heart, and yet somehow, it doesn't."

"Shut up, asshole. In case you've forgotten, I'm still from Lima Heights, and I'll still mess up your pretty little face if you give me reason to."

"Kurt." Finn cut in. "Why do you constantly feel the need to start with her?"

"Hey, I _love _her, okay. But sometimes I miss the old feisty bitch that is buried deep inside of her."

"I don't!" Rachel shouted. "Remember when she cut off half of my hair because I used her shampoo?"

"Please, it was one snip, and that shampoo was sixty-five dollars a bottle."

"Okay, one snip of my _bangs_, and I had an audition the next day."

"You still got the part." Blaine reminded her.

"Honestly, how did all of you even live together?" Quinn asked. "I'm glad I was far away from all of that."

"It actually was a lot of fun." Kurt admitted. "And I'm only messing with you Santana because I really do love you. If you hadn't showed up on our doorstep, demanding that we take you in, I don't think we'd all be sitting here today."

"That's because you three." Quinn pointed to me, Kurt and Rachel. "Are the biggest meddlers I've ever seen. You all have each other to thank for your relationships."

"I'll toast to that!" Brittany grinned, leaning down to kiss me before lifting up her glass of water.

We toasted (with me holding up a half of a Kit Kat, since I didn't feel like sitting up to grab my seltzer) and I made more of an effort to be actively involved in the conversation. It wasn't even like I was trying to shut them out, I really _did _enjoy their company, and I was having a nice time, even if I seemed uninvolved, I was just so comfortable, laying there, that I didn't feel the need to talk. While Rachel got up to start getting dessert ready (because clearly, the candy wrappers on the table proved that we _definitely _needed more sugar), I went to go check on the kids. Standing up quickly made me feel a little queasy again (definitely _not _because of everything I'd eaten), but I swallowed the feeling, and smiled contentedly when I saw Annie and Brice curled up together on the floor of his room, fast asleep. I snapped a few pictures, probably the only ones we'd have of both of them together, before kneeling down and kissing both of their foreheads, then covering them with the spaceship throw at the foot of the bed. When I came back into the living room, everyone was eating cheesecake (except Britt, again), and my wife gave me a panicked look, shaking her head quickly, just before I smelled what was in it, and almost tripped over the throw rug running into the bathroom.

"Ugh. Fuck." I moaned, dropping to my knees as Britt came into the room behind me and quickly shut the door.

"It's okay, honey. I've got you." Britt soothed, crouching behind me on the floor and locking her arm across my chest.

"Fucking Rachel and her fucking pumpkin cheesecake." I gasped out, just before I started retching, internally cursing myself for forgetting that she served that shit every single year.

Honestly, I hated people who could throw up and be quiet about it. Every single time, since (according to my mother) I was smaller than Annie, I sounded like a goddamn dying whale. Britt rubbed my back, whispering how much she loved me. As much as it sucked, I felt _slightly _better when I had her hanging on to me, I know, I'm seriously a clingy bitch. When I finished, not actually feeling all that much better, I collapsed back into her arms. Neither of us said anything for a few minutes, we both kind of knew that the world's shortest kept secret was pretty much officially over, but I just needed to breathefor a few minutes before we went back out there to face the music.

"Pumpkins suck." I finally said, laughing a little bit as Brittany kissed me on the top of my head.

"I'm sorry, I seriously didn't even know how to warn you."

"You have no reason to be sorry, Britt. How the hell did we both forget that? I make fun of her every year because she thinks that shit from Junior's is actually good."

"Well, I think we've been just a little preoccupied." She rubbed her hand over my belly, both to punctuate her point, and to try and help soothe the nausea that she knew was still there.

"Yeah, I guess so. How long do you think we can hide in here until someone tries to break down the door?"

"Honestly? I'm surprised no one has tried already."

"Maybe they _are _still scared of me." I joked, and she pressed a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth, not even caring about the fact that I'd just puked up an entire day's worth of food.

"Or more likely, Quinn."

"Yeah, I hate that bitch." I laughed, and Brittany shook her head with a smile. "She always was scarier than me without even trying. Do _not _tell her I admitted that."

"Like I need _her _ego any bigger? No thanks. Do you feel okay to stand up?" She asked, looking at me with so much love on her face.

"Just one more minute."

"Take as long as you need." With me still in her arms, she bent down so she could gently kiss my covered stomach. "Be nice to Mamí in there, tadpole. She's super cute, even when she's sick, but I don't like seeing her feel so terrible."

* * *

When I finally felt a little less shaky, Britt helped me to my feet and pointed out that she had already stashed my toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. She was so good at being super discreet, but clearly I was _not. _Once I'd brushed my teeth (trying _not _to gag in the process), Britt laced her fingers with mine, pulling me in for another, much deeper kiss. In truth, there was actually a lot of excitement bubbling up inside of me. Okay, yeah, I'd wanted to wait at least a few more weeks before we told the rest of them (we _had _called Lizzie in Boston a week earlier, but mostly because we were both pretty sure that Susan would somehow slip while speaking to her younger daughter), but as much as I complained about our friends' ridiculously over the top reactions, I knew that it all came from their genuine joy at hearing good things come from the people who they loved.

"Okay, detectives." I announced our presence again as we entered the living room, doing a quick check to make sure the kids weren't around. "I'm sure you've all figured it out by now."

"Figured what out?" Rachel asked, and for an actress, she did a _terrible _job of pretending.

"Drop the act, Rach, we know you better than that."

"Aw, San." Britt wrapped her arms around my waist from behind, and I snuggled into her. "They want us to say it."

"Ugh fine. Let me begin by saying the same thing I say every year, that pumpkin cheesecake is terrible, and I usually love pumpkin. But this year, someone else apparently doesn't. Because-" I looked back at Britt, nodding for her to say it.

"We're pregnant." She beamed, trying her absolute hardest to keep from screaming it at the top of her lungs.

"Wait." Archie stopped us, and I was more than a little surprised that he was the first to speak. "_Both _of you?"

"It's an expression, honey." Quinn teased him, she'd told us many times that for a smart guy, he had absolutely no common sense.

"Well, considering the _bird calls _we all heard coming from the bathroom, I'm going to go ahead and assume that you're the one carrying, Santana?" Kurt asked, bouncing up and down on his toes, much like Annie did.

"Good observation, Sherlock." I smirked.

"Oh my God!" Rachel started shrieking, but I put my finger to my lips and she lowered her voice considerably. "You're having another baby. I'm so excited. Congratulations!"

Brittany, being the genius that she is, was quick to cover my stomach entirely with her own hands, before everyone else in the room threw their arms around us excitedly, Rachel was freaking out to such an extent that I was actually afraid she was going to _pee _on me like a puppy, and Finn just stared at me with a huge grin on his face, the only one besides Britt in the room who knew just how badly I wanted to have another baby. When they _finally, _after what seemed like an eternity, let us go, I sank back down on the couch, feeling totally and completely exhausted. While my eyes started to close a little, I heard Brittany telling everyone that she'd personally hunt anyone down who so much as breathed a word about the pregnancy in front of Annie before we were ready to tell her, and I smiled inwardly at my tough Mama Bear wife.

"You ready to go, San?" Britt sank down beside me on the couch, taking one of my hands in both of hers.

"Mmhmm." I sighed blissfully, feeling so much happiness, even with the gross sick feeling and the inability to keep my eyes open.

"Okay, I'll start getting us ready."

I could feel the other's staring at me like an animal in the zoo, and I yelled at them to scatter while Brittany went to gather everything up. They all made themselves scarce, except for Quinn, who'd changed Edie into her pajamas and sat down with her beside me in Britt's place on the couch. Taking the baby from her arms, I rested her on my chest, still not opening my eyes, but loving that amazing feeling that came from holding someone so small.

"I'm really happy for you both." She said quietly. "I've been praying."

"Thanks, Quinn." I said, knowing that she was being completely genuine with me. "I'm sorry, you know, that it was tough for you."

"I'm not. I mean, I was, but if I'd gotten pregnant, I wouldn't have Eden, and I love her so much, I can't imagine her not being my daughter."

"Oh, I know what you mean." I felt a smile curl at the corners of my mouth, thinking of my own beautiful daughter who was still sound asleep in the next room.

"Yeah, better than anyone, I think."

"Isn't that the truth. People get so wrapped up in their weird idea of family I guess, that they don't even realize that it's just all about the love. I mean, look at all of us, we're a family, even if we aren't related. And then you, me, and Britt with our kids. You don't love Eden, I don't love Annie, and Britt won't love this little one any less than Finn and Rachel love Brice, you know?"

"Absolutely." She lifted her daughter back out of my arms, wanting to hold her close. "Call me, you know, if you need anything."

"I will. Thanks again, and thanks for keeping it a secret that you kind of already knew."

"Of course, please, I'd be feeding the entire Unholy Trinity to the lions if I said otherwise."

* * *

Brittany came back in for me, holding a still sleeping Annie in her arms. After an insane amount of time attempting to say goodbye (and Rachel and Kurt attempting to touch my stomach, before I had to threaten them with bodily harm, and promise that when I _had _a bump, they could each touch it _one_ time), we were finally able to get in the car and make our way back to Manhattan. I was itching to get my ridiculous costume off, but we brought Annie into her room first, carefully undressing her and putting her pajamas on. When we were just about finished, she opened her eyes sleepily and looked up at the two of us.

"Thank you for trick-or-treating." She mumbled, her words barely formed. "I love you Mamí and Mama."

"Happy Halloween, sweet girl." Brittany tucked her under the covers, and Annie wrapped her arm around Milky Way in her sleep. "I love you so very much."

"_Buenos noches y dulces sueños, Annalisita. Te amo mucho."_

We shut off her lights, leaving only the stars from her Twilight Turtle reflecting on the ceiling, and went into our room. Suddenly, as I watched Brittany strip out of the dress that I had hardly had time to appreciate how incredibly sexy she looked in (I really, really don't know how she could so easily slip in between being this amazing, doting, sweet human being, into being a freaking sex goddess), the feelings of exhaustion that I didn't think I could shake kind of slipped away. Quickly undressing myself, I sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her, letting her know as much. With a seductive smile, she raised her eyebrows and came to stand, in all her beautiful naked glory, between my legs. I shimmied back, pulling her down on top of me as she gently pushed my shoulders. It was one of those nights where there was no urgency, just slow, gentle, lovemaking, where we'd forgotten about costumes and games, where we savored every moment we had together. I didn't know how much time had passed when we were finished (I _may _have knocked the clock of the nightstand with my foot, slow did not always mean _completely _tame), but we'd ended up lying face to face on our sides, still taking turns placing soft kisses on faces and necks, when I felt myself drifting again, sated by everything about my beautiful wife.

"I'm pretty sure it's a tie this year." Brittany whispered against my neck.

"Nah, Britt. I win. You take care of me in every single way, I could never ask for better."


	11. Chapter 11-Show Your Brave

**Author's Note: Okay, so after going back and rereading the last chapter, which, I so greatly appreciate you guys pointing out to me, some of it was definitely pretty difficult to read. I did edit some of it, the content is the same, but it's definitely more readable, just thought I'd let you know about that! And of course, a thanks to all of you who've reviewed, Chuckleshan, lg4az, naynay1963, blueskkies, pictureofsuccess, ruby-may89, Guest, SnixBr, AlabamaMiles, XOXO, ishlheard2day & mocblue, much appreciated!**

* * *

Despite the persistent feelings of overall ickiness that pervaded my system, I absolutely refused to allow myself to become a prisoner to that, and, more importantly, to become one of those pregnant ladies who acted like they had acquired some type of crippling disability for the duration of their nine months as a tiny human incubator. As the first week of November drew to a close, more was added to the list of things that made me feel especially sick; bananas, cigarette smoke, red sauce, and, probably the worst of all, Brittany's body scrub, which she promptly tossed in the trash. But there were two bright sides, the first being that according to both my internet research and one of several calls to Dr. Singh (I know, I'm ridiculous), the intense morning sickness meant that my hormone levels were high, like they should be, and the second, that the worst of it seemed to concentrate in the mid morning and late at night, the two times where I had to be on my game the least. I could handle the general feeling of queasiness the rest of the day, as long as I wasn't racing to the bathroom every thirty seconds while I had Annie to worry about.

On the first Friday of November, the moment I'd been preparing myself for was upon me. With Brittany having left work early to pick up Annie at school, and the two of them engaged for the afternoon at the Children's Museum of Art, I was alone in the house, mentally readying myself for what I hoped would be a big day. After pulling on jeans and a sweater, which I preferred, based on my strange theory that the kids would be more likely to relate to me if I dressed down, I walked to the car and once again made the long drive out to Finn's school. I didn't get the opportunity to see him when I got there, I just grabbed my guest pass and went to a small room in the music wing, absently playing scales and waiting for people to show up. When an hour passed and I was still by myself in the room, I felt a sinking sick feeling (one not related to pregnancy) and tried to talk myself away from the feelings of failure that still sometimes crept up on me. I'd had several of Finn's students e-mail me to say they were coming, I'd even gone back and forth with Isaac the Orthodox baseball player via e-mail for weeksabout what he was gong through. It hardly seemed possible that _no one _would make an appearance.

For me, it wasn't about one meeting, it was about this entire idea that I'd built so many hopes and dreams upon. Of course, my mind began racing a million miles a minute on how to make it better, or maybe, how to make the entire program a little bit more concrete, instead of what could have been perceived as some weird_ Kumbaya _campfire circle. I refused to let myself start crying about it (fucking hormones), instead, I looked at the clock, reading 3:11, an hour and eleven minutes after school let out, and decided to give myself another nineteen minutes before I went home to regroup. Half-heartedly tapping out the notes to _Constant Craving _on the piano, I was once again thinking about how something like this would have helped me so much in high school, and how I would have absolutely refused to be a part of it. While wracking my brain trying to think about what would have convinced me to go, I heard a soft whimpering outside of the closed door, and moved quickly and quietly, not wanting to startle whoever the noise was coming from.

"Hi." I said, my voice barely above a whisper, to a girl about my height with sandy colored hair who was furiously wiping away the tears that didn't look like they were going to stop anytime soon. She jumped back slightly, pressing her body almost entirely against the lockers, still startled, despite my best efforts.

"Oh. Hi. I'm fine." She told me quickly.

"Well, you don't really look fine. But okay." I shifted my weight awkwardly from one foot too the other. Even though I had gotten significantly better, I still wasn't the best at knowing what to say to people who were crying. "If you're not fine, you could always come inside and sit for a few minutes until you get yourself together. I always hate crying where other people can see me."

"No. I can't. Come in there, I mean. I just can't."

"Okay." I gave her the warmest smile I knew how. "If you change your mind, I'm not going to lock the door for another fifteen minutes or so."

"Um, thanks." She stuttered out, her tears falling more furiously than they'd been just a few seconds earlier. "I'm just going to get home."

There wasn't really anything else I could say, so I turned away from the girl, wishing there was something I could do to comfort her. The thing was though, something I knew from both my own life experience and from social work school, was that you can't help someone who isn't ready to ask for it. Walking back into the room, I intentionally left the door open, sighing heavily as I opened my bag to dig through some of the paperwork in there and to take a long swig of water from my bottle. After several more minutes, I heard the unsure shuffle of footsteps, the crying sound moving closer, and the click of the door closing behind her. When I looked back up, the girl was watching me curiously, and I knew she had words on her tongue that she was dying to speak.

"You can sit, if you want." I told her when I met her sad eyes. "No one else is really using the chairs."

"I thought you had, um, something going on in here." She looked around cautiously, and I was pretty sure she knew exactly whatthat _something_ was.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "You know, I guess this isn't exactly the hot place to be. Maybe next time."

The girl just nodded and took a seat about ten feet from the piano bench. Rather than try to make conversation, I put my bottle of water down on top of the piano and started playing again. I forewent the catchy pop music, and began playing the only calming, classical piece I knew, Brahm's _Lullaby. _I'd taught it to myself when Annie was still very young, and (rather than just turn on a YouTube video) would play it, even now, whenever she was sick, cranky, or just wouldn't go to sleep. I wasn't sure if it would have the same sedative effect on a nearly grown teenager, but the whole point of me being there was to help people with music, and it was the only thing I could think of to help the poor girl stop crying.

"My mom used to put that on for me." The girl spoke softly, once I'd finished, and her voice sounded slightly less shaky.

"Mine too, when she wasn't singing me some weird Spanish song about trees by the sea." I kept my voice light, and I saw the smallest hint of a smile grace her face. "I'm Santana, by the way."

"Yeah, you're Mr. Hudson's friend. I was at the assembly you spoke at. That's pretty cool that you could just get up there and talk about your life like you did. I'm pretty sure I'd never be able to do that."

"Well, if you told me that I'd be doing that when I was your age, I'd have thought you were totally crazy, but my wife and I always like to say that time makes you bolder. You never know what you'll be up to when you're an old lady like me."

"You're hardly old." She let out a tiny laugh and wiped her face on her sleeve. "What are you, like thirty?"

"Don't push it, I'm barely twenty-nine." I argued jokingly, then took a chance that I wasn't sure if I should. "Are you feeling better?"

There was a deafening silence, and the girl (who still hadn't revealed her name) just stared at me, the tears welling back up in her light brown eyes. She looked down at her feet, crossing and uncrossing her legs while playing with the silver chain around her neck. While I contemplated whether or not I should speak again, touch the keys of the piano, or just give her a moment in silence to decide whether or not she wanted to say anything, she moved over two chairs, getting closer to where I was sitting.

"I have a boyfriend." She finally said, so softly that had I not been waiting for her to speak, I never would have heard her words. I nodded slowly, encouraging her to go on if she wanted to, and she bit her bottom lip, considering whether or not she could. "I have a boyfriend, and this was supposed to stop."

"You can talk to me about whatever is bothering you, if you want to. I mean, I don't even know your name, so your secrets are pretty much safe with me." I responded to her, my own voice hardly louder than hers.

"It's Andrea." She admitted. "I e-mailed you a few weeks ago to say I'd be here, but then I got scared and I decided that I couldn't do it. I just, I don't know, I just wish it would all go away."

"And I wish I could tell you that wishing for something like that helps. But I'd be lying if I told you it does."

"I haven't been able to bring myself to say the word yet." Andrea began furiously wiping the tears from her eyes again. "That I'm, you know, um, like you."

"The hardest, hardest part sometimes is accepting it for yourself." I told her, knowing, at least in my case, that it was true.

"How did you do it though? I mean, I know from your speech that you fell in love with your best friend, but how did you accept who you are?"

"I had a boyfriend too...sort of." I told her, closing my eyes for a moment and remembering the moment that I knew it wasn't just about Brittany, about being unable to reconcile my feelings for her, but about why I'd been the one to repeatedly initiate sex, why I was so fucking scared, all the time. Opening my eyes back up quickly, I looked at Andrea, who was looking around the room nervously, so scared to even be in there, where someone could see her and began to tell her the story,

* * *

_"What's up with you tonight, Lopez?" Puck called out to me from where he lay naked on his bed. "One second you're tearing your clothes off, the next you're shoving me away and guzzling scotch like it's fucking lemonade."_

_"Shut up, Puckerman. Just shut the fuck up." I squeezed my eyes shut, refusing to let the tears fall, something that became increasingly harder with each gulp of the amber liquid. "And put some fucking pants on. You're not getting all up on this tonight."_

_"You're the one who took my pants _**_off._**_" He protested, and I finished what was in my glass before pouring another from the bottle beside me on the desk._

_This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening. I'd been pushing it down for so long, letting myself believe that it was just what girls did when they wanted to have fun, but for some inexplicable reason, there was something else that popped up in my heart as I'd flashed Puck my usual seductive smile ten minutes earlier. Why, in that moment, had I realized that suddenly everything about the situation was so wrong? I was completely freaking out, and I figured maybe the alcohol would stop the freight train of emotions that was barreling too fast toward me. It turned out, that was the furthest thing from the case, everything became too fuzzy and too sharp all at once. It was true, the thing I'd never let even attempt to cross the outer membrane of my thoughts. I was- no, I couldn't say it, even in my head._

_"I'm out of here. You're pissing me off, douchebag. You know what, don't even talk to me anymore."_

_"What?" He looked up at me, confused. "I didn't even do anything. And just last month, at Burt and Carole's wedding, you were practically pissing all over me to stake your claim."_

_"You think I don't see you making eyes at Poppin' Fresh? I can't even look at you without getting grossed out by the visual of the two of you together." It was a weak excuse, but the only one I could come up with to justify storming out of his house before we even had sex. Sex was my _**_thing_**_, I was supposed to love it. And I did, just not with someone who had a- No. I had to stop thinking that. I wasn't, I couldn't be-_

_Throwing the Cheerios sweatshirt that wasn't mine over my head and pulling on my snow boots, I didn't even bother to grab the winter coat that I'd left on the floor. My body felt so hot, and hotter still, as I breathed in her scent, and I just needed to go somewhere, anywhere that wasn't Puck's bedroom. With the hood up over my head (further surrounding me with her), I trudged out into the snow, stumbling a little bit as I vaguely registered Puck yelling something behind me. I walked for an hour and a half, my clothes becoming completely soaked from the snow, and the tears that had finally made their way out of my eyes were cold on my cheeks. At the end of every block, I'd try to say it inside of my head, but I couldn't. _

_Consciously, I don't think I'd realized where my circular walk had taken me, but unconsciously, I think everything always led me back to Brittany. I stood outside of her house for another forty-five minutes, the effects of the scotch nearly gone from my system, wanting to run as far away as I possibly could, wanting to go inside. When I finally did, melting snow dripped onto the wood floor in the entryway as her mom let me in to the house, asking me a hundred questions about why I was so wet, telling me I'd catch my death if I walked outside on a cold, snowy night like that again, and then quickly sending me up to Brittany's room to change into something dry. I didn't register most of what she was saying, my mind was still playing what seemed to be on eternal loop (I'm-no. I'm-no. I'm-no.), and I trailed water all the way up the stairs until I stood in the open doorway._

_"San!" Brittany called out cheerfully, and then I watched her brow furrow with concern as she took in my disheveled appearance. She was just so cu-no, that was off limits too. "What happened to you?"_

_"I had a fight with Puck." Not a total lie. "So I went for a walk."_

_"You're soaked."_

_"Wanky." I tried to joke, but the word was half caught in my throat. Thinking about sex was not a good idea when my mind was on the verge of implosion from all the confusion that was happening inside. _

_I averted my eyes, choosing to look anywhere but at her as she pulled dry clothes for me out of her drawer, and I dropped half of them on the floor when she tossed them in my direction. I nodded when she told me she was going to make me some hot chocolate, so, so glad that she wouldn't be in the room when I took off my clothes. The fight to compose myself was harder and harder with her watching me, and the moment the door closed behind her, I took deep, gulping breaths. It hurt so bad, that indisputable truth, and after I threw my wet clothes in her hamper (her mom was so used to washing my things anyway), I lay face down on her bed as sobs wracked my body. Images flashed through my mind of all the things I found beautiful in other people, and I knew that it wasn't the things I had been hoping to see._

_When Brittany came back in the room, I heard her soft sigh, knowing that it hurt her to see me crying, especially when I'd never tell her why. I'd hoped she'd assume that it was because of Puck, but I was sure that she knew me better than that, that she knew I would never cry over a stupid boy, apparently I only cried over-no, that thought was especially not okay. There was a thud from what I'd assumed was her placing the hot chocolate down on the bedside table, and the bed dipped on my right side. I didn't pick my head up from the pillow, but my entire body jumped slightly when I felt her hand press against my lower back._

_"I know you don't even want to talk, Santana, but I'm your best friend. That's what best friends are supposed to do, and I'd never, like, judge you or anything."_

_"Excuse me?" I rolled over on my side, glaring at her, but feeling slightly sick at her choice of words. Being judged, that was my biggest fear about being, you know, that thing I couldn't say. "There ain't nothing to judge me about. I had a fight with Puck and I just walked for like two fucking hours, okay? Leave it alone."_

_"Okay." She said, disappointed that I'd used that tone of voice with her again. "It's just, I love you and I don't like seeing you sad."_

_"I _**_told _**_you to stop saying that, Brittany." I growled, but my heart quickened at the words. "You're going to give people the wrong idea."_

_"You're allowed to love your friends. I don't know why all of a sudden you have such a problem with it." She argued, but there was something in her voice, something that terrified me, like she knew what was happening inside of my head._

_I turned away from her, not wanting to see the blue eyes that were boring into my soul. She couldn't see the tears that started falling from my eyes again, but I was about ninety-nine-and-a-half percent sure that she knew I was crying again. It was too much too real, and I shouldn't have showed up to her house, but I couldn't make myself leave. _

_"I'm...I'm sorry Britt. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that. I've just got a lot going on right now, Puck has this weird thing going on with fat ass Zises, we quit the Cheerios, it just feels like I'm on some kind of weird downward spiral, and I can't give people any more ammunition against me. I swear, I'm one wrong step away from daily slushie facials."_

_"You know, sometimes I think you care more about what the people who don't matter think of you, than the people who do."_

_There was silence again, because I had absolutely no response to that. Maybe she was right, but maybe she wasn't. My deep, dark secret would change everything, even with Brittany, _**_especially _**_with Brittany, and I was so afraid to risk it. I was so furious that I was crying again, this time, louder than I had been just a few moments earlier, and I felt Britt shuffle closer to me on the bed, fitting herself behind me and wrapping her arms around my midsection. She was my best friend, she wasn't going to judge me, and even if she didn't love me in the way I secretly hoped she did (I let that thought slip out unintentionally), she wasn't going to let me go. She'd proven as much be holding me tight when she knew I was upset, even after I'd snapped at her twice. Maybe, just maybe, I could let her into my scary thoughts, maybe I'd feel better if she could just tell me that it was all going to be okay._

_"Britt?"_

_"Yeah." _

_"I'm-uh, I'm really tired." I told her, completely chickening out from saying the words out loud. But with her chin resting on the top of my head, her body flush against mine, I couldn't stop the thoughts any longer, I knew it was true, I knew I wasn't ready to deal with it out loud, but with myself, I couldn't deny it anymore. I was gay, and there was nothing I could do to change it._

_"Okay." Brittany said, and I knew she knew that wasn't what I had been planning to say. "Go to sleep, then. Maybe you'll feel better in the morning. I'm here if you need me, San. Always._

* * *

"Did it get better after that?" Andrea asked, eyebrows raised hopefully.

"Honestly? No. I think that I had just accepted it and been done, it would have, but even though it had broken the surface of my conscious thoughts, I pushed it back down as quickly as it came up. I mean, I seriously tried to get Puck back, then I started dating another guy." It was still a little weird for me to even think about ever having dated Sam, but that was all part of a story that Brittany and I had decided was best to keep between the people who were closest to us. "Things were probably worse than they'd ever been between Brittany and me, because she just wanted me to love myself for who I was, but I wasn't ready yet. I treated her like crap, because I couldn't treat myself any worse than already was."

"But now you're like, married to a girl, to her, and have a kid and stuff."

"Yeah, like I said earlier, it's all about time, and once you're okay with yourself, I really think that everything gets infinitely easier. I'm not going to sit here and tell you there aren't hard parts." I absently brushed my hand over my throat. "But when you find the good parts, most of the struggle is completely worth it."

Andrea was quiet again, deep in thought, I assumed, at what I'd just told her. When I really thought about it, with the exception of what had happened with my grandmother, the only demon I'd fought while coming out was myself. In that respect, maybe it was harder for me to offer encouragement about their initial experiences. Not everyone was going to have a rainbows and butterflies experience, and I didn't want to ever give someone false hope about that. But at the same time, my real struggle came so much later, and that was a reality that showed me the much darker side of things.

"I know that I need to break up with Mark." The young girl said eventually, and I could hear the struggle in her voice at the thought of it. "It sucks, he's such a nice guy, if I weren't into chicks, he'd be really good for me."

"Do things at your own pace." I warned gently. "Even if you break up with him right now, you don't need to tell anyone the reason until you're ready."

"Yeah. I know. I actually don't know why it's easier to talk to a complete stranger about this than anyone else in my life."

"Probably because I have no preconceived expectations of you. All I know of you was that you were upset in the hallway, I didn't watch you take your first steps, I don't go out with you on Friday nights, or take classes with you. After I'd said it out loud in my room when I was home alone a few times, Brittany and I eventually talked to our substitute teacher about the weirdness that was going on between us. I understand exactly that feeling you're having."

"I didn't think this was going to be how my life was going to turn out." She sighed, the tears rising up in her eyes again. "It's like there's not even _someone _in my life, it's just this horrible nagging feeling that I can't shake. I want so badly to just be normal."

"This is the thing, Andrea. It is normal, and I know it's hard to believe right now, because your whole life people have probably just expected you to like boys, but when it comes down to it, nothing really changes, a person's gender doesn't change how deeply your love might be, or the type of life you can have. And I'll tell you this, it comes back to your own head again, most people don't actually care as much as you do. Britt and I can walk into a grocery store in freaking Lima, Ohio holding hands now, and most people don't even bat an eye."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really. I have the best life I could ever imagine, one that, when I was struggling like you are now, I didn't think was possible. But it is, that I can promise you, even if I can't promise you it's going to be easy getting to that point."

"Thanks, you know, for telling me this stuff. It's good to be able to talk about it out loud, that, I'm, you know-" She paused for a moment, pursing her lips and wiping her eyes.

"Don't ever say it for someone else's sake, Andrea." I soothed, giving her an out if she wasn't ready.

"I'm not. I just, have never said it out loud before. But yeah, I guess I'm a lesbian." She exhaled heavily, like she was removing a huge weight from her body, and I smiled so widely, hardly able to believe I could feel so proud of a girl I'd just met. "Wow."

"Wow is right. That was really, really brave of you."

"I didn't even think I was capable of showing my brave like that. It like actually feels kind of good. Weird, and insanely scary, but also good."

"Good." I reached over and put my hand on her shoulder. "That's a really big step for you."

Again, Andrea was quiet, processing what she'd just done. I hoped, for her sake, that she didn't freak herself out completely and try to push the feelings back down, but she'd sent me an e-mail, she'd sort of showed up, and she had said it to another person. Those were big steps. I wasn't sure what the big part of her story was, that was hers to share with me when and if she was ever ready to, but I felt proud of her, and weirdly proud of myself for being with her for a big moment like that. Not wanting to be pervasive while she was having a moment in her own head, I tapped at the keys on the piano, not really playing a song I knew, but maybe the beginnings of one I could write in the future.

"Oh yeah." She said. "Aren't I supposed to like, sing or something? Isn't that the point?"

"Sort of." I laughed a little. "But not really. It's just about expressing your emotions in a way that's easier to handle, but you did pretty well just speaking. Did you want to sing?"

"I mean, I really only ever sing in the shower. And I don't even have a song in mind."

"Well, if you feel like singing, we could sing one you might know, one that _I _used to sing a lot in the shower to make myself feel better."

"Sure, I guess, why not? You already know my deepest, darkest secret, I guess you won't make fun of me for my singing voice."

"Nope, I definitely won't. And don't forget that it won't always be your deepest, darkest secret."

"Yeah, I know. It'll definitely be some kind of release when that's true." She smiled, and I began playing the piano again, singing the words I'd sang dozens of times.

_I don't wanna be left behind_

_Distance was a friend of mine_

_Catching breath in a web of lies_

_I've spent most of my life_

_Riding waves, playing acrobat_

_Shadowboxing the other half_

_Learning how to react_

_I've spent most of my time_

_Catching my breath, letting it go,_

_Turning my cheek for the sake of the show_

_Now that you know, this is my life,_

_I won't be told what's supposed to be right._

Andrea _did _know the song, and her voice got stronger as she continued to sing the lyrics along with me. I thought that I saw a brightness in her eyes that wasn't there when she'd first come in, but I wasn't sure if that was just wishful thinking on my part. Maybe people would think the day was a failure for me, since only one kid had shown up, but I felt myself getting super sappy, thinking that it was totally worth my time for that reason alone. I knew Brittany would agree with me on that, at least, even if no one else did, and I was so, so incredibly grateful, like I'd thought a million other times in my life, for the woman who meant everything to me.

_Catch my breath, no one can hold me back,_

_I ain't got time for that_

_Catch my breath, won't let them get me down,_

_It's all so simple now._

"Okay, that felt _really _good to sing. Who knew a Kelly Clarkson song could make me feel all empowered?" Andrea laughed, breathless from singing.

"I think you're more empowered by your own decision today, but hey, a little Kelly never hurt anyone."

* * *

After I'd taken my keys out to lock the door, Andrea gave me a quick hug, and then got _extremely _embarrassed by the fact that she had. I reassured her that it was fine, that it was totally expected to act like that after an intense display of emotion (my Pierce was showing again), and promised that we could talk whenever she needed to, and that I wanted to hear all about her progress as she came to terms with herself. Walking out to my car, I quickly called Brittany to tell her I'd be home soon, and that I couldn't wait to talk to her, before sitting down in the driver's seat, and sliding my hands under my sweater to rest over my flat stomach.

"You witnessed something pretty huge today, tadpole." I tucked my chin into my neck and looked down at where my hands were. "Even if it didn't seem like much, I think we may have helped to change that girl's life."

Walking in the door after being gone for the day was always one of my absolute favorite feelings in the entire world. Both Brittany and Annie came to greet me, Britt kissing me before I could take my shoes off (we always joked that it was like a 1950's sitcom whenever one of us came home at dinnertime), and Annie excitedly telling me about every single thing she'd done from the moment she'd kissed me goodbye for Britt to take her to school, up until the instant before she heard my keys in the door. It was the best kind of greeting, and I couldn't help but think that it was exactly the kind of normal that I'd talked about to Andrea. While Brittany went back into the kitchen to finish up the roast chicken she was making for dinner, I dropped down to rest for a few minutes with Annie, who had gathered up everything she'd made at the museum and was excited to show me.

"Look at this, Mamí!" She exclaimed excitedly, hanging a long piece of paper from a string around her neck. "This is my superhero cape! Mama helped me cut it out, and then I wrote this giant letter A and painted it all by myself!"

"I love it, _mija! _Maybe, after you're done playing with it, we can hang it up in your bedroom as a decoration."

"That sounds like a great idea!" She took off the cape and came to curl up on my lap as I stroked my fingers through her hair. "Mama said you were doing superhero stuff today too."

"Hmm." I smiled down at my daughter, loving how wholeheartedly both she and Brittany believed in me, even though I was just in the very beginning stages of this. "I didn't learn how to fly, or have any spiderwebs that shoot out of my hands, but I guess yeah, like a superhero, I was helping someone who needed it."

"Why'd they need help?" Annie asked, always so inquisitive.

"Well, baby, she was a girl who is a lot like I was when I was younger, and she just needed someone to talk to, and someone who could help her to show her brave."

"Like you and Mama help me to be brave?"

"Yeah, something like that _corazóncita."_

"That's really nice of you." She wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug, and I kissed her nose. "Because you're super good at knowing how to do that."

"Why, thank you." I laughed in a fake formal accent, loving my daughter's compliments probably more than anyone else's, because they were always full of such genuine adoration.

"Come on, my two favorite girls." Brittany appeared in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room. "That's enough cuddle time without me, let's have some dinner so we can all snuggle up together."

* * *

After we'd eaten dinner, gone through Annie's bedtime routine, and all snuggled up together reading three chapters of _Little House on the Prairie_, our daughter was sound asleep in her bed, and I'd found my way into one of my favorite positions in the world, naked in a bubble bath with Brittany's arms around me. Even though if was so excited to share everything that had happened with Britt, we were silent for a few moments, me just wanting to relish in how far I'd come from the story I'd told earlier in the day. The one thing though that hadn't changed, because even my love for the woman holding me had changed and grown deeper over time, was how completely safe and cared for I felt while her strong arms were around me. I sighed into her touch as she worked the fingers of her right hand over the area where my shoulders met my neck, the spot she knew seemed to get tense every day, and her left hand was laced with mine just below my chest. I tilted my head up so I could have better access to her lips, and I kissed her deeply to convey all that was going through my head.

"I'm so excited to hear all about your day, San. I know it went well, because you've been bubbling since you walked through the door."

"It did, seriously, I didn't think anyone was going to come, and I kind if felt like a failure, but then I found this girl in the hallway who was too afraid to come inside." I proceeded to tell her all about Andrea while she washed my hair, and I could feel her excitement as big as mine. "It was so awesome, I mean, I know it wasn't some huge turnout, but I think it actually helped me figure a few things out."

"Like what?"

"Well, I think there's a missing piece that I hadn't considered, I mean, imagine high school me walking into a room full of complete strangers and singing about my gay." Brittany's laugh tickled my back, and she kissed me on the back of my neck. "If there were other people who'd been there today, I don't think this girl would have had the courage to come in, you know? So I obviously haven't had time to work out details, but I think there needs to be some kind of one-on-one mentorship piece or something, I don't know."

"Yeah, that actually makes a lot of sense."

"I need so much money, Britt, I feel like I wait patiently, or, I guess, really not patiently, for the mail to come every day."

"I know. I want it to come for you too, honey. But I'm so happy today went well, you're going to make so many big things happen."

"You don't know how much I'm hoping for that." I sighed. "Oh! And I think I figured out a name, after talking to Andrea and then to Annie tonight. Tell me if you think this sounds crazy lame, Show Your Brave."

"That's not lame at all, Santana. It's like, everyone has brave inside of them, but sometimes everyone just needs a little push to show it."

"Exactly!" I yelped excitedly, and Brittany hugged me tighter and then leaned down for another kiss. "I told the story today about the time I came to your house in a snowstorm."

"It was that day, wasn't it?" She asked, not needing to elaborate any further.

"Yeah."

"I figured as much, something about you changed after that night, and in a good way."

"It just made me think about things again, how you've always been so patient with me. I mean, even now, you always know when to give me space and when to hang onto me tighter. I think that there are things I would have ended up being able to figure out on my own if I hadn't had you, but every part of my journey that you've been there for has been so much better."

"Well, we're in it together for life." She said, tapping her rings against mine. "And now this new one is just beginning."

"Two new ones." I reminded her, moving our hands below my belly button.

"Two new ones." She repeated. "I love you so much, Santana Lopez-Pierce."

"And I love you, Brittany Lopez-Pierce. Forever and always."

* * *

**End Note: So you've all met Andrea, who will be important in this big thing Santana is trying to piece together in her head. I know it was light on the Brittana, but obviously setting up for things to come. Hope you enjoyed! And the song is ****_Catch My Breath _****by Kelly Clarkson.**


	12. Chapter 12-Seeing Is Believing

**Author's Note: As usual, a big thank you for your follows and favorites, and to Blueskkies, naynay1963, sarcasticSweetLadykisses89, Chuckleshan, lg4az, ishlheard2day, mocblue, AlabamaMiles. Here is a fairly Annie-centric chapter for you all, although as usual, it's also building on some bigger things.**

* * *

For the first week and a half after I'd finally named and decided to make changes to the Show Your Brave project, whenever I wasn't feeling terribly sick, taking obscenely long naps (I was surprised at just how tired I was) or going about my usual routine with Annie and Brittany, I forced myself to be in the office. My mind had been working overtime, just trying to get everything down on paper, and because I'd been so distracted with all of that and with getting ready to go to Lima for Thanksgiving, I hadn't even had time to notice that my body, in the very slightest of ways, had begun to change. It wasn't until the second Saturday of November, that it finally hit me as I stood in our bedroom and had to struggle to clasp my bra. When I looked down, I was shocked that my boobs, which I thought had been normally sized a day earlier, seemed to be spilling out of the cups. As ridiculous as it sounds, I half expected to see my stomach bulge as well, but even the minuscule amount of pudge that had developed just between my hip bones managed to completely shock me.

"Britt!" I called out, and she stepped out of the bathroom, her toothbrush still in her mouth. "I think...I think I need to get some new bras."

"Wow." She said through the toothpaste foam, her eyes widening before she turned to spit it out and then closed the gap between the two of us, grabbing both of my hands. "When did _that _happen?"

"I have absolutely no idea, I swear this bra fit me yesterday."

Out of nowhere, I got so incredibly nervous at just how real everything was. I guess that's where the expression _seeing is believing _comes from, because even though I knew it would be a while before I developed a bump that would give away my pregnancy to other people, actually seeing the beginnings of the new shape my body would take set my heart racing, both in excitement and sheer terror. Even though the baby was only the size of a freaking raspberry, my uterus was stretching to make room, my boobs were growing to make something our tadpole wouldn't even need for another seven months, and in a matter of fifteen seconds, shit seemed to get really, really real. As I started to feel completely overwhelmed, tears sprung to my eyes (at least I was getting used to the hormonal outbursts) and I struggled to keep myself together.

"Hey." Brittany said softly, as she kissed my forehead and my lips. Then, as gently as she possibly could, because she knew how much they ached, she brushed her lips over the exposed tops of my breasts, and my breath hitched watching the tears that formed in _her _eyes. "Don't cry, San. You're so beautiful."

"It's just..." I buried my face in the crook of her neck, breathing in the almond scent of her shampoo (I was so glad thatdidn't make me sick) as her fingers danced up and down my spine, gently soothing what she knew was going on inside of my head. "Maybe it's not even a big moment, I don't know. It's just that I didn't expect to notice anything physically so soon, and then I could hardly get my bra to close, and there's like an extra _something _happening on the lowest part of my abs. I mean okay, Brittany, I know there's a baby growing inside of me, but I'm kind of totally weirded out right now. I guess feeling like a sick, exhausted, emotional mess didn't make it real for me, but seeing my freaking boobs grow is apparently too much to handle."

"Well, we know how important they are to you. And you know that _I've_ always loved them." Her lips found mine again and she laughed against them, knowing that she needed to change her tactic in calming me down, knowing that if she could sort of make light of it, it would be easier for me to deal with. "But this is like a whole new level of hotness. I can't wait until they don't hurt you anymore."

"Oh?" I raised an eyebrow, finding myself mirroring her laugh. "You're excited for the growth spurt the rambunctious twins have gone through, are you? Well trust me, babe, they miss coming out to play too."

"Maybe in the meantime, we should go buy you some sexy new bras, you know, so they don't feel unappreciated?"

"I'm sure they'd love that." Her hands gently rubbed up and down my sides, every cherishing touch that I felt calming me even more than her words, and I could tell that she'd sort of drifted off into her own thought process about what was happening to me.

"Beautiful." She breathed again, and I stepped closer, desperately needing her deep, passionate kisses, and her cheeks flushed when I pulled away. "You're okay, right?"

"Yeah, I mean I know I should have been expecting it, but I wasn't and it took me off guard for a second. I'm good now though." I told her as she opened the top drawer of our dresser and handed me a sports bra.

"For now, at least. And remember when I was pregnant, even though my chest didn't hurt like yours does, I was still more comfortable in one most of the time." She explained, even though I already knew why. I smiled at her appreciatively, stealing one last adoring kiss before the two of us _really _had to finish getting ready.

My standards for what I'd leave the house in had completely changed in the month and a half that I'd been pregnant, probably because I usually felt like crap, and really, really didn't care what anyone else thought of how I looked. After Britt dressed quickly, she went down the hall to tell Annie it was time to leave, and I pulled on leggings (because they're seriously the most comfortable article of clothing ever) and one of Britt's studio hoodies, which thankfully covered my ass because she was so much taller than me. Sweeping my hair up into a ponytail, and slipping into a pair of casual slouchy boots, I made my way down the stairs, feeling totally temperature appropriate, and, at the risk of sounding like I was trying to become a writer for Hallmark, or some terrible TV dramedy, kind of like I was wrapped up in a Brittany hug.

"Ready to go, Mamí?" Annie asked me, nervously hopping between feet.

"Ready I am." I smiled, bending down to kiss the top of her head. "Are _you_?"

"Course I am, that's why I'm standing by the door. You're always the slowest getting ready-er, silly."

"She does have a point." Brittany smirked, and then softened it into a loving smile when she noticed what I was wearing.

"_Shut up_." I mouthed to her. "_Your clothes are more comfortable than mine."_

"Mmhm. I didn't say anything." She chuckled, and tugged playfully at my hood strings. "You do look super cute though."

The three of us, with Brittany and Annie bundled up significantly more than I was, wearing just a hat and gloves over my unzipped jacket, made our way up Sullivan Street to the park. Annie was nearly silent, swinging between us, and I ached to just pick her up and tell her everything would be okay. We'd been talking about it to her for a week, that Rachel and Brice would come to our park with her, and Thoreau from her class (yes, people of New York, continue naming your children like they're dogs) would be there to play with them too. When Britt and I brought it up to Annie, there was an excited sparkle in her eye, one that told us we were making the right decision, even if her fear was attempting to win out. Truth be told, I was nervous too, and I knew that despite the gigantic, reassuring smile that was plastered across her face, Brittany felt it the same, if not more than I did. It was one thing that I knew would never get easier for us, no matter how much time passed, watching Annie have difficulties, but like countless specialists had told us, we could do nothing but give her constant reassurance and be there to catch her when she fell.

"Are you excited, _mija?_" I asked, looking down at my small girl who was kicking an acorn with her purple sequined boot.

"Guess so." She shrugged, trying to show me her big smile, even though it was clear from her eyes that she didn't mean it.

"We're just going to the park, sweetheart." Brittany soothed, moving us out of the center of the sidewalk so we could stop. "It's the same thing as every other day, except someone you know from your school is there."

"I know, Mama. But-" Before she could get the words out, big tears started falling from her eyes, and I watched, feeling completely helpless as her body started to shake with sobs.

Without missing a beat, Brittany scooped Annie up, and our baby girl clung desperately to the collar of her Mama's coat, as if it were her greatest lifeline. I stepped in closer as Britt backed herself up against the brick building, holding herself up against the weight of her own emotions. I locked eyes with my wife as I began rubbing circles up and down Annie's back._Te sostendré si caes. Estaré ahí contigo si me llamas_, I sang into her ear, telling her the greatest truth I could, from both of her mothers, _I will soothe you if you fall, I'll be right there when you call_. It was so incredibly hard, knowing that even when our girl was at her happiest, she still had struggles happening inside of her head, every day, and when she was at her saddest, it was crippling. Sometimes, I truly believed that her intelligence and emotional self-awareness was more of a curse than a blessing. While she couldn't, even with her advanced language skills, articulate exactly how she felt, she knew she was different, and different is hard for anyone, but at such a young age, it's nearly impossible.

"I just want to-" Annie's words were muffled by both her tears and the puffiness of Brittany's coat as she tried to compose herself. "I just want be like everybody else."

"Oh, baby." Brittany nuzzled her nose against Annie's head and I could hear the catch in her voice. "You're so amazing just the way you are."

" 'S too hard, Mama." She sobbed again, and sensing my wife's own emotional struggle, I opened up my arms to take her. She didn't even try to fight me on it, she just silently passed her to me and squeezed her own eyes shut to keep herself from crying.

"Annie." I whispered, leaning against the wall beside Britt. "I know how hard it is to feel different, and so does your Mama, but I promise you, it's okay."

"But Mamí." She whimpered, wrapping her fingers in my hair like she did for comfort when she was very small, and I couldn't help but think that in that moment, she looked just like the tiny, frail, absolutely beautiful newborn that I saw just moments after her birth. "You know how to have friends. And I try so, so hard but I _can't._"

"My sweet, sweet girl." I cradled her close to my heart, sinking down to sit on the cold pavement, not even caring how filthy the sidewalk was, or that dozens of people walking on Houston Street for freaking cronuts, or whatever the new fad was, were probably eyeing me like I was crazy, homeless, or both. "I know how hard you try, and I see you make steps that are bigger than you even know every single day. But here's another secret for you to keep locked up with all of my others, I never made any of my friends, they all made _me._"

"What does that mean?" Annie's eyes met mine, the tears still falling, and Brittany, who had sat down beside us, soothingly brushed every one that fell away with her thumb.

"It means that sometimes, even when it's so hard for you to make friends, there are other people who will still make it happen. Every single one of my friends that you know, and even Mama, made me their friend before I knew how to make them mine."

"It's true." Brittany nodded when our daughter looked at her for confirmation. "We all knew how worth it Mamí was to have in our lives, and even if you have trouble making words, or if you never learn how to approach people to be your friends, there are other kids who will still come to you and want you to play with them. Thoreau's daddy told me that he's very excited to go to the park with you today, so I'm pretty sure that means he already wants to be friends with you."

"But what am I supposed to do?"

"There's nothing special that you have to do, because you're already so special without even trying, Bean. You just have to be _Annie_, and that is enough for anyone who truly wants to be your friend." Brittany promised her, and I reached over to link my fingers with my wife's.

"And what happens if nobody likes me?" The tiny blonde asked, another small sob hiccuping out of her.

"Well Annalise, I think that's pretty impossible." I kissed each of her cheeks and looked into her searching eyes. "I happen to know that you are extremely likable. And even if you and Thoreau don't end up being good friends, the three of us, me, you and Mama, will know that you gave it your very best try, and then we'll try again with anyone else you'd like."

"Okay." She said softly, looking between Brittany and I who were both desperately trying to keep the smiles on our faces for our daughter's sake. "But if I want to go home, I'm allowed?"

"Of course you are." Brittany moved away the hair that had fallen across the baby's forehead and kissed her there. "We'll see what happens when we get there, okay? And don't forget that if you feel nervous, you can always come sneak a hug from either of us, or hold on tightly to Brice's hand."

* * *

After another few moments of reassuring words, hugs and kisses, Brittany stood back up and took a less devastated Annie from my arms before offering me her hand to help me stand. My emotions sort of crept up on me when we started walking again, and I had to quickly bite back tears and wipe my face on my scarf before I managed to start another scene in the middle of the sidewalk. Feeling Brittany's hand squeeze mine tighter, and the half-smile she sent me, telling me I was lucky I could chalk it up to hormones made me feel a little better as we opened up the gate to the park. I know it was irrational, but the dormant, ugly part of my brain that solved intense emotions with anger couldn't help but think _so help me, this kid messes with mine and his parents might need me to be restrained. _It was terrible, I knew, and not something I would ever act upon, but also kind of natural at the same time. Someone threatens a bear's babies, they rip off their heads, right?

"Hey guys!" Rachel called out from her place over by the swings. Finn was away at a conference for the weekend, and she'd been more than excited to spend the day with us. "Aw, Santana you look so-"

"Don't you dare say cute, Rachel Berry-Hudson." I half snapped, half laughed, and gave Brice a high five when his swing came forward. "Morning _chiquito._"

"G'morning e'reybody!" The pudgy little boy sang out, and I was thrilled to see a real smile on Annie's face.

"Hi Bricey! Hi Auntia Rachel!" She said excitedly as Britt settled her onto the swing beside his.

"I'm gonna do a quick walk around." I told Brittany, squeezing Annie's calf as she stuck her legs straight out to swing. "See if they're here yet."

"Okay sounds good. We'll be a-swingin'" My wife told me, and our daughter laughed, like she always did when we said it the way she did up until less than a year earlier.

It was good for me to walk away for a minute, to quiet my emotional uprising (I refused to call them mood swings yet). Breathing deeply, my eyes scanned the playground, reminding myself of all the things I needed to whenever I felt upset about my daughter. _She is healthy, she is loved, she is protected, she is going to be okay._ Just when the lump in my throat seemed small enough to handle, I spotted Thoreau playing hopscotch with an older girl and a different man, one with significantly lighter skin, than the one I saw at school each day.

"Hi Thoreau." I smiled at the wiry boy, hoping he recognized me, and he looked up from his game to wave at me.

"Hello Annie's mom!" He grinned. "Papa, look, they're here!"

"Hey. I'm Santana Lopez-Pierce." I reached out my hand to shake his, and sometimes, I swear, I was just as awkward as Annie at meeting new people, and I had twenty-five years on her.

"Morning Santana. I'm Jarrod." He took my hand in his and shook it warmly. "Wow buddy, you must be right about Annie being the prettiest in her class if this is her mom."

"Um." I wasn't sure whether to feel flattered, offended, or just more than slightly uncomfortable. "Thanks."

"Sorry, sorry." He looked away bashfully. "Christopher keeps telling me I make people uncomfortable when I say inappropriate things like that."

"Christopher?" I raised an eyebrow, but laughed a little, thinking he would get along excellently with Brittany.

"My husband." He chuckled, and the realization hit me. God, I definitely needed to take a look at the parents names on Annie's class list to save myself from future embarrassment. I _definitely _hadn't realized that Thoreau had two dads, I'd just assumed the man Brittany and I had been speaking to on the phone had been the same one I saw at school. "And this is our daughter Emerson, but we call her Emmy."

"Hi Emmy. How are you sweetheart?"

"Very well thank you." She answered politely, and I couldn't help but think how completely _hilarious _it was that the kids were named Emerson and Thoreau.

"I know what you're thinking." Jarrod shook his head with a smile. "Christopher owns O'Malley's, the book cafe in Soho, he's really into literature. But hey, Emmy had twins in her first grade class named Sherlock and Watson, so I guess we aren't the nerdiest people in New York."

"Hey, I grew up with the name Santana, I have no right to judge anyone's names. Brittany and Annie are over by the swings, do you want to come over and meet the famous Annie, and the woman who's _actually_ responsible for her good looks?"

"Don't sell yourself short, trust me, I take credit for how handsome this guy is, even though I might have no right to." He joked, ruffling his dark skin son's hair, and I felt myself genuinely laugh. The man in front of me looked about as much like his son as Annie looked like me. Shockingly, even though we'd only exchanged a few words, I actually found myself _liking _this guy. "C'mon little buddy, let's go over to the swings."

Thoreau tore off towards the swings, and Jarrod made sure Emerson was okay to continue playing on her own before following me in the same direction. While Brittany and Rachel exchanged introductions with the man and his son, one of Britt's eyes never leaving our daughter, I stilled the swing she was on and watched cautiously as she took in the appearance of the boy she so desperately wanted to be friends with. Thoreau stood back a little bit, possibly shy in his own right, while Annie looked down at her shoes, occasionally stealing glances at the boy, while Brice babbled away from his own swing.

" 'S it okay if I swing next to you, Annie?" Thoreau asked, and when she nodded slowly, I felt a smile split my face. "Thanks."

"Sweetheart, why don't you three have one of your swinging contests?" Brittany asked, trying to help her along.

"Okay. DoyouwanttohaveaswingingcontestThoreau?" She squeaked out in one breath, her voice barely audible, and not even bothering to ask Brice, since she knew his answer was always yes.

"Sure!"

"Be careful Jarrod." Brittany warned, taking her place behind Annie's swing. "Rachel will try to cheat, but me and my girl always win."

"We do not cheat." Rachel argued, and Brittany lifted her eyebrows, daring her to really challenge that.

"Oh really? You hear that, Ro? Sounds like Annie and her Mama have given us a challenge. It's on, ladies and Brice!"

"I'll judge." I announced, watching Annie grip the chains of the swing tightly in preparation, and so glad that Brittany had suggested something that she loved so much.

"No funny business, short stuff." Jarrod feigned seriousness, and a crossed my arms across my chest in mock disgust at him calling me short.

"Never. Lopez-Pierces play fair, right Annie?"

"Right Mamí." Annie said, slightly louder than the last time she spoke. "No cheating."

"Okay, ready?" Brittany, Rachel and Jarrod held out their hands, and all three of the kids swung their legs beneath them. "On your mark. Get set. Go."

The three kids (pushed by their more competitive adults) set off swinging, I walked back and forth in front of them, pretending to take it completely seriously. While they got higher and higher, they all began to laugh, and as my heart lightened with the sheer volume of my daughter's beautiful laugher, I pursed my lips, blowing both her and Brittany invisible kisses. Finally, when I was pretty sure they were going high enough that someone might flip over the swings (my total paranoia), I took one last look over all of them and held my hands up for the adults to step backward.

"Would you look at this?" I did my best impression of the race commentator in the movie _Cars. _"We have a three way tie!"

"A tie!" An elated shriek rang out, and I was in complete shock that it came out of Annie's mouth. She seemed to be just as surprised, as she covered her mouth with one hand in a fruitless effort to hold the giggles that were spilling out inside. When my eyes caught Brittany's, I saw her eyes shining, one hand resting over her heart.

"Alright guys, all this pushing has me pretty tired. I think it's time for the jungle gym." Britt suggested, lifting Annie down from her swing and stopping to accept the gigantic hug our daughter gave her. _You're doing great, _I heard my wife whisper in her ear, and Annie's smile only grew wider.

At first, I stood extremely close to the play structure as the kids climbed up and chased each other around on the tiny wooden bridges, but after close to a half hour, once the unmistakable pitch of Annie's voice rang out more often than not, I felt Brittany's hand between my shoulder blades, reassuring me that it was okay to sit down on the bench with the other adults. As soon as I sat down, my arm curled around Britt's waist and my thumb hitched itself in her jeans pocket as she rested her head against mine and gently squeezed my thigh. Neither of us could tear our eyes away though, even as we managed to make intelligent conversation with Rachel and Jarrod, we just needed to watch to truly believe it was happening. Annie was really, really doing it, she was making another one of her gigantic leaps forward. We couldn't hear the majority of what she was, but she _wasn't _just talking to Brice as she called out things like _follow me, look _and _wait up. _It was big, probably one of the biggest moments in her short life, and I could have sat there forever, just staring at her.

"Our big brave girl." Brittany whispered, keeping it a private moment between the two of us, and I could do nothing but nod furiously in agreement, and let my lips linger on a kiss pressed against her cheek, a totally different kind of tears than the ones that had fallen earlier threatening to break forth from behind my eyes.

We stayed at the park close to three hours, with me only having to sneak into the bathroom to be sick one time, and when we finally began packing up to leave, Annie eyed both Brittany and I, and summoned us close to her with the wave of her hand. Excusing ourselves, we made our way over to our daughter and crouched down in front of her. Immediately, she threw one arm around each of us, and we squeezed her tightly, allowing every ounce of excited emotion to pass between us. As we let go, Annie pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, and then gave us her _I'm going to ask for something _smile.

"What's up, buttercup?" Brittany asked, and Annie started up her giggling again.

"D'you think everybody could get some ice cream before we go home?" Her little face was flushed from all the running around, and I wouldn't have cared if it was a negative twelve degree February day in Lima, I would have bought her ice cream, or even an ice cream truck, an ice cream store, a freaking ice cream factory after the big day she had.

"Of course, _mi amor_. You know we always love having ice cream, but we'll go check with Ro's dad and Aunt Rachel, okay?"

"Kay, Mamí."

"Did you have fun today?" Brittany pulled out Annie's disheveled ponytail, and redid it.

"The most fun. I like having two friends to play with." She told us earnestly, and neither of us could resist going in for another hug.

* * *

With the approval of Jarrod (and Rachel, but her approval doesn't really count, because I can just _make _her do things), the eight of us and the kids, with Emmy zipping ahead on her scooter, made our way over to Emack & Bolio's on Houston. Once the kids were settled in the high seats in front of the window with their ice cream cones, Brittany and I quickly had a silent conversation, and she turned towards _our _potential new friend.

"We'd really like to have you all over for dinner, after we get back from Ohio for Thanksgiving if you want. The kids really seemed to get along well, and we think that you're okay too." She winked at him, and he laughed wholeheartedly.

"Well I think you're both kind of okay too. And you're not bad yourself, Rachel. Although I may end up divorced because I met _the _Rachel Berry while my husband is at work. I'll have to tell him you're not as much of a pain in the ass as the tabloids say."

"Oh no, she is." I swore, and Rachel tossed her napkin at me. "But he'll meet her at dinner. As long as you're not just coming for that reason, because otherwise Rach, you're uninvited and Finn can bring Brice."

"We'll definitely be coming for the L-Ps. Chris needs to hear some of these 'Brittany says things that are more inappropriate than me' stories, and I'm pretty sure my boy found a new headliner for the list of things he won't stop talking about. I think he's pretty much enamored with your daughter."

"Uh oh." Rachel faux-gasped. "I'd be careful saying that, Santana will go over there right now and give him her famous _don't touch my kid until she's thirty _speech."

"Duly noted." Jarrod looked over at Annie, sitting between the two boys and then back to my direction. "Annie has some serious game though, look at her, getting two boys to share their ice cream with her. At her age, I could only wish for that."

"Well look at her moms." Britt smirked. "We've kinda got it going on. It was a sad, sad day for all the men in the world when the two of us got married and we proved that they officially had no chance."

"Not _all _the men." Jarrod corrected. "As beautiful as you both are, some of us were most definitely not trying to get all up on that."

When we finally parted ways, Annie gave hugs to _both _boys, and a shy wave to Emerson before nestling herself in Brittany's arms for the remainder of the short walk to her house. Annie put her hand in the print at the door, while Brittany put the keys in the lock and I picked up the small bag that was sitting on the doorstep. Immediately, Annie ran up to her room to tell Milky Way all about her day (I always joked that he was her Lord Tubbington) and I quickly realized where the bag was from and caught Brittany's sneaky little smile.

"You're such a sneak." I laughed, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her in for a kiss. "When did you even do this?"

"When you were in the bathroom earlier. Please, Agent Provocateur is basically around the corner, had I known they'd deliver bras directly to our door and not charge for shipping, I'd have been sending you sexy lingerie every day for the past three months."

"That, my dear, seems like a surefire way to bankrupt us. But you're amazing, and I love you, you know that, right?"

"Well, some hot chick with great boobs tells me it pretty often, I guess I can't really argue, can I?"

"Never argue with a hot chick with great boobs. I'm pretty sure you'll never win. Although if there are two of us, I'm not sure how that works."

"Don't over think it." She chastised playfully. "Just promise me I'll get to see you try them on later."

"As if I'd have it any other way."

* * *

Hours later, long after Annie and I had fallen asleep together on the couch while Brittany worked out a few changes on some of the dance numbers for the showcase, we'd all played multiple rounds of Yahtzee Jr., and cooked and ate dinner together, Annie was taking a very special bath in the jacuzzi tub in our bedroom. I sat up on the ledge of the tub with my tired feet soaking in the bathwater while Britt kneeled on the floor, washing the last remnants of cookie dough ice cream out of our daughter's hair. Despite our midday nap, it was obvious that she was fading fast, and I watched her sleepy eyes still flicker with so much excitement.

"T'morrow can I call Ohio and tell everybody 'bout my new friend Thoreau?" She asked hopefully, nodding her head vigorously as if she needed to physically convince us to say yes.

"Of course you can." Brittany promised, tilting Annie's head back and dumping a cup full of water over it to rinse out the shampoo. "And we can even send some pictures on my phone tonight, if you want."

"Oh Mama, yes please! And thank you for helping me be brave today. And you too Mamí."

"We're just here to hold your hands, baby girl." Britt kissed her wet nose, and I felt my millionth surge of love for them of the day. I swear, sometimes I seriously wondered if there was some kind of limit to just how many times your heart could lurch in such a beautiful way. If there was, I was positive that my quota would be just about up.

"Mama's right, that was all you Annalise."

* * *

With Annie tucked into bed and sound asleep, pictures sent to her grandparents and Liz in Boston, Britt and I lay on our bed. I'd most definitely made a show for her of trying on my new bras, and then kind of pounced on her, wanting to show her just how much I appreciated how incredibly thoughtful and loving she was to me. With our limbs still entwined under the covers, we both silently replayed the events of the day in our heads. My head rested against her chest as she ran her hand through my hair, and I played with the fingers on her free one. That, coupled with the beat of her heart against my ear, seemed to lull me, and I sighed happily.

"You know, Britt, I think inviting the O'Malley's over for dinner was such a good idea. I mean, Annie's never actually seen us make many friends. With the exception of Rosa, and sometimes, for you, Rick, when you're not pissed at him, neither of us ever really made friends in New York."

"I never really thought about that, but you're right. It's weird, when our teachable Annie moments end up turning into teachable _us _moments."

"And yet it always seems to work that way, doesn't it?"

"It does for sure." She pulled our entwined fingers up to her lips before lowering them down to rest over my belly button, causing me to think again about the changes there and smile. "But my mom always says that you learn more from your kids than they do from you. I guess she's right."

"Well, at least we know for afact when our two are all grown that we can tell them from our own experience that moms are _always _right."

"That's definitely true. Even though I do think Annie is so insanely brilliant, managing to make friends with the only other kid in her class with interracial gay parents."

"Or so we think." I laughed. "That class list is borderline impossible to read. But you know what the coolest part is?"

"What?"

"Things like that don't even matter anymore in her generation. I mean, I know she'd never really spoken to Thoreau before, but they talk about things in circle time, and she didn't even think to mention to us that he had two dads, because it didn't even phase her. I know that's how we're raising her, obviously, but I think, or at least I hope, that this is what the world is becoming. It makes me feel really good about the future."

"Yeah, San, that makes me really happy too. And it makes me feel so proud that you're still working so hard to make the world an even _better _place."


	13. Chapter 13-This is Gratitude

**Author's Note: And I bring you the fluffiest of Thanksgivings. If you recall, from ****_Finding the Way Back_****, I'm kind of obsessed with the holiday (yay for three more weeks!) so I do wholly enjoy writing it! Hope you guys like. Thank you, thank you for your awesome reviews, AlabamaMiles, pictureofsuccess, Chuckleshan, mocblue, lg4az, naynay1963, ishlheard2day, Blueskkies & Gleek114.**

* * *

Just like we did every year, in the early morning hours on the day before Thanksgiving, Brittany and I loaded Annie into the car and began our long trek back to Lima, to our parents, for the long weekend. After checking, and double checking (okay, maybe quadruple checking) with Dr. Singh when we'd gone to her office a week earlier for my _you can finally stop having needles jammed into you every night _appointment, I'd popped an Emetrol to (hopefully) prevent me from vomiting on the long drive and curled up in the passenger seat beside Brittany. Honestly, I wasn't sure if it was because Brittany was so busy with work in the weeks surrounding the holiday and I felt like we were hardly able to spend any real time together, but from the very second we pulled out of the parking garage, every single year, when we turned off all work for the long weekend to just have exclusive family time, I was reminded time and time again of the many reasons why Thanksgiving was my absolute favorite holiday.

Although my wife _loathed _driving long distances, and I was typically the one who was in the driver's seat whenever we returned to Ohio, Brittany had dug her heels in about me resting on the trip, and I don't think I could have won the argument had I felt well enough to truly try. Before we'd even made it to the West Side Highway, Annie had fallen back into a deep sleep behind Brittany, wrapped in her special car blanket (an old cashmere throw that I'd actually stolen from Kurt'scar), with her head propped up by Milky Way on the side of her car seat. Looking from her, back to Brittany, who, I swear, looked even sexier than she normally did when she drove, bottom lip pulled between her teeth and an intense look of concentration on her face, I smiled contentedly. After resting my head against the window, I pulled Britt's free hand into my lap and worried my thumb over her knuckles.

"What are you thinking about?" She asked, peering at me from the corner of her eye as we arrived on the New Jersey side of the Holland Tunnel, neither of us having said anything since we first got in the car.

"Just this." I made a sweeping gesture of my hand towards her, towards Annie, towards where her own thumb had began (probably unconsciously) circling just above the waistband of my sweatpants. "How _this_ is gratitude, like personified, or, I don't know, something I can articulate better when I don't have crazy brain. How I'm happy there's a day set out to remind us of all the things we should be thankful for every single day. I don't know, I'm probably about three seconds from busting out into song or something, so I'll stop."

"Oh San." Brittany sighed happily. "You don't have to stop. I like hearing it, and I know what you mean. All those small things that we don't even have time to think about while real life goes on around us. The way that even though I've been doing it for years, I still want to hold your hand every single time it's free, and don't think even a hundred years from now, I'd ever get tired of that. The way Annie sounds when she's sleeping, taking ridiculously big gasps of breath, and how I still think it's one of the best noises in the world, because it makes me remember that there was a time where we didn't know if she would ever breathe on her own."

"Yeah." I kissed my fingertips and pressed them to her cheek. "Or how I got lucky enough to end up with a woman who would do anything for me, and who I'd do anything for in return."

"Or how cute you look when you're secretly resting your hands over your stomach, peeking around to make sure no one is looking."

"How you glare at people who come too close to me on the street like you might channel your own inner Snix and knock them down." I countered and her cheeks tinged pink.

"You're not supposed to notice that." She grinned sheepishly. "I'm supposed to be your sneaky super secret protector."

"I won't tell anyone, don't you worry." I laughed. "Okay, here's another one, the way Annie still looks like a little potato bug all curled up on herself when she's sleeping."

"That teeny, tiny, barely even there smile line by your right dimple that I know you're so super vain about, but to me, it's become the prettiest part of your face, because I know that you having it means you've been given so many reasons to smile."

"Aw, Britt." I traced my pointer over the wrinkle she was talking about, and felt a thickness in my throat when I tried to swallow. "How about, the way I think you look the most beautiful when you first wake up in the morning and your eyes are all scrunchy and sleepy, like you're slightly confused that it's morning."

"The way my heart feels like it's going to burst every time you say the words _my wife, _or _my daughter, _or _my family_, because it's like we're bigger and more important than the entire universe."

"And maybe we are." I shrugged, kissing the heel of her hand.

"Yeah." She glanced in the rearview mirror at Annie, and then back to me, and down to my stomach. "I think you're absolutely right."

* * *

Sporadically, throughout our drive, we continued to spout out things we were thankful for, Annie joining in when she woke up. We didn't talk about the big things, the obvious ones that we'd tuck into thankful rolls or say the next afternoon at dinner with our parents, but the smallest of things, the things that somehow seemed even more important than the big ones, while the three of us existed in our own small bubble of space and time. After several pit stops to use the bathroom (apparently I was completely unable to sink my newly overactive bladder with Annie's) and a break for late breakfast, I felt our early start begin to creep up on me. Lulled by the motion of the car, which, thanks to the nausea medication, didn't make me feel sick, coupled with Annie's chatter and the sound of Brittany singing along to some Luke Bryan song on the one radio station we picked up in Pennsylvania (a country station, of course), I felt myself slowly fading into sleep. When I awoke with a start, my hand still hanging on to Britt's and the side of my face cold from where it had been pressed up against the window, I was shocked to see us passing Burt's tire shop and the busiest intersection in Lima.

"Hi." I mumbled sleepily, smiling at Brittany when she looked over at me.

"Mamí!" Annie cheered from the backseat. "You're finally 'wake! It's been three whole hours! We had to play two ABC games without you, and now look how close we are!"

"I see that, _mija._" I laughed, and turned around to squeeze her foot. "Sorry, B, I don't think I've ever slept so long in the car. You could have woken me up."

"That would have been like waking the dead, you should have heard how loud you were snoring." She teased, and I sucked my teeth at her. "And we were all good here, thankfully you and Annie decided not to fall asleep at the same time, so I wasn't ever all by myself."

"Thanks, baby girl."

"Welcome, Mamí. I got to be Mama's driving buddy and help her find the numbers on the signs and everything."

"And you did a great job sweetheart, I never would have found my way without you." Brittany told her, winking at me.

"So, I'll bet you a million dollars that my mother is already at your parent's house."

"We don't _have _a million dollars." Britt giggled. "And can you even wager with someone who shares the same money as you? Besides, even if it _was_ allowed, I'd never take that bet, because I know you're absolutely right. She's probably been there since last night, and _my _mother was probably encouraging it."

Not surprisingly, I'd spent the better part of a week complaining about my mother's incessant phone calls, which were sometimes under the guise of simply wanting to talk to Annie, but the minute we reached the Pierce's driveway and I saw her car parked there, I suddenly got ridiculously excited about seeing her. I knew I'd gone completely soft over a lot of things in the years I'd been married to Brittany, but it seemed like Tad (I'd hated when Brittany first called the baby that, but it had kind of stuck) was taking that to a whole new level. As lame as it sounds, I really, really just wanted to hug my mom, and let her and Susan be stupidly excited over their new grape sized grandbaby. Annie was shrieking in the backseat, unable to control her elation that she was just seconds away from seeing her grandparents, and Brittany just couldn't stop smiling at both our daughter, and at the look I knew that she caught on my face. We didn't even bother to take anything out of the car, Britt just unbuckled Annie and she took off running toward the house, while we followed close behind, hand in hand.

"Poppy!" Annie cried, launching herself into Stephen's arms the instant he opened the door. She hadn't seen either of her grandfathers since just before we'd moved into our house, and in four-year old time, that's about a century too long. "I missed you so, so much!"

"Is this my number one girl? I don't think so, she's too grown up to be little Annalise."

"You're so silly." She giggled, wrapping her arms tighter around Brittany's father's neck. "Course it's me, you're nob'dy else's Poppy."

"Oh silly me, how could I forget that?" He sent a wink over in mine and Brittany's direction, and before we could make it to the doorstep, Susan, my parents and Lizzie all appeared, passing Annie between them and praising everything from the way she knocked on the door all by herself right down to the color of her shoes.

"Girls, quit standing out on the walkway and come over here!" Susan called out, and Brittany led me up the stairs.

There were so many hugs exchanged, that I absolutely felt emotionally overwhelmed. Honestly, it was an inevitability, whenever we came back to our hometown, but all of my raging hormones were clearly amplifying the effect. Even after so much time, the idea of a big, beautiful family scene on the porch, like something out of those holiday car commercials (minus the giant bow) effected me to such an extent that I never thought possible. It was nearly perfect, so incredibly normal, and _exactly _what I'd meant when I told Andrea that her life didn't have to be all that much different that she'd always believed. When my mother caught me up in her arms, tears glistening in her eyes, I seriously thought I was going to lose the last ounce of emotional control I had, as I melted into her hug.

"Oh, my Santanita." She sniffed, brushing my hair away from my eyes. "Let me look at you."

"Ma, don't make a huge scene." I flicked my gaze over to Annie, who was caught up in searching my father's pockets for something.

"Hush, _mija._" She scolded as she hugged me tighter, and I couldn't really deny her the moment of seeing her pregnant daughter in person for the first time. "You look beautiful. You're not driving Brittany crazy yet, are you?"

"Never, Mari." Brittany promised, placing her hand on the small of my back before I was passed into Susan's embrace and Mamí pulled my wife into her.

"Our girls. We are so happy to have you home." Susan brushed the tears off her face, snuck her hand down to gently pat my still relatively flat (or maybe, just looked like I had one too many burgers) stomach. As much as that normally would have driven me crazy, I secretly relished the idea that Brittany and I were once again on the verge of bringing so much happiness into our little world.

"Jeeze, am I the only one not freaking crying around here?" Lizzie rolled her eyes and Brittany flicked her on the side of the face.

"Aw Liz, are you mad no one is hugging you?" I laughed and grabbed her arm to drag her in with me and Susan. "We missed you too, squirt."

"Tana." Lizzie feigned exasperation, using the name that _only _she was allowed to call me, and only since she had been using it since I'd first met her when she was five. "You are aware that I've been bigger than you for at least ten years, and that I'm an actual adult, in law school and everything, right?"

"Yeah, yeah, sissy." Brittany grinned, and before I knew it, she and Mamí had joined in on our hug, my wife discreetly (and adorably) making sure that no one was hugging my belly too tightly. "But you'll always be our little squirt."

* * *

We'd ended up calling it a very early night, with Brittany exhausted from the long drive, Lizzie exhausted from her flight, me exhausted simply from the sheer act of existing, and my mother, probably the most exhausted from the completely unnecessary number of times she insisted on getting up to get me something I didn't actually need. Annie had been completely overstimulated from the absurd amount of gifts our parents bought her, the fact that we'd had chocolate cake to celebrate Lizzie's belated birthday, and simply from running around, so we brought her into bed with us, knowing she'd fall asleep faster when she wasn't nervous on the cot, alone in an unusual place. She and Britt were still sound asleep when I woke up insanely early in my usual way, running to the bathroom to be sick. After sitting on the edge of the tub for a few minutes to compose myself, and brushing my teeth, I kissed both of my girls as they slept, and slipped down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Well you're up early." Lizzie looked up from where her head was buried in a textbook. "Turkey is already in the oven."

"I figured, I'm not up _that _early that I beat your mom. Homework on Thanksgiving?" I raised my eyebrow to the stack of textbooks that sat in front of her on the table.

"Homework every minute of my life." She sighed, flipping a page.

"Do you regret it, going to law school?" I asked. Honestly, I was so proud of my sister-in-law, especially given the reasons that she'd even decided that she wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. Every time we talked to her though, even two months in to her first semester at Boston College, she sounded totally and completely shot.

"Not for a second." She said solemnly. "I _do_, however, miss spending my days on the beach reading Mary Shelley and talking about literary symbolism, and I hate the fact that I'm only three and a half hours from my beautiful niece, and yet this is the first time I've seen her since July. Coffee is in the pot, by the way, decaf, on Brittany's orders."

"Brittany's orders?" I laughed. "Wow, you must hate me right now, I'd have killed anyone who took away my caffeine. Feel free to make regular coffee tomorrow, and I'll make mine when you're done."

"I'm not even going to pretend to argue with you on that, but if my sister asks, I did and you insisted, okay? I was at the Lima Bean at 4:15 getting my fix today, that's an ungodly hour to leave the house. And your wife is a dork, you know that, right?" She pointed over to the refrigerator, which was covered with about a thousand pictures of Annie (and a few of me, Britt and Lizzie, sprinkled in for good measure), and a printed e-mail hanging from a magnet.

* * *

_Mom,_

_I'll probably call you a dozen more times between now and Thanksgiving to add to this list, but here's a start. Trust me when I tell you that things will not be pretty if you cook anything on here. Actually, maybe you should remove them from the refrigerator too, just to be safe. And wait until you see her, she's just so cute, and it's seriously the most awesome feeling in the world, knowing that our baby (who's the size of an olive, but we have to say grape, see below) is just growing away, right inside of her._

_PUMPKIN! Tell Daddy too bad, we'll have apple pie this year_

_Tomato sauce_

_Actually, anything with tomatoes_

_Bananas_

_Olives- I'm not kidding, don't even say the word, this one is extra bad!_

_Swiss cheese-San was really the only person who even liked that anyway, our baby is super smart to know better._

_Pork, except for maybe bacon, sometimes, but it's better not to risk it._

_Eggs_

_Thanks Mommy! We can't wait to see you!_

_Love you!_

_-B_

_P.S.-Maybe replace your fancy bathroom soaps with just plain Dial too, she's really sensitive about smells._

_P.P.S.- It would be _**_really _**_nice if you made decaf coffee in the mornings. I know she misses caffeine pretty bad, even if she won't admit it. Tell Liz I called the Lima Bean, they open at 4am, she can go there for her fix._

* * *

"God, I love her." I laughed, grinning like an idiot at the list as I poured myself a cup of coffee. "Even if she's totally over the top with her concerns."

"I love to make fun of my sister, you know that, but she's kind of the cutest thing ever right now with how excited she is, and how worried about you she's gotten. I mean, you've still got three weeks left of your first trimester, I'm not sure I want to know what she'll be like when you look like a beached whale."

"Oh shut up, at least Britt will still think I'm hot."

"Well that's a given." She rolled her eyes. "You two are ridiculous with each other, I swear, seeing you guys has ruined me for love."

"Yeah, what happened to _Christian?" _I smirked, referring to her insufferable ex-boyfriend, the guy who'd once worn freaking cufflinks and a tie clip to Breadsticks, and who Liz had finally, after two years, had the sense to break up with back in July. _"_I thought you two were on the same page about law school?"

"Apparently not. _He _wanted to go to law school, and he thought trying to give me an engagement ring would change my mind about doing the same thing. I'm twenty-two years old, Santana, I want to be more than just someone's wife. I felt like taking that ring meant that I'd be spending the rest of my life pinning his socks together and existing only as the pretty girl on his arm."

"You don't know how glad I am that you said no to him. Seriously, Liz, I know you're so much bigger than that, and so much better than him. I _love _being Brittany's wife, but even when I wasn't really working, I always still had an identity of my own. A wedding ring isn't supposed to chain you to someone, it's just supposed to tie you to them. Your sister is my partner, our relationship is a give and take, and that's all we want for you to find. Christian Drexel would _not_ have been your partner, and he wouldn't have respected you in the way you deserve to be respected."

"I know, trust me, I know. I loved him, and it sucks, but I'm glad I'm not marrying him."

"And I'm glad I can finally say out loud that he's a douche."

"Finally? You said it for the entire two years we were together. Seriously, may God help Annie when she starts dating, since you're going to be _so _much worse with her than you are with me."

"I love you Liz." I squeezed her arm. "But you have terrible taste in men, and he was the most unbearable of anyone you've ever dated. I swear, if I heard him call you Eliza one more time, I was going to slap him. Sometimes I forget that's your actual name, not even your mother calls you that."

"It wasn't _that _bad." Liz tried to protest, but her laugher gave away just how bad she knew it was.

"_Oh, Eliza, darling, be a dear and go fetch me another brandy._" I feigned an upper-crust Connecticut accent, laughing through the entire thing. "I mean seriously, who even talks like that? He was like a caricature, and he just made it entirely too easy for me."

"He didn't actually talk like that and you know it. His mother, maybe, but not him."

"Ooh!" Brittany appeared in the kitchen, baby monitor in hand, and I stood up to kiss her good morning. "Are we making fun of Christian? I want to play too."

"Ugh, you guys suck." Lizzie groaned, dropping her head in her book. "Like, so bad."

"Aw, Eliza, darling." Brittany giggled, earning a glare from her sister. "You know we just want the best for you, and we _know _you're going to find someone who is so much better for you than Stuffy McUptight. And you know that I always give everyone a chance, but he blew it the first time he snapped his fingers to get mom's attention."

"Trust me, I know. I was mortified. But he wasn't all bad, you guys."

"They never are, and eventually he'll meet someone named Muffy, or Bitsy, or something equally ridiculous, and he'll live happily ever after in Darien. But you, Eliza Ann Pierce-" I squeezed her arm, letting her know that even though I was making fun of her former almost-fiancé, I really, truly meant it out of love for her. "Are going to meet someone who doesn't suck, and who realizes how awesome you are."

"Hey, we can go out with you, when you're in New York at Christmas!" Brittany said excitedly. "I mean, we're kind of smokin' hot, and I think we'd make awesome wing women."

"What, to a bar? C'mon guys._You old_." Liz pointed to Britt, a sparkle in her eye. "_And you pregnant. Can't have a bunch of old pregnant bitches running around_."

"Okay, seriously, you both need to stop watching _Knocked Up_. It's getting really bad when _I _can quote almost the entire movie." I clicked my tongue, and the two of them were in hysterics, continuing to go back and forth with the rest of the scene.

"This, from you, _darling_." Britt smirked at her sister again when she said it, then kissed my lips quickly. "Who has, on more than one occasion, quoted _Friends _while lying with your legs spread open at the OBGYN."

"Anyway, in all seriousness, let us find someone to set you up with! It'll be fun, and then someday, this awesome guy we find you will be the one sending your mom the world's sweetest e-mails about your terrible food aversions." I kissed Britt's wrist and she blushed, seeing the piece of paper on the refrigerator.

"Man, there is no privacy around here." My wife complained, the irony of her statement, given the fact that we were totally in the midst of meddling in Lizzie's life not lost on any of us, and she gave me a shy half smile.

"C'mere, baby." I pulled her down to share my chair with me, and then buried my face in her neck, letting her wrap both arms around me. "I love you extra when you're super cute like that."

"Well, in that case..." She trailed off laughing, and Liz continued to shake her head in our direction while returning to her reading.

"Morning girls!" Susan announced, coming into the room with a bakery box. "This is a shock, definitely the first time I've seen you all awake at the same time before nine o'clock. I like having grown daughters."

"Mama! Mamí." Annie shrieked out over the baby monitor a half a second later, sounding a little more panicked than I would have liked, and Britt and I were both on our feet and on our way up the stairs without missing a beat. I knew that weird, confused feeling of waking up somewhere different, and I knew that Annie wouldn't even move from the bed until we were there. "Where are you? I'm all by myself! Come back!"

* * *

The majority of the early morning was spent in the living room, Britt and I laying together on the chaise, Lizzie moving onto the couch with one of her books, and Stephen and Annie playing hide and seek all around the first floor. We'd managed to get Liz in on _operation cover for Santana when she's in the bathroom, _since I knew it would be a much bigger production than it needed to be, one I didn't feel like having dominate the holiday, if our parents were privy to every time I got sick, and I laughed at both her and Brittany who took it so, so seriously. When Mamí and Papí came in just after eleven, my mother to help with the cooking, and my father to watch football with Stephen, I was feeling well enough for girl time in the kitchen, and I led Brittany in there before anyone else was ready to join us.

"I wanted to show you how thankful for you I am this morning." I hummed against her lips as I backed her into the refrigerator and wrapped my arms around her waist. "But obviously we haven't had time alone."

"Hmm." She bit my bottom lip, then for several minutes, silently trailed kisses down my neck, hitting that spot that never failed to instantly turn me on, the spot that had become even more sensitive in the previous weeks. "It's a good thing I already know, then. And maybe we'll have to find a way later, since I need to show you I'm thankful for you too."

"Yeah." I breathed out, touching my hand to her cheek to guide her lips back to mine, knowing that if Britt kept her lips on my pulse point much longer, my hormones would entirely take over, and we'd be having our most embarrassing holiday moment to date. My other hand slipped under her shirt, rubbing circles on her bare back, my own skin just calling out to touch hers, even in a completely non-sexual way. "That sounds really, really good."

"_Dios mio, _girls." My mother clapped her hands as she walked in the kitchen, startling me like a kid with her hand in the cookie jar (and in my addled brain, that thought was hilarious, because it replaced cookie jar with something entirely different). "_Mija_, you're already pregnant, you don't need to keep trying, as you like to call it, Brittany, especially not right where everyone can see you."

"We weren't...we were just..." I began stammering, before I realized that Mamí was quite obviously kidding. "Aye, Mamí, that's not funny, I can't make coherent thoughts."

"I remember the feeling well." She smiled, resting her hand on my shoulder, and I groaned, not wanting to hear it. "Not like that, _niña_, _deja de tener la mente tan sucia._ I mean how you just want to be close to Brittany all the time. When I was pregnant with you, I spent half of my day sometimes just driving back and forth to the hospital to see your father for five minutes, and I seem to remember someone else in this room who insisted on wearing your t-shirts all the time when _she _was pregnant, even when you were sleeping in the same bed."

"It's evolutionary advantage." Brittany shrugged, nuzzling my nose, and I raised an eyebrow. "It is, I'm telling you, your hormones make you want to be closer to the other parent of your child, so, like, back when there were wooly mammoths and saber-tooth tigers running around, you'd have someone else to help keep you and your baby from being eaten."

"You're so smart." I pecked her lips and finally removed my hand from under her shirt so I could put my arms around her neck as she gave me a close hug.

"And hot, don't forget hot." She giggled.

"Like Michelle Obama!" We exclaimed, at exactly the same time.

"_Chicas locas." _Mamí shook her head with a soft smile. "I'm pretty sure no one else will ever understand whatever language it is that you two speak to each other in."

After Mamï turned the stove on, Brittany and I finally moved out of the way of the refrigerator and sat down at the table with a sack of potatoes. After peeling each one, I'd hand it to Britt, and she'd cut it in quarters and drop it in the large pot that sat between us. It wasn't often that we got the opportunity to cook together, but when we did, we moved so seamlessly, and several times, we caught each other's eyes over the pot, silently reveling in the bliss of the holidays. I was surprised that Susan and Liz hadn't made their appearance in the kitchen yet, but when they finally did, our small daughter between them, wearing a frilly apron adorned with her handprint transformed into a turkey over her pajamas, and a too-big chef's hat on her head, it was totally worth the wait.

"All the way from New York City." Susan announced, holding Annie's little hand tightly in hers. "Our special guest chef, Miss Annalise Lopez-Pierce."

"D'you like my apron?" Annie twirled around, and I caught the click of her tap shoes against the floor, making the entire scene just _that _much cuter. I wasn't sure who moved faster to capture our most precious thing in a hug, but almost immediately, both mine and Brittany's arms were around our daughter.

"We love it." Brittany beamed, kissing the top of Annie's head. "Did you make this all by yourself?"

"No, Mama! Grammy sewed it up before we came here, and Auntia Lizzie helped me make my hand-turkey. And guess what?" She bounced up and down in our arms.

"What?" I asked, my face mirroring her excitement.

"Look what Grammy has for you!" She pointed to Susan, who we hadn't noticed, since we'd been so caught up in how incredibly adorable Annie looked, was holding two aprons identical to our daughter's in mine and Brittany's sizes. "Now we can match while I help!"

"Oh, sweetheart." Brittany excitedly took the aprons from her mom, both of us slipping them on, me tying the back of hers before turning around so she could tie the back of mine. "This is pretty special, thank you Annalise, and Grammy."

"_Next year." _Susan mouthed to us, gesturing to our chests where Annie's handprint was slightly off-center. "_We'll have add another little turkey."_

_"Ven aqui, mi nieta bonita." _Mamí waved Annie over to her, and scooped her up, kissing her all over her face. "Let's teach our littlest chef how to make her Mama's favorite."

* * *

After two hours of cooking, and a quick twenty minute power nap for me while Brittany bathed Annie, washing out all of the flour she'd gotten in her hair while baking apple pie with Susan, Britt and I showered separately (for the time being), and we all dressed for dinner. There was something about putting on a dress and heels that always managed to make me feel sexy, even if my tired eyes and the nausea in the pit of my stomach threatened to challenge that. Dressed and ready for the focal point of the day (although I could have skipped the meal entirely and just had a hundred more moments of simplicity), my wife hoisted our daughter up into her arms, and the three of us made our grand entrance into the dining room. At the same time, Stephen was carrying the carved turkey from the other doorway, and he took his seat at the head of the table beside Susan.

"Can I sit next to you, _'Buelito?" _Annie wriggled her way out of Brittany's arms and hopped up and down next to my father's chair opposite Stephen.

"I wouldn't have it any other way, Lisita_." _He stood and helped her into the chair, tucking the skirt of her bright blue dress underneath her and kissing her forehead. "You look exceptionally beautiful today, if I may say so."

"Course you may, thank you." Annie's face was bright as the sun, and she threw her arms around her grandfather's neck, touching the tie that he'd intentionally chosen to match her dress. "And you look very handsome too. Everybody looks their most beautiful right now."

"How?" I whispered in Brittany's ear as she sat beside Annie and I took my seat on my wife's other side. "How is she just _everything, _all the time?"

"I have no idea." She marveled taking my hand in hers, and looking down proudly at the little girl who'd begun swinging her legs beneath her. "But I don't even need a special day to be thankful for that."

"Happy Thanksgiving!" Stephen's laughing voice boomed once Susan appeared with the basket of rolls from the kitchen and took her own seat, breaking me from my thoughts. "I know I'm usually the one to say grace, or a toast, or whatever this combined blessing we say is, each year, but this year, my radiant daughter-in-law asked me if I'd mind if she took over that responsibility. Santana, take it away."

"Take what away?" Brittany teased, covering her emotions, since I hadn't told her I'd asked her dad if I could speak, and I leaned over to kiss her before picking up my seltzer filled wineglass and standing up.

"Okay. Wow." I looked around the table from my parents, who's hands were clasped together on the corner, to my in-laws, who were nodding happily for me to continue, to Liz, who looked mildly amused at the ridiculous tears she could see forming in my eyes, to Annie, who'd begun clapping for me the moment I stood up, and to Brittany, with tears mirroring mine, and who only held my hand tighter. "Guess I'm getting better at this whole talking out loud thing, huh? Since I'm voluntarily standing up here to offer a blessing over this meal that I was lucky enough to spend making with all of the most important women in my life. I'm weepy and nostalgic, I know, but it's a holiday, and for that reason, among others, you're not even allowed to make fun of me. I know that every year, we write the things we're most thankful for and Susan bakes them into rolls for us to share with each other, but every single year, I've found it increasingly harder to do that. As we were driving here, Britt and I started talking about all the things that brought us so much gratitude, and I realized that I really didn't think I could pick just one of the hundreds of things to write down."

"Wait, mom let you off without writing your message?" Lizzie looked at me in disbelief.

"Oh c'mon, Liz, I've been a Pierce long enough to know _that _was never going to happen. We can't just start breaking traditions, then before you know it we'll be eating Chinese for dinner or something."

"Santana, honey." Susan cut in. "You girls eat enough takeout in New York, even if you think your mother and I don't know about it, so that will never happen."

"Go ahead, continue, _mija." _My father urged.

"So basically, I wanted to just say more than one line, while I'm sitting here with the whole Lopez-Pierce combined clan, who I don't get to spend nearly enough time with. I'm so eternally grateful that you are the people I'm bound to for life, with or without shared blood. I didn't realize, until Britt said it to me, that I hold my family on this incredible pedestal, but it's true, this year, maybe even more than ever before. So I just wanted to say how grateful I am to have each of you our life. To our parents, for being there for us in every way possible, for being absolutely amazing grandparents, for coming together for every holiday, so Annie grows up with these beautiful traditions. To Liz, for never failing to find time, even if it's just a minute, to make our girl smile over Skype, and for pursuing a dream that is so close to all of our hearts. Above all else, this year, I'm so thankful that our precious girl is learning how to find her brave, and that no matter what, she's still the greatest thing I could have ever hoped for. And Brittany, my Britt, I don't think there are enough words to describe the depth of my gratitude to you for just being _you, _and you know, without me having to say it, exactly what I mean. I love all of you so fully, and sitting here at the table without reminds me of all that life truly means. So here's to us, and to anyone who will be joining us at this table in years to come." I sent a wink over to Liz, and chanced a discreet glance down to where Brittany had rested our hands. "And now, I'm realizing that I literally have no clue how you go about blessing the food for Thanksgiving, I guess I don't know much about blessings, except that I've been given a lot of them."

"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub?" Liz offered, earning an elbow in her side from Susan.

"God is good, God is great, now stick a fork in your plate?" Brittany tried, through her tears that were openly falling.

"Or maybe more along the lines of _estoy muy agradecido por todo lo que tengo." _My father said, looking down at Annie. "Do you know that that means _bebé?_

"I am very thankful for everything I have." Annie piped up, standing to raise up her glass of milk. "That's very true, _'Buelo._"

"That it is, Annie." My mother nodded from across the table.

"To the Lopezes, the Pierces, and the Lopez-Pierces!" Brittany announced, holding up her own glass. "And to a hundred more years of happy holidays."

"_To us!" _The rest of us answered, and I sank back into my chair, heart full with all of the love in the room.

"That was so beautiful, honey." Brittany whispered, kissing the shell of my ear. "Thank you, for standing up to say all of that."

"Well, I'm an emotional roller-coaster already, figured I may as well put the good ones to proper use." I smiled, and turned to place a kiss on her temple.

* * *

Dinner was, as always, awesome, and long after, we'd all changed into more comfortable clothes, and Susan had turned on the first airing of _Miracle on 34th Street_. Annie had fallen asleep in Stephen's arms in his chair while he talked to Papí, Liz was on the floor groaning about how full she was, our mothers were making their plans of our shopping excursion in the morning (which I was seriously debating bowing out on, and I knew no one would blame me), and once again, I lay between Brittany's legs on the chaise, our spot that no one else even tried to take whenever we were in town. Feeling relatively proud of myself that I seemed to be fully capable of keeping my dinner down, I titled my head back so I could look into Britt's eyes. She smiled, kissing me softly amidst the din of all the other chatter in the room, and I sank further into her embrace.

"Best Thanksgiving ever." She murmured, her eyes as tired as I knew mine were.

"You say that every year." I laughed softly and stole another kiss.

"Well every year, it's true. Except for maybe the year-"

"No, don't say it. Seriously, B." I covered her mouth quickly with my hand, not even wanting to _think _about two years earlier when Britt, Annie and I all had the stomach virus and the entirety of our Thanksgiving was spent laying on the bathroom floor.

"Sorry San." Britt giggled, realizing her mistake in mentioning it when the slightest thing could turn my stomach, and she soothingly rubbed circles over the spot. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." I swallowed, checking that it was true. "I love you, Britt."

"And I love you, Santana."

"Ma!" Annie cried out in her sleep, the way she often did, and we'd figured out years earlier that it was her way of quickly calling for both of us.

Before we could untangle ourselves to stand, Stephen was up, carrying our daughter to us and resting her gently on top of me. I smiled she fisted the sleeve of my shirt and curled back into a ball against my body, as Brittany shifted so she could hold us both just a little bit tighter. We'd become so caught up watching her sleep that we kind of forgot that we were sitting in the middle of the room with everyone else. Of course, it was the flash of my mother's camera that reminded us of that, and I lifted my eyes to glare at her, just as Annie stirred again from her rest.

"Did I miss it, Mamí?" Annie looked up at me, wide-eyed.

"Miss what, _mi amor?"_

"Mmm." She closed her eyes again, and I could feel Brittany smile behind me. "Christmas song."

"Mom, you've started her young with the obsession with traditions." Britt looked over at her mother and Susan just chuckled. "You didn't miss it baby girl, do you think you can stay awake for two more minutes and we'll sing our first carol?"

"Think so." My daughter yawned, her words muffled by sleep, and I kissed her between the eyes. "Please sing."

Liz looked over to us, and I nodded, encouraging her to begin. _Everybody knows, a turkey and some mistletoe help to make the season bright. Tiny tots, with their eyes all aglow, will find it hard to sleep tonight, _we all sang together, and I smiled at the words to the song. Annie was most definitely not going to find it hard to sleep, although I figured that would probably change the closer and closer we got to Christmas, and I knew for sure that I didn't need turkey and mistletoe to make the season what it was. I needed _this, _all of the people who surrounded me, the rhythm of Annie's heartbeat against my chest, of Brittany's against my back, the feeling of love that crept into even the tiniest crevices of my heart and soul. It was that, among all of the other small and most precious things, that I would never stop being wholly thankful for.


	14. Chapter 14-The Way She Loves Me

**Author's Note: A big thanks for your follows and favorites, and if course, to ruby-may89, AlabamaMiles, Chuckleshan, Shammy526, lg4az, mocblue, ishlheard2day and the two Guests for your reviews!**

* * *

Immediately following Thanksgiving, most people begin counting the days until Christmas. I guess, subconsciously, I'd always done it too, since I _do _love the holiday season, but for the past five years, the most important December date I had counted down to was the night of Brittany's showcase. Of course, we'd still gone into full swing holiday mode, starting our shopping back in Lima, secretly packing up the trunk of our car with the Santa gifts we'd hide in the attic. We had our holiday photos taken (which were seriously the cutest things ever, even if we're total dorks), all three of us dressed in our fanciest outerwear, the photographer we'd found right after Annie was born snapping shot after shot of the three of us posing in fake snow; Annie ducking behind my legs while Britt threw snowballs, the two of them dumping a wooden bucket of snow over my head, Annie sitting by herself on a sled catching snowflakes on her tongue, Britt and I lifting our daughter up to put a top hat on a snowman, all of us lying on our backs making angels, the Lopez-Pierce Christmas cards were kind of legendary. But still, it was hard, especially with Annie, for both Britt and I during the three weeks she had to work borderline inhuman hours, racing into the house every night just moments before our daughter's bedtime, but it was a necessary evil, I knew that. Her schedule was flexible for ninety-five percent of the year in exchange for _maybe _a combined total of six weeks of hell, we really had no right to bitch about it it, but this year, more than ever before (even if it was mostly in my head), I did.

The biggest problem was that I _wasn't _just counting down to that one night, I was also counting down to the end of my first trimester (although I couldn't believe it was already on the horizon), and to the days when I could start worrying less about miscarrying, and hopefully finally see the end of the persistent nausea and vomiting. Seven days before Christmas, that's when my second trimester was supposed to begin, and every time I crouched on the bathroom floor with my head over the toilet bowl, I could only hope that it would be easier than the first. The thing was, I didn't want to complain, didn't want someone out there in the universe thinking I was anything less than eternally grateful for the tiny life (now complete with fingernails and hair) who had already claimed a part of my heart. So, on the days I felt the worst, I suffered in silence. I would put on a happy face for Annie, who was already having a hard time because she hated Brittany's busy weeks as much as I did, and I tried my best to keep myself together in front of my wife, who already felt unnecessarily guilty because she could _tell _I felt awful and hated that she couldn't stay home and force me to rest. When I was alone though, that's when I found myself fraying at the edges.

The first Wednesday of December, a week an a half after Thanksgiving (nine days before Britt's big night and eleven days before the big twelve week mark), was the first time in years where I'd felt like I was at a complete loss for how to take care of myself. I knew that my morning sickness was bad, had even expected it to be before I'd gotten pregnant, because my _mother's _had been the same way when she was pregnant with me, but for some reason, on that one day, it had become completely unbearable. Britt had left for work just after seven, and I'm not sure how I even managed to make it through getting Annie ready for school. Hardly managing to keep down the three sips of orange juice I'd drank and the half a piece of toast I'd forced down my throat, I dropped Annie off, and raced back home, dry heaving for a good fifteen minutes, trying to no avail to bring everything back up on the off chance it would make me feel better, and finally collapsing on the bed in a heap of uncontrollable sobs.

Call me crazy, but in my head, I was sure that gnawing, aching, twisting feeling in my stomach was akin to Chinese water torture, especially when I _knew _that I had to put something in my body for both my sake and the sake of the baby. So I lay there on my side with my knees to my chest, all wrapped up in the threadbare Cheerios sweatshirt that had once belonged to Brittany (the same one that served as a substitute for her arms during the years we were apart), no pants on, because it required too much effort to pull them down to pee, clutching the bottle of water I was forcing myself to swallow in one hand, and the phone I was trying not to dial in the other, hoping, praying, _begging _that the awful feeling would go away before I had to get myself out of bed and pick Annie back up. Had I been looking at myself from outside my body, I would have seen _exactly _what I'd hoped I'd never become, one of those women who'd been completely crippled by pregnancy. I guess that's what I got for making fun, karma is a bitch, right?

_You are pregnant. You are nauseous. _I internally chastised myself, mentally slamming my palm against my forehead. _You're not missing limbs or dying, there's no reason for you to be laying here like a helpless mess. Pull yourself together and stop thinking about calling Brittany, because the minute you get on the phone she'll be out the door to get to you. You can do this, Santana._

Maybe that was the biggest problem with being such a control freak, there were times where I truly beat myself up over things that I had absolutely no control over. In my head, I was furious with _myself, _not with my body chemistry, that I couldn't be one of those women who made pregnancy look so easy, and maybe a little pissed at the baby, as if someone that wasn't even the size of a lime could really bare any blame. After another hour of alternating between crying and sipping water, I knew that I really had no choice. Each morning, as she left for work, Britt would kiss my stomach, my forehead and finally my lips before looking into my eyes and making me promise that I'd call her if I needed anything. I'd been really, really good about not calling her if it wasn't a desperate situation, but this time it _was_. I knew I couldn't even pick my head up from the pillow, let alone walk over to Annie's school, attempt to be remotely sociable with the other parents and then have any semblance of normalcy for my four year old.

_"Hi San." _Brittany answered her phone breathlessly on the second ring, and I heard her call for whoever was in the studio with her to take five. She was doing run throughs on every number, every single day. As sweet and caring as my wife was, I knew she demanded nothing short of perfection on stage, and she would make those dancers practice a thousand times if she didn't see that. Even with how sick I was, I felt so much pride any time I even thought about how outrageously talented and dedicated she was.

"Britt." I tried not to moan, my hand shaky as I held the phone to my ear and didn't move from the fetal position I'd curled into. Tears sprung to my eyes as another crushing wave of nausea took over my body. "I know you're busy, and I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you at work or anything, and I'm really trying to be okay-"

_"Hey, honey." _Her voice was low and soothing, knowing that I was crying, and it only made me cry harder. _"You're rambling a lot, and I can tell that you're not okay. Don't apologize to me, what's going on? What can I do to help you?"_

"Can you pick up Annie at school? I'm just a fucking mess right now. You can drop her off and go back to work, and she can come lay in bed with me and watch movies or something, I don't even know."

_"Shhh, it's okay. Let me just tell Rick that I'm leaving here now and taking the rest of the day. Can I bring you anything?"_

"Nothing. Nothing is helping me right now, I've never in my life felt sick like this B. It's like the world's worst stomach bug times a million. You don't have to stay with me all day, it'll pass eventually, right?

_"It's not up for discussion, I'm not leaving you there alone like that." _I could hear the catch in her voice, and I knew exactly what it felt like when there was literally nothing you could do to make the woman you loved feel any better. _"Do you want me to stay on the phone with you?"_

"No." Well, _yes, _but I really wasn't going to take it to that level of dramatics yet. "It's okay. I'm just going to keep laying down. Thank you."

_"I love you, and I'll be there as fast as I can."_

"Love you too." I whispered, those three words saying so much more than I was capable of getting out.

Once I hung up the phone, I curled even tighter into myself, clutching my stomach with the hand that had been holding the phone, promising the baby that their Mama would be home soon. I felt ridiculous and irrationally angry about the entire situation, always having hated more than anything when I was incapable of taking care of myself, hating that I couldn't just be stronger for five freaking seconds so I didn't have to call my wife crying because I had a stomach ache. Seriously, most women in the world had babies, and most women didn't need to act psychotic and call their partners to come home from work. It was a terrible form of self-loathing that took over me, and in the midst of trying so hard to convince myself that it was my hormones making me so much more emotional, and not some form of inner weakness, I finally managed to fall asleep, tears still streaming down my face.

* * *

I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep when I woke up again, but I knew it couldn't have been for more than a few moments, because the house was still silent. Again, the nausea overtook me, and I knew what was finally coming. I tried to get up out of the bed, but I wasn't fast enough. By the time I got myself into a sitting position, I couldn't control it any longer. Through a choked out sob, I managed to throw up the small amount of food and water I had gotten into my body all over the sheets.

"Goddamnit!" I cried out to the empty room. "Fuck!"

Slowly, I slunk out of the bed, furiously ripping the sheets off with me in an effort to do something useful. I wasn't going to just lay back down in my own vomit and wait for my wife to take care of me like some helpless mess. _Sheets in the wash, new sheets on the bed. Two simple tasks, _I tried to tell myself. I'd made it as far as the bedroom door before another wave crashed over me and I sank down onto the floor, my arms still tangled in the sheets.

_"Lo siento bebé." _I sobbed, knowing that I was in no state to stand back up and complete the task I'd started. _"Te amo, lo prometo, _but please stop making me feel so sick. And now I'm acting like a crazy bitch and you don't deserve that,_ lo siento! _I know. I shouldn't be blaming this on you._ Lo siento. Lo siento. _I'm so, so sorry."

"Santana." Brittany's voice and her hands running up and down my back broke me from my own head somewhere in the middle of my Spanglish apologetic rant to the baby. "It's okay. I've got you."

"It's not okay," I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as Britt pried the soiled sheets from my hands, tossing them off to the side. "I'm mad at myself, and I'm mad at the baby, and now I'm yelling at them, at _our baby_, and I can't even make myself stop."

"It's not your fault." Brittany gathered me up into her arms, cradling my head against her chest, softly kissing my hair, and I felt small, so small, smaller than I'd felt in a really long time as she held me. "You're really sick, honey."

"This is the worst I've ever felt in my life." Even before the words left my mouth, I knew that actually wasn't true, but when you're in the moment, nothing in the past feels like it could have ever possibly felt worse. "It's like those ten seconds after you're on the tire swing and the whole world won't stop spinning, but it's not ten seconds, it's hours and hours. I feel like I don't even know who I am right now. I don't want to feel like this. I don't want to feel so sick that I can't even pick up my daughter at- oh God, where's Annie? Did she see me like this?"

"Rachel met me at school, Annie is spending the afternoon with her and Brice, and I'm going to spend the afternoon figuring out what the hell we can do to make you feel better. But can you do something for me?"

"Ugh, I want to say yes, Brittany, but I swear to God, I think if I stand up I'll die."

"No standing necessary." She kept her voice so calm, despite my melodramatic behavior, and I'm really not sure how she was able to manage that. "I just want you to stop beating yourself up for being sick, because you can't control it, and it's making everything else feel a hundred times worse. I want you to let me help you get in the bathtub, because it might help you relax, and then I want you to close your eyes and just let me take care of you, because you're not doing this alone.

"I'll try." I promised, finally feeling able to meet her eyes and trying to find some kind, _any_ kind of humor in the situation. "I have gross, pukey hair, don't I?

"Just a little bit." She smiled at me so lovingly that I thought my heart would explode right then and there, and somehow, being reminded that Brittany would always love me, even when I was a hysterical, crazy mess with vomit in my hair made me feel just the slightest bit better. "But we'll take care of that right now."

After I nodded my consent, Brittany somehow managed to stand up while still holding me in her arms. As she settled me down in the empty tub, something in me snapped, something that I _needed _to snap. This wasn't like all the times in my past that I'd been dropped down in a tub to save me from myself, this was just my wife, helping me to feel better when I was physically ill, the same way I'd do for her, the same way we'd do for our daughter. I _needed _to stop giving myself so much shit for something I physically had no control over, I needed to remember why I was feeling the way I was, needed to remember that soon enough the awful feeling would fade, and that in half a year, something so miraculous would be placed in my arms that would make me forget every single time I felt sick, or achy, or exhausted, or unnecessarily emotional. I closed my eyes as Britt sat down on the edge of the tub and used the detachable shower head to rinse the mess out of my hair, running shampoo through it with her long fingers as she softly sang the strains of a familiar song; _I love you, I love you, I love you like never before._

Once the shampoo was rinsed out, and Brittany clipped my hair up off my neck, she stopped up the tub and let the water run as hot as I could handle, filling up around me. The nausea was still there, aching and persistent, but the momentary panic that had flooded through my system seemed to have abated. Brittany, my beautiful, loving _everything_ had once again managed to relieve me of that separate sickening feeling, and once again, I swore that even if I lived a thousand lifetimes, I'd never fully understand how it was possible to have someone who understood me so well, who meant so much. I knew there were just as many times where she'd been on the receiving end of _my_ affection and caregiving, even if in my head, I felt like I was always the weak one. But still, with her thumb rubbing against my palm as she used the other hand to pour bubble bath (unscented, because she'd tracked that down for me) into the scalding water, I had to remind myself how worthy I was of her love. When the tub was nearly full, she urged me to lean back, to let my body and my mind rest, and considering the thoughts I'd had just a few moments earlier, I did.

"Are you feeling alright?" She asked softly, and I actually felt capable of giving her a small smile.

"Still nauseous, but a little better, for the time being." I answered her honestly.

"I want to call Dr. Singh, Santana. I want to see what we can do for you, because you shouldn't have to feel _this _sick. I don't think it's good for you, or for the baby."

"I know, Britt. You can call her. At this point, I'll do whatever she thinks I should do to stop this. I won't even make her repeat herself a hundred times to reassure me."

"Okay." She furrowed her brows and pursed her lips, knowing if I wasn't even trying to pretend I was okay, that it really was _that _bad. "Are you okay in here if I go throw everything in the wash, put some new sheets on the bed and call her?"

"I am. And Brittany?"

"Mmhm."

"Thank you. For this, for just everything. I'm going to close my eyes now, and just pull myself back together. I'm sorry for being all five years ago Santana."

"You're not." She looked at me with those loving eyes again and leaned in to softly kiss the side of my mouth. "I know sometimes you're scared of falling back into that hole, but you're different now, you know how to ask for help when you need it. And no apologies or thanks are necessary, baby. I know it's your body that our baby is currently wreaking havoc on, but I'm with you, as much as I possibly can through the entire thing."

"I know, I should have called you sooner, I just-"

"It's okay. Just rest now, and we'll talk about it later." She kissed the heel of my hand, and I gave her the best smile I could manage. "Yell for me if you need anything, I'll be back up soon."

"Wait. Before you go, do you think you could just-" I paused, lowering my eyes because it was the last thing I wanted to ask for, I'd been trying so hard not to take anything, with the exception of in the car, but I was a hundred percent sure that it was the only thing that would make me feel better. "Could you get me one of those nausea pills from the cabinet?"

"San, you haven't taken one today?" She asked, more alarmed by the fact that I _hadn't _than that I was asking for one now. I shook my head, and she sighed a little bit before filling one of those tiny bathroom cups from the tap and handing it to me with a pill. "You know they're completely safe, right?"

"I know. I just...I know." I couldn't articulate what I wanted to say the way I was trying to, so I just swallowed the one thing that would help me, and let Brittany leave the bathroom without saying another word.

My whole body felt like it was letting out a sigh as I sank down further into the bath water, so low that the bottom of my chin grazed the surface. I desperately needed to turn my mind off, to stop thinking that every single breath I took would have horrific repercussions for the tiny life inside of me. My stomach had always been so affected by my emotions, and being constantly worked up couldn't be making the situation any better. Letting my hands press against the thickening, soft area below my belly button, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, waiting for the medication to take effect. Occasionally, I'd turn on the tap with my foot, adding more hot water to the bath, and finally, while rubbing my stomach both to soothe it, and to remind myself again that everything was worth it for the end result, I started to talk to the baby, far nicer than I'd been a half hour earlier.

"I know we're going to be just fine, baby. A few more weeks and I'll be feeling like I'm on top of the world again, I'll get to hear your tiny heartbeat, I'll get to feel you move, and don't tell anyone, but I'll even be ridiculously excited about wearing maternity clothes and showing you off before you're even born." I whispered, feeling myself perk up, even through the icky feeling, at the thought of the world knowing that there would be another little Lopez-Pierce, at the baby physically responding to Brittany's voice the way Annie had responded to mine, at Annie pressing her little hands against my stomach to feel her baby brother or sister play with her. "I love you, little one, and I really am sorry for you having to hear me like that, because even though your ears aren't ready yet, I'm still pretty sure you know what's going on. But I promise you, I was angry and scary like that for a long time, but I'm really, really not anymore"

"Isn't that the truth?" Brittany smiled from where she was watching me in the doorway, with a teacup in her hand. "How's your bath?"

"So good. You're going to spoil me, babe."

"If my running baths for you would spoil you, you'd have turned rotten _years _ago." She laughed, and then her face turned serious. "I just got off the phone with Dr. Singh."

"What did she say? Does she think I have _hyperemesis gravidarum? _Oh God, is she going to make me go to the hospital? Am I going to have to get a feeding tube? Fuck, I am, aren't I? And then my mother is going to move in here with us and try to force feed me my great-grandmother's cure-all-ills chicken liver soup, and if she makes me eat that, then I'll _never _stop throwing up-"

"Whoa Dr. Internet, breathe for a second and let me talk." Britt sat down on the edge of the tub again, handing me the cup of peppermint tea. She laced her fingers through those on my free hand and kissed my knuckles. "She's just going to call in a prescription for some different anti-nausea pills, they're better than the over the counter ones, and _no, _she doesn't think anything is wrong with you. I swear, I think we need to bring back the no internet research rule, because you're starting to scare me with your knowledge of medical terms."

"She doesn't think there's anything wrong with me?" My heart felt like it had skipped a beat, and I kind of knew that Brittany was right about me needing to stay off the internet. Between WebMD and about four hours of reading about the Thalidomide crisis, I was becoming even more paranoid than I'd been while Britt was pregnant with Annie.

"No, especially because your mom went through the same thing. And you know that _hyper-_whatever, I actually _did_ read about that too, but I'm not going to attempt to say it, only effects like point-two percent of women, right?"

"Yes." I felt a small smile play at the corner of my mouth as I thought of all the times Brittany had been able to give me a reality check without sounding patronizing. "But it would really suck to have that. I thought I was going to have to have all of my morning sickness, plus what you never had."

"I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that." She laughed, obviously glad that I was smiling, and sort of joking about it. "_But_, she also said that if you still can't keep anything down tonight, that she wants us to come in tomorrow morning."

"Okay." I was willing to accept that, since it was so much better than all the other scenarios that had run through my head.

"Rachel offered for Annie to stay over tonight, they're going to stop by in a little while to get her stuff. And before you start to worry, she's excited."

"I won't worry, or, I won't worry _that _much. They're the only people she'll stay with. But I do want to see her before she leaves."

"Of course." Britt smiled and I kissed the inside of her wrist, not even knowing how to express everything I was feeling. "Looks like it's Brittany and Santana night, it's been too long since we've had one of those."

"Yeah, except unfortunately I probably won't feel up to doing what we usually do on our alone nights."

"What?" She looked at me, mouth agape, and then winked. "No _Sweet Valley High? _And I was _just _going to go dig out the old DVDs that I know you never got rid of."

"Hey, those are important relics of our past, I saved them so our kids can see where we came from."

"Yeah, maybe our kids shouldn't know about us sneaking around at fifteen for sweet lady kisses. But if you saved them for us, then you know I'll never say no to popping in some _Sweet Valley High_ and getting our cuddle on."

"Did you just quote me?" I laughed for real, so glad that the medicine already seemed to be doing _something. _"I love you, dork."

"And I love you more, pukey."

After I'd finished my tea, and the tub had gotten so full that I could no longer add water to keep it warm, I got myself out (progress!), and all wrapped up in one of the thick terry cloth robes my parents had given us for Christmas years earlier, and that we rarely used, I got back into bed. Britt had found the insanely soft flannel sheets (yeah, yeah, insert lesbian flannel joke here) that I'd ordered online when I wasn't sure how cold our house would get in the winter (not very), and I snuggled into them, secretly thinking they were even better than the ridiculously expensive Egyptian cotton ones that I'd thrown up on. Settling me with some ginger ale, Britt ran out to the pharmacy, and probably to call her assistant choreographer to see how things were going over there. Finally comforted, I actually felt like I could put things in perspective, and while I would have thought I'd be embarrassed by my outburst, I wasn't. I just wanted to be able to properly explain what I'd been feeling to Britt. I'd made her a promise that I wouldn't shut her out when I was having a hard time, and it wasn't a promise I'd break.

* * *

I was surprised that I'd fallen asleep again, but I knew by the waning daylight outside the window that it had actually been for a decent amount of time. Through the cracked open bedroom door, I could hear Brittany talking to Annie in her bedroom, and I smiled at the thought of getting to hug my baby girl. Several more minutes passed before I heard her timid little knock, and I called out for her to come in, shuffling my body so I was sitting up against the headboard. When she pushed open the door, she ran up to the side of the bed with Milky Way under one arm, and the butterfly net that Liz had bought for her under the other.

"Mamí!" She cried out, bouncing up and down on her toes excitedly. "I missed you so, so much today."

"Oh, _mija." _I took her things from her and carefully helped her climb up onto the bed with me. "I missed you so much too. Did you have a nice day at school and with Aunt Rachel and Brice."

"Yup!" Annie snuggled up into my lap and I kissed the top of her head, breathing in everything about her. "And now we're gonna have a sleepover!"

"How lucky are you?" I squeezed her tighter to me, having already missed her in the hours she was gone, and knowing I'd miss her even more overnight. "Are you bringing you butterfly net with you?"

"Oh, no." She shrugged, looking up at me with those blue eyes. "That's for you."

"For me?"

"Course Mamí. For the bug."

"The _bug?_" I wasn't sure if I'd been so sick when I'd dropped her off at school that I'd missed an entire conversation, but I honestly had no recollection of anything about a bug.

"Yeah, silly. Mama said you got a bug hurting your belly, and now you can use my net to catch it and let it go out the window. But make sure you don't squash it, because that will be really sad." She looked at me expectantly, hoping for a promise that I wouldn't kill the bug, and I couldn't do anything but hold her against me and kiss her all over her little face.

"_Corazoncita, _I'll make sure to keep the bug very safe." I smiled at the double meaning of the words that went far beyond what my daughter could understand. "Your net is a wonderful idea though, thank you so much for letting me borrow it."

"You're very welcome." She rolled off of my lap and grabbed Milky Way, pressing him against my chest. "And Milky Way says he'll stay with you to make you feel better. He's the best at that."

"My sweet girl." I could feel tears start to well in my eyes at just how incredible she was. "Thank you for that, but I think Milky Way has something a little more important to do tonight."

"What?"

"I need him to stay with _you_, because I won't be there to kiss you goodnight. And what does Mama say is the most magical power that unicorns have?"

"Oh! I know! It's that they can carry kisses in their horn and always make sure the right person gets them." She repeated the made up legend that Brittany had taught her the first time she was old enough to realize what it meant to sleep somewhere without us. Genius, seriously.

"That's right, _mi amor_, and I need to make sure that you get my goodnight kiss tonight, and I'm sure Mama wants you to get her's too, so I think he should go with you."

"Well." Annie considered that for a minute, lips pursed in intense concentration. "What about you? How will you get my goodnight-feel better kiss?"

"Don't worry, I have all of your kisses saved up inside of my heart. Now here, Milky Way, this job you have is very, very important." I lifted Milky Way up to my lips and kissed his horn while Annie giggled beside me. "_Un beso de duces sueños por mi Annalise."_

_"Y un beso porqué te amo mucho." _Annie wrapped her arms around my neck and gave me one of her sweet little kisses before resting her head against my chest to listen to my heartbeat. "An extra one, just in case."

"I love you so very much, Annalise. I'll see you in the morning."

"Okay, Mamí. I hope you feel much better then."

* * *

After Annie scrambled down off the bed, I took a sip of the water that Britt must have left while I was sleeping. I loved that the Emetrol had made me feel so much better, and sort of hated it at the same time. Sighing, I listened to the commotion downstairs as Brittany got Annie out the door, and a few minutes later, she came into the room, a soft smile on her face as she paused for an instant in the doorway. When she sat down on the bed beside me, my body instinctively curled into hers, and she kissed the shell of my ear before silently running her fingers through my tangled hair.

"Britt." I looked up to find so much warmth in her blue eyes, and she stilled her motions. "I love you, like so much that it's scary."

"It shouldn't scare you, because I love you just as much."

"Everything feels scarier right now." I confessed in a breathy whisper.

"You can talk to me, Santana. You know that saying the words out loud sometimes helps to put things into perspective. It's just me and you right now, and helping you mark sense of what's going on in your head is just as much taking care of you as running you a bath. I remember that feeling too, you know, when suddenly everything feels so big and terrifying."

"Really? I just feel like you were so _good _at being pregnant."

"It was a completely different pregnancy, and yeah, physically I was lucky, but I had my freak out moments too."

"I'm sorry I didn't-"

"Oh no, we're not rehashing all of that now." She shook her head and kissed me softly on the lips. "The only reason I'm even bringing it up is so you don't feel so alone. So talk to me, tell me what's scaring you."

"Okay." I breathed, taking her arms and wrapping them around my middle so her hands were resting on my stomach, the way I felt most safe and loved. "Rationally, I know I'm being ridiculous, and kind of bordering on high school era Rachel Berry melodrama, but bare with me, okay?"

"Of course." I felt Brittany's small chuckle against me side, and I pressed back further into her.

"I'm _freaking _out about needing to interrupt you at work when you're so busy, I'm really, really scared that I need to take these stupid drugs, because even after everything, I still find myself associating putting something foreign in my body with weakness, with giving up the fight. I'm not even scared about the _drugs _hurting the baby, I trust Dr. Singh so much, but I'm scared about _me _hurting them, about passing down all the things I hate about myself into this helpless little life."

"San." Brittany buried her face in my hair, and I could feel her breath tickling my scalp. "I wish, so much, that just for one day you could see yourself through my eyes, that you could love youthe way _I_ love you. You know that love doesn't make you blind, you see my flaws and I see yours, but when I think about who the person growing inside of you is going to become, do you know what I see?"

"What?"

"I see this beautifully stubborn child, once they put their mind to something, there will be no turning back. And sometimes, like I've seen with you and all the things you've beat, that stubbornness is necessary, but other times, it'll drive us, especially you, absolutely insane. They'll be the best kind of good hearted, the kind where they don't recognize it, and that makes it so much better because they're not doing good deeds for show, but because they really believe in it. They'll think they're tough, but really, they're a big ball of sweetness and mush, and the ones they love, us, their sister, the rest of our family will get to feel this intense love that comes from them. They'll be amazing, Santana, flaws and all, just like you are."

"Brittany." I looked into her eyes again, and they were as filled with tears as I knew mine were.

"I want you to know that taking something so you can feed yourself and feed our baby doesn't make you weak. I know you wanted a completely drug free pregnancy, and I'm so, so proud of you that you don't want to let anything compromise your sobriety in the slightest, but what you're taking is mostly vitamins, it's not something that even remotely threatens that."

"I know, I do, when I can think rationally. But it made me think about other things too. I need you to make me a promise, B. Obviously I get emotional and agree to anything when I'm sick, but six months from now, when we are in the delivery room, no matter what I say, or what I think is a good idea, please, just don't let them give me anything."

"That, I absolutely can promise you. Can you promise me something too, for real this time? Promise me that in the future, if you're feeling even half as bad as you did this morning, that you'll call me without hesitating?"

"Britt, you're working so hard right now." I tried to protest. "This is your big, important thing."

"No, _this."_ She rubbed one hand on my belly and cupped my cheek with the other. "Is my big important thing. Bigger and more important than the whole universe, remember? I'm a _choreographer_, and yeah, my job is important to me, but I'm not a brain surgeon, or the President of the United States. And honestly, even if I was Hillary Clinton and had to leave the Prime Minister of England sitting in the Oval Office, I would."

"It's a good thing you're not." I laughed, and tilted my head up to kiss her fully. "I think foreign relations would suffer greatly."

"Oh my God, Rick said exactly the same thing when I said that to him before. I told him, by the way."

"Ugh, did he say something vaguely passive aggressive about it?"

"No, surprisingly. Although it could be because I told him I was taking maternity leave in the summer, not when things are actually busy around there, so it softened the blow. But he said to pass his congratulations on to you."

"Well, I guess we are ticking down the list of people we have to tell."

"Yeah, we still have the biggest one though."

"That we do. I want to wait though, until I feel better, Britt. I prefer her thinking it's a bug making me sick than her new sibling." I smiled, gesturing over to the butterfly net and Brittany giggled.

"She's the best, seriously. But I agree with you, and it's still too far away for her to really understand, and once you're showing, it'll be easier for her to get it."

"Absolutely."

* * *

We lay there together for a while before I decided that I needed to get out of the room, out of the house, and just breathe, even if it was only for a few minutes. After pulling on sweatpants that were just a little too tight in the waist, Brittany and I bundled up in our heaviest coats (I was so glad my body didn't feel like it was on fire anymore, at least there was _that_) and walked hand in hand out of the house. The burn in the back of my throat from inhaling the ice cold air was surprisingly settling, and I closed my eyes for an instant just to savor it. When we were halfway to Washington Square Park, stopping to see how other people had decorated their houses (we were a little behind in that respect), the snow started to fall in big, thick flakes. It wasn't even the first snow of the year, but there was just something about Brittany and snowflakes that made me feel almost irrationally happy, especially given how totally miserable I'd felt for about ninety-percent of the day. Pulling her by the hand, she spun herself into my arms, and I grabbed her cheeks with my gloved hands, kissing her in front of the Capital One bank on Bleecker Street like we were in some kind of cheesy romantic Christmas in New York movie with terribly overt product placement. _That _right then, that feeling of elation, the stark contrast to the anguish I'd felt hours earlier, anguish not wholly related to feeling sick, may have been the very definition of a mood swing.

"Feeling better?" Brittany asked, smiling against my lips as she twirled a strand of hair that had come loose from my messy ponytail.

"A lot." I tugged one of the strings that hung from her hat and watched the flakes catch in her eyelashes. "You look so pretty right now. I mean, you look so pretty always, but the snow, and the Christmas lights, and just, all the ways you make me feel okay, you look even more beautiful."

"My Santana." Happy tears sparkled in her eyes, and she pulled me closer to her, kissing me again. "This might be the most perfect date night."

"Just standing in the street, giving a free show to all the people passing by?"

"You know it's never been about where we go, or what we do. Having even a moment of time where we just exist, with each other, that's what makes it special for me.

"Such a charmer. How about we make it a real date night, and go get some ice cream? I know it's not real food, and it's like twenty-six degrees, but I feel like maybe-definitely I could actually swallow some caramel pretzel ice cream."

"Oh, now _you're _the charmer. You had me at ice cream, baby."

We laughed, and even when we tried to stop, one of us would let out another giggle or a snort (totally not me) and then we'd start up again. Maybe I'd never get to the point where I'd love myself the way Brittany loved me, or the way I loved Brittany, but every single moment that something simple and magical happened, I thought maybe, just maybe, I got a little bit closer. Tucking the hand that held tightly to Brittany's in my coat pocket, we started walking again. I'd hold out hope that the few hours that the pills had helped wasn't a fluke, that I wouldn't go back to being needy and miserable, that I'd get that on top of the world, I can do anything (in between dying for sex, all the time) feeling, but either way, I knew I'd be okay, knew that I'd overcome so much more than just a rough pregnancy. And catching my wife's eyes again, seeing the adoring smile that played on her lips as she tapped my side from the inside of my coat told me that she believed in it, believed in _me, _just as much.

* * *

**End Note: So Santana is on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, as evidenced by all of her crazy ups and downs this chapter, but like I've promised before, things won't get too angsty!**


	15. Chapter 15-Little Wonders

**Author's Note: As usual, you guys are awesome with your reviews, thanks to pictureofsuccess, ishlheard2day, Blueskkies, Pikibear, AlabamaMiles, Chuckleshan, mocblue, holip, gleekkrewfgh, lg4az, Gleek114 & the Guest reviewer.**

* * *

When I'd first opened the bottle of the pills that Dr. Singh prescribed for me, I was wholly freaked out by the fact that they literally had a drawing of a tiny purple pregnant lady imprinted on them. After the first few days of taking them though, once they really started to take effect, and I felt like I could function like an actual human again, I decided that I wouldn't even care if there was a woman _being _impregnated on them, they were as good as magic. Okay, maybe magic is going just a few steps too far, it wasn't like I was miraculously one of those glowing, peppy pregnant women in, like, fabric softener commercials or something (seriously, was having a bun in the oven some kind of requirement to pitch Downey?), I still felt a little bit nauseous, and probably more exhausted, but I wasn't throwing up, I wasn't yelling at the baby, and I wasn't calling Brittany in a panic at work. Things were _definitely _looking up.

Because Dr. Singh was taking a two week vacation right as my first trimester was coming to an end (I'd checked with her several dozen times just to make sure that she _wouldn't _be when it came close to my due date), and I didn't want to see another doctor at the birthing center, we ended up having no choice but to make the appointment for the day before Britt's showcase. Because it was usually her most stressful day of the year, even more stressful than the hours actually leading up to the performances, she'd left the house early for a meeting with Rick (he may have actually lived at the studio, I wasn't sure), and I dropped Annie off for her last day of school before break, making sure not to forget the cupcakes for her party and the spa gift certificate we'd bought as a Christmas gift to Callie. Because I _maybe _wanted to peek into the maternity clothes store around the block from Dr. Singh's office, even though I wasn't quite ready for them yet, I headed uptown on my own. When Brittany arrived at the office, she was flushed and breathing heavy, despite making it with ten minutes to spare.

"Oh thank God." She sank down into the chair next to me. "Remind me to never take the 6 train when I'm in a rush during the holidays again. I had to wait for _three _trains, they were so packed. I'm so sorry."

"Hey. " I smiled, leaning over to kiss her temple. "You're not even late, and I'm surprisingly really, really calm."

"Yeah." She laughed and grazed her hands over my stomach. "You really are, and now I'm the one freaking out."

"The timing sucks, and you've had a lot of extra stuff on your plate this year." My cheeks reddened a little, knowing that although she'd never complained, and although we had our _family first _rules, I definitely hadn't made things any easier with my neediness. "But thanks, you know, for understanding that I didn't want to see another doctor for this appointment."

"We're comfortable with her, I get that. Yeah, there probably couldn't be a worse day for this, but we're going to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. That makes for a pretty welcome hour break from the studio."

"I wonder if Dr. Singh called our mothers and they've started a pool on how long it takes me to cry in there today."

"I don't know, babe, yesterday you cried watching _Frosty the Snowman_, I'm actually surprised you're not _already _crying." She teased, kissing my knuckles. "We know how you get with baby heartbeats."

"That movie is _sad._" I argued. "I mean, when Karen is in that freezing cold boxcar with him, so he doesn't melt? Anyone would cry, just like with baby heartbeats, I seem to remember you being absolutely no better with Annie, shut up."

"Santana Lopez-Pierce." The receptionist called out before Britt could answer me, but she smiled sweetly at me and kissed my forehead before linking our hands and leading me back to the exam room.

Not even realizing how quick I was moving, I changed into my gown, and the nurse came in to weigh me (only three pounds gained, it seriously felt like I was swelling up like Violet in _Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)_. Once she left again, I scrambled up onto the exam table and relaxed my head against the pillow, breathing in deeply. Britt moved the chair at my side so it was directly between my head and the ultrasound screen, wanting, I assumed, the best possible view of both of us and we waited completely impatiently for Dr. Singh to enter the room. I had been calm, I wasn't lying about that, while sitting in the waiting room, but laying on the table waiting proved to be anxiety causing. Hearing the heartbeat was major, it meant everything was really, seriously okay, and I needed so badly to have that moment come. Anxiously, I rubbed my knuckles over my belly and closed my eyes, feeling Britt's hand close over one of mine, her fingers rubbing beside where my knuckles were.

"Good morning ladies." Dr. Singh entered the room, and I felt that instant surge of relaxation at the sound of her voice. "How are you feeling, Santana?"

"So much better, I'm no longer convinced that my eggs were inseminated with the sperm of Satan."

"Santana." Brittany tried to scold, but she knew I was completely kidding, and she knew I was making jokes because I was so nervous.

"Well, we do _try _to keep our babies human around here." Dr. Singh didn't miss a beat. "But if you read the paperwork you signed, we make no guarantees."

"And that's why you should always read the fine print." I laughed, and Britt shook her head with a smile, knowing I'd probably read over ever piece of paperwork we ever signed for _anything _far more times than is actually necessary, and it's entirely possible that I could even recite the terms of our mortgage verbatim.

"Okay." Dr. Singh finished washing her bands and snapped on gloves. "All joking aside, I'm glad the pills are helping, and hopefully by early next month you won't need them anymore. Are you ready to get started?"

"Absolutely." I nodded, holding Britt's hand tighter than I'd even thought possible.

While Dr. Singh did the exam, I kept my eyes trained on Brittany. I loved how fascinated she was by my changing body, and I definitely understood where she was coming from when she said it was so much different watching it happen to someone else than to yourself. Even with how awful I'd felt, I loved the idea of being pregnant and carrying something that meant so much inside of me, but there was also so much to be said for watching the person you love do the same. I'd been in Brittany's position, desperately waiting to see what comes next, since you can't physically feel it, so seeing her like that did the strangest things to my heart. My stomach started to flip flop when I knew the first part of the exam was finished and Dr. Singh raised up my gown, pressing her fingers against my abdomen, and finally squeezing the blue gel from a tube all over it. I shivered, not from the cold of it, but from my nerves, and I felt Britt slide her chair back so she was closer to me, and she rested the one hand that wasn't already squeezing mine on my shoulder. It really was the strangest thing, when the sound of our tiny baby's heartbeat filled the room, even after having heard Annie's dozens of times. This baby, this tiny, plum sized baby's heart was beating inside of me, and hearing that impossibly fast sound both made my heart speed up and calm right down all at once.

"The baby's really in there, and they're okay." I choked out through tears. It didn't matter that I'd known that I was pregnant for over two months, it didn't matter that I'd _felt _pregnant for weeks, I don't think I truly believed any of it was real until that moment.

"And the baby looks like a baby. Not a tadpole, or a bug, or a blob, but a _baby_." Brittany squeaked out through her own tears and pointed at the screen.

"Holy shit." I breathed, and then laughed, because I vividly remembered my first words after hearing Annie's heartbeat being _what the fuck? _Apparently I had absolutely no ability to get through moments like that without cursing in front of the baby. "That's a beautiful baby."

"Of course it is." Brittany didn't restrain herself from kissing me softly on the lips, and her tears fell on my cheeks. "You're beautiful, I wouldn't expect any less."

"Wow. Just wow." I sighed happily, overwhelmed by the picture on the screen, the sound in my ears, and the sweet, sweet feeling of relief that rushed through me. I moved the hand that Brittany clasped in her's down to the side of my stomach, and just let them rest there, feeling even more connected to everything else.

"I'm pretty sure I already know your answer." Dr. Singh finally broke us from the trance we'd fallen into. "But did you want to know the sex of the baby?"

"No." I shook my head, and Brittany mirrored my actions. "All we wanted to know was that they're healthy."

"That's what I figured." She smiled. "And I love that you're one of the few couples who still wants to be surprised."

"Santana usually hates surprises." Britt pressed a kiss to the side of my face. "But not with this."

"In the middle of that absolutely terrifying night when Annie was born, there was this amazing moment when I looked down into that incubator and saw for the first time that I had a daughter. That moment is something I want Britt and I to get to experience together this time, hopefully minus all the terror." I inhaled deeply, feeling the tears leaking from the corners of my eyes again.

"Sounds good to me." Dr. Singh said, for lack of anything else after my weird heartfelt declaration. "And yes, this little one definitely a healthy one, nice strong heartbeat, and just about two inches long. Keep up the good work, moms."

* * *

The next morning, mostly well rested after the doctor's appointment that calmed me down significantly, I woke up to Brittany's soft goodbye kisses. When I blinked my eyes and looked over at the clock, I frowned a little bit, seeing as it was barely after six, and she'd been back and forth from the studio for most of the previous night, finally crawling into bed with me long after I'd fallen asleep. Once my sleepy brain caught up with me though, and I realized what day it was, the excitement started to buzz through me. It wasn't just the idea of Britt dancing up on stage, although that alone made me feel a _different _kind of excited, a kind that had been seriously lacking during my weeks of feeling like crap. No, beyond that, after my wife finished kicking some serious ass, like she always did, we'd go into full fledged Christmas mode (_You know, Santa Claus and ho-ho-ho and presents for pretty girls? _Of course, another holiday, another Charlie Brown special, it was scary that I now had most of them memorized). Brittany wouldn't even go near her studio for _three weeks, _Annie was on break from school, our parents were in town, and probably the most exciting was that for the first time in her life, Annie really seemed to understand just what the holiday season was all about.

"Love you, babe." I mumbled sleepily against Brittany's lips, before pulling her in closer to me and deepening our kiss. Even as someone who was formerly a performer, and who knew the superstition, I had always been slightly wary of the phrase _break a leg_, and after watching her perform countless times, and nervously saying it every single time, I'd taken to wishing my wife luck in my own silent way instead.

"I love you too." She reluctantly detached her lips from mine and quickly planted a kiss below my belly button. "Both of you. You'll come find me before the show, right?"

"You know it." I pushed myself up with my elbows into a sitting position and wrapped my arms around her neck, touching my forehead to hers. "Like I'd miss the chance to announce to everyone that the great Brittany Lopez-Pierce is my wife."

"_The great Brittany Lopez-Pierce_, huh? Can that be my official title?" She laughed, nipping at my bottom lip.

"Totally. I'll get you a badge, organize a parade in your honor, make your birthday a national holiday. Whatever you want."

"Wow, you must have some _pretty _high up connections to make all of that happen. And here I thought I'd have to reveal my superhero alter-ego and save the world for that."

"No, don't do that! I think I'd be a little jealous of all the other damsels in distress you'd have to save." I teased.

"Don't worry, honey. You'll always be my number one damsel, in distress or not."

"That's very good to know." I pressed my lips softly against hers again, twirling the end of her ponytail between my fingers and knowing that she really needed to leave. "Seriously though Brittany, I hope you know how proud I am of you, how proud it makes me feel to tell people that I'm the other Mrs. Lopez-Pierce and to hear them gush about you. You are absolutely amazing in a million ways, both as the incredibly talented and extremely sexy choreographer that's going to have _another_ epic show tonight, and as my Britt, love of my life, mother of my children, best cuddle buddy in the entire world."

"Oh, so _that's _why you want to give me a parade?" She joked, squeezing my hand. "For my awesome cuddling abilities."

"Well, duh." I grinned as she kissed me on the forehead and stood up, waving over her shoulder as she left the room.

* * *

Our parents and Lizzie (who was thrilled to be between semesters) had arrived in town the night before, but despite us having the guest room and the bed in the office in our house, they'd all opted to stay at the same Marriott that they always did when they were all in the city at the same time. It was an unspoken thing between us, but I appreciated their consideration nonetheless. Between Brittany's long work hours, Annie's break from school and the chaos that naturally came with the holiday season, our daughter's routine had been shaken up enough, having five extra people in the house would probably have been nothing but a recipe for disaster. While Britt was doing her last minute preparations for the evening, Annie and I _did _spend the morning with them, mostly watching the ice skaters at the World Financial Center while she chattered on animatedly about going to get our Christmas tree, seeing Santa Claus, and being so, so excited about getting to watch her Mama's big show. As the day progressed, I, as was typical whenever Brittany was performing, began to feel extremely restless, and the time for us to head back home and start getting ready couldn't have come soon enough.

Once I'd gotten Annie bathed and into her purple dress and tights, she settled on the floor of her room with her crayons while I went to take a shower and spend an absurdly long time getting ready. _Obviously, _I had to look insanely hot, and given the state of my body, it took more time than usual, but that's why I'd started our process three hours before we needed to leave the house. Periodically checking on my daughter, who would pay me the sweetest compliments every time I came into her room one step closer to being finished, I curled my hair, and put on my makeup and jewelry (just my Brittany diamonds, because why did I need anything else?). Feeling pretty awesome about myself, I pulled the beautiful sequined silver gown that Kurt and I had shopped for three weeks earlier out of the closet. I guess I hadn't thought that through (and I mostly blame Kurt, since that's his damn job), because putting on a gown is definitely not the same as sitting your jeans a little lower on your hips to button them when you gain weight. After fighting with the zipper, feeling my soaring self confidence from moments earlier begin to plummet, I heard a sickening (okay, dramatic) rip in the fabric.

"_¿Me estás jodidamente bromeando?" _I gasped a little bit, trying to twist my body so I could see how bad the tear was, not that it mattered, because I probably had less of an ability to fix clothes than a caged gorilla. Before I began to unnecessarily panic, I carefully, so as not to make the situation worse, tugged the dress off and sat down on the bed, running my palms over the pudge in my waistline and replaying the sound of the baby's heartbeat in my mind to calm myself. "Baby, Mamí is batting a thousand this month. I really need to get used to having you in there."

It was definitely a struggle for me not to get irrationally angry or upset, especially since I knew that I had nothing else in my closet that would work, but I sat surveying the damage. Just a two inch rip along the zipper seam on my lower back, you know, no big deal (insert exasperated sigh). _First world problems, _I couldn't help but laugh at my own ridiculousness, poor, poor upper middle class woman with her beautiful wife and daughter, her healthy fetus, her happy life, and her ripped gown, tragic, really. _But, _minor setback or not, I did actually need to figure something out, or else go to the show as Brittany's hot _naked _wife. Shaking my head, glad I didn't let myself start acting crazy, I grabbed the phone and dialed the only person who would have any clue how to rectify the situation.

"You need to get to my house, right now." I ordered the instant Kurt answered the phone.

_"Well since you asked so nicely, I'll be sure to stop everything I'm doing and get on that."_

"Please, you go ahead and keep trying to act like I don't know you Hummel. You've probably been standing in front of the mirror in your tux for the past forty-five minutes, at least, just staring at yourself. And I bet Blaine has changed his bowtie approximately twenty-nine times. Guess what, there is someone else whose hotness matters infinitely more than yours, tonight and all nights, and that one person is _me. _I have two words for you, fashion emergency."

_"Oh dear God, what did you do now?"_ I could almost hear his eye roll on the other end of the phone, it wasn't the first time and it certainly wouldn't be the last time that I had to call Kurt for some type of wardrobe disaster.

"I'm taking about ten-percent of the blame for this, the other ninety-percent is _all _you. Guess what, pregnant people get fat Mr._ New York Times _Style Editor, so pack up your sewing basket, check your snarky comments at the door and hurry your sweet ass up because I ripped my damn dress and you need to fix it."

_"I'm just going to go ahead and ignore _**_your _**_snarky attitude, because I won't take it out on Brittany, or, more importantly, Naeem Khan. That dress is flawless, I'll be there in ten minutes and whatever you do Santana, do not touch it, I know you, you'll just make things worse."_

"Your faith in me is outstanding." It was my turn to roll my eyes. "Let yourself in, I'm upstairs."

Slipping back into my robe, I checked myself in the mirror again, reminding myself that I still looked damn good. My fingers traced the scars on my neck, as I thought about how little time had passed since I refused to leave the house without covering them, how the soon-to-be-fixed dress definitely did _not _cover them, and I was totally okay with that. Marred skin or not, pregnant or not, I'd learned a lot about being confident, and not just in the superficial, telling the world I'm hot until I believe it myself kind of way. No, the belief in my own beauty ran so much deeper than that as the years passed, as I learned to see at least the physical part of myself through Brittany's eyes, through my daughter's eyes. I was still lost in my thoughts when Kurt burst through the doorway to the bedroom carrying the glittery fuchsia toolbox that I'd been laughing at for years.

"Hey fatty." He smirked, and I resisted the urge to backhand him, even though I knew he was kidding, and even though I probably deserved what _everyone _would say to me after my near-constant stream of Rachel Berry pregnancy jokes three years earlier.

"Listen, Fairy Godmother. Until you magically grow a _vagina_, you do not get to call me a fatty, _compredes_? Now shut up and fix my damn dress before I make it so you're one step closer to that dream." I tried to hide the playful smirk, but one look from Kurt and I knew he'd caught on.

"Ooh! The bitch is back!" Kurt clapped his hands and then grabbed me in a hug that I couldn't shake off. "How I've missed you, Satan."

"Seriously, castration, does that sound good to you? Can you just help me out here and not make this a production?"

"Yeah, yeah. I know you love me and you need me, and if I was going to wait for you to ask for my help nicely, we'd be here all night, and we don't have time for that. Put the dress back on so I can see what kind of damage I'm dealing with."

While I re-dressed, Kurt unpacked his "sewing basket," and despite having full confidence in his ability to perform wardrobe damage control, my eyes widened as he pulled out the giant scissors. He studied me, marking, pinning and finally making me take off the dress again so he could get to work. I couldn't help but laugh at him as he sat there, still in his tuxedo jacket snipping and sewing like some old timey tailor.

"You're not going to like, cut the entire back out and make me embarrass Britt when her fat, _slutty _wife shows up, are you?"

"Oh, would you stop? I was just messing with you when I called you fat, and Brittany's probably the only person who you'd _never _embarrass, God knows you've mortified the rest of us enough times, and I'm not even talking about when you actually had an excuse for it. Need I mention the great NYADA Paula Abdul scandal?"

"I _still _stand by that being the best performance that place has ever seen. And Rachel will love actually having something exciting to write in her memoirs some day."

In only fifteen minutes, Kurt somehow miraculously (which I will never admit) managed to not only fix the dress, but also sew in some kind of elastic situation around the zipper so I wouldn't look like I'd stuffed myself into a sausage casing. Okay, I'd only gained three pounds, but still, evening gowns were totally unforgiving, and I had only thought to choose one that made my boobs look particularly awesome (as was my typical M.O.), not hide the _ate too many cheeseburgers _situation going on down lower. But when I looked in the mirror, I felt sexier than I had in weeks, and when I made Kurt open his eyes (yes, he really closed his eyes as if he hadn't seen me naked dozens of times), I couldn't fight the urge to wiggle my hips a little for him.

"You're welcome." He grinned at his own handiwork, before I could say anything and I smiled genuinely at him. "You look pretty smokin' in that dress."

"Did you really just call me _smokin'? _No, just no."

"Mamí!" Annie bounced into the bedroom. "You look so beautiful!"

"_Gracias_, _mija. _But not as beautiful as you." She lifted her arms up, and I knelt down carefully to lift her up and spin her around. "We do have to thank Uncle Kurt though, for his nice work, since he _did _pick out my dress for me, and then helped me out a little bit just now."

"Thank you, Uncle Kurtsy!" Annie bubbled, and Kurt shook his head at me with a smile, knowing that I'd much easier express my love and gratitude through my daughter than with my own words. "And you look very pretty too."

"Why thank you, Annalise." Kurt curtsied (and I swear, I wasn't the one who taught Annie to call him Kurtsy because he did that, or to call him pretty, that was _all _her) and kissed her hand. "Let's go, princesses, put your coats on, because your coachman Blaine awaits with your chariot outside. No sense taking a cab when we're already here."

* * *

After carefully pinning the medal that I'd taken off my neck for the first time since my mother had given it to me inside of my dress (and knowing Britt had done exactly the same thing in her bra), and buttoning our coats, we hurried out to the curb and scrambled into the car. I sat close to Annie, one arm holding her protectively because even if she was too old to _need _a carseat, I still preferred her sitting in one. When we made it to the theater, Kurt and Blaine took our coats and hurried off to find everyone else, while Annie and I took our privilege to see Brittany for just two minutes. Even though she was usually in the midst of backstage chaos, she always wanted to see us quickly before we went to take our seats in the audience. Once we made it past the security guard and into the dressing room, we were surrounded by a flurry of dancers that Britt had been working with for years, all saying their quick hellos before scurrying off to get ready. While Annie blushed profusely at the attention and clung tightly to my side, I beamed, scanning the room with my eyes to try and find my wife.

"Mama!" Annie shrieked, having spotted her first, and ran directly into her arms. "Mama! We're here!"

"My favorite girls!" Brittany nearly squealed as she squeezed Annie tightly. "I'm so glad to see you, sweetheart."

"I'm going to clap the very loudest when I get to see you dance." She promised, and a smile lit up Brittany's face.

"Don't be so sure about that." I grinned, closing the gap between the two of them and me. "I think you've got some pretty stiff competition, _mi amor."_

" 'S okay, Mamí, together we'll make sure Mama gets the loudest claps _ever._" Annie nodded her head to punctuate her point, and Brittany reached out her hand to clasp it with mine.

"Sounds like a great idea, Annie." Britt set her down on the floor and let her eyes rake over my body appreciatively.

"Hi." I said, feeling almost shy as my cheeks heated under her gaze.

"You look gorgeous." She smiled, and I kissed her fully on the lips, resting my hands on her hips and instinctively tugging her closer to me. "Like, really, really gorgeous."

"Look who's talking." I laughed as our noses brushed together. "Just wanted to wish you...you know, one last time."

"Seeing you two before a performance always calms me down, so thanks for making sure you're here."

"Always." I pulled her hand to my lips and kissed the inside of her wrist. "Come on, baby girl, let's say goodbye to Mama and go find everyone else."

"Bye, Mama! I love you!" Annie climbed up her excitedly one last time and Britt kissed her forehead. "Break a leg."

"_Please don't._" I mouthed, and Brittany shook her head at my silliness, carefully passing Annie back into my arms. "Love you babe, You're all going to kill it out there, as usual."

"Love you both, see you soon!"

* * *

Setting Annie down on the floor, she slipped her hand into mine, and we scurried to our seats in the front of the theater. As it typically happened, since we'd starting having our backstage moments with Britt the year of her second showcase, Annie and I were the last ones seated. Even though it was just our parents and our closet friends who sat with us (including Mike and Tina, because Mike refused to miss Britt's _ass kicking, _as he'd referred to her choreography skills since high school), I felt like some kind of peacock, strutting up to our seats with my daughter close to me, knowing how many people sat in the audience to watch what _my wife _had created, how many reporters would write glowing reviews, just how freaking special the entire night was. Brittany, though she preferred to remain primarily in the background and not make a gigantic spectacle of her talent was kind of a big deal, and I loved it, because she deserved every ounce of that recognition.

When the lights dimmed, my heart always quickened, though in a much different way than it used to. Annie gripped my hand tightly, and I stole glances at the awe on her face each time a new dancer took the stage, every single step they took brilliantly designed, and I really, really wasn't being partial. It was completely entrancing, even when Brittany wasn't the one dancing, but when she finally did come out for the last number, the one she'd given up arguing with Rick about performing, I felt my mother's hand on my forearm, knowing that in my semi-fragile emotional state, seeing my wife in a way that was always so intimate, despite being in a packed theater, was likely to set me weeping. It took about two chords for Mamí to be right, and it didn't even matter the song, just watching her body had the tears running down my face and my mouth covered to prevent my emotional gasps from escaping in the hushed audience. She threw her body so effortlessly on the stage, and I swear, she looked like she was made of sparkles (I know, I know, I get carried away), between her fair skin, blonde hair, and the gold dress she wore as her bare feet moved across the stage. Of course, the lyrics that she was dancing to (_Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of fate) _didn't exactly help, especially with the tiny hand clinging tightly to me, and the total and complete truth about the magic of the littlest wonders, running through my head even more so than normal after the ultrasound.

"Mama looks so beautiful." Annie breathed, knowing she wasn't supposed to talk, but not being able to contain herself. I just nodded, squeezing my daughter's hand even tighter.

For just an instant, Brittany's eyes caught mine as she danced, and I removed my hand from my mouth so she could see just how wide I was smiling. The song was over so quickly, like it always was, even though I could sit there watching her in that state forever, and I knew that I was the first to jump to my feet when the clapping began. Stephen had lifted Annie up into his arms, holding her at my level beside me, and she wasn't kidding when she told Britt that she'd be clapping the loudest, I couldn't believe that child sized hands could even make that much noise, but she was as proud of her Mama's talent as I was. We kept exchanging glances, Annie giggling a little in all her excitement, and me trying to hold my own in. When the applause began to die down, Stephen slipped her into my arms and I sat down with her, hugging her so tightly to keep all of my emotion from bursting forth again.

"That was the most beautiful dance ever." She whispered so softly with her face buried into my hair.

"And so much of it was for you and me, Annalise."

"Mama always dances for us, just like you always sing for us."

"That's the truth, my sweet, sweet girl."

"Someday, I'm going to dance or sing for you too."

"No matter which way you find to express yourself, I know it will be just as beautiful as this, _mi corazón._"

* * *

Finding Brittany after a performance was always a flurry of hugs, kisses, tears and profuse praising, and not just from Annie and me. There was always a dinner, all sixteen of us in some restaurant, once Britt spoke to her dancers and listened to Rick carry on about how she got better with every show (duh), and there was toast after toast in her honor. Of course, throughout it all, even with the hum of excitement, both Annie and Brittany were usually exhausted, and this year, I joined them in that feeling. Once we'd finally been served dessert, and everyone had been aptly thanked for coming (we'd be seeing them all with the holidays, they'd hear our gratitude even more later), Annie was sleeping against Britt's chest, not letting her go, and I slid an arm around my wife's waist, guiding her out to the curb to hail a cab. Within a half hour, we were home, the baby was tucked in, and Brittany had collapsed on her back on our bed, all those weeks of being everything to everyone finally catching up to her.

"Rick's usually an idiot." I said, curling up beside her after shimmying out of my dress and throwing a t-shirt over my head. "But he's right about how you always manage to outdo yourself. All of it was flawless, but you know I'm partial to your piece. And I think it was even more incredible because this will probably be the first year that Annie remembers, and you couldn't have picked a more perfect song."

"For some reason, I just couldn't get it out of my head." She rolled on her side so she was facing me and gave me a lazy smile.

"You should take your dress off, baby."

"Mmm." A smirk played at the corner of her lips. "Are you propositioning me?"

"Well, I wasn't, since I thought you might be too tired." I raised an eyebrow, suddenly feeling much more awake. "But I can be."

"I think you should."

Needing no further invitation (watching her dance _always _riled me up, and it had more so, since our sex life had suffered while I was so sick) I tugged the zipper down the side of her dress and slowly peeled it from her body, taking every inch of her body in with my eyes. Pressing my hands against her shoulders, I guided her to lie back again, and I watched her eyes darken as I took control in my own quiet way. Once she was fully undressed, I straddled her thighs, careful not to put too much weight on the area that I knew was sore, and tossed my shirt aside, and leaned in to kiss her with everything in me. Her hands tangled in my hair, and when I finally removed my lips from hers, I began slowly kissing her skin in the same way my eyes had savored her body moments earlier. While I placed slow, appreciative pecks on her neck and collarbone, my fingers reached beneath her body and dug into each sore muscle, starting from her shoulders and working the way down, the kind of deep, sensual massage that only someone who'd loved a dancer for so many years could give.

"I'm going to take care of you tonight, Britt." I whispered as I kissed just below her ear. "Just lie back."

"Ugh, San." She whimpered as my lips grazed the particularly sensitive spot at the base of her throat, intentionally timed with my fingers digging in to the back of her thighs, the spot where most of her tension usually collected. "Feels so...everything."

"Close you eyes. Relax."

For the better part of an hour, I did nothing but kiss, caress and massage her body, letting her satisfied words spur me further. When I felt that she'd finally let out so much of the stress that had been building for weeks, I let my lips come in contact with the small section of her body they'd been avoiding. Starting at Brittany's inner thighs, I alternated between the lightest brushing of my lips and sucking on the flesh there, feeling the clench of her strong muscles as I moved impossibly slowly up towards where she wanted me. I could feel that her eyes had opened, and I smiled into her skin, slowly raising mine to meet hers. It's impossible to describe the looks she always gives me when she watches me nestled between her thighs like that, but it's some strange combination of adoration and animalistic need. I kept teasing her, just barely letting my mouth graze where she wanted it most, and then returning to somewhere far more innocent, letting her build higher and higher. She'd worked so hard, all while taking care of me so well, and I felt like I was on a personal mission to give her the best release of her life. When a broken _please _escaped from her lips, and I could feel the scratch of her nails at the base of my neck, I knew how ready she was, and I couldn't deny her any longer. I kept my eyes locked on hers as my mouth worked furiously, bringing her as high as she could go, and then as she began to fall so beautifully, I slipped my fingers inside of her so I could slide up her body and hold her tightly as she fell apart in my arms.

"Santana." She breathed, pulling me in for a frenzied kiss as she slowly came down from her high, gathering her wits for several minutes before speaking again. "God, just, wow."

"Wanted to make sure you got a good night sleep tonight." I pressed another soft kiss on her collarbone.

"I might never wake up again after that. How can I not love you more when you make me feel that good?"

"I could ask you the same question, B. C'mon though." I snugged in closer to her, tucking the comforter back around us and letting my head drop against her chest, listening to the slowing beat of her heart. "Let's go to sleep, we both need it."

* * *

**End Note: The song Britt dances to is ****_Little Wonders_**** by Rob Thomas. If you're into that kind of thing and want to see a pretty awesome lyrical dance to that, search Lauren Dunning Little Wonders on youtube. So awesome!**


End file.
